Sunday Sesh: Jailed

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Ever stumble upon a release/band you had never heard of prior, think THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING! Only to do some digging for more and find out they’re on indefinite hiatus or split-up due to one or more members being jailed? This seems to happen too damn often. 

Last week a friend from a band I’ve mentioned on here at least 263 times sent a link to an album from the Finnish band Numinous. Within minutes I was enthralled, commenced some cursory checks around the traps and discovered they only have one full-length release, a self-titled from 2011. Listen to these fucking riffs!

So after reading through what basically amounted to a bunch of people discussing whether or not the awesome slides in the riffs are glissando or portamento and promptly shutting the locker, I did a bit more scratching around and found this statement on Metal Archives –

The band is comprised of two members.

According to a press release by Northern Heritage Records in 2015, the band was put on hold around 2003 when one of the members served jail time for stabbing two people. The band resumed activity in 2011, but had to put the band on hold yet again after both members were sent to prison on assault (with a “severely oversized blade”) charges.

Well, fuck. Guess the riffs at 27:47 on repeat will have to suffice until their sentence is served. The album has a palpably pernicious presence (getcha Pulitzer Prize please?) and will draw you perilously close to being engulfed in the flames of Hell itself, should you give it half a chance.

So many artists over the years have run into trouble with the law, to varying degrees. How different would things have been different for Dissection had Nödtveldt not been convicted of murder? Would Reinkaos still exist? Would ODB still OD be? I’m sure all of you have at least one artist you can think of immediately whose jail time affected a band you enjoy(ed), which was the most crushing for you? Let’s hear them below. Also, for the fun of it, name the artist you’d like to see imprisoned for crimes against metal. State their name and their alleged crime.


 

(Image via, via)

  • “WAHH!!! I can’t call Black people n**ers without consequence anymore!! WAHH! I actually have to face the repercussions of what I say and do!!! Free speech is dead!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO ‘MURICA!?? WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

    • megachiles

      The comment sections on the Invisible Oranges and Kvlt Nation responses to the Phil Anselmo situation have been surprisingly bigot-rich, and that makes me sad. 🙁

      • Angries up the blood, it does.

        • megachiles

          Haha, adding that to my lexicon.

      • Just stay away from it then. Listen to metal and have a PB&J sandwich instead. That’s what I’m currently doing, and it’s quite relaxing.

        • megachiles

          Truth, man. I go and pet the dog or cat instead, or eat cheese. It’s the bees knees.

      • Óðinn

        I’d guess that some of these idiots are the same guys who used to post on MetalSucks (they probably still do, but I rarely go to that website anymore). You can tell by the writing style and the similarities and the things that they say. The guy who posted as “Einar” on Invisible Oranges is obviously the same guy who used to post as “N” on MetalSucks. He’s an idiot. He would always show up anytime a story was posted about Phil Labonte, Varg, Anselmo, or any other racist asshat, to defend their racist actions and opinions.

      • Óðinn

        I’ve also gotta call BS in Anselmo’s “white wine” excuse. Unless he was desperate for some booze, why would he be drinking white wine? To be fair, I wasn’t there. But I find it hard to picture Anselmo, a fat, Southern, piece of shit, wannabe tough guy, trailer trash, sipping on a glass of white wine. Seems like a half-assed excuse.

    • Óðinn

      Fuck Phil Anselmo. He’s an idiot.

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      “Anti-racist means anti-white!”

      • more beer

        So where is the hate for these guys?

        • Didn’t you hear? They were drunk and just joking around.

          • more beer

            I figured they just get a pass because of who the are. The double standards with all of this kind of shit are out of control.

          • Agreed.

          • Óðinn

            True. James Hetfield is actually a right-wing asshole.

          • more beer

            And a Nazi.

          • Many historians believe all Nixon had to do in order to avoid resigning and impeachment was admit his fuck up and apologize. Of course, he didn’t.

          • more beer

            But fuck Nixon. He started the war on drugs. They should have locked him up. Not pardoned him.

          • Oh, fuck him for sure. I’m just saying that in many cases when a person makes a big mistake, all they have to do is apologize and be sincere and anyone with half a brain will move on.

            But yeah, fuck Nixon, Draw and quarter his ass in effigy for the War On Drugs and so much more. Kissinger and Cheney still live but Bowie and Lemmy are dead. This is not a just Universe.

          • more beer

            Here is a crazy concept. Don’t fuck up in leaps and bounds. This way no apologizes are in order.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            And the best apology is not repeating the same mistake again.

          • more beer

            That too.

          • Óðinn

            In general, I agree. Admitying your mistakes goes a long way. Being an elected official though, that’s one case where one could argue that apologizing wouldn’t be enough. Unfortunately, Nixon was pardoned for his crimes, instead of paying an actual criminal price. This trend carried through to Reagan and Bush/Cheney when they committed crimes too.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            At least we still have Abe Vig……………….. GODDAMNIT, force of habit!

