Take to the Skies with Ostrichcopter

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Do you remember that old arcade game Joust? You played as a ruby-visor wearing Donald Blake lookalike riding a giant ostrich. Your goal? Smite your enemies and throw down their corpses from the skies. The whole premise was ridiculous. Everyone knows ostriches can’t fly.

Until now.

Back in 2013, some enterprising freak by the name of Bart Jansen decided to live out his Joust fantasies and to create his own winged mount with which to strike terror into the hearts of his enemies. His solution: purchase the body of a dead male ostrich, stuff it with enough electronics to make Victor von Doom blush, and send his abomination soaring among the clouds. Ostrichcopter was born.

Jansen has a history of violating the laws of nature in ways sure to have Mary Shelley spinning in her grave. The mad genius previously converted a dead cat into a quadcopter. In fact, it was this affront to Mother Earth that gave him the idea to stuff his electronic junk inside an even bigger dead animal. As you can see in the video above, his experiment was a perverse success.

Soon our skies will be filled with the sound of rotating propellers and Nordic battle cries. I, for one, welcome our new avian overlords. For playing God with the essential salts and doing what must not be done, Mr. Jansen gets my metal salute of the month.

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  • …In Death’s Ellipsis…

    *insert witty comment and hilarious gif*

  • Joust was also one of the many clever references from the book Ready Player One, wherein the main character has to beat a boss in a game by playing Joust, who remarks that his time spent playing arcade games has paid off. The book is set in the year 2044. Ready Player One is very subtle about its influences.

  • KJM

    Dead cat, dead rat
    Think you’re an aristocrat

    • more beer

      I`m not sure how many of the youngsters here will get that reference. I certainly do though.

      • KJM

        And the monk bought lunch
        haha he bought a little!! ^_^

        • more beer

          You must not forget. This is the best part the best part the trip!

    • ME GORAK B.C.™
      • more beer

        That`s because Gorak didn`t have LSD!

        • ME GORAK B.C.™

          GORAK HAVE BEFORE!!!!!!! GORAK PREFER BEER, MR. BEER!!!!!! GORAK LOVE BEER!!!!!!!!! & USUALLY LIKE FANTOMAS OVER DOORS WHEN LSDED!!!!!

          • more beer

            Mr beer likes a lot of music when using LSD.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            GORAK UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!! BUT THINK GOOD MUSIC ALWAYS GOOD!!!!!!! NOT NEED LSDED FOR DOORS OR FANTOMAS BE GOOD LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • more beer

            So do I but sometimes LSD is fun!

      • A Dark & Curious Sausagefart

    • Kevin Nash & Friends

      Is this from Animals by Pink Floyd? I thought it was.

      • Sir Tapir The Based :]

        I may be wrong (and I probably am), but I think it’s from a Doors song

      • more beer

        The Doors the Soft Parade.

      • KJM

        Nope.

        • more beer

          The dad rock guy himself has no clue.

          • KJM

            I’m honestly surprised.

          • more beer

            So was I. All I can think is the Doors were too into drugs for him to handle. He is pretty SXE.

          • Sir Tapir The Based :]

            Doesn’t he dig Grateful Dead?

          • more beer

            I know he has said his father does. But he is kind of hippy so quite possibly so.

          • Don Henley’s Ego

            I enjoy them having grown up on them. Speaking of which it’s my dad’s birthday today.

          • more beer

            I saw them once my brothers a hippy. I must say it was the worst show experience of my whole life. A lot of fucked up things went on at that show.

          • KJM

            Fortunately nothing crazy really went down at the shows I saw.

          • more beer

            Some dude got murdered by security at the one I was at.

          • KJM

            Seen ’em with Jerry 3 times, twice without, also Garcia band twice.

          • more beer

            Once was enough for me.

          • Don Henley’s Ego

            My dad saw them at most of the Northeast shows they did from 1984 onward until Jerry died. He was at the three farewell shows in Chicago this year.

          • Don Henley’s Ego

            I enjoy The Doors but I’m not a fan of The Soft Parade album. I do enjoy their albums post-Morrison and the rest of the Morrison era albums.

          • more beer

            It is probably their most drugged out album. Probably my favorite for that reason. I never liked the post Morrison stuff. More than anything I was playing along with KJM`s original comment. Because I didn`t think a lot of the younger people here would get the reference.

          • A Dark & Curious Sausagefart

            JJD relaxing to some tunes:

            http://i.imgur.com/Bf2MUM3.gif

          • more beer

            Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • Don Henley’s Ego

            I’m dead. I have been slain.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            BEST KOREA MAN PLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • A Dark & Curious Sausagefart
    • pïgchop™
  • i cri evrytim

  • EsusMoose

    An uplifting tale of going against the odds nature has stacked against you and flying

    • CyberneticOrganism

      I’m donating my body to this guy when I die. I want to be a quadcopter too.

