Strong Scene Productions: The Toilet Goes Shopping!

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If you’re here you probably like to listen to the heaviest, most brütalest music around. But are you kvlt enovgh to wear it? Strong Scene Productions is so metal that retailers just can’t avoid the grasp of their mighty repertoire. Also this is the first time I’ve written in a long while, so I hope you will all chip in your Good Boy Points™ and get me some BBQ sauce for my chicken tendies.

What is there to a scene? Is it something created by a bunch of friends who enjoyed hanging out and playing music, which after a while got word-of-mouthed and shared across the world? Of course not. Why would somebody do that? Where is the profit in it? A scene is made out of the kind of cultural identity that can only be achieved via dressing and acting the same as everyone else who belongs to it. We live in a world where you most probably know someone who looks like this (I know I do). So it would only be fitting for the big cats of the business world cater to the metal scene, instead of discriminating against us.

img1
It is about time to take it to the streets!

It’s impossible not to appreciate what a particular clothing retailer is doing for the metal scene. Even after providing consumers with trvly kvlt merol shirts, now H&M have proven to us they have accepted Satan as their lord and saviour by producing battle clothing with the logos of bands from the trve vndergrovnd merol label Strong Scene Productions.

Have you heard of Crepuscular? They’re a mexican war metal band from 1991. I guess you haven’t, nor have your friends. In fact, I know you haven’t. You aren’t trve enovgh.

These guys are so kvlt they don’t even have an Encyclopedia Metallum page. Only poser bands like Randy have one. Do you even know Metal? Every single band out there worth a damn cites them as an influence. I bet you don’t even listen to Lany.

I think we as metalheads should show the world that we are consumers just like everyone else, that we will buy whatever they offer us if it will make us the envy of the rest of the scene. For a relatively new label, Strong Scene Productions is taking over the world. Not only have they signed bands with years of experience, but they’ve also been name dropped in huge sources of all things metal, like Blabbermouth (which I’m told is a metal blog). I hope that as soon as they notice how much traffic they’re getting they will go into making all kinds of stuff: t-shirts, shoes, socks, condoms, etc. I’ll hate myself for all eternity if I don’t get buried in an Yvaeh casket.

 

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  • The Beargod

    I somehow am under the impression Trollhorn confessed or some such. Or maybe I have been lied to.

  • Dr. Dubz

    I’m mirin’. You can mire too.

  • Edward/Breegrodamus

    DAT FEATURED IMAGE

    • … is sxy as fck!

      GL

    • Dagon

      It just occurred to me, do you think Rho chose who got which character based on personality?

      Cause I think Samantha suits me better than Miranda

      http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-05/enhanced/webdr06/14/2/anigif_enhanced-8983-1400049534-21.gif

      • Edward/Breegrodamus

        Maybe it was just whose heads fit the best, lol

        • Dagon

          I may have watched Sex In The City in its entirety. Never caught the second film though. #toiletconfessions

          • i was roped into watching the second film. it is hilariously bad and offensive to middle eastern culture.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            It’s offensive to anything multi-cellular.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I watched the whole series and both movies with an ex-girlfriend.

          • more beer

            You`re a loving guy compared to me. When my chick goes shopping I tell her what bar stool she can find me in when she`s done.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            Sadly, I watched it on a date. The horror and torture you have to endure sometimes to get some nuck nuck! The movie is beyond awful; like Gigli or Citizen Kane kind of bad.

  • Dagon

    I like how I got promoted to go shopping with our golden girls. Makes me feel, like, so accomplished.
    *Vocal fry off.

  • Dagon

    One can only hope for more metal condoms.

  • Dr. Dubz

    So, I think Joe tried to email them about the Hitler imagery. Lolbuttz ensued.

    • Tyree
    • Dagon

      Pics appreciated.

    • I confronted him about the NSBM imagery and asked for a statement. He claimed it didn’t exist. I showed him screenshots of it and asked who he really is. He got mad.

      • Guacamole Jim

        The plot thickens!

        (I’m so confused about this whole thing, tbh)

        • The guy behind it is Henri Sorvali (Moonsorrow/Finntroll). It was intended to be some kind of artistic statement but as elaborate as the project is, I don’t think the central concept was thought out very well. Verdict: lolbuttz.