          • Óðinn

            Agreed.

          • Óðinn

            “Butt fuck Nixon.” Haha.

      • I’ve honestly never seen this pic. Then again, I haven’t cared about Metallica for almost 25 years so it’s not surprising.

        • It just popped up on my feed like an hour ago.

        • Óðinn

          I think intentions matter too. I don’t believe that Lars Ulrich is is an avowed racist, but I can believe that he made a Nazi salute as a joke in his twenties. Is there room for forgiveness for that? Probably, from most people. However, racism has been an ongoing theme with Anselmo for over 20 years now. This isn’t even the first time he’s given a Nazi salute and yelled “white power” on stage. He was filmed doing that at concert in Korea many years ago. There have been multiple incidents with Anselmo.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            I love The Exploited, but they definitely are questionable on the whole racist thing. That’s been something they’ve been trying to disprove for the longest time, to no avail. Some of their arguments about it on forums are pretty hilarious, though.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    Getcha Pull-itzer, Fharc.

  • Dealing with the consequences of your speech and actions is part of being an adult. If people can’t cope with that, they need to back to their fucking crib.

    • more beer

      Typically people speak the truth when they are drunk. But also if you going to talk stupid shit. You should at least have enough balls to stand by your words. All of the back peddling and apologizing just makes people look like bigger assholes.

      • Exactly. If you’re gonna be a jackass, own it.

        • more beer

          Yep.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          That whole Anselmo situation was just one big publicity cash cow for more than a few artists. Anselmo himself turned his racist “joke” into some free publicity with that half-hearted “apology”. Flynn couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get something out of the situation. And a couple of mediocre sub-tier shit bands people have been giving two shits about for years now, saw the opportunity to get their 15 seconds of fame again.

          • ProfoundHatred

            It’s amazing. My facebook feed has been a war zone between pro and anti anselmo arguments, and all I can think is “do we really give a fuck about pantera?”

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I dig some of their albums, which I like to revisit from time to time. But they haven’t really been relevant for like more than 10 years or so. It’s just another of those “all aboard the hype train” situations. It’ll blow over in no time.

          • #WhatReallyMatters

          • Óðinn

            To be honest, I never cared that much about Pantera, even at the height of their popularity. Let’s be honest, they were never that great. They were a glam band who changed their sound to be more like Thrash at the end of the Thrash era. They were behind the times, and became popular with middle-Amerca trailer trash in the 1990s. Phil Anselmo had always been a douchebag, and the band flaunted racist symbols all over their merchandise.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Whether they were ‘good’ or not is a matter of taste in my opinion. I happen to like them. I don’t consider them to be the greatest metal band ever, but I consider them a classic band that still deserves a place in my collection. But Phil has been a drunk bullylike blockhead with obvious racial prejudices right from the beginning. And the band in its entirety has always positioned themselves, their music and their imaginery to be the #1 metal band for bar-fighting, crank-dealing white trash. I don’t understand the people that suddenly go all like “UH NO! I CAN’T BELIEVE HE’S RACIST! I’M NEVER GOING TO LISTEN TO PANTERA EVER AGAIN!”.

          • Óðinn

            Yeah, he’s been racist for a long time.

          • Max

            What I want to know is: Why hasn’t Randy Blythe weighed in on this yet? With at least one giant paragraph on Instagram, anyway.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Anselmo and Blythe are on quite good terms. I think Blythe was even the special guest at the Housecore Horror Festival a few years back. It wouldn’t surprise me if there will be a reaction from Blythe on the whole situation though. And when that happens, it won’t take long before Corey Taylor chimes in.

          • more beer

            I can’t answer that. But that is good. It is the first time that this guy has kept his mouth shut ever.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Somehow I have a feeling it won’t stay that way.

          • more beer

            There is only one solution to this. Duct tape.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            And extremely tight handcuffs. Otherwise he would, like Max said, just type some statement on his Instagram or Twitter page.

          • more beer

            You could always duct tape his hands together. Added bonus if he has really hairy arms.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Looks hairy enough for me.

          • more beer

            I find him and his band insufferable. I never paid attention. But that is good as duct tape removal will be painful. Like his silly rants are to the rest of the world.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I like the first 3 albums. I even think As the Palaces Burn is a great album as far as modern ‘mainstream’ metal goes. After Ashes of the Wake their music has gone so incredibly stale that I can’t bring myself to care for any potential new album by them anymore.
            There’s always some feeling of vicarious shame going on when reading his rants. That feeling gets even worse when you see how much the MS guys keep gobbling his cock.
            As an aside, a guy I went to school with worked at some fest over here for years. He met Blythe somewhere in 2007. Said he was cool in person.
            Still that doesn’t mean I have to read all about his opinions.

