Sunday Sesh: The May Day Edition

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Hey gang, it’s May Day. Maybe you’re a Northern Hemisphere pagan celebrating the rites of spring. Maybe you’re a worker celebrating your Engels-given right to labor as you evolve from ape to man. Today, all are welcome.

Historically, May Day was a celebration of springtime fertility that involved crowning a May queen, dancing around a Maypole, and in some cases gathering a may basket of flowers and sweets to leave on a neighbor’s doorstep. One of the earliest incarnations of the May Day celebration is Walpurgisnacht, a celebration of the Eve of the Feast of St. Walpurga; the pagan traditions are also known as Hexennacht (and may be celebrated April 30), though many of the festivities are the same. It is a time of thankfulness for the bounty of spring, and as such, I give to you a celebration of the bounty of heavy metal.

However, May Day took on a distinctly different meaning after the Haymarket riot in Chicago in 1886. Laborers had gathered in Haymarket Square on May Day to show their support for workers on strike; unfortunately, the peaceful proceedings turned violent as a dynamite bomb was hurled at police officers attempting to break up the proceeds. Several anarchists were arrested for the deadly bombing, though none of the arrested were guilty of actually deploying the explosive, and many consider the trial a grievous miscarriage of justice. Although the event initially caused a setback for labor unions lobbying for the 8-hour workday, it actually bolstered resistance to employer oversight and helped codify the labor movement in the United States, hence the date’s ultimate selection as International Workers’ Day. Today, you have the right to celebrate the hard labor of your heavy metal and punk forefathers.

So, laborers and pagans, unite. Share the fruit of your looms and loins with us in the comments below.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Can’t talk about how pagan celebrations without linking Winterfylleth. Well you can, but fuck you I’m doing it anyway.
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o6aACrnFMTY

  • more beer

    I’m not feeling the rites of spring since it’s been snowing since Thursday.

  • EsusMoose

    It’s cloudy and I’m exhausted https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr9cBIBbdwM

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      NO ANIME (because, tentacles)!!!!

      • EsusMoose

        You wouldn’t know anime if Hank Hill slapped your propane tank on its bottom.

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    Good article as usual! I’ve read a lot on Chicago history, but never read much on the Haymarket Riots. My general knowledge of Chicago history doesn’t tend to go before 1930 or so.

  • as a lifelong laborer, i support any day where you can throw dynamite at police

    • Max

      As an occasional service-industry worker, I support any day where you can throw dynamite at customers.

      • cops are often customers in my job, so thats fine

        • Óðinn

          Dunkin’ Donuts?

  • EsusMoose

    As I’ve started watching drunk history on hulu this last week this episode which I think was the second is applicable https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPcyHgPRF2k

    • there are some funny eps of that show, but i feel like its heavily edited, and they have to splice in people telling the story later because they get too drunk

      • EsusMoose

        Yeah, I enjoy the cuts to the more drunkenly gone storytellers. I know one episode in season 2 had them say it’s been 45 minutes when the entire section is only 8-10, so I assumed they had to edit/let the drunk person attempt to live.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        It all looks fake to me

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Ever seen How Beer Saved The World?

        • more beer

          It’s true.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Yep! I thought it was a joke when I first saw the show, but it did make a lot of good points on how it pushed agriculture, politics and technology forward.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Kinda ironic that they named The Haymarket Center, a drug and alcohol rehab center downtown, after that incident.

      • EsusMoose

        Huh never knew that, seems a rather poor choice of naming

  • guise i’m tired AF from playing Guitar Hero late last night (lots of Van Halen, Rush, and a little King Crimson). but none of this is going to matter when Trump (essentially The Mule) takes over as President and the Seldon Plan no longer applies when predicting the course of history…

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      I could never play guitar hero. Pretty weird since I play guitar and games, but I can’t play guitar hero to save my life.

    • i dont know why anyone hasnt seen the writing on the wall yet. Shillary was ordained since she lost in 2008

      • more beer

        We are fucked.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Yup! The further this goes along, the more it reminds me of the presidential race from Frisky Dingo.

          • A.P.

            Bracing for Ballocaust

        • yep, prepare for more Reaganist trade deals, war in Syria, invasions into privacy, and more corporate power

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Just like now (except for the war in Syria part)!

          • pretty much.

          • more beer

            Like I said. We are fucked. It doesn’t matter which side wins the results are the same.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            I don’t think Hillary will be as bad as Trump, but she’s definitely not much better. It’s like comparing the taste of dog shits and hippo shits. Trump pretty much wants to turn the US into North Korea or Turkmenistan, or Russia at the very least. Hillary will at least pretend to be diplomatic, even if it’s with her usual shit eating grin.