          • Paris Hilton

            A metal musician tried to hide a shitty, kinda racist opinion behind artistic statement and freedom of speech!? NO WAY!! I find that too hard to believe…

          • If anything, I think he should have gone full NSBM/pornogrind with the bands. It would make a stronger satirical statement on packaging and selling a subculture. Stepping down from controversial stuff watered down his message.

          • Guacamole Jim
          • Tyree

            This movie fucking sucked.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Of course it does, it had Dirk Diggler.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Boogie Nights is the shit though.

          • KJM

            Boogie Nights features some of the highest people ever, especially the “Sister Christian” scene.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I love thar movie as well as the movie Blow.

          • Dagon

            Great film.

          • Tyree
          • Edward/Breegrodamus
          • Tyree
          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair
          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Valid.

          • Tyree

            It did have some awesome suicide scenes though.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Not enough.

          • Tyree

            This is true. Never enough suicide.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Pretty sure you’re trying to start a war between Boston and Detroit, and Bostonians will definitely smoke that ass!

            Mark, Matt and Ben are fucking Gods and we’ll defend them to the death.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Nope. But they can collectively go fuck themselves. They’re all terrible actors.

          • KJM

            They kinda sorta embody everything I hated about living in Somerville during the 80s though, at least the characters they play.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Mark hasn’t done a bad movie…ever! Dude goes comedy, action, drama… it doesn’t matter. When he gets bored he produces Boardwalk empire…sheeeeeeeeet!

          • Scrimm

            The Crappening.

          • Side note: You ever see the movie Shooter? With him in it? It was really good! It is on the Netlix

          • Guacamole Jim

            Actually, I think I have seen that. I remember it being good, but not much more than that..

          • Rho Stone

            In all seriousness, if we wanted we could make our own fake labels and promote fake bands and go full on no brakes in the lolbuttz train. At least visually and musically they didn’t make something to hard to replicate. What I don’t know is how to make it go boom, I guess posting it on reddit?

          • I support this tom-foolery. Or should I say lolbuttzfoolery?

            What can I do to help support this endeavor?

          • Rho Stone

            We need:
            1. visual flair people. They have to do the logos, flyers, anything where graphic design is involved.
            2. musicians. Pretty obvious, they write and record the songs
            3. social media people. They run the accounts, they’re in charge of the lolbuttz.
            4. The target(s). This is crucial, we must ask ourselves: who needs to have 50 pornogrind bands knocking on his door? Whose PR team will behave the most lolbuttz?

            We would have enough GBP for five blowey joeys each, at least.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            Moonsorrow got into some shit a while back about their use of runes and Neo-Nazism. Turned out to be complete bullshit though. But if he did actually use Nazi imagery this time around, it’s definitely not helping their case.

  • Dagon

    This was a great read, Rho. I think the tone used in the article knocked it out of the park.

    Or maybe I just like the featured image because I’m in it. Who knows?

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      It was a great read.

      • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

        The articles thus far have been superb, from everyone.

  • Paris Hilton

    H & M comes out with billionth piece of metal merch! Metalheads become butthurt and it blows up over the metalsphere and unintentionally gives them free advertising- again. The H & M marketing team high five and do blow- again. What happened next left me speechless.

    -Buzzfeed on the H & M vest

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      I bet the H & M marketing team does mad blow, that Peruvian fishscale kinda blow.

  • I LOVE CHICKEN TENDIES.

    W, THANKS FOR MAKING THIS A THING.

    GL

    • Dr. Dubz

      I take no credit. Blame the cesspit 4chan.

      • is 4chan a commenter here? *confused*

        • Guacamole Jim

          You don’t know what 4chan is?? For real?

          • Uh… I just googled it. Never heard of it! Do not banish me, friend!

          • Dr. Dubz

            DON’T GO THERE ON A WORK COMPUTER!

          • “4chan is a simple image-based bulletin board where anyone can post comments and share images anonymously.”

            I garnered enough by the statement above!

          • Dr. Dubz

            I mean, I wouldn’t recommend going there anyway. Other aggregate sites like Reddit typically sift through all the awful stuff to find the gems of humor.

          • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

            reddit.com/r/4chan

          • Dr. Dubz

            Aye, crustacean. Aye.

          • YOUR NAME>>>>>>>>. WHOA!

            GL

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            I’ll stick with Fark.com, like I have for the last 13 years.

          • Guacamole Jim

            It’s where probably 90% of the internet’s shittiest shit has come from. There’s some seriously funny stuff that crops up, but it’s hard to find between the racism, paedophilia, sexism, and general asshattery.

          • Asshattery is a word I would call “A good word.”

            GL

          • Paris Hilton

            I’ve made a pledge to never visit 4chan or reddit… Fresh Web content be damned! I can’t fucking stand either of those sites and their adult baby fanbases

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            4chan is love, 4chan is life.

          • MetaphysicalAnus!

            GL

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Where?

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            No it isnt. Im too normal to like 4chan.

          • Guacamole Jim

            That’s a good motto.. I used to cruise /b/ many years ago, back before bronies were a thing. I saw CP there once. Never went back.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            That reminds me of the time I ventured to deep web.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            Hell, Fark even stopped taking submissions regarding 4Chan. Considering how the feds have been on them, I doubt it’ll be around much longer. It’s pretty much a leper colony for the absolute worst people with an internet connection.

          • and, i learned from a buddy of mine, murderers.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            Especially considering that the feds have been investigating them over kiddie porn and various other illegal activities. Not exactly a site with the best reputation out there.

  • more beer

    It appears the guy responsible wears a burlap potato sack. There is a picture of him on that other site. He has such a great fashion sense. Who wouldn`t believe what he has to say on the subject.

  • J.R.

    Joe got dem legs and dem collar bones.
    ’nuff to drive a man insane

    • Tyree

      That one green boob too.

  • The Beargod

    Total non-sequitur: Pulling an Edward about now. P excited.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      Pulling an Edward?!

      • The Beargod

        Second date this week. With different chick. It’s in the dictionary as “pulling an Edward” look it up, mang.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          Haha, yeah man stay on that grind.

        • Lacertilian

          Remember to keep your claws clean BearGod

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

    I’ll just leave this here.

    http://www.toxicvision.bigcartel.com/products

    • Tyree

      David Vincent must shop here.

      • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

        Most of her stuff is just for women. There was a pair of unisex sweaters, one of which I would totally have rocked if it didn’t instantly sell out and/or cost $225.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          I was looking at the prices on that stuff, my lawd.

        • Dr. Dubz

          Sweaters >>>>>>>>>

          • sweater vests >>>>>>>>

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I have a sweater vest. It makes me feel sexy.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            FEATURED COMMENT

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I second that.

          • plz.

          • Dr. Dubz

            You better believe I have at least one. Two if you count my chest hair as a natural sweater vest.

          • Dagon
          • *HUUUUUUUUURK*

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I feel violated by looking at that.

          • Dr. Dubz

            When the hair first started growing on my shoulders I waxed it, but that was a losing battle. I have since embraced the fur.

          • Dagon
          • Dr. Dubz

            All true.

          • I stopped reading at “ball sacks and grizzly backs”.

            GL

          • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love
          • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love
          • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

            A hood that could actually cover my MODOK sized head>>>>>>>

          • Dr. Dubz
          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            He is my favorite supervillian.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            Is that a toilet behind him?!?!

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            I almost bought a sweet Dale of Norway sweater once at a Scandinavian specialty shop near me. They are possibly the best sweaters on earth. However, I about-faced and realized spending $700 on a sweater was probably not the most fiscally responsible move.

            But I do love me some sweaters. Argyle, wool, cashmere… ahh cashmere.

          • Dr. Dubz

            I’d like to think I’m not any more materialistic than the next person, but lately my wife has been taking me to Jos. A Bank to shop for sweaters and update my wardrobe. My sweater lust has grown immensely. Too bad summer is right around the corner.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            I have a bunch of ties from Jos. A. Bank. My tie fetish is slightly more intense/debilitating than my sweater one.

            Though I like wearing sweaters, I wholeheartedly welcome the coming summer. These single digit temps in the morning are getting really old, and it would be nice to get rid of this motherfucking snow. Been brutal.

        • Tyree
    • Tyree

      Everything is sold out.

      • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

        It seems her standard operating procedure is to announce on Facebook when a new collection is being released, and those items tend to sell out on that day. I guess she makes stuff in very limited quantities. Either that, or it’s all just a ruse to show off that hot bod of hers.

  • Tyree
    • Dagon

      One of the most punchable faces in show biz

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        I want to just wail on his face like it’s Jeff Goldblum.

        • Tyree
          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Not my nemesis!

        • Dr. Dubz

          I’m very confused by this statement. You don’t like Jeff Goldblum?

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I hate him so much.

          • gtfo

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            He’s the worst. He ruined The Lost World by being in it.

          • The Lost World was ruined by existing.

          • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love

            Even when I was a kid and saw it in theaters, I HATED Jurassic Park.

          • DoYouThinkHeSaurus

            So, you know, try to show a little respect.

          • more beer

            That`s the Supreme leader of the world. He owes no one respect. Not even a dinosaur with sunglasses!

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            They are highly revered here in Best Korea. Several of them are members of Parliament here.

          • more beer

            Only as long as they are eating, shitting on them, or stomping them though.

          • do you still hate it? i need to know why. it’s like a perfect film.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            Yep, I still do.

          • more beer

            But there is something to be said about a lawyer getting snatched up off a toilet seat and eaten by a dinosaur.

          • Dr. Dubz

            I love the first one. It’s one of the few movies that I will always watch if it’s on. Forrest Gump is also on that list.

          • more beer

            I have a few on that list Shawshank Redemption, Scarface, The Godfather, and Fight Club, also Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

          • Dr. Dubz

            Some quality choices, my man. I think you could add Super Troopers and Office Space to that list for me.

          • more beer

            You too my friend. Hope becoming a doctor is treating you well. I have a bunch of doctor friends. So I know how hard you worked for that. I think it`s pretty awesome you are still here. Plus you have good taste in music and movies. Cheers to you

          • Dr. Dubz

            I’m in a fun stage where I’m not trying to pursue a tenure faculty position at the moment, so I can just focus on writing more papers. Thanks for the well wishes!

          • more beer

            No problem you have earned them. Taking your time and writing and finding the right place for you sounds like a solid plan.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            And Master Of Disguise! I saw Shakes The Clown on tv a while back and joyfully sat through it.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            Ok, credit given on that one! If only the entire thing was dinosaurs eating people, or at least shitting on them.

            http://i1371.photobucket.com/albums/ag299/enchiridion86/ulx42kx96fyrijjvbuu0_zps7orviywn.gif

          • more beer

            Or even just stomping them out.

          • You know who I hate? Jeff Gordon. What a tool.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Im not a huge Nascar guy. I always liked Dale Jarrett though.

          • I am not anymore. Dale Jarret was always classy! Kyle Petty was my favorite – I haven’t watched a race in yeeearrs.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I used to watch it because my sisters ex lover Nascar. I don’t anymore.

          • I watched this years Daytona 500. It was a lot of fun! Made me miss watching it more…

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Who won? I don’t keep track.

          • Joey Logano.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            At least Keslowski didn’t win. I hate him.

          • ETJ,FT: no lifeloving today!

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I have work at 4. I’m happy that I have a job now and it’s in a mall with a really good Nathans and other good food.

          • congrats broseph! (and yes Nathans are incredible)

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Thank you. It’s an awesome Nathans as it has Arthur Treachers who makes awesome fried fish. They also have an Kenny Rogers Roasters Express with good chicken tendies and an awesome chicken sandwich.

          • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love

            You gotta know when to hold, know when to fold, to take your tendies and walk away.

          • Dr. Dubz

            You should pack some lunches, dude. Will help you save money and be healthier for you.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I don’t eat a lot for lunch or dinner when I am working. Yesterday I had two corn dogs and a pack of cupcakes. I also have a saved amount for food.

          • That is absurdly unhealthy.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            That’s all I eat for the day though.

          • While limited your calories is good, you’re not getting the things your body needs from corn dogs and cupcakes.

          • Tyree

            Beer.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I dont drink.

          • What did the corndogs have on them? We need to get to the bottom of this.

          • MoshOff

            I’m no expert, but I suspect corn and dogs.