          • more beer

            I always saw the as a trendy high school kid band. A little to commercial for my tastes.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Understandable. New American Gospel and As the Palaces Burn didn’t really sound too commercial to my ears. Ashes of the Wake was way more polished already, but at least the songs on it were still memorable enough. It went steadily downhill after that.

            But I guess my perception on them may be different, because where I live I feel there isn’t really a ‘mainstream’ in metal.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            They’ll both either chew through the duct tape or go full force on Twitter. At that point, it’s time to go Sharia law and start chopping off their typing hands.

          • more beer

            Better on Twitter than actually hearing them talk.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            3, 2, 1 until David Draiman ‘weighs in’ on the issue and goes off on a nonstop rant about Israel and oppression.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            Oh, the day is still young, my friend! Him and Taylor are about to have at least 15 Blabbermouth articles on the subject this week. I wanna hear Tom Fischer give some long, overly wordy, Dennis Miller-esque speech on the whole thing.

          • Dubs

            He’s looking for the right black and white photo to accompany it.

          • Óðinn

            Don’t forget Dimebag’s hideous beast of a girlfriend. Her comments on Blabbermouth are laughable. She’s not even a musician, but she’s milking het association with Dimebag for all it’s worth. She’s not upset that Anselmo made a racist comment on stage, but she’s upset at Flynn for pointing it out because she organized the event.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger
  • Guacamole Jim

    I actually can’t think of any artists I like who have spent enough time in jail for me to notice an impact on their work.

    But if we’re talking about crimes against metal, well, obviously it’s gotta be Deafheaven, because, like, I don’t like the way they look, and metal is exclusively about aesthetics.

    http://www.metalinjection.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/deafheaven2015.jpg

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      A E S T H E T I C S

    • megachiles

      I mean, it could be worse. They could all have muns.

    • Óðinn

      Unless Black Metal guys wear make-up and S&M gear, they’re not Black Metal.

      • more beer

        Corpse paint! Or get the fuck out.

        • Óðinn

          I know we call it “corpse paint”, but if I’m honest, it’s make-up. Hey, I love Black Metal music, but I’m not gonna walk around wearing make-up. It’s campy. Bands can wear the corpse paint or not as far as I’m concerned. Doesn’t really effect how they sound. I wouldn’t wear it though.

          • more beer

            I agree fully. I have never worn make up. I’m not gonna start now. I actually prefer bands not wear makeup either. Because after all it is about the music.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            For some reason I can’t stand it when a male musician wears black nail polish. Can’t help it, but I have to cringe every time I see something like that.

          • more beer

            I find it hard to take any guy wearing nail polish seriously.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Indeed. It also doesn’t help that a lot of singers from those shitty, B-grade nu-metal bands were wearing black nail polish. Along with dyed blonde hair and lip piercings.

          • more beer

            No guy should ever try and be as pretty as a lady. Unless of course they are trying to be a lady.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Dee Snider used to dress like a lady. I still don’t get why.

          • more beer

            Like one ugly lady. Need I say more?

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I agree. They’re also awful live or at least they were in 2012.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yep. Saw them live in 2012 as well. They were pure shit.
            Then again, I always found Twisted Sister to be pure shit to begin with.

          • more beer

            I saw the a few times in the early 80’s. They were playing clubs all over New York before they achieved commercial success. They weren’t bad then considering a lot of the horrible options that were out there then.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I didn’t really grow up with them so for me there are no real feelings of nostalgia attached to them. In general I find that kind of “party metal” to be unbearable to listen to.

          • Óðinn
          • more beer

            Maybe not that ugly!

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            Is that you, Sarah Jessica Parker? ^^^^^^^

          • Just onstage though. It’s a costume.

          • Dude, this is happening about a 10 minute walk from my house, but it was only announced a week ago and sold out quick. I’m a bit upset about it.(RFI)

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Lucky.

          • It’ll only be lucky for me if they run this venue again soon. This company looks like it’s becoming a Northeastern version of PWG.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Maybe they’ll come near me.

          • I think they’re strictly a New England thing which is fine by me. We’re severely under served when it comes to indie wrestling.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            We have Northeast Wrestling and Big Time Wrestling which comes here sometimes.

          • They’ve running a matinee show in Providence next month. Maybe I’ll try and go to that.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Sting is doing a shoe for BTW in Danbury. I’m hoping to go.

          • Óðinn

            If they do, try to get out of the way.

          • Óðinn

            Yeah, the nail polish seems Nu-Metal to me.

      • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

        And look like angry rodeo clowns with swords.

        http://funny-pictures-quotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Black-metal-youre-doing-it…panda_.jpg

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Sting had the best corpsepaint and it wasn’t even supposed to be corpsepaint.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Guacy plz! Metal is not about aesthetics, it’s about the music!

      • Guacamole Jim

        You just don’t understand. Metal isn’t about the quality of music, or recording – in fact, the better those things are, the less metal you are. Metal is about the image. It’s about appearing tough and mean and not caring what people say about how badly you play/record.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          That’s just insanity.

  • If Gucci Mane ever gets out of prison I expect him to start releasing 4 albums a day, or pretty much double his current output.

  • Super Nintendo Chalmers

    Obligatory Varg/Burzum comment about not going to jail and starting keyboardcore metal.

  • Northern Heritage Records is top notch! Good find lizard. Sounding mean so far. Speaking of jail time. There are rumors that Andreas Bettinger of Grausamkeit has some new stuff coming out.

    Darker than Black Records: Prior to his release from jail we agreed on a couple of new records / releases but it remains to be seen whether or not he’ll resurface anytime soon (and still out of jail, that is) and start working on it.

  • Also, I found a incredible black metal band from Finland last night as well. Just bought the CD. New album in the works too.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDAppu189sM

  • There is a really in-depth interview with Ryan Page (AngelFukk Witchhammer) of A.M.S.G./Ouroboros/Rites of Thy Degringolade. His talk of prison is interesting.

    “I watched ten people die in front of me, and some of them pretty violently. I saw people’s throats get slit. A guy boiled a pot of honey and threw it in this guy’s face who was right in front of me. Aspects like that…you’re sitting there, and that just happens, and you’re like holy fuck. Life is very delicate.”

    http://steelforbrains.com/post/52789985979/angelfukk-witchhammer

    • Dubs

      Boiled a pot of honey? Wow that’s gnarly.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Friend of mine got jailed like 2 days ago. No bullshit. Sucks big time.

    • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

      Damn, that sucks.

  • Here is some more details on the stabbing lizard if you are curious. The article is in Finnish so the Google translate is sort of sketchy.

    http://www.iltasanomat.fi/kotimaa/art-1418624989205.html

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      “Two brothers we’re overcome by rage at a Lahti bar-terrace. A welder in his 40’s went to ask what was the problem to which the younger brother answered “You’ll see” and grabbed him. The older brother proceeded to stab the welder in the gut with a 17cm long-bladed Rambo-knife, cutting through the small intestine and pancreas. The wounds have lead to a severe insufficiency of the liver and pancreas, the severe loss of blood has cost the welder his sight.
      The older brother admitted his guilt in an attempted murder and was sentenced to 5 years, as he has a previous sentence, the prosecutor has called for a longer sentence.
      The younger brother denied his guilt, but was convicted of of being an assistant to an attempted murder and was sentenced to 2,5 years.”

  • From Nothern Heritage:

    NUMINOUS JAILED

    There was intention to introduce all NH bands on facebook, but been slow to adjust into this sort of “promotions”. Anyways, Numinous is one of the more obscure NH bands what gets rarely mentioned. The few who have bought the band are often captured by it’s fanatical force, and perhaps due lack of information online, I have received also quite number of questions whether Numinous next album is coming.

    Band is 2 member unit from Lahti. They appear not to take any part in so called “social scene”. Band recorded very good demo, which Northern Heritage released 2003. Despite small edition, it gained some recognition. After this demo, main composer of band received few years jail sentence for stabbing two people. Band went on break, but returned in 2011 to re-record new version of demo tracks with addtional material, what is their self titled debut album. LP and CD are both still available, but not so big quantities of vinyl anymore.

    Band has returned to same situation as after demo. Except that now both members are in prison! It’s unlikely that any new Numinous would emerge anytime soon. Fresh case is not completely over yet. Prosecutor was not happy even if one member got half decade behind bars. Only luck prevented this to be kill. Nearly lethal assault in bright daylight, in public place with severely oversized blade might harden sentence in higher court.

    When band was signed for label, it appealed to me that band was reeking the same true black metal arrogance what is known from its harder years. Band would not pose in rock’n’roll style nor attempt to convince others with clever presentations. It would stand for darkness and evil divine only, and express hostility toward what was seen false. When many records appear to released for all sorts of hobby bands with almost zero levels of true substance and it appears more likely to be “signed” if you are active in “scene”, Numinous wasn’t. They did not take part of what they saw repulsive form of BM and they didn’t go whoring around on every possibly label to catch any deal someone offered. Northern Heritage had to submit to requests that there should not be stupid promotional speeches where sellingpoints of “sounds like….”, “limited to…” are thrown in. Neither they wanted any online promotion to be done. But of course, it would not be avoided that material has “leaked” to internet just days after it is released.

    Very little what there is to be found from Numinous is pure gold if you ask me. And this is of course reason why material was released in first place. NH will be glad to keep release available as long as possible. Flow of releases is endless, but some albums has special aura to them, even if seemingly “the same” as thousands of unknown and anonymous releases out there.

    Band appears in no way given up their ideals, despite musical creations will not be happening in following years. Those few who might been in contact with members or dedicated ‘zines who are still interested in interviews etc, can get new contact address from label. One must keep in mind letters are will go through check.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Static X. I still hate Tripp Eisen but he was in Static X and Dope.

  • more beer

    This actually happened to me Friday. Vimana didn’t play with Cephalic Carnage due to a member being incarcerated. I know which member it is but I will just leave it at this.

  • I’ve only been in holding cells myself, mostly for minor possession.

    • more beer

      We bought herb in a holding cell in the Bronx after getting busted. While the cops were writing our desk appearance tickets. They weren’t more than 10 feet away from us. We did this shit right under their noses. As soon as we got out we went to the car. Rolled one up and drove away getting stoned.

      • T minus 9 months until MA legalization.

        • more beer

          It is about time. Now if the Feds would only change it from a schedule 1 drug. Things would get better everywhere.

        • I’m going to get high next weekend for the first time in about a year. Looking forward to it.

          • more beer

            You will get stoned as fuck after a year.

          • Probably. I won’t be smoking it, I’ll be having it with whatever we decide to make. Probably peanut butter and cookies.

          • BobLoblaw

            Keep that butter under 180° and be sure to decarb!

          • more beer

            Use a crock pot it works the best.

          • Good to know. My buddy knows more than I do about it so I’m sure we’ll be alright.

          • BobLoblaw

            I wholeheartedly disagree with that. A good thermometer and a watchful eye will beat out a crockpots potency and time. Every time.

          • more beer

            The last batch of butter I made with the crock pot is pretty dam potent. I have used a double broiler before also. The crock pot is just easy for a lazy pothead.

          • BobLoblaw

            Yeah i got ya there, crockpots are too unreliable for someone as anal about temperature and full decarboxylation as myself though. Go big or go home.

          • more beer

            I’m not as anal about it. Plus all the leaf I use to make it I get for free. So I am probably less concerned due to that.

          • BobLoblaw

            I bet you lucky bastard!

          • more beer

            Location,location,location. Even if you have to buy leaf here. You can get an ounce for like 10 bucks. I also have a medical card which cuts the price in half from recreational.

          • BobLoblaw

            Hopefully things change soon. Im using one of my vacations to head out to Colorado during the summer. Fo sho.

          • more beer

            It certainly is paradise for a pothead here. I was reading yesterday that they are trying to pass laws for Amsterdam style cafes. This would be good. Since pot tourism is a huge part of the economy here. People can buy pot then have no place to smoke. Don’t get me wrong there is plenty of smoking outside of clubs and bars everywhere. But that is illegal.

          • more beer

            Edibles get you even more fucked up. I think I might make a batch of cookies today. I have a bunch of herb butter I made over the holidays. You have to make sure that the weed is cooked with some type of oil based product butter or oil to release the THC.

          • BobLoblaw

            Alcohol and vegetable gyleric work splendidly as well.

          • more beer

            Isn’t using alcohol more for making tinctures? But I am in Colorado so I can just go to a dispensary and get all sorts of edibles.

          • BobLoblaw

            Tinctures and hard candies. Was just speaking on its ability to transfer the good stuff. Heard good things about hexane too.

          • more beer

            I don’t know how to make hard candy so there is that. I buy these sodas once in a while that they sell here. They are no joke. They absorb into your system really fast. You get extremely high from them.

          • Then you’ll get even more wasted.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            He’s gonna get Riggity Riggity Rekt, Son

          • You know it. 2 of those cookies knocked me on my ass.

          • more beer

            I’m gonna make more today!

          • Excellent.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            Or he’ll get……………….

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3JnVhm3Exs

          • Even if I go for a few days without, I get wasted after just a few tokes. Enjoy!

          • more beer

            What is this going without you speak of?

          • It happens once in a great while(usually supply issues), probably a lot less(or never again) after November.

          • more beer

            Once it is legal it will be everywhere.

          • I live in a trendy “hipster” neighborhood(Davis Sq). There will be no escaping it.

          • more beer

            That is a good thing.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            Shit, it’s more or less legal on Southside Chicago, unless you’re being an utter idiot about it. There’s not one spot in Hyde Park where I haven’t smoked up, and the cops couldn’t care less.

          • more beer

            That is still not the same as legal. You can’t go into a store and buy a thousand different weed products. Like I can.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            True.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            TYREE TYREE TYREE!

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      I’ve been in a holding cell once for a fight that went down. If there’s one thing I remember, than it’s the crap quality of the bed. Couldn’t sleep all night.

      • more beer

        They don’t really concern themselves with your comfort when you get locked up.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          That much was obvious.

          • more beer

            If you get locked up in NYC you spend a minimum of 72 hours in jail. No matter how petty the offense.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I only had to spend more or less a night in jail. I think it was about 8 hours. So I guess we’re lucky over here. And I still got to keep my clean sheet.

          • more beer

            Central booking in the Bronx is a shit hole. I don’t recommend anyone going there.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Of course, I guess a lot of the characters you see getting locked up in the Bronx can be quite intimidating. I got locked up in Antwerp, which wasn’t so bad.

          • more beer

            It isn’t so much the people. It is the extremely fucked up conditions.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Linked to the whole Anselmo situation:
    Didn’t Robb Flynn at one time make it out to be as if he was Oakland’s very own Pablo Escobar back in his Vio-Lence days? Don’t know if he ever went to jail for his self-described “major drug trafficking activities”.
    And didn’t Anselmo himself bail out some of his musician/drug dealer friends out of jail, such as Mike from Eyehategod?

    • Yup, he bailed out Mike.

      • more beer

        Sometimes you gotta bail your friends out.

  • BobLoblaw

    Zach Pappas from Goratory comes to mind. Wish he had a new project, dude is an absolutely ridiculous bassist.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Black Oak Arkansas stole their first PA system and was charged with grand larceny. Their sentence of 26 years was suspended though.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9F-OGjoGMog

  • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

    Ive always wanted to stab Tapir with a severely oversized blade

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      The feeling is mutual.

    • more beer

      While Tapir talks a lot about stabbing people. But the smart money is on you. As a pirate you should have more experience with a blade then him.

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        He’s only a deck mopper.

        • more beer

          First of all you don’t mop a deck you swab it. Second Blackbeard was a Captain.

        • Unstoppable Fart Machine

          I think he wants to mop your deck, if you know what I mean.

    • Count_Breznak

      I would advice against that. Severly oversized blades are unfit for stabbing, you’d be better off chopping, hewing, slashing, vivisecting….

    • Unstoppable Fart Machine

      Don’t lie. I know what you wanna stab him with, and it’s in your baby oil lubed boxers, on the top bunk.

  • TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT EST #WhatReallyMatters
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctlC0x2eeww

    • Unstoppable Fart Machine

      *rubbing my eyes to make sure this is true, since it’s been forever since the last Venture Bros*

        • Unstoppable Fart Machine

          Thanks, Obama! #FuckTrump

        • more beer

          Doesn’t he have more important shit to do. Like take another Hawaiian vacation or play another round of golf?

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            You honestly think the new batch of idiots will do better? I’m not an Obama fan by any means, but yeesh. It’s gonna be Hillary and Trump, and Idiocracy has officially happened. Sanders? Not gonna happen, as much as I’d like that.

          • more beer

            Hillary is gonna get indicted. I like what Bernie says. But how are we going to fund all of his ideas. The country is broke and in debt. But you don’t vote so none of this should matter to you anyway.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Because our country isnt broke, and cutting out insurance companies and investment brokers from betting on mortgage and student loan derivatives is enough to clear the 1trillion student loan debts and pay for medicare

          • more beer

            So yea we are broke. Since our government works for the bankers. How much is our debt to China? There is no gold standard anymore. So our money is basically worthless. Our government and the banks fucked us good.

          • Those banks should be owned by the gov’t now.

          • more beer

            But they are not. The biggest fraud in history.

          • Any business that gets bailed out by the gov’t in such a big way should be nationalized immediately.

          • more beer

            I agree. They should also be in the car making business.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            In a whole other note, I’m doing what I call a ‘One Week Weed Challange”. Finishing up my beer (3 left), and getting some weed on Wednesday, Smoking and not drinking for the week after that. 😀

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Man, we are not broke. We are the largest economy in the world still. 19 trillion dollars GDP.

          • more beer

            Just wait until China wants our debt paid in full. Our GDP isn’t going to mean shit when our money is worthless.

          • I don’t think they will because we’re their biggest customers. Why kill the goose when you can get golden eggs forever?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Toilet ov US Politics.

          • more beer

            Mind your business. We don’t all live in a fictional land.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Well, shit ain’t going too well over here either.

          • more beer

            It isn’t going well anywhere.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Fuck, can’t complain though. Think of the shit Link’s going through. Or our Ukrainian friend. Or our Brazilian friends. Americans have it pretty good, overall.

          • more beer

            While we do have it good. We need to complain and say shit. Our country has been sold to the highest bidder. Everyone should be pissed about that.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            How so?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Our current leaders are fucking the poor, the workers, the retired, the students and many more while favouring the rich elite. They tried to make it so that tax evasion becomes easier and you can be forgiven for all past past tax evasions by paying a tiny fine.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Are we talking Finland or America? 😉

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Finland

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            You obviously didn’t get the joke. 😉

          • Sir Tapir The Based
          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Go fuck my mom!

          • We’re all fictional on this planet.

          • more beer

            True.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Is shit any better there? Wait, it actually is………………

          • more beer

            When everything really crashes and it will. They are going to want to protect their interests and get back all they can.I think when it does happen. It is going to make the Great Depression. Look like it was a party.

          • I think if it gets THAT bad, we’ll just end up telling China to go fuck themselves. At that point we’d probably be only a few steps from WWIII anyhow.

          • more beer

            I have no doubt that it is coming. Too much has been done with smoke and mirrors. For far to long, for there to be a good outcome. Think about how much worse things have gotten since the Reagan administration. We had some good years under Clinton. We even had a surplus when he left office. But since then it has been a steady decline. That is only getting worse.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Fun fact: Clinton is still hailed a hero in Kosovo. I know a few Albanian guys over here and they may be the only muslim group that doesn’t have a bad word to say about the USA.

          • more beer

            I am amazed even one Muslim group likes us.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Clinton even has a statue in Pristina.

          • more beer

            I hope it is of him smoking a cigar, holding Monica’s head down.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            A good old fashioned Sneaky Castro!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUba8hmEXoc

          • more beer

            Holy shit I didn’t see this with my first response.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            We’ll declare war on them, and have to ask them for a loan to do it. It’d be like a crackhead who just stole everything in your house, and asking you for a loan so he can kick your ass.

          • more beer

            You do realize they have a huge army don’t you?

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            That joke flew over your head! Of course I do, and right next door to them is North Korea, which has a million man army. An army that’s actually larger than China’s. Most likely as well trained, but larger.

          • more beer

            It’s not really a joke because it is pretty true.

          • Óðinn

            It’s mutually assured destruction. The theory is that nuclear powers like the US, Russia, China, won’t go to war with each other because nuclear war could end civilization as we know it.

            In spite of Korea’s big army, in a conventional (non-nuclear) war, the US could actually crush them in a matter of days. Iraq had a huge army at the time of the first gulf war too, but the US had far superior air power, and carpet-bombed the shit out of Iraq’s assets. Korea really wants to be a nuclear power on their own. ICBMs would truly solidify their attempts to maintain the status quo.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Korea? What is that? Best Korea or that inferior one?

          • Óðinn

            There’s only one Korea. 😉

          • more beer

            I don’t think it is going to be one of the large nuclear powers that will start nuclear war. It is going to be a smaller nation that gets the technology. That will cause the start of it.

          • Óðinn

            Yeah, quote possibly. The technology to make bombs will trickle down.

            It’s not spoken of berry much here in America, but India and Pakistan (both nuclear states) hate each other too.

            Also not spoken of very much is the fact that the Obama administration has been quietly gathering much of the loose nuclear material in the world to keep it out of the hands of terrorists. They’ve done a good job of it too.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Awwwwwwwwwwwwww, America! Built by the Blacks and Owned by the Chinese!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C1qSnmhUMs

          • I won’t count out Sanders until after Iowa and NH. If he wins either of those, he’s a viable candidate.
            I think if we stop engaging in nation building overseas and start looking a bit more after ourselves, we’ll find at least some of the money for Sander’s proposals. Besides, if the GOP still hold Congress, it won’t matter who the President is.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Beats the fuck out of Trump trying to get Mexico to build a wall to keep out illegals. Oh, and about that, out of Trump’s own mouth……………

            http://www.rawstory.com/2016/01/trump-admits-his-talk-of-a-great-wall-along-the-mexican-border-is-a-trick-to-rile-up-a-sleepy-crowd/

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            She def wont be indicted.

          • Óðinn

            The money has always been there. We could pay for every US university student’s tuition for far less than we spent “rebuilding” Afghanistan last year. It just depend on how we want to invest our money; an education (and future) for the American people, or billions in profits for big military contractors?

          • more beer

            The money will never be freed up. They will never give up the industrial military complex.

          • Óðinn

            You could be right. Either way, I’ll be supporting and/or voting for Sanders any time the opportunity is there.

          • more beer

            I am still waiting to see what kind of third party candidate crawls out of the woodwork. I really hope it is not Bloomberg.

          • Unfortunately, if there is one, it probably will be him.

          • more beer

            He will not get my vote.

          • Nor mine.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            Spending’s already being cut on the military, actually. They’ve started laying off people at the shipyard here in Newport News, with a lot more layoffs coming this year.

        • Sir Tapir The Based
      • You saw the 1 hour special around this time last year, right?

        • Unstoppable Fart Machine

          Sadly, no. I don’t watch TV much nowadays, and stopped paying attention to Adult Swim long ago, outside of Rick And Morty.