          • more beer

            I’m still voting for Gary Johnson. Fuck both parties.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™
          • more beer

            Yes I did!

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            No idea who that is. Lol, at first I thought he was a blues guitarist.

          • more beer

            That’s because you only know what the mainstream media wants you to know. Google him. He is a better choice than any of the others.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            He won’t win, but at least you’d be able to vote in good conscience, rather than the usual ‘lesser of two evils’ spiel.

          • more beer

            Not unless something goes horribly wrong for both major parties. Or if by November everyone has finally had enough of the bullshit. Which won’t happen.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™
          • Óðinn

            I’m gonna hold my nose and vote for Hillary. I definitely would have preferred Bernie over Hillary, but Trump is grossly unqualified. I wouldn’t want Trump in charge of the military.

    • Hubert

      I got that reference.

      I’m a cool goat.

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        I got that reference but haven’t actually read the books ’cause I suck.

  • Eliza

    Usually, I look forward to Labor day because it’s like a one day vacation, but this year it is on a Sunday, so it’s kinda wasted.

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Here’s a new demo from Las Vegas, Nevada slamming-goregrind band Coagulated Innards Collapsing Mold-Infected Torsos in a Grotto Below the Sewer Feeding Through Umbilical Cords Extracted from Stillborn Fucks Infected Via Sexual Pathogen, or C.I.C.M.I.T.I.A.G.B.T.S.F.T.U.C.E.F.S.F.I.V.S.P. for short…
    http://cicmitiagbtsftucefsfivsp.bandcamp.com/album/demo-2016

    • Eliza

      With a name like that, you know they’re destined for glory.

      • destined for me never to even click on it

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Probably another band that spent way more time on their name than actually making music (Homophobic Fecalphiliac, anyone?)

          • Eliza

            I don’t know Homophobic Fecalphiliac, but I have a feeling I should be glad because of that.

          • doesnt that band name just scream ‘higher order thinking’

          • Eliza

            Anyone who would use the term “fecalphiliac” to name the band they’re in indeed has a special kind of thinking.

          • more beer

            Only because Smeared In Shit. Was already taken.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Definitely not missing anything. Very sloppy, generic slam band.

          • Eliza

            If it’s anything like these other guys with the long name I won’t bother to write, then I’ll pass.

        • Eliza

          I did just our of morbid curiosity. The music is not as amazing as I hoped it’d be.

          • im just gonna assume its goregrind made by 14 year old suburban kids

          • Eliza

            That what they should’ve written in the tags for the album.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Or a pornogrind band put together by a 45 year old, overweight, drunken creepy uncle with far too much of a porno collection. (Wait, did I just accidentally describe Axl Rosenberg?!)

          • in a couple years that could be you bro

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            GAH!!!!!

          • Eliza

            Or it could be a 45 year old, overweight, drunken creepy uncle that pretends he’s a 14 year old in a goregrind band.

          • classic

          • more beer

            Those are kids. I would hope a 45 year old would recognize. People need to remember the name of your band. No one should have to study the name like they are preparing for a test. Promoters don’t have time for that nor do labels. Merch how do you fit that on a shirt or patch? Stickers would take up your entire bumper. The name of that band is a stupid business model.

          • Eliza

            But it sounds so rad!

          • more beer

            But I couldn’t remember the name of the band 15 seconds after reading it. Yea it’s a rad way to never play a show or make any money.

          • Eliza

            XD I was just kidding. I don’t think I can pronounce half the words in their name correctly.

          • more beer

            It’s all good.

          • Eliza

            Yeah, it’s not like I use any of these words on a regular basis.

          • more beer

            Me either. Or at least not together.

          • Eliza

            I’m sorry for this, but it’s “neither”.

          • Eliza still hasnt learned to speak American

          • Eliza

            No, but it doesn’t seem that hard.

          • lol

          • Eliza

            Let me try: Ain’t that right buddy! Now let’s go get hotdawgs, I’m reeeal hungrey!

          • good job,now i could go for some hotdogs

          • Eliza

            I’ve had hotdogs a couple of times. They’re better with ketchup than with mustard.

          • don tell kju

          • Eliza

            I promise I won’t.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Hmmmmmmmmmm, nope.

          • Eliza

            Truth be told, it depends on how good the mustard and ketchup are as well.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Good point!

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            And venues will simply skip over putting their names on flyers, especially since there’s virtually no chance that they’ll ever headline.

            “Live, tonight! X, Angra, some other band with a short name……. and opening act…….. ummmmmmmmm fuck it, we’re not printing this shit”

          • more beer

            Fuck it they are not playing. Names too long people need to know who they are seeing.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            If they do get to play, the venue might just make a separate flyer for them, and stick it right behind the flyer for the other bands, where no one can see it. Imagine if someone actually likes after the show and tries to recommend it to someone, only to forget the name (Google ain’t gonna do shit for you at that point).

