Sunday Sesh: Let’s Get Ignorant and Devolve into an Army of Gastropods

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There’s a lot of anger in this country. Let’s work it out in a violent frenzy of slime and external digestion.

France’s Gastropode isn’t the first gastropod-themed band this blog has covered, but they may be the most ridiculous. The quintet, which features only bass guitar/percussion and four vocalists(!), describe last year’s record, Raw Snails Army, pretty aptly. “No guitar, no vocal effects, just heavy bass and lack of IQ.” The lack of IQ is apparent; across these 35 goregrind tracks that occasionally dip into brutal territory, there’s not a whole lot of melody, rhythmic variance, or intelligent song structure. What the band lacks in highfalutin artistry, though, they more than compensate with neanderthal bass riffs, chugs, and bowel-shaking growls. What is surprising, though, is the claim of no vocal effects. Amid the pig squeals, psychotic school-teacher shrieks (as heard in “Mon Ténia S’appelle Willy”), and Flava Flav-esque “Errrrrrrrrrrrs” (heard in the delightfully-titled “A Brutal Beneficial Anal”) are some absolutely disgusting growls and belches. Seriously, just listen “Change de Trou Ça Fume.” I have a hard time believing that those vomit sounds aren’t pitch-shifted, but well, I don’t know why I a rational person would make up sounding like a backed up septic system. Might as well take Gastropode at their word and get down in the primordial slime with them.

If you prefer your ignorance with a greater quotient of slams, perhaps Nervectomy will be more your speed. Look, I’m going to be honest. There’s way better slam than this out there. But I have yet to hear better slug-themed slam than what Nervectomy throws down with 2015’s Slam Slugs from Outta’ Space. After a delightful audio sample of military units trying to fight off a monstrous creature, we’re suddenly thrown into the melee with horrible, bile-spewing grunts, hokey polka beats, and totally out-of-place solos. If that sounds stupid, well, it is. Very stupid. But sometimes you need to get stupid, and Nervectomy ticks off all the right boxes. Sci-fi/horror audio samples? Check. Absolutely atrocious trash snare sound? Check. Pig squeals that would make Ned Beatty blush? Check. Chugs upon chugs upon chugs? You bet. Slam Slugs from Outta’ Space delivers all the horrible cliches in the most putrid package available, and sometimes that’s exactly what we need.

Half the world seems to be going mad, so embrace the slime. Hail Mollusca.

How are you getting ignorant today? Sound off in the comments below.

Gastropode: Bandcamp | Facebook
Nervectomy: Bandcamp | Facebook

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  • tigeraid

    Well, the first thirty seconds of Raw Snails Army was quite pleasant.

    • Shakes 999

      It sounded like a mini-game song from a old Sierra game.

  • Eliza

    I see snail metal is becoming an actual genre.

    • As we all get weirder and weirder. “Yeah, I hang out on this toilet-themed blog and listen to snail metal.”

      • Eliza

        It does sound weird when you put it like that.

      • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

        This is going to be my new pick up line

  • Black Smallbeard

    if i were Slugdge, i would be PISSED

    • Eliza

      Maybe even a little proud that your creation inspired people.

      • Black Smallbeard

        if I were Eliza, i would be PISSED

        • Eliza

          Nah, this stuff here is hilarious.

          • Black Smallbeard

            if i were this stuff here, i would be PISSED

          • Eliza

            They’re already pretty pissed.

        • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

          If I was Donald Trump, I would be PISSED (on by Russian hookers)

          • Black Smallbeard

            i dont know why everyone keeps saying thats a bad thing

          • KyleJMcBride

            That’s what Bill Clinton said! (badoomboomtiss)

    • Kevin Nash’s Jackknife

      If I were them I’d be happy that I spearheaded a new genre.

      • Black Smallbeard

        if i were a spearhead, i would be PISSED

        • Sir Kookaburra The Based

          if i were PISSED, i would be PISSED

          • Black Smallbeard

            i mean . . . arent you, tho?

          • Sir Kookaburra The Based

            Perpetually.

          • Black Smallbeard

            *pats the poor kookiebookie

    • Matt Slug Moss

      We are all one in the slime.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY
  • good Sunday morn, everyone!
    let us join together on this day of rest, and celebrate our friendships. these are friendships that are not so easily broken by the fools engaged in bi-partisan politics. these are friendships strong enough to withstand the mud-slinging of mass media. we will not let the Negative Perpetual Motion Machine of politics stand in our way! wuv u all.

