The Best Band in Alaska is Terraform

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Who will it be?

Last month we asked you to help us find the best unsigned bands in America. After listening to hundreds of submissions, we’ve finally narrowed down our pick for the coldest state in this grand nation. Today, we proudly present our pick for the best unsigned band in Alaska: Terraform.

Many score and some odd weeks ago, the founding fathers saw fit that our nation be divided into many slices of states; not unlike a massive free-for-all of a pizza with varying geographic and economic toppings. Then they died and a bunch of weird stuff happened culminating in the addition of Alaska, the first non-contiguous state, to the union. I think we stole it from those shiftless Canadians but I’m not totally positive as I haven’t watched the History channel in a long time.

What I’m trying to say is that not every state is created equally. Some states have fruitful meadows chock-full of heavy metal flora and fauna, and some states just have endless desolate fields. Alaska is the latter. For weeks we were concerned that we wouldn’t find a single worthy representative for the largest state in the United States. Fortunately, what the state’s metal scene lacks in quantity, it more than makes up for in quality with Anchorage’s own thrashers Terraform.

There are more polished bands in Alaska, to be sure, but none of them excited our judges like the brazen thrash contained in Terraform’s small handful of rough recordings. The tracks are wild and careening thrash affairs with a pinch of death thrown in. If you’re a guitar nerd (like me), the fretwork at play will thrill you; the riffs on “Shark Bite” are savage, son. Most importantly, the songs here function as actual songs, a higher accolade than many metal bands will ever achieve. If you dig higher BPM strains of metal and you don’t mind rough recordings, you’re gonna jam on Terraform. Check it out:

Here’s what the judges had to say:

Guacamole Jim: “Right off the bat, Terraform comes out with an aggression that makes you want to punch babies–and the guitars haven’t even started. They exude an energy that instantly pulls you into the music. The raw production and somewhat loose performance, rather than hindering, aids the songs. A great high energy band!”

MoshOff: “They sound like a death metal band playing thrash, in the best way possible. Vocals aren’t typical thrash vocals (re: not fucking annoying), riffs have plenty of technical wizardry. And most importantly, the fast parts are FAST. Just as a point of reference for any thrash nerd, they remind me of Hellwitch with more coherent riffing. And the lyrics aren’t about partying, beer, moshing or thrash. They’re everything thrash should be.”

HessianHunter: “It’s party thrash with a brain.”

Go like these dudes on Facebook and say hi. If they ever hit the lower 48, I wanna thrash.

 

HONORABLE MENTION: 

Lamplighter (Anchorage, AK)

Lamplighter offer up bowel-shaking grindcore and noise that is refreshingly headbangable. Get ripped at their Bandcamp. 


The Toilet ov Hell is on an absurd quest to find the best unsigned band in each state of this glorious union. The purpose? To shine some the spotlight on bands that deserve more exposure. Also, we’re going to determine once and for all the greatest state in the nation. Each state winner is decided by a collection of 25 judges. After we’ve announced the winner of each state, we’re gonna throw them all in a winner-take-all bracket and leave the votes up to you. Who will be the best unsigned band in the United States? Which state is superior? We can’t wait to find out. 

Previous winners:
Alabama – Phylum

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • There’s another Terraform but they are S-A-W-F-T followed by chuggity-chug-chugs.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8VdU1Rv4bI&feature=youtu.be

    • Cock ov Steele

      2 brootalz

      • Xan

        lel. 2 brootalz 4 u.

        • Cock ov Steele

          Teh br00talz iz 2 much.

          • Deputy Dipshit

            Queefcore.

          • Xan

            How many levels above or below is that from Shitcore?

          • Deputy Dipshit

            I’d say they are close cousins.

          • Hail and Kill

            It’s right around the corner past the taint

          • Xan

            Don’t get me started on Prolapsecore.

    • Now this…THIS is lolbuttz.

      • The Terraform we picked should fight these dudes. Softness incarnate.

        • You might as well just drop an anvil on a pillow for the same effect.

      • Xan

        lolbuttz

        • save this one. it will come in handy a lot

          • I recently started typing lolbuttz in txt messages to my wife. She has yet to comment. I will keep you abreast of the developing situation JM

            GL

          • i started using it in every soundcloud song i listen to, at a good point in the song without many other comments.

            we’re making our mark in history

            JM

          • Xan

            When the world has become a desolate husk and only the bedouins and nomads walk the wastelands, they shall find a laptop with 1% battery remaining. They will open up the bookmarked page inscribed “lolbuttz”. This will be the legacy of Toilet ov Hell.

          • dude. bro. i’m laughing so hard. you rock.

      • Cock ov Steele

        It’s transcendental lolbuttz, as opposed to the more primitive Hyperborean lolbuttz.

        • HessianHunter

          LOLOLOL Thank you for actually remembering the content of HHH’s absurd essay. I have it saved onto my computer for posterity lulz

          • Oh lord, I have to read this now.