          • !!!!!!!!!! *tearing up with laughter*

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair
          • more beer

            A well balanced meal. Tonight I added some potatoes to the diet and had some vodka also.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I drink a lot of water and milk.

          • Dagon

            Nah, man. You need to get vegetables in your life, along with a more balanced diet. Trade the corn dogs for meat that’s not processed nor fried. At least for the majority of your meals.

          • Dr. Dubz

            I love carbs and sugar as much as the next guy, but you’ve gotta treat your body right. In my lunch today I have carrots, dried pineapple, oranges, and a ham/cheese/mushroom/lettuce sandwich. A few chips for flavor too.

          • Tyree

            Aw, shit. Forgot my damn lunch today.

          • more beer

            Beer will fix that.

          • Lacertilian

            Liquid lunch!

          • more beer

            Hell yea!!

          • MoshOff

            That sandwich sounds enticing prez.

          • Dr. Dubz

            I cooked it up last night to give it a slight grilled cheese effect.

          • Dagon

            It’s all about balance.

          • @joshuathackston:disqus, @george_lynch:disqus, and i are with you on this one:
            http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/archive/e/e7/20140620164313!Van_Halen_-_Balance.jpg

          • Scrimm

            DOWNVOTED

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair
          • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love

            Exactly. A Big Mac or junk food here and there isn’t bad, but when it becomes your whole diet, you’re gonna feel any number of health problems. I basically keep to small portions throughout the day, especially if it’s not something quite as healthy. And I keep alot of grains (mainly couscous and rice) in my diet, which flushes everything out.

          • I would replace the mushroom with cottage cheese. Not that you asked or anything, lol. Sounds good though!

            GL

          • Dr. Dubz

            There’s a wee bit of feta cheese on it. And garlic.

          • Truth, load up on fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds. It makes a world of difference in your overall health.

          • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love

            Load up on nuts…………..

            http://i.imgur.com/ZhkfxJy.jpg

          • Scrimm

            Say hello to early death for me.

          • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love

            Lies, I tell you, lies!!!! Next you’re gonna say you don’t need to put cheese and bacon on everything!

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            sounds like a John Cougar Mellencamp album

          • Lacertilian

            JJD’s body needs no vitamins, for it to be considered food it must end in ‘-ose’.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            This is the type of classic JJD comment I’ve been missing. Thank you.

          • more beer

            I spent a lot of time at the Nathans on Central Ave in Yonkers as a kid.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I like the Nathans at my mall even though it’s really expensive. I eat there relatively often.

          • more beer

            You know what I like about Nascar? Rednecks dying in fiery crashes!

          • Dr. Dubz

            Nascar is one of the last things I expected to ever pop up in discussion here.

          • Dirt track racing is reeaaallllyy big around my parts. So, Nascar was always big too.

          • more beer

            I`m all for running moonshine though. Those guys need to put those driving skills to a better use.

          • Lacertilian

            Nascar is the one where they drive in a circle for hours on end right?
            That shit looks monotonous for both fan & driver, regardless of speed.

          • Dr. Dubz
          • Stockhausen

            Jeff Goldblum rules.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Consider the cunting source.

          • Dr. Dubz

            I didn’t know if it was an innuendo or something.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            C’mon doc, don’t play coy with me.

          • Dr. Dubz

            I cannot resist your wiles.

          • KJM

            Except for Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, his acting ranges from “confused Jewish guy” to “flustered, annoyed Jewish guy”.

          • Dr. Dubz

            That’s part of the charm, though.

          • KJM

            Yeah, but you’re not getting much of a range there. I also have to say he is particularly annoying in Jurassic Park.

        • uh… i’m afraid we can’t be friends

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Are you going to disown me as well?

          • disliking jeff goldblum…that’s a paddlin’

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Paddle me hard.

          • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love
          • Count_Breznak
          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            That was straight up doggy doo. Sorry.

          • Count_Breznak

            Ask, and ye shall receive.

          • Lacertilian

            I’m really surprised @do_you_think_he_saurus:disqus isn’t onto this yet with another poignant quote

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Jimmy plz!

          • Scrimm

            But we can right?

