The Best Band in Maryland is Bereave

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Back in August of 2014 we asked you to help us find the best unsigned bands in America. After listening to hundreds of submissions, we finally narrowed down our pick for the wealthiest by median household income state in the union. The best band in Maryland is Bereave.

Imagine if you will that your significant other just passed away due to a fatal crash. Some obnoxious frat boy, drunk off his chubbies from Long Island Iced Teas, ran a red light and plowed directly into the side of you sweetheart’s Jetta. Imagine the mire of hate and fury you would find yourself in as you stand next to that open grave while they lower her casket into the ground. With clenched fists and curses streaming between your gritted teeth, you vow revenge. But this can’t be a simple eye for an eye, oh no! You vow to make him suffer. You vow to make him hurt. Just as you were bereaved of the love of your life, his family, his lineage, everyone in his bloodline must be bereaved of all that they hold dear.

That burning inferno of malice and rage, that vortex of ire, is the nuclear heart at the core of Maryland’s Bereave! This is chaotic, dissonant, and visceral powerviolence propelled into the stratosphere. D-beats and off-kilter chords collide in a maelstrom of hate, accented by the unleashed venom of the hardcore vocal diatribes. “You’ll never be loved, only forgotten!” this band vows with genuine, palpable menace. If you like music that hits you like a vengeful freight train, you’re guaranteed to like Bereave. Gnaw will leave you crippled and broken, and deep down, you know you deserve it.

Check them out on Facebook and stream Gnaw over at Bandcamp.

Don’t believe me that Bereave are ten pounds of hate in a five pound bag? Hear what some of the other judges have to say:

Stockhausen: “I like to think that the members of Bereave recorded their album Gnaw while punching wimps and drinking vinegar, and also sweating a lot. While that doesn’t sound like a compliment, it definitely is. These guys are nasty in all the right ways, and their brutish take on sludgy hardcore absolutely hits the spot.”

Joe Thrashnkill: “I hope A389 waits until this contest is over to sign Bereave.”

Edward: “In the Toilet Ov Hell’s Best Unsigned Band in the U.S. contest, Maryland band Bereave have bereaved their competition of a first round victory. Bereave remind me a bit of a younger Full of Hell (which would make them toddlers in real life). Like Full of Hell, Bereave play sludgy hardcore and alternate between lightning fast chaotic passages and a tar-like, feedback-laden slower pace. An album highlight for me is on Gnaw‘s “Eric Foreman” (no shortage of That 70s Show love for these atheists). “Eric Foreman” opens at a mid-paced stomp; the riffs are anchored by the right amount of drum fills until the track gains intensity. Check it out for yourselves! Gnaw is available on Bandcamp at ‘name your price’, and at around sixteen minutes long it’s easy to take in one sitting. Congrats to Bereave. Good luck in the second round of this competition, boys.”


HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Mikhail (Hyattsville, MD): Gnarly blend of melodeath and power metal with killer riffs.

At the Graves (Baltimore, MD): Doom and a half.


 

The Toilet ov Hell is on an absurd quest to find the best unsigned band in each state of this glorious union. The purpose? To shine the spotlight on bands that deserve more exposure. Also, we’re going to determine once and for all the greatest state in the nation. Each state winner is decided by a collection of 25 judges. After we’ve announced the winner of each state, we’re gonna throw them all in a winner-take-all bracket and leave the votes up to you. Who will be the best unsigned band in the United States? Which state is superior? We can’t wait to find out.

Previous winners:

Alabama — Phylum
Alaska — Terraform
Arizona – Take Over And Destroy
Arkansas – Torii
California – Destroy Judas
Colorado – The Sleer
Connecticut – Autumn’s Eyes
Delaware – Sloss
Florida – Capracide
Georgia – Lost Hours
Hawaii – Darkest Path
Idaho – Rotten Hand
Illinois – Deus Ex
Indiana – Thorr-Axe
Kansas – Bummer
Kentucky – Ad Infinitum
Louisiana – Withering Light
Maine – Sylvia

(Photo VIA)

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  • I was worried this feature met it’s untimely demise. Still anxious for what the NM band will be.

    • DDubya.

      Not derailed, thankfully. Our schedule got all out of whack with year-end business.