          • more beer

            How the fuck do you even make a logo for that?

          • Eliza

            They can just use the initials, but even then it’s too long.

          • more beer

            I couldn’t remember that either. Plus who wants to explain what that means every time someone asks.

          • Eliza

            I’m pretty sure nobody would stay to hear the whole name.

          • more beer

            Most people would be disgusted.

          • Eliza

            Just as disgusted if they saw the cover for that album. The fact that some parts are censored makes it somehow even worse.

          • more beer

            Bandcamp censored it not them.

          • Eliza

            It makes sense. I don’t think any of the people in that band would’ve figured out that leaving something to the imagination can be better in some cases.

          • have to have an imagination first

          • more beer

            I think it is safe to say. They haven’t figured out ife nor life’s mysteries.

          • Eliza

            Or how to make decent music.

          • i would be embarassed to have to tell someone i was listening to that

          • more beer

            The only redeeming thing is. You would just say I can’t remember the name of the band.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Nah, everyone would either be over at the bar during their 8 minute long set, or out in the parking lot getting high while waiting for the headlining acts.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Simple. Just jumble the initials together into unreadable black metal font:

            http://cdn.restaurantdiscountwarehouse.com/images/large/lg_ejsp300.jpg

          • more beer

            So steel wool?

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            That or a pile of sticks. As long as it’s illegible, it works.

          • more beer

            No one can even remember it. So I guess it doesn’t matter.

          • dope logo

          • more beer

            And doubles as screen for a crack pipe.

          • bonus

          • brokensnow

            Brutal.

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            I’d be fairly surprised if this band has played anywhere outside of their basement/bedroom/studio…

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            Nah, they’re not too great. The only reason I posted a comment about them at all is because of their ridiculously long and terrible band name.

          • Eliza

            It’s good that you did, I had a fun time ridiculing it.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    ‘I’m not a fascist, I’m a priest. Fascists go round dressing in black and telling people what to do, whereas priests…. Uh, I mean, more drink!’

  • Spring my ass, it’s still fucking 40 degrees.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    That’s it, I’m going to convert to paganism just because it’s infinitely cooler-sounding.

  • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

    The junebugs rattle and roll around the old maypole…

    https://youtu.be/E8RPxywcem0

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    Today’s top story: Man in hedgehog suit puts a fake bomb made of chocolate on himself, threatens to blow up a TV station, and gets taken down by a police sniper (after several failed attempts).

    https://i.imgflip.com/13btah.gif

    http://www.foodbeast.com/news/chocolate-bomber/

    • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

      Ouch. That looked to be straight in the throat, better hope he’s still alive.

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Yeah, he survived. It was a bean bag to the throat, which probably would’ve killed him if it weren’t for the padding in the costume.

      • more beer

        This is America even if they killed him. They would have called it a clean kill. Because of the bomb threat.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Has anyone done a wellness check on Ron Jeremy since the incident?

          • more beer

            He will show up somewhere.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            *wipes sweat from brow*

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            In other news: It’s that time of the week where Wes Scantlin (Puddle Of Mudd) gets arrested yet again. This time, he got busted by his bail bondsman and the cops in the middle of a concert.

            *cue the ‘wah wah wah’ trumpet sound*

          • more beer

            How many more months on earth do you think he has?

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            He’ll probably kick the bucket in 2017. 2016’s death pool is strictly reserved for the talented, and beloved legends it seems.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Listening to Ageless Oblivion, playing Tetris and generally mooching around the interwebs. Idly searching for more proggy or sci fi themed death or otherwise extreme metal. Standard sort of pleasant Sunday afternoon.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I have work from 2 to 6. Until then I’m eating lunch and listening to my music.

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      What are you listening to?

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        WASP, the new Rob Zombie and a bluegrass version of Tommy.

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Bluegrass Tommy? Link?

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’ll have to find a stream of it. It’s from a band called The Hillbenders

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Can anyone recommend a decent turntable?

    • what is your budget

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        See that’s the thing, I don’t really have one. I’ve asked my parents for one for my birthday so not a lot of money.

        • it is hard to recommend a brand new TT under 300.

          i would go looking about for refurbished, older ones.

          • the Audio Technica 120 is a general starting place.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            The annoying thing is, I found a Dual CS-505 in the cellar with a Denon receiver but my dad sold it and kept the money.

          • ouch

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Are technics any good?

          • i own a Technics SL3300

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            I just won the bid on a Technics SL-BD22.