          • join me in love of Goldblum and dislike for Motley Crue

          • Scrimm

            Only if you stop ignoring when I tag you in the fb group:P

          • oi, if i don’t log onto FB after a few days i totes forget about it. i can’t wait to see what all i’ve been missing tonight!

          • Scrimm

            horrible crap

          • more beer

            Upvote for the Oi!

        • Scrimm

          Jeff Goldblum would beat your ass.

          • Tyree

            Truth.

        • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love

          I wanna use his head for a speed bag while I doggy style Rhianna.

      • Dagon
        • IronLawnmower

          Keep me away from that cretin!

      • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love
    • I’d bet his entire earnings he only wore that just one time.

    • more beer

      I think I need to kill this guy if I ever see him. I`m okay with him beating that chick……….. But this is punishable by death! I hope Harley Flanagan see`s him first and stabs him in the neck!!

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    I work across from a H&M. I never see metal merch in there.

    • Guacamole Jim

      You gotta dig in their product to find it, but it’s a thing. H&M is awesome if you want basic level t-shirts.

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        I’ll check next time I’m there. It’s right across from the Old Navy I worm at which is next to a Best Buy.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    govt funded media psyop—-to place agenda 21 perspective into the media–on subjects like cocaine—

    psychic metal assimilation association—to create a new “safe” perspective of metal—using repetition of false pretenses—and misdirection–using obvious poser shit—

    to brainwash music fans—-while they are focusing on the obvious shittiness—

    inserting propaganda

    both at once–full vol

    https://youtu.be/bU2srODhfCM
    https://youtu.be/9SOryJvTAGs

    • Tyree

      That’s pretty fucked dude.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQVrLt3Bv1E

      • Lacertilian

        Blood Duster are fucking awesome live, I’ve never headbanged while laughing my guts up before, good times.

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      I’ve never been a B52s fan. I always preferred INXS or The Human League.

      • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love

        More of an Clock DVA fan myself. Human League’s (before they went pop) one keyboardist went on to form that. Oh, and the main songwriter for HL’s old band, The Rezillos, was FUCKING AWESOME!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q12VC5CDxdI&list=PLTzjTOahruPIficOqr5Wrtdh8bD_tUREK

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          I’ve heard of Clock DVA but never the other one.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            Check ’em out (that’s a playlist, btw). They’re fun, experimental punk, and their main guy went on to write all the hits for Human League.

    • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love

      First video looks ALOT like some of the krokodil videos I’ve seen. Gruesome stuff.

    • TheCheezFace

      Love Shack is overrated, Rock Lobster FTW.

  • Vince Neil defines Trve Metuhl™.

    Crüe was the first band to display the pentagram while pose-out Venom were still picking up instruments going “what are these for?”

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      Did you hear about the new WASP album? It comes out in August. I’m so excited.

      • BLACKY NEEDS TO QUIT.

        GL

        • DON DOKKEN NEEDS TO QUIT.

          GL

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I agree.

          • Terrible singing. TERRIBLE. If Dokken ever did a classic lineup tour I wouldn’t go because of the vocals.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeP1lrGTknE

          • I heart Dokken from their glory days tho.

          • <3 I wasn't there, but I feel ya!

            GL

          • Doesn’t matter if you were there or not. You don’t have to belong to a certain generation to love the music because good music is timeless and for everybody.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            His voice is so badly shot they should hold a funeral for it and put an arrest warrant out for the culprit who murdered his voice.

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          No he doesnt. I worship at the altar of Wasp and I always will!

          • You stick to your principles. Stay classy JJD!

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I can’t hate them. They’re just too good and The Crimson Idol spoke to my soul when I had a rough patch. The only other album that did that was The Holy Bible by Manic Street Preachers.

          • They spoke to my rough when I had a soul patch.

          • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love
          • what do you think of Chris Holmes’ solo stuff, like “Lie, Cheat, and Steal” and “Let It Roar”?

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I love all things any member of WASP does.

        • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love

          That’s either Blacky or the crazy cat lady up the street.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            yoga pants?

      • I did. W.A.S.P. destroys all latter-day tryhards.

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          I hope they come back to the US. They might even come to my area again.

    • Scrimm

      Venom never did figure that out.

      • They figured out how to pose with them though.