      • End of the year is always a weird time for the internet.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        “business”

        • Thuacamole Jim

          “buttsecks”

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            “conversation”

          • Thuacamole Jim

            “pineapple”

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            “grammatical handstand”

          • Thuacamole Jim

            “verily yea”

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            “cool dude”

          • Thuacamole Jim

            “asphalt”

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            “jack and the beanstalk part 3 – this time the stalk, stalks you!”

          • Thuacamole Jim

            “lol’d”

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            “fun”

          • Thuacamole Jim

            “bereft of life”

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            “slow death, on the verge of this imminent demise”

          • Thuacamole Jim

            “hugz”

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            “end”

    • As much time as I’ve put into this fucker, I’ll be goddamned if we don’t see it through.

      • OO-ah

      • JWG

        Sounds entirely like trying to justify an unhealthy relationship.

        • A-ha-ha-uh…-hahahaha. I don’t know anything about that!

  • Ignatius the Wizened

    To mock is to Bereave,
    A heart’s halved in cleave.
    To Gnaw at one’s own heart,
    A putrid baker’s tart.

    • A baker’s putrid fart*

    • Thuacamole Jim
      • Ignatius the Wizened

        Show some cunting respect, or I will drop you, son!

        An avocado man named Jim,
        Dost spend his time at rim,
        He dodges hair and gas,
        In his love for eating ass.

        • DO ME NEXT.

          • Ignatius the Wizened

            I feel not that way for you, dear Lord,
            I pierce not men with mine sword,
            In maidens do I dip my wick,
            So vigorous I stir them sick.

          • lololol

          • Do I have permission to frame this and hang it in my home?

          • Ignatius the Wizened

            Permission? Hah! Commit to frame,
            A poem that is wrought with shame.
            Needest those of Dragon’s tongue,
            The Masterlord dost eateth mung.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            do me please?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Do me! I want a poem about me!

          • Tyree
          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Is that what I think it is?

          • Thuacamole Jim

            If you think it’s a poem, then you’re wrong.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I don’t want to know what it is but I know it’s not a poem.

          • Thuacamole Jim

            What in the actual fuck

          • Nordling Rites Ov MMXIV

            I think that I could say: That exactly.
            The actual fuck.

          • Scrimm

            Good movie.

          • Tyree

            Danielle Harris >>>>>>>>>>>>>

          • Ignatius the Wizened

            Dearest maiden, maiden dear
            Girl were I, would I be queer.
            Skimpy clothes, a purty pout,
            Strip it off, I’d pound her out.

          • Tyree
          • Scrimm

            I’ve had the biggest crush on her since I was about 9 and Halloween 4 came out.

          • Tyree

            Halloween 4 is a good time. I like how most of all the deaths are done with Michael Myers bare hands.

          • Scrimm

            Yes I do too. That is one of my favorites of the series.

          • Scrimm

            Also the pink Michael Myers. Can’t find a picture but look closely in the school scene.

          • Tyree

            Ok, I’m really curious now about this. I may have to put in the DVD when I get home.

          • Scrimm

            He has white hair too. It’s only one shot but you can’t miss it.

          • passes out / 10

          • Thuacamole Jim

            What movie is that? I need to see it for…. research!

          • Scrimm

            Hatchet 2 I believe. One of the Hatchet films for sure. Far from great cinema but entertaining.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Perfect response.

        • Thuacamole Jim

          Holy fuck you’re my hero

        • David Vincent’s Spandex Shirt

          OOooooooh #Perfidious

    • Bagels with wine and cheese,
      I’ve the bread disease.
      Spread butter like napalm,
      Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

      • Edward #negrodMMXV

        You got promoted to Duke!

      • Thuacamole Jim

        Bread tied in clever knots
        Occupies the baker’s dreams
        And even in her waking thoughts
        Her mind is fraught with such themes
        For pastries are her one desire
        Her heart beats faster with delight
        When on good bread she doth admire
        How the yeast adds to its height
        ‘Tis sad then, indeed, to know
        that from her love of bread; this fact
        Which from her lover caused her to go
        And shack up with a crisp hardtack
        Take heed to this tale of the baker oaf
        Don’t leave your spouse for a lifeless loaf

        • Archspire
          Archspire
          Archspire
          Archthpire

          • Thuacamole Jim

            While trudging through this barren land
            I have but one simple desire
            To hear some decent, heavy band
            But I receive only Archspire

          • Just wait till tomorrow lol, I have quite the treat to start off the new year.

