The Best Band in Colorado is The Sleer

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Who will it be?

Back in August we asked you to help us find the best unsigned bands in America. After listening to hundreds of submissions, we’ve finally narrowed down our pick for the most Rocky Mountain-est state in this grand nation. Today, we proudly present our pick for the best unsigned band in Colorado: The Sleer.

Take a big breath of that fresh mountain air. Let the frosty mist fill your lungs as you survey the lofty mountain heights, ancient aspen groves, and clear blue skies. Take a dip in the plentiful pools carved out by waterfalls that relentlessly drive through the mountain passes or hike up the tallest sand dunes in North America as you hunt for shooting stars. Ah, Colorado, my home state, the crown jewel of natural beauty in this great nation. You’d think with all this natural grandeur that the Centennial State would be a fertile breeding ground for folky black metal. However, our Rocky Mountain champion happens to be a monster of an entirely different nature, a tentacled, oily beast seemingly dredged up from the abyssal depths of some great lake. The Sleer have risen from the murky bottom of some unseen mountain reservoir with an ancient, boundless hunger for souls.

Towing the line between cavernous death metal and water-logged doom, The Sleer avoid all the nettlesome trappings and pretenses that usually hinder bands of their ilk from making memorable music. The riffs are as crushing as a landslide of granite, the drums are as constant and battering as the tides, and the vocals emanate with the ancient fury of nature scorned. In only four long tracks, this band proclaims its dominance of the natural world and slowly lumbers into the inner reaches of your consciousness, leaving a swath of destruction in its wake. But it isn’t just the foundations of the subgenre that this band nails; their music is embellished with soulful leads, moody clean verses, creepy atmospheres, and more head-banging moments than they have any right to use. The Sleer are a true monster of Biblical proportions, and it would be a crime against nature to ignore their self-titled release.

Check them out on Facebook and stream The Sleer over at Bandcamp.

Don’t believe me that The Sleer are the best thing since John Elway to come out of Denver? Hear what some of the other judges have to say:

Tyree of House Grind: “There is a layer of blackened filth that blankets a crushing melancholy on this full length that turns the listener’s blood heavy and black. The Sleer play a very gritty bluesy style of sludge mixed with a devastating, doomy, and despairing style of funeral doom. Filth and despair is the only thing that is real with The Sleer, so lifelovers be gone.”

Masterlord SteelDragon: “Feelings are for wimps, and The Sleer will gladly crush them into tiny bits for you with slow-burning, soul-burning Doom. It might take some time (around 40 minutes), and the process itself will be emotionally painful, but you’ll come out on the other end a cold, dead-eyed shell of a man. This is crushingly dark stuff.”

Joe Thrashnkill: “I didn’t mean to listen to The Sleer because their songs are really long. But I did. And I am glad. They are good.”


HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Crypticus (Denver, CO): Crypticus bring the old-school death metal violence and pummel you with some nasty Lovecraftian vibes. Succumb to the horrors over at Bandcamp.

Vimana (Denver, CO): Vimana bring the slaughter with technical precision and grinding fury. The Collapse EP will beat you about the head and neck, and you will like it. Jam it at Bandcamp.


The Toilet ov Hell is on an absurd quest to find the best unsigned band in each state of this glorious union. The purpose? To shine some the spotlight on bands that deserve more exposure. Also, we’re going to determine once and for all the greatest state in the nation. Each state winner is decided by a collection of 25 judges. After we’ve announced the winner of each state, we’re gonna throw them all in a winner-take-all bracket and leave the votes up to you. Who will be the best unsigned band in the United States? Which state is superior? We can’t wait to find out.

Previous winners:
Alabama — Phylum
Alaska — Terraform
Arizona – Take Over And Destroy
Arkansas – Torii
California – Destroy Judas

  • FALSE, THIS IS THE GREATEST UNSIGNED BAND IN COLORADO (and I’m a bad person for not throwing their name in) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJlRIUrnvtQ

    • W.

      The toilet has spoken, so silence your slanderous tongue.

    • There are many nuggets of Lolbuttz in this song. I approve!

      GL

    • Death

      • Did you expect me to not post Power Metal?

