Sunday Sesh: Eat Shit And Die

1381
112
Share:

Or, eat well and live… I guess.

Some of you may not know it, but the Toilet Ov Hell is a place for more than just music. Check that sidebar on the right and you’ll find a bunch of stuff other metal sites simply don’t offer. One of those sections you’ll notice is Cooking. Essentially since its inception, this humble bowl has had a series of excellent metalhead formulated recipes shared, tested and approved. The most recent of which, Vladimir Poutine’s Butternut Squash & Black Bean Bowel Bomb, has seen more Flushers than ever get on board to try their hand at making some quality shit to quell the growling beast within. Admittedly, not every meal is going to appeal to everyone, but if you can’t find something to try from the diverse collection of meals we’ve amassed already, you’re a shitdog. I’ve managed to make a few of these but plan on doing some more over the next month or two. Today, we’re going to feature some of these and see if we can get everyone started on making something new to munch on.

First on my list is Dubya’s South-Western Sweet Potato Burritos. How have I gone this long without trying the first recipe posted on the site you ask? Well, I kinda have tried it, albeit a bastardised form. You see, I’m a self-abasing carnivore and substituted a couple of things, rendering the dish more like the standard Mexican fare I’m accustomed to. Dubs has informed us that it is the combination of the sweet and savoury flavours that make this dish special, so this week I will endeavour to recreate a more authentic version of this meal. Besides, I love Mexican food in Summer so this is the perfect time to tick it off the list. So today I’m going to urge you all to get out and have a go at one (or more) of these metal as fuck meals. I’ll post a link to each recipe below, a few of which have already been replicated by fellow bowl dwellers with excellent results.

Dubya’s South-Western Sweet Potato Burritos

WP_20141010_022

(Want that plate)


Guacamole Jim’s Pasta w/ Reduced Tomato Sauce

IMAG0166

(Guac ended up moving house just so he didn’t have to clean his filthy stove. I would have done the same)


Link’s Venezuelan Melodic Merol Chicken ov Intestinal Destruction

nomnomnomnom.

(I’ve made this, can confirm it rules!)


Reptilian Pizza ov Hell

12771730_1561213394190623_3572599742488053274_o

(Utter monstrosities)


Vlad’s Soba Noodles ov Doom

Photo-Jun-20-6-52-11-PM

(Like ramen but good)


Vlad’s Pork Belly

finished chili

(Flame Pig)


Toilet ov Hell Dumplings à la Nihility

21072015815


Cajun-Spiced Pork w/ Honey-Mustard Cabbage

11032155_1442677622710868_705628875471401027_n

(Crackling/Rind NOT optional)


Dubya’s Pumpkin Soup

WP_20151010_011

(mmmmmmmmmmmmmm)


Stan’s BBQ Brisket

IMG_1894

(The blackest ov briskets)


Clash of the Hybrids: Pizza Burgers vs Burger Pizzas

Burger Pizzas

(Burger Pizzas)

Pizza Burgers

(Pizza Burgers)

Who wore it better?


Beezlebub’s Butternut Squash and Black Bean Bowel Bomb

post-baking


So as you can see, there’s quite a range of shit you can try. Here are some of the reader attempts at the above meals –

original

Above: Way back when, I made Link’s Merol Chicken but can’t find the pic I posted anymore, also tried my claw at Satan’s BBQ Brisket with some extra vegetables to clear out the cupboard, it was most excellent!

McNult

Above: Last week Jimmy McNulty made Beezlebub’s Butternut Squash recipe, here’s what he had to say –

“I must say, it was a unique combination of flavors. None of the ingredients were so strong that they overpowered the rest, rather they were all mild(ish) and comfortably shared the spotlight with each other. The butternut squash cubes gave it the most “wow”, and the Guajillo chiles surprised us with a flavor none of us had tried before. The filling alone would have made for great burritos, but the red onion & cucumber salsa added a strange but welcome flair to it.
5/7 Empty Skulls of My Enemies, my friends and I loved it!”

15995154_378754475817317_5715656881526000869_o

Above: Boss The Ross gave it a shot too.

“Recipe courtesy of Vladimir Poutine, beer courtesy of New Belgium, tunes courtesy of Clutch, shirt courtesy of Unspeakable Axe Records”.

Above: Joaquin Stick got in on the action as well!

Above: Joaquin Stick got in on the squash action as well!


So are you fucking hungry yet? Of course you are. Pick one (or more) of these meals out today and give it a shot. You don’t need to be a super chef, they’re all easy to follow and don’t require anything that you can’t find in a basic-ass kitchen or supermarket. Make sure you report back and let us know how it went!

(Image via)

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    Ayyy, that’s my picture! I’ve been meaning to try more of these out, thank you for the reminder.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY
  • Señor Jefe El Rosa
    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Municipal Waste is never on Frank’s menu, but here: have an upvote.

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        Thanks buddy!

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™
  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY
    • Eliza

      Good tunes.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Also, I know I’ll get some flack for this, I know it’s coming, but fuck it: no matter how displeasing and cringe I find their “visual key” appearance to be, I’ve re-jammed this album and its follow-up…and I must conclude that I not only find the specific brand of alt-metal on these two albums to be original, but also…GOOD.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LmNawNtWIE

      • Black Smallbeard

        theyve got some good stuff. and when it comes to power and powerish metal, the chinamen can do it rite

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          Japan does have some solid bands; Corrupted may be my favorite, but there’s also Coffins, Sabbat, Sigh, Boris…

          I’ve always kinda refrained from checking out Dir En Grey because I always saw them dressing up in those retarded outfits and stuff like that. But Uroboros and Dum Spiro Spero are actually quality stuff (if you keep an open mind to stuff like this of course) and batshit crazy at points.

          • Black Smallbeard

            i dont know how big you are on power metal but you could check out Galneryus

          • Black Smallbeard

            my fav band out of japan atm is easily Abigail

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I’m not that into power metal to be honest. I like Manilla Road (but I don’t really consider them “power metal”), Riot’s Thundersteel, the early Fates Warning albums with John Arch on vocals, classic Sanctuary, Savatage and Crimson Glory stuff, the first few Iced Earth albums, Blind Guardian and Kamelot. As for the rest I haven’t found much to my liking in that particular subgenre. Gamma Ray, Sabaton, Hammerfall, Edguy, Rhapsody, Stratovarius, Dragonforce, Powerwolf…all end up getting a nope from me.

          • Eliza

            No Helloween?

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Helloween is…their first few albums are all technically speaking good albums and Kiske is a great singer, but I’ve got one issue with them: they just sound a bit too “happy” sonically speaking. And I kinda hate when metal starts sounding “happy”. It may sound dark, aggressive, depressing, melancholic, violent, weird, crazy…I’m cool with all of that, but I’m not cool with it sounding “happy”. And that’s the issue I have with a lot of power metal…it just sounds so damn fruity a lot of times.

          • Eliza

            The happiness level on the first Helloween albums doesn’t bother me that much, speaking as someone who isn’t a huge fan of “happy” music either. Though, honestly, I’m more bothered by cheery music than happy music.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Cheery metal is literally the worst to me.

          • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

            I like Helloween but I can’t stand their song “Future World”. Its so happy Barney The Dinosaur could make a cover of it and it wouldn’t sound weird. Fuck that song

          • Black Smallbeard

            i like literally every band you listed

          • Waynecro

            Check out the filthy-sounding riff at 0:12. The solo that starts at about 1:45 is also sweet. This album (Arche) is fucking great.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVBradbc-dY

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yeah man, their Marilyn Manson-like appearance is cringe, but their music is pretty fucking good. I own Uroboros and Dum Spiro Spero, which I think are their best ones. I should give Arche another go.

          • Waynecro

            Yeah, there’s a lot to like once you get past their look. The version of “Zan” they play on Uroboros: With the Proof in the Name of Living… At Nippon Budokan is heavy as shit, and I really dig the singer’s unhinged vocals. For example, the screams he belts out at the end of this song (at about 4:01) are some of my favorite things in life.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOn3jfmfHFQ

      • Waynecro

        DIR EN GREY!!!

    • tigeraid

      That Psycroptic….. I’m not normally into this sort of death metal but… It’s alluring. I may have to give this album a listen.

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        In general I’m not a huge fan of modern tech-death either, but this album by Psycroptic is warped on all levels: the vocals, the riffs…they’re all weird as fuck. Too bad changes in line-up caused the band to start releasing mediocre stuff after this one.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        The vocals though

        • tigeraid

          And yet despite my hatred of such vocals, I listened to a whole track!

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      Been thinking about doing a Porcelain Throne for Brutal Truth

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        That’s an idea I can get behind!

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Do it

  • Black Smallbeard

    thats ok, i think ill have artery clogging hurt dogs for lunch while i play hateful ass black metal and prepare for death.

    i know ive asked this before, and i think maybe RJA said he had, but has anyone ever ordered from Ominous Domain before?

    • Stanley

      Lots of times. In my experience, they always ship the next day.

      • Black Smallbeard

        cool. but you also said MoD was fast lolol

        • Stanley

          True. Maybe it was the year end Christmas Black Metal shoppers slowing him down. lol.

          • Black Smallbeard

            no idea. it was packaged well and everything was nice. just took forever. that was one hell of a haul

    • RJA

      I just ordered some Drowning the Light stuff the other day! He upgraded my order to priority mail! Vinyl can be expensive but sometimes has stuff that can be hard to find other places – solid packaging.

      • Black Smallbeard

        dude, thats crazy man. ive been on a DtL ordering spree too! Great minds bro!

        • RJA

          I picked up a stack of DtL cd’s that either aren’t available in vinyl or are too damn expensive!

          • Black Smallbeard

            grabbed Diabolical Winter Spells 10, Lost Kingdoms of a Dark Age 10, Patron Saint of Filth and Mold 7, going to grab A Pact With Madness LP and one of these splits

          • RJA

            Nice – I have those 2 10″ – need to pick up the 7″ at some point

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      Repost.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Mine would make 3 then

  • bLizard of Oz, what are them craaaazy vegetables you’ve got in your Stanley Briskey?

  • Scrimm
  • tigeraid

    As a foodie and (half-decent) health nut, I applaud this content.

  • Sid Vicious Promos

    This food is too healthy. Here’s a recipe for Kevin Nash’s Famous Appetizer Sub

    1. You will need appetizers so go to the grocery store and buy the following
    -Potato Skins
    -Onion Rings
    -Poppers
    -Bagel Bites
    -Boneless Wings

    2. Preheat your oven and spray a cooking tray with your choice of cooking spray

    3. Follow the instructions on the boxes

    4. Take a loaf of bread and put in the appetizers in this order:

    -Boneless Wings
    -Poppers
    -Onion Rings
    -Bagel Bites
    -potato skins

    5. Enjoy!

    • Black Smallbeard

      lol jesus

      • Sid Vicious Promos

        I’m very anti health.

        • Being sickly and dying at an early age of preventable disease sounds fucking awesome.

          • Black Smallbeard

            if we all went back to dying at 30-40, no one would be bitching and moaning about old ass politicians ruining the lives of young democrats tho

          • Don’t get me wrong, I still think we should death panel old people.

          • Black Smallbeard
          • Rob M

            I think we should institute the 22 year late term abortion window

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIyUF3iEpMY

          • Sid Vicious Promos

            What the hell is that? That is one of the worst album covers I’ve ever seen.

          • Rob M

            Well..it is a comedy recording, not a band

          • Sid Vicious Promos

            I completely understand why now.

          • Count_Breznak

            Not efficient. Death panel everyone with a Twitter account. It reduces both the bitching and the reason of the bitching by approx. 99%. And since most of those people are rather healthy first world folks, you get lots of high quality donor organs and blood. Now when you also start the production of soilent green at the same time….

          • Max

            Finally, somebody talking sense.

          • Sid Vicious Promos

            I like to live fast. I don’t want to be here forever.

          • Black Smallbeard

            i think youre missing the parts of that lifestyle where you do a bunch of drugs, alcohol, smoke, and bang whoors tho. . .

            . . . man i kinda miss it

          • Sid Vicious Promos

            I’m like Lowell George without the drugs and alcohol. He sadly died at 34 though.

          • Sir Kookaburra The Based

            “I’m like Lowell George without the drugs and alcohol”
            And without musical abilties.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Tapir pls! JJD is the future of music!

          • Sir Kookaburra The Based

            and Jesus wept.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse
          • Sir Kookaburra The Based

            Guy looks like he forgot the safe word.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Dammit why didn’t you embed?!?

          • Black Smallbeard

            disqus been acting funny

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            …violently

          • Sid Vicious Promos

            Kookaburra plz! MIYH4 is so good!

          • KyleJMcBride

            Do not mock Mr In Your House.

          • more beer

            Well that is how it’s done!

          • KyleJMcBride

            Sorry, I’ll go with the drugs and herb instead of cholesterol OD.

    • KyleJMcBride

      Does this come with an IV of Lipitor?

      • Sid Vicious Promos

        No.

    • Sir Kookaburra The Based

      is it “famous” because it’s the leading cause of death in the USA?

      • Sid Vicious Promos

        Maybe.

    • Count_Breznak

      What the hell is a “cooking spray” ? Or did it went over my head and it was just to rhyme with “tray”.

  • Sid Vicious Promos

    Also when it comes to the sweet potato burritos can you replace them with mashed potatoes? I hate sweet potatoes.

    • atchdav

      I think the sweetness of the sweet potatoes balances the flavour profile of the dish. You could try smashed fingerling potatoes but it might throw things off

    • Sir Kookaburra The Based
    • KyleJMcBride

      Apparently Denny Laine played in my area Friday night.

      • Sid Vicious Promos

        Lucky. I missed him when he was here.

        • KyleJMcBride

          I didn’t see him. Regent Theater in Arlington gets a lot of old school off-the-wall Rock acts.

    • Rain Poncho W.

      That should work. It will have the same consistency but a different flavor.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      SVP plz! How could you hate sweet potato?

      • Sid Vicious Promos

        I hate the taste.

    • more beer

      Mash the sweet potato. Problem solved!

  • Rob M

    Anyone else check out the new Horror of Horrors album?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBNA5uEy_b0

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    This stuff looks like some good eats! Bravo all! I’m not a huge foodie myself so don’t have anything to add.

    I have a metal enquiry though. I was listening to A Forest of Stars last night and was reminded that I don’t have enough weird/experimental extreme metal that isn’t just unusual or creepy sounding but goes for some bombast and throws around some big melodies. What are some other bands I should check out?

    • CT-12

      Hadn’t heard of these guys, this is sick. But to get to your question, I’ll just throw some bands at a wall here and you can see what you dig. Aenaon, Virus, Cage of Creation. Death Knell Productions also seems to have a bunch of cool weird stuff.

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        I dig Virus, but haven’t encountered the others before. Am listening to now and they’re doing the trick for me. Unmistakable heaviness, but on a weird and wonderful trip. Thanks for the recs!

    • Dornenreich? Bergraven? …and Oceans? Devil Doll (not metal but still…)?

      • Count_Breznak

        Ugh, Dönerreich.

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        I’m not familiar with any of these, have only ever really hear of Dornenreich even. Cheers for the recs, shall investigate anon.

        • I think you will find Dornenreich’s Her von Welken Nachten delightful if you haven’t already heard it.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            High praise indeed! I’ve not heard it already, but I’ll report back.

    • Count_Breznak
      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        This is quite a splendid combination. Cheers!

  • CyberneticOrganism

    *makes frozen pizza*

  • Óðinn