The Best Band in Indiana is Thorr-Axe
Dawn stretches across the battlefield. The dead litter the field, a grim warning to those encamped on either side of the plain. Another day of glorious battle awaits. As the drums of war begin to direct thousands of feet towards certain death, your nation’s mightiest heroes arrive in a sudden explosion of lightning and fury.
Without waiting for anyone to regain their composure at their arrival, the savage warriors immediately charge deep into enemy ranks, eviscerating all who stand before them. Flesh is wrought clean from bone. Agonizing screams of pain and terror waft through the air as the miasma of pain slowly envelopes the enemy army, and they begin to break.
They aren’t fast enough. From a cloudless sky, lightning strikes the ground just as it erupts into bellowing spouts of fire, earth, and gore. The warriors will stop at nothing until the last enemy soldier relinquishes his final breath. In what seems like a few moments, the entire opposition has been devastated, brutalized, and utterly defeated. The fog of war from thousands of dying men collapsing to the ground amid bouts of steel, thunder, and fire surrounds the opposite side of the field, and your only clue to the outcome is the distinct sounds of steel meeting flesh.
Whether it was minutes or hours, you’ll never know. Everyone under your banner holds their breath as they wait for the dust to settle. From the fog emerges gore covered warriors. None of the blood is their own. Tendrils of smoke swirl around them as they swagger back to their own camp, intent on celebrating the great victory they have won.
HAIL, WARRIORS! HAIL THE MIGHTY THORR-AXE, THE BEST UNSIGNED BAND OF INDIANA!
If you don’t know what Thorr-Axe sounds like yet, imagine if Skeletonwitch and Twisted Tower Dire had a love child together who grew up to be a bit of a stoner who loves Pentagram. What you get is an inferno of fierce riffs backed by husky vocals slaughtering posers with an axe blazing with lightning. Their debut album, “Wall of Spears,” was released back in 2011, and is full of infectious groovy riffs, mesmerizing leads, and wimp destroying anthems of pure power. Don’t misunderstand me, this is not power metal, but the raw energy emanating from the music will goad even the weakest of men and women into a glorious march for Valhalla.
You won’t find a moment to rest here. The debut album is filled to bursting with riffs. The bass and guitar tones perfectly complement the style, delivering a sludgy, yet crunchy bite. The vocals are a screamed/yelled harsh that viciously bark the battle cries of a mighty warrior. The drums pound away with plenty of dank fills and rhythms that can quickly yet deftly change the mood/feel of the riffs. All of these together create a huge, crushing sound, which is more impressive considering it was recorded with only three members!
If you’re a fan of riff heavy doom/stoner with harsh vocals, this album will kick you in the balls. Alternatively, fans of more melodic blackened thrash or American style power metal will also find plenty to enjoy here. This is a band you should be watching. Their sophomore album, “Gates of Winter,” is currently set to be released January 13th, 2015. If their debut is any indication, it very well may be a 2015 list topper.
[Editor’s Note: Due to extreme idiocy (my own), I failed to notice that ILLINOIS comes before INDIANA. This will be resolved with our next entry. xoxo Joe]
The Toilet ov Hell is on an absurd quest to find the best unsigned band in each state of this glorious union. The purpose? To shine the spotlight on bands that deserve more exposure. Also, we’re going to determine once and for all the greatest state in the nation. Each state winner is decided by a collection of 25 judges. After we’ve announced the winner of each state, we’re gonna throw them all in a winner-take-all bracket and leave the votes up to you. Who will be the best unsigned band in the United States? Which state is superior? We can’t wait to find out.
Alabama — Phylum
Alaska — Terraform
Arizona – Take Over And Destroy
Arkansas – Torii
California – Destroy Judas
Colorado – The Sleer
Connecticut – Autumn’s Eyes
Delaware – Sloss
Florida – Capracide
Georgia – Lost Hours
Hawaii – Darkest Path
Idaho – Rotten Hand