  • Howard Dean
  • I remember Joust. I spent about an hour and a half at a retro-arcade in Madison yesterday and actually played it a few times. Felt just like I was a kid again. Midlife Crisis/FML.

    • A Dark & Curious Sausagefart

      I remember it having some of the clumsiest controls of any game I’ve played on the NES. The bird was next to impossible to control once it got in the air.

    • more beer

      We have a bar in Denver with a couple of locations. One across the street from a venue I go to all the time. Called 1 up. They are filled with all old pinball machines and video games. Plus the craziest alcohol selection. They serve 40 ozs and all sorts of crazy things. I go there quit often before shows across the street.

      • Sounds like a cool place.

        • more beer

          It is a great place for an old guy to relive his youth.

      • Vladimir Poutine

        I used to live right near 2up, but both that and 1up were usually too crowded for comfort. I did like the drink selection, and access to Mortal Kombat was amazing, and them being right near The Summit helped, though, so I guess it evens out.

        • more beer

          So you lived near Colfax and Washington? Over near Argonaut. I go to the one across from the Summit to kill time before shows.

          • Vladimir Poutine

            Yeah, I lived at 14th and Pennsylvania. 2 blocks from Argonaut, only a few more to the Ogden. Great location. Cap Hill rules.

          • more beer

            Yea that`s an awesome neighborhood. lot`s of beautiful women around there. Argonaut is one of my favorite places. I`m over near city park not to far from there.

          • more beer

            Plus Benny Blanco`s is right there the best pizza in Denver in my opinion.

          • Vladimir Poutine

            Benny Blanco’s is awesome. I was a big fan of Fat Sully’s, but maybe it was just its proximity to The Bluebird that endeared it to me.

            Man, I need to find some decent pizza in Boston already. Fuck this.

          • more beer

            Fat Sully`s is good. But fucking expensive. I went there with my buddy ordered a large pie 3 toppings and we had 2 pints each. It was over 50 bucks. I like the biscuit place in there too. Talk to KJM he will lead you to good pizza in Boston. There haven`t been too many metal shows at the Bluebird lately. I think the last time I was there was Cattle Decapitation in January.

  • A Dark & Curious Sausagefart
  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    It’s certainly the finest ostrichcopter I’ve ever seen.

    • more beer

      Besides being the only one?

      • A Dark & Curious Sausagefart

        RIP, Tacocopter. What would have been the greatest invention of all time, even more than penicillin, internet porn and chest hair.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQYD4zrwrN8

        • more beer

          A drone that delivers tacos made by the CIA.

      • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

        I see them all the time!
        …in my dreams…

        …they… they HAUNT me…

        (‘O_o’)

  • KJM

    Tastes good, man…

  • Don Henley’s Ego

    I’m amazed. Strawbs is coming to my area next May. They are a progressive folk rock band that Rick Wakeman was in before he joined Yes. They never come to the US but they’re coming to my area and doing an electric show and an acoustic show.

    • Dubzlinger, Malandro Slayer

      Why’d you make a new profile?

      • Don Henley’s Ego

        I’m retiring the Kevin Nash profile for a little while. This will replace it until I decide to bring the other one back.

    • more beer

      Dammit Janitor Jim if you change your name. Leave some clue as to your identity! But I should have known since it`s the name of a washed up rock star.

      • Don Henley’s Ego

        Don Henley isn’t washed up. He has a new solo album coming out apparently.

        • more beer

          It will sell tens of copies.

          • Don Henley’s Ego

            Remember, his solo albums used to be popular and he doesn’t need money considering he charges insane ticket prices with The Eagles.

          • more beer

            The key words are used to be popular. He has to charge tons of money for Eagles tickets. All of his fans are dying off.

          • Don Henley’s Ego

            They are. I’m a fan but I would never pay the amount they charge to see them.

          • more beer

            I paid 99 bucks for California Death Fest in October. That is probably the most I`ve ever paid for a show. But it`s 3 days and 30 bands. What they charge they should play to empty seats.

          • A Dark & Curious Sausagefart

            But what if it REALLY is their final tour again?

    • Sir Tapir The Based :]

      Strawbs has toured in the US before, JJD. You’re supposed to be the dad rock expert.

      • Don Henley’s Ego

        When? I don’t remember the last time they came here.

        • Sir Tapir The Based :]

          You weren’t alive back then.

          • Don Henley’s Ego

            Well that means they haven’t been here in many years. I shall see them and I will enjoy it.

  • A Dark & Curious Sausagefart