          • Cock ov Steele

            I read some of it, and all I could think about was having HHH sitting next to me in a classroom, and when he’s not looking I snag his little manifesto and proceed to assault it with legions of scribbled penises and lolbuttz in various fonts.

    • Hail and Kill

      Wow, what an original sound and look.

      • Br00tality>originality. That second word doesn’t even have any zeroes!

        • Stockhausen

          Don’t underestimate the ability of kids to put zeros in things.

    • those haircuts. why?

    • Simon Phoenix

      I think I found my whiff of the week here. Ugh with a side of nope.

  • Beunhaas

    I just realized that I will never be able to listen to all 50 bands along with all the other stuff I want to listen to. WHAT NOW :(:(:(:(:(:(:(

    • We’re trying to make it easy by just including a song or two for each state winner in the post. I highly recommend clicking play on these dudes.

  • Scrimm

    Would be nice to at least see the bands who were entered.

    • I had a spreadsheet with hundreds and hundreds of bands. Most of them were awful and deleted.

      • A likely story. We want transparency! Papa Joe, tear down your walls!

        #Transparency #FreeAndOpenToilet #JoeIsAFascist

        PERIOD!

        • Deputy Dipshit

          #BowlMovement

        • Stockhausen

          I’m going to ask Obama girl the truth about Joe. I bet she, like, knows this stuff, man, you know?

      • Xan

        I should have submitted my own band for North Carolina and submitted you to the torture of listening to that. We made 15 albums in one year.

        • Guacamole Jim

          LINKS

          • Xan

            I have not any. We just did it for fun. I’ve got the files one of my external drives in my stack. I’ll have to dig it out and upload some of that shit.

      • Scrimm

        I guess. We would have no idea if a band we suggested even made it on the list or was lost in the shuffle.

        • If a band was suggested in the comments or emailed to me I definitely listened to it. There were a number of bands that had to be thrown out for not having recorded material findable on the internet or for being broken up.

          • Why not just include a list of nominees for each state in each post? I don’t think any state had THAT many besides many Wisconsin or something.

          • Scrimm

            Exactly. Not trying to be a dick or anything, but still.

          • All of the bands entered or just the ones that made it to judgement?

          • Uh, I guess just the ones we actually voted on, maybe with the disclaimer that the other bands have despicable web presence.

          • Scrimm

            At least you got to vote 🙂

          • Edward Meehan

            I will say that even attempting to listen to the number of bands submitted has been a grossly large task for me, and I haven’t done any work on the project besides that. As far as the first round goes I have made decisions rather… quickly. Lol.

          • This has been a giant pain the ass. I think it’ll be worth it tho!

          • Scrimm

            I had the time and would have had the interest to help out.

    • HessianHunter

      I think the plan is to include honorable mentions (like in this post) if any of the contributors thought the band was especially cool.

      • That’s what I’d prefer to do. All killer no filler.

        • Scrimm

          Well again not trying to be a dick, but my interest has nosedived.

  • Edward Meehan

    I have a feeling the semi-finals are going to get interesting.

    • Guacamole Jim

      I’m really excited to narrow the playing field a bit and see who is able to hold up.

      • Edward Meehan

        After we narrow down the winners I will be able to give the entries more time that they deserve I am sure. The first round has been an absolute clusterfvck of making decisions about music inside of a few minutes for the busier states, lol.

  • Xan

    Thank God I’m not the only one who finds most thrash vocals to be annoying. It’s the number one reason I just can’t into Overkill. I’ve never heard more annoying thrash vocals than in that band.

    • Edward Meehan

      I don’t get the whole “retro-thrash” thing, cause isn’t retro-thrash still just thrash?

      Someone pls respond.

      Power Trip are pretty cool.

      • Cock ov Steele

        It’s a fun scene.

      • Xan

        I haven’t really listened to many modern thrash bands that are attempting to sound retro. A lot of the new wave of thrash bands seem to employ harsh vocals which I love. Condition Critical, Dust Bolt, Iron Reagan, Lich King, Toxic Holocaust, Lazarus A.D., Lost Society, Municipal Waste, Tantara, Vektor, Violator, and Warbringer are my favorites.

        • Hail and Kill

          Viktor is the shit.

        • HessianHunter

          Municipal Waste are basically the OG retro-thrash band. They sound a whole lot like 80’s crossover bands, eg. DRI and Suicidal Tendencies, just with better production. Compare that to , say Darkane, which is clearly thrash but doesn’t really sound similar to Anthrax in any way.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8owEC055p8

        • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

          Lazarus AD are the best. Especially the first album. If metallica were still good they would sound like these guys.

      • Howard Dean

        “Retro-thrash” is just thrash–genre-wise. But it is a “scene” or movement within thrash, similar to how NWOBHM was a scene, and the actual music of bands given that label is either traditional heavy metal or speed metal.