          • CT-12

            New gorod?

          • Nah I wish, though I did mention their new song in the last tdt post.

          • CT-12

            I’m stoked dude, liked that song a lot more than most of the stuff on the last album, I know we disagree on this issue though.

          • Nah I agree, their first few albums were better than the most recent, but all their songs are amazing.

  • Renan Ribeiro

    You had me at sludgy hardcore

    Toilet ov Hell – contributing towards my ever increasing alimony debt since July 2014

    • Edward #negrodMMXV

      Toilet Ov Hell – contributing to my increasing hearing loss on a weekly basis since July 2014.

      • Toilet Ov Hell-Obliterating my wallet on a daily basis since July 2014

    • DeadButtDreaming

      Toilet ov Hell – contributing to my collection of STDs since 2014.

  • Rob M

    Nope..not the best unsigned metal band in MD..try again

    • Tyree

      Extermination Angel

      • Rob M

        Definitely should have been a contender at the very least

        • I did have Extermination Angel in the running but they only got a couple of votes.

          • Billy Bill Birry

            sleep disorder

          • Tyree

            Lana Del Rey? What happened to your face?

          • Billy Bill Birry

            it’s there

    • Expound, plox

      • Rob M

        Being from MD I disagree…I think there are way better metal bands from my state

        • Tyree

          Are you going to that Revenge/Mayhem/Watain show?

          • Rob M

            Hopefully…unless something changes I should be there.

            Did you see Father Befouled is coming through the area in April?

          • Tyree

            I’m debating going or not. I really want to see Revenge. I’m not a huge Watain fan though.

            I was not aware that Father Befouled is coming. Fucking sick! Who are they playing with?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I want to go the the Watain/Mayhem show at Webster Hall.

          • Rob M

            Revenge is who I really want to see as well, Im not a huge Mayhem guy, but Watain does a good live show..overall I think its probably worth seeing, but Revenge will blow everyone else away

            Father Befouled is playing with Encoffination and Ghoulgotha..should be awesome

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I like Mayhem. I hope their set isn’t mostly Esoteric Warfare material as that album was pretty crappy.

          • Rob M

            Mayhem hasnt been worth a damn since De Mysteriis

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I liked A Grand Declaration Of War. I didn’t like anything beyond that.

          • Nordling Rites Ov MMXIV

            Mayhem is more boring live than Dark Funeral. Watain is fun, but not too good musically, especially the newer sets. Revenge slays.

          • Tyree

            Dark Funeral fucking sucks live. Awful and boring.

          • Nordling Rites Ov MMXIV

            A bit worried as it is that a certain usuallymegafuckinggood festival has them as a headliner.

          • Rob M

            Id peg them right up with Enthroned..another band that bored the shit out of me live

          • Tyree

            I missed Enthroned last year at MDF. Glad I missed them.

          • Rob M

            Shit..they fucking sucked so hard. Bolzer had the whole venue pumped as hell. Enthroned wandered out and took way too goddamn long to set up..drummer just kept fucking around with his kit.

            By the time they finally started playing you could just feel the energy had been sucked out of the room…songs were boring and repetitive and no one gave a shit. Mgla should have had that slot instead

          • Tyree

            FUCKING A! Mgla definitely deserved a better slot. Fuck, were they goddamn great.

          • UGH Enthroned were HORRIBLE

          • Scrimm

            That they do. Fucking lolbuttz live, but I hate them anyway.

          • Rob M

            Yeah, I saw Revenge a couple years back at MDF..one of the few bands that managed an awesome set in that shitty tent they used

          • Tyree

            They destroyed every band that day.

          • Rob M

            I forget..did they play on the same day as Antaeus, because that set ripped as well

          • Tyree

            I don’t think so. I thought Antaeus played the same day as Aosoth. I can be completly wrong though.

            Antaeus was good but they had a bad sound mix.

          • Rob M

            They did..I cant remember ho played which day anymore

            See…I thought Antaeus was one of the few bands that had a good sound. It really seemed to be all about where you stood in that fucking tent

          • Tyree

            That tent was an awful idea.