  • good Sunday morn, friendos!
    tell me rill quick: have you ever lost a friendship (doesn’t matter who was right or wrong) over a political debate? if you have, then it’s obvious that something’s very wrong in our culture. it also means we’re allowing the bi-partisan system of the United States to influence our behaviors and triumph over the solid bonds we have with each other. it means that the old, cranky, corrupt politicians have won! their fucked up system has beat us.

    well i say no longer! fuck all those politicians, collectively! friendship is the strongest thing i’ve ever known (besides all those, you know, really strong “actual” materials)! i’m not losing one motherfucking friend due to politics. because i value each and every Toilet friend more than i value whatever policies are going to be argued over, for the next [however many] years. i’d rather hear that every one of you is doing well in real life, than hear the bickering going on over stupid bullshit that’s never going to change. you just matter more to me!

    • tigeraid
    • tigeraid

      But srsly, been trying to avoid political arguments for about a year now. It almost works.

      • yup. many people would be surprised how much easier life is, as an avoider of conflict. never having to worry about if others are right or wrong about something feels …. liberating!

    • Black Smallbeard

      i hate to say it like this but ive found that a republican can be friends with a democrat but democrats seem to have a hard time getting on with republicans

      of course nothing is ever writ in stone like that.

      i think its better to just not have friends at all

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        *braces self for contradictory comments*

      • Not THIS Democrat. Hueheuheh.
        Really, I don’t identity with either party. The world isn’t so black and white. So I choose to be kind to people (whatever party that is)

      • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

        Alas, this is true. When did Democrats became so closed minded and judgemental?

    • ME GORAK™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      BACK TO THE PRIMITIVE!!!!!!!
      FUCK ALL YOUR POLITICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      (GORAK POSER, GORAK SORRY….)

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        Soulfly>>>>>>>
        Gorak>>>>>>>>>

        • Pick one.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            I pick both.

        • ME GORAK™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

          SEÑOR JEFE>>>>>>>>>>>

      • Kevin Nash’s Jackknife

        I think you mean politricks.

        • ME GORAK™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

          @vinnylevine:disqus PLZ!!!!!!! THAT POST MAX SEPULTURA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT POST SEPULTURA MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • KyleJMcBride

        #JumpDaFuckUp

    • KyleJMcBride

      I start with the assumption that everybody already hates me and just proceed onward with my day from that point.(shrugs) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5c0062a226e71cdeda4b27b70294762795a2ad10c9119d939112f16da1d897e1.jpg

    • Sir Kookaburra The Based

      Can’t lose friends over politics when you got no friends ?

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      Can’t say I have lost a friend over politics. I’ve had heated discussions with friends over politics (I once had a fight with a friend who opposes gay adoption) but nothing that would make either of us not want to speak to each other ever again.

      Friendship is indeed strong, stronger than republicans and democrats, stronger than liberals and conservatives, stronger than left and right wing. In fact, the only thing stronger than friendship is METAL!!!

    • My best friend of 25+ years and I get drunk and scream at each other about politics on a monthly basis. In the morning we have eggs.

      • Sir Kookaburra The Based

        Does the yelling end in the sex? Or does it happen during?

        • Black Smallbeard

          both

        • Oddly enough, it happens during the eggs.

          • Sir Kookaburra The Based

            Nice

        • Kevin Nash’s Jackknife

          The drummer of Can died. I’m gonna cry.

          • Sir Kookaburra The Based

            Oh shit. Jaki was one of my fav drummers!

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Who?

    • Maik Beninton™

      I try my best to not enter a political debate, I’m not good at discussing things like that.

    • I have one year telling everyone this shit and they still want to fight.

      Let them fight.

      Anarchy. Power to the people. Destroy the establishment. Bring the power chords on verses and the movie trailers, let’s watch the world go Mr. Burns.

      Listen to these in 200% volume.

      https://68.media.tumblr.com/0bc880cf735b261e8d60a1ae826bbf89/tumblr_ny5xwz4RCX1s4vi02o1_400.gif

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbmWs6Jf5dc

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy1ylSC9v_o

    • Sobotka

      Sounds communist…

  • KyleJMcBride

    Let’s talk about death, baybee
    disintegration of flesh, you’ll see
    let’s talk about all the good things
    and the bad things
    in hacking up your meat