        • Death

          Sometimes you do post good stuff. ‘Tis not one of those days.

  • Tyree

    Very well written Dubya. One day I’ll be as good or gooder thenn u @ riteing.

    This band though… Mmm Mmm!

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MrACoDWlcDw/Tw4rz3ShPfI/AAAAAAAAAm8/3DNCzyi4mRk/s1600/old-spice-guy-nodding.gif

    • W.

      Tyree, your post on Yhdarl actually really inspired me to step up my own game. That was a fantastic effort.

      • Tyree

        Strange, it was easier for me to write that than it was for my normal band descriptions.

        • You’re a Romantic, through and through!

          • Tyree

            Darling, my dear buttercup. “I see flesh in flames, and the flesh of others is melting into mine.”

          • Not romantic, Romantic!

          • Tyree

            No. Romantic!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I used to be into the whole New Romantic movement that happened in the 80’s. I got over that phase pretty quickly though I still like Adam Ant somewhat.

          • KJM

            ‘Kings Of The Wild Frontier’ is classic.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I loved that album as well as the Spandau Ballet albums. I hate Boy George and Culture Club though.

          • KJM

            I didn’t really care for most of that style/era. Adam & The Ants were a big exception.

    • Is this you Tyree? You would be a black-black-metal-head if so!

      GL

  • NefariousDude

    Hopefully this search for the best unsigned band in America doesn’t give us a bunch of crusty blackened deathy doomy bands as the kids these days are wont to do. As much as I dig all that stuff I feel like the picks are already getting saturated with the genre

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      Pretty sure there will be some different stuff soon. Hold on to them britches.

      • NefariousDude

        Britch suspenders ENGAGE!

    • We’ve got a nice variety of stuff coming for ya.

      • NefariousDude

        I figured. My faith in the toilet is unflushable

    • Edward Meehan

      “as the kids are wont to do”

      >>>>>>

    • Don’t worry your pretty little head or your weird, be-pushupped manbreasts!

      • NefariousDude

        Pushupped? Honey I’m allllll natural

        • W.

          You’re a BBW FBL.

          • NefariousDude

            ~And ur a perv~

    • TrickleDownTacoRiff

      Agreed..the all things black worship runs deep these days…really deep, too freeking deep.

      • Xan

        It’s because of the saturation of the happy music. Bring us blackened tar to coat our angry souls.

        • TrickleDownTacoRiff

          ok fair enough…count me in!

    • JWG

      I’d kind of like to see a successful hybrid of doom and tech death.

      Even with the contradictory stuff intact.

    • crazytaco_12

      I’ve been pretty pleased with the picks so far, some post metal stuff, i think some doom, black, even a thrash band got in.

  • KJM

    Crypticus are my pick of the three bands listed.

  • I just cannot get into black metal. I keep trying, but I have not been able to do it guys.

    That and I am really into the new Whitechapel LP. What is wrong with me?

    GL

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      I don’t like Whitechapel either but I have heard good things about their new LP. I also can’t get into some black metal bands but I can get into bands like Mayhem, Celtic Frost and Emperor.

      • Maybe if I as the kids are wont to do things may start sounding better. I guess time will tell.

        GL

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan

          I’m sure it will. Just don’t turn Lynch Mob into a band like Of Mice & Men or Asking Alexandria. Even though they may sell enough albums to get in the top 10 on the Billboard charts you don’t want to make music that bad just to become famous again.

          • Lynch Mob>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> thoseturds

            GL

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Exactly. You don’t have to go to their level to revitalize your band, you can take cues from bands who are current and amazing yet unknown like the band above or some other doom metal act. If you can balance your signature hard rock and a genre like doom you’ll gain new fans and retain older fans without even trying.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            *Implies combining GL signature hard rock and doom metal are child’s play to combine in a manner that doesn’t alienate old fanbase and gains new fans, walks away yawning*

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I didn’t finnish that sentence. He could take the hard rock guitar sound he uses, distort it quite a bit on his amp and tune down. He would still be playing hard rock but it would sound like doom metal.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            How do you finnish a sentence. I’m Finnish and I don’t know. I can finish a one though but that ain’t same. Teach me master, please.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            You did not get the joke. I was using the word in place of the word finish as a joke about your imaginary homeland.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            You good sire are mistaken. I intentionally turned your joke to serve my own ends. Thw devious bastard that I am

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Damnit!