          • im sure it will serve you well

    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      I have a vintage Onkyo and a portable Crosley cruiser that has a built in preamp that I bought at target for $60. I use it more than the fancy wheel

      • Elegant Gazing Globe

        This is pheavy on the crosley

        • Dave Vincent’s Perm

          How is the earache vinyl? I’ve been told by someone within the music industry that earache went as cheap as they could for vinyl pressing.

          • Elegant Gazing Globe

            I hear much more natural sounds on this record than I do on my Giant Records CD from 95. Pete’s feet actually sound pretty natural, the guitars are upfront and thick, and the vox are right in the middle. It sounds good to me

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Sounds good. I was just asking because they have a shitload of Earache vinyl down at the record shop.

          • Elegant Gazing Globe

            I have several Earache records and they all sound just fine to me.

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        You could send me the onkyo one. I know someone who can, uh, dispose of it safely.

        • Elegant Gazing Globe

          NOPE

  • CT-12

    Seeing Napalm Death tonight, feels right for the day, though not looking forward to heading down to Seattle. The uber-intellectual May Day protesters usually just end up destroying working people’s property while complaining about “the man” screwing them over, all in some attempt to fulfill the aimless goal of what’s now basically a Hallmark holiday. Oh joy…

    • more beer

      I saw them on Wednesday It was a good show. Even if I found Melt Banana pretty unbearable. It will be worth dealing with a bunch of idiots. Don’t miss the Melvins their set was excellent.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      All while they shuffle into the nearest Starbuck’s, thinking of ways of how to stick it to big corporations.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      Revolution is such a bourgeois game.

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      MELVINS!

  • JWEG

    I am hopeful that I will be going home today.

    This has been a real waste of a weekend finding no signs for my symptoms, so I might as well check out of the hospital and home monitor (since all the potentially serious stuff got ruled out).

    Speaking of work, I definitely lost a few weeks worth of ‘high’ productivity as things built toward Thursday’s calamity. But the last few days have been a total bust.

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    News You Can Use: Tengger Cavalry released a new official video a few hours ago.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cUl-exKYeg&list=TLdhJa0TeTjrwwMTA1MjAxNg&index=1

    • Eliza

      I like the song and the cover.

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Haven’t listened to the song just yet. Doing that after I finish up this Eisfabrik CD.

        • Eliza

          It’s a pretty epic sounding track.

          • i believe they are playing here soon

          • Eliza

            Don’t miss them if the come to your area.

          • yep June 02. at my favorite bar too

          • Eliza

            Awesome!

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Just listened to it, and goddamn it IS epic! And they definitely improved the production. Sucks, though, that I was supposed to interview them, they said yes, and never replied back to my questions. I checked back and no reply. Oh well.

          • Eliza

            Maybe they’re just assholes.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Most likely not, but I dunno.

          • Eliza

            It’s strange, to say the least. Have you considered trying to interview them again?

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Nah. I have other bands to interview. Not going to waste effort on that one again.

          • Eliza

            Can’t wait for that!

  • RJA
  • RJA

    first come –
    MURG – “Varg & Bjorn”
    records.eisenton.de/yum quqj-6sp6

  • Janitor Jim Duggan
  • Hans Müller

    uhh Anarchy and stuff. I think.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQUQmv0VpEY

  • brokensnow

    Freedom and stuff! Anarchy! free stuff! …….and Beach Boys……
    https://youtu.be/AEGH0DPANlU

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    Our national nightmare is now over: Deep fried mayo, because ‘Murica!

    http://www.friedmayo.com/index.htm?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link

  • Stockhausen

    You triggered my Tom Waits reflex. He mentions the Maypole at :42, whatever the wtf a Maypole is.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0kruB1_-9Q

  • Steve Holt!

    _____ ____!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      STEVE HOLT!

  • tertius_decimus

    Dudez, you’re awesome! Thanks alot for mentioning Hyperion! Ton of drive, shitload of relentless power.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvxl2ZScfTc

    On a side note: finished my 300 km brevet yesterday. I got lost 3 times during the ride, so the route extended to 364 km and some guy from leader group joked about my inability to finish 1st on public. They released this shit on YouTube. Fuck you! It’s not a race. It’s friendly ride. What’s the point to brag or to throw cheap thrills at anyone? Having powerful legs, I can kick anyone’s ass on flat, but I’m not a climber. This route has many steep climbs up to 15%, so it’s easy task to overtake me for many fairly less strong riders and again, brevet isn’t a race. Those wannabe TdF-winners are annoying.

    Me @ 5:39 in white Team Sky jersey.

    https://youtu.be/DjHXjYug9ZU

    • Fuck those guys that ruins the fun, man!

      Enjoy that Hyperion, one of the true ripping records this year!!

      • tertius_decimus

        Second day on rotation non-stop. Incredible stuff.

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls