Sunday Sesh: Let’s All Watch Bloodsport

If you ask any red-blooded American man (or Omani national, interestingly enough) who the greatest actor of all time is, the undoubted and only correct response is: Jean-Claude Van Damme. Though the martial artist and handsome devil starred in a number of pioneering films in the 1980s and early 1990s, Bloodsport, a tale of love, violence, and rippling muscles is easily his crowning achievement (and the Arkenstone upon which Hollywood has built its empire). Today we celebrate the legacy of Bloodsport, JCVD’s impressive splits, and Bolo Yeung’s throbbing pecs.

It’s mesmerizing

Bloodsport follows the tale of Army Captain Frank Dux (JCVD) as he embarks on a grand adventure of blood and sport to honor the memory of his ninjutsu master Tanaka and his son Shingo. You see, Shingo was killed in an illegal martial arts tournament in Hong Kong called the Kumite. Dux feels a debt to the honorable Tanaka and pledges to take part in the tournament to honor his surrogate father, against the express order of his army commanders. Thankfully for us, the viewers, JCVD disobeys these orders and goes AWOL in Hong Kong.

I don’t know how Dux’s commanders could frown upon those buns of steel.

While in Hong Kong, Dux befriends fellow American fighter Ray Jackson (Donald Gibb) and becomes the object of romantic interest of reporter and longbuttz enthusiast Janice Kent (Leah Ayres). However, Dux’s heart is in the ring, and in his first round of the competition, he sets a new record for fastest knockout, beating the time set by returning champion Chong Li (Bolo Yeung), earning the oily antagonist’s ire in the process. Unfortunately for Dux and Jackson, Li begins to fight with increasing cruelty, hospitalizing Jackson and killing another opponent. It is up to Dux to end Li’s tyrannical reign in a bout of riveting man-on-man action.

The dastardly Li has a few tricks up his sleeve, forcing the glistening Dux to use his most wily abilities to claim victory.

Despite the somewhat cheesy story and typically 80s flair, Bloodsport is certainly a win in terms of martial arts. In addition to all manner of martial arts styles and techniques, the film also sports a number of impressive feats of manliness and strength. The aforementioned splits are genuine, but so is JCVD’s crotch-destroying helicopter kick and Yeung’s overall Adonis-like physique. Come for the story; stay for the beefcakes.

Bloodsport has been there like a good friend for me, helping me get through finals in undergrad and world travels in grad school. It’s one of the few films that I will always watch if it happens to be on TV. Its plethora of impressive martial arts, hunky dudes battling it out, and siqqq 80s music training montages has earned it a reputation as a cult classic, and metalheads looking for a little blood in their romance should find much to love. If you want to watch the whole thing, you can do so right now on youtube for just $2.99. If you’ve never seen the film before, I definitely recommend it. If you have seen it, you should rewatch the final fight below and remember why you fell in love with JCVD all those years ago.

(Photos VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA)

Written by:

Published on: April 3, 2016

Filled Under: Open Swim

Views: 4279

Tags: ,

  • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

    Dammit. I’m at work.

    • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

      that sucks. i have a long week starting tomorrow, then a vacation the next week

      • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

        Vacations are nice.

        • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

          it will be a staycation. DkS3 comes out the tuesday after this. Plus graves at sea.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Nothing wrong with that, man

  • Sir Tapir The Based

    I will not.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      Yes you will!

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        I WILL NOT!

        • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

          Alright then!

  • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

    • brokensnow

      Death Touch.

  • Rob M

    Bolo Yeung was robbed

  • BobLoblaw
  • tigeraid

    Once you step out of the sunlight into the narrow corridors, it’s time to protect your nuts, guys.

    The single greatest movie in history.

    Except the Evil Dead series.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Wrong.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          Because the greatest movies were directed by this guy…

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Amen.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Picture isn’t coming up. :-/

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            David Lynch of course.

            You know, the guy who made masterpieces such as Lost Highway and Mulholland Drive.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Gordon Ramsay?

            (PS, I know it’s David Lynch)

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        This is the correct answer
        ==>

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          LOLFUCKINGBUTTZ!!!! Easily the worst of Lynch’s films, along with Mulholland Drive (well, outside of that lesbian scene of course).

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Said no one.

            Everybody with at least “a little” taste in movies knows Lost Highway and Mulholland Drive are full on masterpieces.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Says me! *drops the hammer*

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I think that equals “no one”.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            TBH, I can’t stand Lynch outside of Twin Peaks, Elephant Man, Dune, Blue Velvet and Eraserhead.
            LH and MD were just a shitload of wonky ideas slapped together, with almost no cohesion.

          • There is cohesion aplenty. You must trust your associative brainparts to create the story for you. Get off of them beta waves, start surfing them theta waves.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            You seem to hate a lot of the finer things in life.

          • Inland Empire is my fav.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Also great, though that one even took me a couple of views before it had me hooked.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Love Inland Empire, but I find it so personally unsettling that its very hard to watch.

          • Likewise. Gotta watch it for special occasions only.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            One of my friends recommended that a while back. Heard it was pretty gruesome (as is most of the films that said friend recommends. The same one who showed me Bad Boy Bubby and Philosophy Of A Knife).

          • Your opinions are sometimes so aggressively incorrect that I suspect you are just trolling the concept of “taste” altogether.

          • more beer

            Not this time. That is most certainly his choice of best movie ever.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Yes, indeed! My favorite comedy, though, not my all time favorite film. That would be ‘Black’ (the Indian film).
            Lol, a pic of me and Rob Schneider that a friend Photoshopped for me back in the day:

            http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/geistimsturm/shaunbeard.jpg

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            They’re called opinions, brainiac. Correct or incorrect is subjective. Do go on though………..

            http://www.solidsmack.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/addergoesforth_96C9878A-0E52-ED91-01C765AC19284570.jpg

      • Hubert

        Downvoted

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      WRONG AGAIN

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        FLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH (everything Star Wars)!!!!!! Hell, I’ll even take Turkish Star Wars over Empire Strikes Back.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkU3jWNKVR8

        • Dave Vincent’s Perm

          I really just wanted to share that metal as fuck picture of Darth, the King of evil himself.

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Cmon now.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            I loathe Star Wars. Loved it as a kid, though.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Interesting…

        • PostBlackenedWhaleGaze

          I once got blazed af and watched this entire thing in college. What a fucking waste of time.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Lol, there were many many bad ripoffs of American films from Turkey back in the day. She Past Away recommended some good Turkish films when I interviewed them, but couldn’t find any of them.

    • CyberneticOrganism
      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Damn, I keep forgetting to watch that.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Rectify that! It’s amazing

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            I’ll see if it’s downloadable on Youtube. Watching Liquid Sky a little later.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Try Netflix streaming or DVD, it’s worth seeing in HD.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            I can check and see if the library has it. I don’t have Netflix. My roomies do, but I skipped on having it installed down here in my room.

  • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

    You deeed it, W. You deeed it.

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    Speaking of Bolo, I actually have this little ditty on DVD.

    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41CBUeFKJlL._SY300_.jpg

    And there’s 4 other sequels that I know of. Gotta love that front cover of Bolo after he ate an entire block of cheese in one sitting. Or is he driving an imaginary 18 wheeler? Oddly enough, he’s the featured star of the film, and only has a total of 20 minutes in the whole thing.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I have this on VHS somewhere.

    • BobLoblaw

      I only have a few VHS and no way to play them but the nostalgia…. Street Fighter/Return of the Street Fighter (Sonny Chiba(Kill Bill, played Hatori Hanzo)), the first part of the Spawn animated series, and Bullet (with Tupac and Mickey Rourke).

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        The Streetfighter movies are worth upgrading to DVD for if you still dig the old school stuff, especially as they were usually cut and reframed for VHS releases in the US/UK.

        • BobLoblaw

          Definitely enjoyed them, I had Sister Street Fighter too but it disappeared.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I don’t think I ever saw that, must pick it up sometime. Seems to have three sequels as well.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Speaking of old movies and TV shows Animaniacs is on Netflix.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Ah man, awesome post! My introduction to awesome martial arts and awesome martial arts brutality (leg break! head leap!), and the start of the awesome family tradition of my brothers and I watching martial arts together. A strong contender for awesomest of its kind made in the West.

    Obligatory US martial arts recs: Martial Law 2, Martial Outlaw, Mission of Justice, Deadly Bet, Back in Action and Tough and Deadly.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        Pure class film. One of the occasional non cut ‘n paste outings from the astounding Godfrey Ho. Possibly his best film.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        The best fight scene in my opinion is the one in They Live

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Damn good choice. Just put on the fucking glasses!

        • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

          Definitely one of the funnest. For me, there are just too many great fight scenes to really pick a favourite. It comes down to what bests suits my mood at a particular time.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Same. Ong Bok has several fight scenes I’d pick, same with 2 and 3. Ip Man 2 would be another pick, as well as Tai Chi Hero.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Those would all be up there for sure. And in other recent ones, Chocolate and the two Raid pictures for me.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Oh, and Detective Dee And The Mystery Of The Phantom Flame, one of my all time favorites. Sadly, haven’t seen the sequel, though.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I’ve yet to see that one, though I keep hearing good things. Need to borrow it off my brother some time. If I remember rightly the sequel is supposed to be ace too.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            It’s excellent. Think Crouching Tiger meets the newer Sherlock Holmes movies.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            An enticing combination!

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Seen Legend Of Fist? (yes, that is the actual title)

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Possibly. Is that the one with quite a bit of stabbing that ends with Donnie Yen punching somebody a hilarious amount of times in the face?

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Lol, I think so. It’s been a while.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I recall quite liking it but I was really baked round my brother’s flat so the stabbing and climactic face punching is about all I have in terms of detail.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Anything with Donnie Yen is a good choice.

          • brokensnow

            Donnie vs Sammo was the fight that brought back the resurgence of the serious Kung Fu flick.

          • Count_Breznak

            The Raid 1+2 had some nasty scenes.

    • brokensnow

      watch the doc called Martial Arts: The deadliest art. changed my life as a child. searched for most of those films into adulthood.

      • brokensnow

        The one with S. Jackson around 99 and animated (kind of) one they did a few years ago are great as well.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    For me it will forever be a battle between Bloodsport and Hard Target when it comes down to choosing my favorite Van Damme movie.

    Speaking of Van Damme, what did you guys think of that last Universal Soldier movie, Day of Reckoning?

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Haven’t seen it. He actually was really good (no joke) in JCVD. It was basically a dark comedy about his life, and had some good dramatic acting. Even Roger Ebert of all people gave it a thumbs up.

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        Yeah I have JCVD on DVD here somewhere. It was pretty good.

        I never liked Ebert though. He always came across as an unpleasant ass.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Quite the opposite. Sure, he was opinionated, and that was his job. He actually seemed really down to Earth, especially in the last couple years of his life.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I dunno, I always thought his reviews oozed of arrogance. Then again, I mostly get that feeling with any type of high level “professional critic”. Even worse than movie critics are food critics.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Or critics in general. I did something around 75 or so reviews for ChainDLK way back when, and I highly doubt any more than 5 people ever bought the CDs based on those reviews. I can’t even think of the last time I got a CD based on a review, especially when I can listen to a couple of tracks and have something of a conclusion. Same with restaurants and movies.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Honestly, music critics don’t really seem to bother me. Maybe that’s because most of the obnoxious music critics are reviewing more ‘mainstream’ music and when it comes to music it’s easy to escape the mainstream. Sometimes I want to punch a reviewer over at Metal-Archives in the face, but that’s about it.

            Food critics though…they’re insufferable.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            That first part sounds like Pitchfork and Rolling Stone in a nutshell.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Oh yeah, I forgot Pitchfork. Sometimes I agree with them, other times I heavily disagree with them. That’s ok, that’s a matter of opinion, but still…they suck.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            I’ve heard Blog That Shall Not Be Named has some pretty shitty reviews as well.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Phil Boozeman, that’s all I’m gonna say.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            I know this one site that has good reviews, it’s called shitter of hades. Or something like that.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            ANGRY METAL GUY!?!?!?!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Their reviews are actually well thought-out. I disagree with them quite often, but that has nothing to do with the quality of their reviews.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            IT FAIR FOR SAY IT REEK OV ELITISM!!!!! GORAK FIND SOME NEW MOOZIK THEIR!!!!!! NOT NEAR AS MUCH AS THE SHITTER THOUGH!!!!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            To be honest, The Shitter really is an excellent place for those who want to dive into the deep underground. Reading the articles, reviews…but also comments makes you discover bands you otherwise wouldn’t even hear about.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            For real. The reviews on “Shitter of Hades” put the reviews of the Blog That Shall Not Be Named to a shame.