          • Rob M

            It was..after reading an interview with them, I get why they did it, but it was an utter piece of shit..the sound guy didnt know what the fuck he was doing either

          • Idk, Thursday night of MDF 2013 sounded pretty great in there

          • Rob M

            I had issues on Thursday as well… Abigail was just a wall of sound and Cobalt sounded like shit…vocals were completely washed out, and it was nothing but low end (something the MDF sound guy struggled with all weekend).

            Bolt Thrower sounded okay, but Id heard they brought their own sound guy…even then it wasnt great just better by comparison

          • Tyree

            Nice, maybe I’ll see you there. I’ll be at the bar a lot if I go.

            Encoffination! Shit man, I’m there.

          • Rob M

            Cool..I’ll hit you up here if i end up going

            Yeah, dont miss the Father Befouled…theyre only doing like 4 dates and MD was lucky to catch one..thats going to be a sick show.

            Elektrokutioner is going to be drumming for all three bands as well..crazy

          • Tyree

            Yeah, I can miss this. I’m trying to look up where they are playing at. Do you know?

          • Rob M

            Baltimore..at the Sidebar

          • Tyree

            Nice, that venue is always killer.

          • Howard Dean

            Revenge is who I wanted to see, too.

            I actually have tickets to go to the Boston show this weekend, but won’t be going. Grownup shit. But I’m going to Behemoth/Cannibal Corpse/Tribulation/Aeon in February. Byah!

          • Rob M

            Not a big fan of most of those bands..Id probably go to see Tribulation, but thats about it

          • Howard Dean

            Tribulation is my #1 reason for going. Behemoth puts on a good live show, too. And Cannibal Corpse is Cannibal Corpse. I’ve always been pretty ambivalent about them, but I’ve never seen them live. Might as well throw ’em in.

          • Tyree

            Aeon should be a crusher dude.

          • Rob M

            Id second that. Ive never gotten into them myself, but thats just me, I know plenty of guys who really dig this band

          • Tyree

            They have potential to be much better. I hate their fucking production though. Way to plastic sounding.

          • Rob M

            I think thats what throws me off..sounds too clean

          • Simon PhoenixKing

            I wonder if Revenge are playing the NY on this tour. It would be great to see them.

            At least we’re getting Nifelheim and Ares Kingdom in March.

          • Rob M

            Nice..two bands I have yet to see live

        • Ignatius the Wizened

          There was a time when you could have had your say,
          Recommend some, and have your way,
          The time is nigh, you slept on it,
          Don’t like it much? Have fun, eat shit.

          • Rob M

            Yeah, thats cute..it rhymes.

            I actually did have my say, and recommended a few different bands. My tastes are not thhe same as the people who run the site. They chose who they wanted..I disagree

          • Ignatius the Wizened

            Look out! dear friends he disagrees,
            He spends his nights upon his knees,
            At work with mouth, he pleasures all,
            Of truckers junk, both big and tall.

          • You’ve gotten awfully tawdry, Ignatius

          • Ignatius the Wizened

            Tawdry tawd, I mock you all,
            Great you are before the fall.
            You feareth not for what will be,
            A vicious tumble for all to see.

          • Commander Shepard

            Ignatious the wizened thought he knew it all.
            He spoke of things both big and small,
            But of one subject he knew nothing at all
            THE TOILET DOTH NEVER FALL!

          • Ignatius the Wizened

            I needest rest, to sleep I go,
            To pound a pig and slap a ho,
            I’ll wake in the morning time,
            And bring you all some cheery rhyme.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            You didn’t make me one. I’m sad.

          • Commander Shepard

            Your excuse is sleep,
            but secretly you weep,
            from the stink of your defeat,
            Commander Shepard’s badassery you reap.

          • M Shadows!

            Commander Shepard is pretty hot,
            an a7x fan she is probably not!
            Quite the avatar she has got,
            Metaphysical Anus eats snot!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Ignatius is a wizened man
            Hair of black and skin of tan
            Thought the Toilet would fall
            It Never happened. Never happened at all

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            When are you going to do a poem about me?

          • Though a janitor thou mayest be,
            The skills required are far from thee.
            If thou couldst truly clean up waste,
            You’d readjust your music taste.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Wait a second, you’re not Ignatius!

          • Rekt

          • Scrimm

            MY FUCKING HERO

          • J.R.

            tippidy tip top kek

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Good question. I still want my poem.

          • I don’t know whether to tell you to stop being a dick or to be impressed by how fast you churn out these haikus or whatever.