        It is basically used to label the 2000’s thrash resurgence, and the tendency for these bands to employ the typical 80’s thrash tropes–jean jackets, high tops, vests, party themes, over-the-top Satan themes, etc.

        • crazytaco_12

          It’s funny man, because I was so down for the new wave of thrash when it happened because at the time nobody seemed to actually give a shit about anything other than black or death metal. After my initial excitement, it slowly revealed itself as just an excuse for a ton of bands to make shitty butt thrash. Mind you some were good, but yeah, a ton sucked.

      • NDNOvHell

        Violator from Brazil are fuckin’ killer

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tkt99tqUwzY

    • Hail and Kill

      I picked up the new Overkill, got it cheap, the vocals are so bad it’s almost funny, almost.

      • Xan

        I like many of their riffs that they’ve composed over the years but the vocals just kill it for me. Sounds like the singer just shoved a bunch of cotton balls in his cheek and shook his head like Boss Nas from The Phantom Menace.

        • Hail and Kill

          The riffs are good. If all they sang about was partying, moshing, and metal it would be ok, but you can’t take anything seriously in that voice.

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        His voice is not too far removed from Zetro though.

        • Cock ov Steele

          Oh man that ending howl on Raise the Dead.

    • Yea overkill vocals are like nails on a chalkboard for me.

      • Xan

        I’ve always liked Testament’s vocals. Slayer’s are pretty good too until Tom just started wildly screaming on everything post Seasons in the Abyss.

    • huehuehue

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        I confess

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        DD Verni is the best bassist in thrash though. Frank bello and him are the only bassists that can be heard on thrash albums. Blitz is a great frontman though, sounds like he has swallowed a marked deck of cards and a cup of gravel.

        • Cock ov Steele

          I’ll still put Bello over Verni everyday, he shares a lot of similarities with God Harris and I hear Verni is actually a bit of a prick. That could be bobby Gustafson being bitter though.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Dumb.

  • Hail and Kill

    So the pirates playoff game is tonite at 8, so is the Rivers of Nihil and Black Crown Initiate show here in Pittsburgh. I’m tempted to dvr game and go to show, but I doubt I’ll be able to avoid finding out the end before I watch it.

    • go to the show. venue prob has a bar that will have game on, no?

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      I hope the Royals win. They deserve it after having sucked for years and years.

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    “It’s party thrash with a brain.” If the brain still functions you have not partied HARD ENOUGH.

    • Xan

      One must sever the cerebral cortex to have truly partied.

  • Howard Dean
    • Sponge Of Mystery

      Lol I love this show

      • Howard Dean

        I love this show, too. And though I like to poke fun at their antics and the way they barter, I would totally be the same way if I owned a pawn shop. You know half the people they put on the show (and probably 98% of all the people who come into the store) are there to flip things for quick cash (in order to gamble, pay off troublesome debts, or buy drugs). It’s good business to lowball and to be stern with them.

        • Just for shits n giggles I decided to stop by the shop the last time I was in Vegas. It’s in the middle of nowhere and about the size of a postage stamp.

          • Howard Dean

            Seriously? Hah! Did you see any of the characters from the show?

          • No characters, however you could buy Chumli original “art” for thousands of dollars.

          • Howard Dean

            Hahahaha. What a bunch of clowns.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            Yea, they are never there , just for the tv tapings. The multi millions they have made makes that ludicrous. Plus the store would be full of tourists just wanting to see them and stopping business.

        • Cock ov Steele

          Have you ever seen the episode where the guy brought in the ejection seat?

          • Howard Dean

            No, I don’t think so.

        • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

          Hardcore pawn can be pretty funny too, les is even stingier than rick though.

    • Mother Shabubu III

      Or one of twelve shows about buying and selling cars. Fuck TV. Hipsters do have a point. There is nothing worth watching on that ol’ idiot box.

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      Its a great show but now they have a game show called pawnography that pits rick, corey and chumlee against 2 contestants. The prizes are stuff from the shop. It’s hosted by comic ? chrisopher titus (he used to have a sitcom on fox) Anyways its totally shitty and too much overexposure. It comes on after the 2 epidodes of pawn stars and there is 2 episodes of the game show after that. Bad, really bad.

  • Simon Phoenix

    Yeah, Alaska was looking real bleak there for a while. But this band came out of nowhere and are legitimately boss.

    MURDERDEATHRASH!!!

    • For real dude. I thought the state was gonna be at total wash but damn these tracks rule.

  • Stockhausen

    Mmmm. This is tasty.

    • Stockhausen

      Oh, and Russia owned Alaska before us. Then we swooped in and saved the day.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Good stuff, makes me want to get shitfaced and [play bridge at the Gentlemen’s Club] all night long.

  • Gurp

    http://nottmusicofficial.bandcamp.com/

    Nott is also from Alaska…
    Probably should have submitted him.

  • crazytaco_12

    Glad to see a thrash band makd it to the finals, even if it was in a metal-barren state! This shit’s right up my alley.