            At least Shitter of Hades doesn’t have a reviewer that immediately 5/5ves every album a scene kid will love.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Yeah, they’re too busy giving 5s to weird shit like Skaphe.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            SKAPHE ROCKS!!!!!

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            CAVEMAN RIGHT!!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I’d rather see a Skaphe getting 5ved than another ‘perfect score’ review for the next Darkest Hour album, which sounds exactly the same as the previous one.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Precisely

          • Lacertilian

            Oi!

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            I meant no disrespect! I enjoyed the album, but you have to admit, it’s weird shit man. It was the best example I could think of that really showed the difference between us and them. You know?

          • Lacertilian

            Haha, I was just fuckin around man.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Alrighty then!

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      There was more than one of those?

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        There were at least 4.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Well shit.

    • more beer

      This was Van Dammes day of reckoning.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbcF0sluPSo

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        You don’t fuck with Chuck.

        • more beer

          Nope the guy is a Hells Angels Nomad. Their motto is “when in doubt knock em out”. That exactly what Van Damme got.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Nomads are nothing to mess with. The Dutch province which borders my province has a notorious HA Nomads chapter, which also has Belgian members. One of them used to live a 15 minute drive from where I live. I remember a few years ago when they “cleaned the house” and got rid of 3 members they considered to be a liability. It wasn’t pretty.

          • more beer

            A good general rule in life is don’t fuck with anyone with a 1% patch. I know more than a few of these guys and they are not to be taken lightly.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            The Hells Angels were actually very big fans of the Cheer that is Blue. They had good music taste.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            In the 70’s quite a lot of HA’s were Deadheads as well.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            They were.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yep. I know one of them myself, he lives near the canal in my town. But he doesn’t belong to that Nomads chapter.

            They’re keeping a low profile now though. I actually see some of them walking around at the annual metal fest and the annual blues fest in my region, but they never really bother anyone.

          • more beer

            Like anyone else. If you don’t fuck them they won’t bother you. But if someone is dumb enough to fuck with one. They get the wrath of all of them.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            1% patch? Like bankers, politicians and rich people?

          • more beer

            No. Any member of an outlaw motorcycle club. I s called a 1 percenter.

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            not all members are 1%ers. i know a handful myself

          • more beer

            Depends on the club.

    • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

      havent seen Day of Reckoning but Hard Target & Wilford Brimley >>>>>>

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        Lance Henriksen >>>>>>>>>

    • Guppusmaximus

      Universal Soldier: “Regeneration” was damn good. Plus, it had Andre Arlovski in it and he didn’t come across as some MMA has been (not that he is now either) I didn’t see “Day of” but the trailer looked bad.

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        Day of Reckoning is going to turn out a completely different movie than you probably expect. The atmosphere is completely different from any other Universal Soldier movie, almost in a bad trip horror kind of way. A lot of people have been surprised while watching that movie.

  • Maik Beninton™
  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
  • Guppusmaximus

    The real Frank Dux’s Bullshido claims were the catalyst for this absolutely awesome movie. At least this bullshit works somewhere…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXdmgBTxon0

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt

    I watched this instead. Brootal.
    https://youtu.be/155Ps_q0SUw

    • Dubs

      Check out 13 Assassins.

      • Rob M

        That movie was awesome

    • Rob M

      Holy shit…completely forgot about this movie.

  • BobLoblaw

    Them “Panama Papers” though….

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    I bumped into an article earlier with Asking Alexandria’s ex-singer talking about “making lots of money”.

    http://assets.blabbermouth.net/media/dannyworsnop2015solo_638.jpg

    Poor guy doesn’t know that the Gold Rush ended in the 1800’s, by the looks of it.

  • Rob M

    All this talk of martial arts flicks and no one brings up the so cheesy theyre awesome, Shaw Brothers films…I love those movies

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlJ6tbBm85A

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Classic!
      Lol, let’s not forget Turkish kung-fu films back in the days of their extremely lo-budget golden era.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v7U_hjknhQ

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      Shaw Brothers had the best! Kid With the Golden Arm, Chinese Super Ninjas and the not so “cheesy” 36th Chamber of Shaolin.

      • Lacertilian

        36th Chamber!

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Up from the 36th chaammba! It’s the GHOST face Kilaaaah

  • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

    ugh, im sitting next to a business called “My Vape Space”

  • Waynecro

    I watched Bloodsport at least once a week when I was a kid. The soundtrack still gets me pumped.