          • Rob M

            Ive got to admit..that is rather impressive

          • Ignatius the Wizened

            Of Bauer’s he is worst of lot,
            His thought and brain doth stink of rot.
            He consumeth all that maketh sick,
            He bringest tech and choke on dick.

          • Commander Shepard

            TEE HEHEHEHEHEHEEEE

          • I can’t even be mad, too impressed

          • BEACH HOUSE!!!

    • Simon PhoenixKing

      Whoa. Where have YOU been?

      • Rob M

        I usually pop in and out on the site..depends on what theyre writing about. Holidays kind of throw me off as well

        • Simon PhoenixKing

          Ah gotcha.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan

    Damn. I’m going to have to listen to these guys if they’re that heavy and rage filled.

  • Billy Bill Birry

    at the graves broke up like a year ago

    • DDubya.

      Dang. Well, I guess it’s good they didn’t win, eh?

      • Billy Bill Birry

        yeah pretty much. we weren’t very good anyway.

        • DDubya.

          Well, we still seemed to like it. 🙂

  • Ugh I love that Mikhail album

  • Ignatius the Wizened

    To fend off cheats, I’ve made profile,
    World will know a realest wile.
    Toilet ov Hell, toilet o’ turds,
    I flush you all, a sheeple hurd.

    • Commander Shepard

      That one was pretty weak.

    • Tyree

      Don’t blow your wad all in one post fucker.

      • Ignatius the Wizened

        Spends his nights hard at drink,
        Tyree knows not what he thinks.
        Blasting drums, composing grind.
        I’ll fuck him up, beat his behind.

        • Scrimm

          BOOOOOOOOOOO

          • Ignatius the Wizened

            At work with shaft, he rubs the balls,
            Up and down the college halls.
            To make himself a proper dress,
            Scrimm takes the cock and swallows mess.

          • Tyree
          • Scrimm

            So witty Ignatius thinks he is
            Heard better rhymes from little kids
            Too busy with the weiner in his mouth
            His tepid poems go quickly south

          • Hey I don’t care if you pick on me but don’t pick on my friends…

            To the interrogation room you go.
            Tied up like a ho and choking on blow.
            U fucked with Jack Bauer.
            Now begins your darkest hour.

          • Scrimm

            Very nice sir.

          • Danke

          • Ignatius the Wizened

            That was pretty bad.

          • Scrimm

            That man should be a comedian.

        • Commander Shepard

          Ignatious was such a tryhard,
          too many poems had he made,
          that they began to degrade,
          as sure as his wisdom did fade.

    • Except for me,right? Because you totally like power metal, right?

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    a good sounding band—if you went in a club–and these guys were playing–you would be like “alright”–with poems and new victims of the pharmaceutical complex—who cant find real drugs—just a.d.d. medication that lied—–and took away the :”animal house”vibe from college life—just a new army of robots/ alzheimers patients—-lots of chicks in miniskirts–as well as u.s. senators open mouth kissing each other –deeply—passionately–truly /”maryland”–the heart of america—–as well as pbs corespondant zonda tidwell—talking about africa—and the poems of the mantra—and that new restaurant where the servers are doctors and they beat the customers infront of giant televisions—taco dildo

    • DeadButtDreaming

      A wild zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… has appeared.

  • FeelTheDarkness

    By the looks of these post, someone spends too much time in truck stop bathrooms.

    • Scrimm

      Hahahahahaha

    • KJM

      They paint these walls
      to hide my pen
      but The Shithouse Poet
      strikes again

  • A man among men, lucky indeed
    Who rides alone on a trusty steed
    Saddles up near the house of Nicki’s
    Buries his face in trill mammaries!

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    Note to editors and TOVH staff: your commitment to our music and blogging enjoyment is commendable!

    ToVh: “better writers, better music, better esprit de corps…BRAVO!” Papa Emitrius

    PS: Can we get to New Jersey soon please! Thx. TTDR Jersey Clown!

  • Very impressive, don’t think they’ll be unsigned for very long.

  • Lacertilian

    Fuck, now I’m torn between these guys and Bummer.
    Both killer unsigned bands though.

    • Commander Shepard

      Why not both?

      • Lacertilian

        There can only be one.

        • Commander Shepard

          There can only be one upvote for you, though I would have given more 🙁

          • Lacertilian

            AAARRRRGGHHHHHH