        • NDNOvHell

          You have to BREAK THE CHAINS AROUND YOU.

          *Edit* Sorry, I had to

    • W.

      I had to find a black metal band with clean production and death metal leanings as a point of entry. keep of Kalessin did it for me.

      • I am on it W.. I will report back.

        GL

      • Keep of Kalessin was very digestible. The riffs were more captivating than I though they were going to be!

        GL

      • Paris Hilton

        Same with me. The low production of BM always kinda turned me off. My black metal tastes belong to Woods of Ypres, Ne Obliviscaris, and Anorexia Nervosa (from France, of course the most pretentious country has the best black metal). Just lol @ Burzum

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          No. Go away or I shall taunt uou a second time!

          • Paris Hilton

            Nothing can stop my hatred of Burzum and it’s racist, WOW playing, fast-food body nerd frontman.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Varg’s an asshole, but the fact will never even diminish my love for his music.

          • Paris Hilton

            Nothing wrong with that! Most of my favorite musicians are assholes too.

          • The Satan Ov Hell

            I have a nasty habit of getting really into NSBM bands, and getting really sad because they are nazis and should go hang.

      • Simon Phoenix

        Well now I want to go listen to Armada again. Thanks, Dubya.

        • W.

          You’re welcome!

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      A step down that new Whitechapel really, I admit pretty much liking the previous one.

      But I really like a good black metal band.

      • I’m right there with you. I actually really used to like Whitechapel, their self-titled is fucking fantastic. This new album, not so much. Sounds like it’s watered down into predictable deathcore cliches.

        • See the thing is, their self titled was a unexpected suprise (to me). Thats why I (originally) thought it was better than their latest. But, the latest has grown a lot on me.

          GL

        • Stockhausen

          I did get in to that self-titled, primarily for Phil’s voice. That was monstrous.

          • He’s an incredible vocalist, for sure. He’s also nailed it near-perfect the few times I’ve seen them live.

          • W.

            I really liked This is Exile and A New Era of Corruption. haven’t liked stuff too much since then.

          • Could you imagine how monsterous it would be if they had three vocalists? Three vocalists, three guitarists, a bass for good measure, and a drummer. Many wins in that equation.

            GL

          • Stockhausen

            That would start way too many trends for me to wrap my mind around. There are already way too many members in all these kid bands nowadays.

    • Death

      It was easy for me because I hate everything. Have you tried hating everything? It could work.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        Life is a good place to start hating. Amateurs might find it hard to start hate everything simultaneously. Too little lifeloving

        • Death

          Were you born in hate as well, my fellow Finn?

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Born in Finland=Born in hatred, also Born of hatred.

          • God, get a room you two.

          • Death

            Don’t be mean!

          • just be happy we’ve got TWO Finns. what are the chances?

    • Stockhausen

      I got in through some of the more post-black metal bands, who are expanding on the genre away from being overly grim and tr00, like Altar of Plagues and The Great Old Ones.

    • New whitechapel is good shit, great for the gym.

    • Every time I think I like a black metal song, I hear it again later and don’t like it anymore. It seems to be much more of an acquired taste than other genres of metal.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Well, from what you just stated. A lot.

  • this is the first one of these that I did not turn off in favor of something else.

  • The Satan Ov Hell

    Come on Bitchslicer for philly! I bet my kid Damien on it!

  • Paris Hilton

    Colorado doesn’t have much black metal despite the mountains because people there are fucked up on legal weed and Coors, there’s no time for black metal at a perpetual party.

    • Tyree

    • Buncha filthy fucking lifelovers, they are.

      • W.

        Hey, don’t insult my people!

      • Xan

        I totally read that in an English accent.

  • The Satan Ov Hell

    Guys, breaking news! The new Max Cavalera offering doesn’t suck! https://soundcloud.com/napalmrecords/cavalera-conspiracy-bonzai-kamakazi

  • Gurp

    Fuck, you really got my hopes up with that first paragraph.

  • Thanks for mentioning Crypticus!