I couldn’t really decide what video to break down for this week. Yeah, there were a few mediocre videos released this past week, but nothing that really jumped out (well, not counting this steaming pile of garbage). Even checking the usual bad video offenders turned up fairly blah results. I decided to get creative in youtube searching and came across something, well, interesting.
Sumo Cyco is a female-fronted punkish hard rockish band from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. The band’s first show was opening for Hollywood Undead. That fact manages to be impressive and depressive at the same time. The band has released one full-length album, Lost In Cyco City, back in 2014. For whatever reason, the band has released not one, but two new music videos for that album. In 2016. According to their Wikipedia, the band has released 13 videos (not including the two new ones). One album, close to 20 music videos. That’s…wow. I guess we should see if their videos are just so incredible that it would be a crime against nature if they were not made.
0:01: Cyco content? So the content is full of bad spelling?
0:04: It’s worth noting that this video is connected to the other one they just released. Just in case you didn’t want to miss any crucial parts of the story.
0:09: Thanks for participating, Hella!
0:14: This shit is bananas. S-H-I-T bananas!
0:17: NO ANIME!
0:21: See, this is why you’re not supposed to eat White Castle before going to bed.
0:25: DC Comics is going to sue someone for this infringement.
0:30: Whoa, was he sitting on a spring-loaded couch cushion?
0:32: He’s not hurt, his chest is just crying.
0:39: This is why businesses need to use E-Verify before hiring someone.
0:44: This guy loves brutal slamming death metal and Webkinz.
0:48: Cosplayers are getting out of control.
0:52: Now that’s just a waste of magical bullets.
0:55: I SAID NO ANIME!
0:59: That’s what you get for wearing a knock-off Pittsburgh Steelers jersey.
1:09: I suppose we should be happy that Gummi Bear over here isn’t the one wearing the maid outfit.
1:13: Man, some people do not like losing at beer pong.
1:18: The sunglasses help hide his tears.
1:24: Looks like someone needs a little more “crowd” control.
1:27: You can lose an eye that way.
1:30: Hahaha yeah that’s totally how people fall when they’re shot.
1:35: Just have a racist 14 year old yell over this video and you have the official online gaming experience.
1:40: Those bullets are so magical they cause people to die without bleeding.
1:43: So the band can count, but they can’t spell.
1:46: And I thought the American public school system was bad.
1:52: Oh, a Kid Rock cameo.
1:57: The giant skulls were more for hiding shame than for symbolism.
2:00: For some reason, this video makes me want to watch the Goosebumps TV show.
2:04: Maybe it’s all the “na-na-nahs.” They kind of match up with the intro music.
2:07: Video directed by Quentin Tarantino.
2:12: Yes, please shoot me.
2:20: It was nice of one of their parents to let them shoot in their townhouse.
2:28: You’re better off hiding in the toilet.
2:33: Do people know know how to use door knobs in Hamilton, Ontario?
2:43: This is getting dark real fast.
2:49: This is also getting Pretty Reckless.
2:53 NO ANIME!
2:55: Giant bobble heads are okay though.
3:03: This video is definitely on a perverted businessman’s computer labeled as “2014 Quarterly Projections.”
3:08: Wait, so they bleed now?
3:17: Hey, we saw him close those doors just a few seconds ago.
3:21: I’m calling shenanigans on this scenario!
3:29: If this were real life, that shower would be a lot dirtier right now.
3:34: It turns out their heads are full of ripe heirloom tomatoes.
3:43: She’s going to have to clean up that mess if she wants to keep her maid job.
3:49: Where did all that blood come from? Did they cut out the scene where she disembowels the bodies and throws around their organs like streamers?
3:56: Ugh, Mondays.
4:00: “Yes, I played “Butt #1” in Sumo Cyco’s music video.
4:09: Dollar Store Black Mask.
4:15: Oh goodie.
Sumo Cyco’s album Lost In Cyco City is available now