          • You should see that first if you can, vital story line stuff in that episode.

  • Sir Tapir The Based
  • Unstoppable Fart Machine

    Pre-ordered the Persona CD, and fucking loving it so far! This is the first pre-order I’ve made in quite a while.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy-8gDKZOAM

  • Severely oversized blade . . .

    So, like, a SWORD? A Halberd? What?

  • Unstoppable Fart Machine

    Oh, boy, the Phil Ansemlo fallout is getting even worse.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Did Corey Taylor and Randy Blythe issue a statement?

      • Unstoppable Fart Machine

        You’d have to check Blabbermouth like I did……………… this just in from Randy: “We were close to where Phil made that salute. And since we’re in Virginia, hundreds of miles away, I had to cancel my art show that no one here in Virginia knows about. We could’ve died when when he drank that white wine and made that salute…………. oh shit, Unstoppable Fart Machine cut a fart, and that’s 100 miles from us in Richmond. Hit the dirt!”

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          Yeah, just checked it. There’s also a reaction from Corey Taylor stating that Phil’s racism was the cause of Paul’s death.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Paul?

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Paul Gray, former Slipknot bassist who died in 2010.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Wait, what? Do link me up some articles on this.

          • more beer

            Morphine, Fentanyl and Xanax. Cause of death accidental overdose.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Thats one hell of a buzz

          • more beer

            For him it was the death buzz!

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            Death = the ultimate high!

          • Too bad you only get off once.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger
          • I’d do my best to spread that out over a few days, and maybe pass on the Xannies.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Pffffffff

          • I knew you would say that.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY
          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Oh, that dumbass.

      • more beer

        Better yet, did they issue a joint statement?

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          Yeah they’re going to sing an anti-Anselmo song together at the next ‘Metal Allegiance’ gig. They’re going to change the lyrics, but the music will be the same as Ace of Spades. That way they can let the world know they’re also honouring Lemmy while they’re at it. Dave Grohl’s going to play the drums.

          I bet Axl Rosenberg is drooling out of both sides of his mouth already.

          • more beer

            There are at least 8 different bands or people jumping on the crush this guy bandwagon. Including Sebastian Bach who pretty much calls him a pussy. This I find funny.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            This is getting hilarious. Even Chris Kontos, a drummer who completely disappeared from the face of the earth after he drummed on Machine Head’s Burn My Eyes, has come out of the woodwork. It has become a cesspool of media whores (Flynn), has-beens (Bach), butthurt ex-musicians (Kontos) and modern shit bands nobody cares about (Darkest Hour, All Shall Perish…)…all fighting for some crusts.

          • more beer

            It is quite the shit show.

          • more beer
  • These guys reminded me a bit of Abyssal at first. Kind of cool . . . but I’m not interested in bankrolling their stretch.

  • In case I haven’t already said I like this, I like this. #DoomShakeApproved
    https://albinopython.bandcamp.com/album/the-doomed-and-the-damned

    • Boss the Turbid Ross

      Now that is a funny band name. I will be giving this a listen.

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      I was hoping it would be Monty Python inspired doom. Someone needs to do that.

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    I just discovered this rad band called As I Lay Dying. Super sweet licks and breakdowns. Turns out,the singer is in jail for hiring an undercover cop to kill his ex wife. Whoa, that’s some heavy shit right there. Anyone else hear about this?

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      At least it isn’t Lostprophets,

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Dammit, that would have been a better example.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Ted plz! That guy is an awful human being!

      • Unstoppable Fart Machine

        GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is too far, even for me. I would snap Ian’s neck without a second thought, especially since I live with kids.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I’m hoping to see Kansas in April. They’re performing a venue near me.

  • Unstoppable Fart Machine

    The soundtrack to my night (oddly enough, not on my end).

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeNc4tI5km8

  • Óðinn
  • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

    The oversized blade in question?

    http://i.imgur.com/t06yOm9.jpg

  • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

    Having one day off work is bullshit

  • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

    Wow, now Evanescence is weighing in on the whole Phil Anselmo thing, with a hilariously sheltered comment. Apparently this chick hasn’t met, well, any metalheads:

    “Metal, from my personal understanding, is more than just music; it’s a lifestyle. And ever since I got [into] the metal scene, it’s always been like a friendly community. You never experience hate stuff going on from metalhead to metalhead, like, ‘Ewww… You’re listening to SLIPKNOT. How can you do that? I hate you for it. Now you will have to listen to… whatever.’ Stuff like that doesn’t happen in metal.”

    http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/new-evanescence-guitarist-blasts-philip-anselmos-white-wine-excuse-says-racism-has-no-place-in-metal/#JH7tiPgtg1e8T2OP.99