        Admittedly Nikki Sixx was a reputedly bad bassist at first but at least he gained some proficiency over time. Plus he’s the mastermind/songwriter for one of the most successful acts in heavy music. Vince Neil’s voice is pretty much gone for anything but ballads now but he sang well in his prime. I saw them in 1987 and he was good. Final Tour? …hit or miss.

        • Scrimm

          Hahah Yes they did. Can’t speak on the Crue, hate them with a passion.

      • more beer

        But they always said they couldn`t play. So that`s really a non issue.

    • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love

      Vince has come for your tendies! He can have my tendies………when he pries them from my cold, dead, greasy arteries!

    • Lacertilian
  • Behold, the greatest heavy metal anthem of all time:

    https://youtu.be/TaivSqwgAvk

      • No.

        • Likewise

          • But we have to agree that Nails isn’t traditional heavy metal in any sense. They’re an extreme sub-genre which IMO disqualifies them from having anything that resembles an “anthem.”

            Not speaking to the quality of their music at all. It’s subjective in that respect.

          • That’s fair.

          • The song you posted is actually pretty cool. Not just saying that to be all ecumenical and shit. It’s good.

          • more beer

            See Nails if you get the chance. Saw them at Denver Black Sky last year. There were a lot of killer bands including the last Brutal Truth set ever and they blew everyone away. Best set of the weekend.

        • My dad (age 55) told me about a week ago… “Ya know Keith, I have hated Quite Riot since day one… but… that Metal Health song is catchy as hell”. Me to my dad “Really? It has only taken you 30+ years to figure this out?”

          GL

          • A lot of ppl hated QR even back in ’84. I remember trying to trade some kid a QR shirt for this kickass Dio Last in Line shirt he was wearing and he informed me that Quiet Riot sucked ass and that DuBrow needed to shut his trap.

          • Whoa! Tough words.

            Also, I have never figured out the whole Dio love thing. Dio’s first two solo albums were OK, but I never loved the production on them -especially for the time. What are your thoughts on the production of those albums?

          • The production was pretty weak. I love Dio but I think he probably messed them up himself. …kinda like Ozzy did by turning his vocals way up in the mix.

          • He produced all his albums too – I thought. Oh well. The guitar tone is so cringe worthy. I get pissed off just thinking about it.

          • lol. IDK, man. I don’t think I ever really hated the guitar tone but I guess I’m used to hearing it as it is.

          • Scrimm

            I don’t really think of guitar tone when that voice is involved.

          • I liked Vivian Campell’s style. He was a lot better than Craig Goldy who replaced him after Sacred Heart.

            Vivian’s guitar solo ripped when I saw him sitting in with Whitesnake in ’87.

          • Scrimm

            I agree, much better guitar player.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            raising my hand….

          • Haha.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            LOL…the striped pants used to bug me too!

          • They were trying so hard to ape the glam bands of the 70s *COUGH* Slade 😛

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            haha

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      I have a mirror with the Metal Health album cover on it. I’m proud to have it.

      • do you cut your cocaine on it?

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          No. I dont do drugs.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Sincere question: Why not? Drugs = the Best.

          • Nancy Reagan told me a long time ago to just say no.

          • Herr Schmitty

            I’ve actually based my life on doing the opposite of what the Reagan family thinks is good for America. Hasn’t failed me yet!

          • more beer

            That is a solid approach to life.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I don’t do drugs due to knowing people who have had drug problems and some who died because of it.

          • Maik Beninton

            Because: no drugs = the bestest

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            You. I like you.

          • Maik Beninton

            The Tapir likes me, OMG.

        • If I did cocaine I would have to do it on such a mirror RIP Kevin DuBrow.

          • I got to see them (the shell of them anyway) back in 2007 before he died. Fun times!

          • Wish I could’ve seen them one last time. They were my first concert in 1984.

    • Tyree
      • NO.

        • Tyree

          I got two capital letters in my “NO”.

          • Due to my well-known and long-standing hatred of Venom. Nails I can tolerate if I’m feeling it.

          • Tyree

            Well, there are many other classics that I enjoy that you do to.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkraWG-a_AI

          • Dude, I just found a mint copy of Saints & Sinners on vinyl for like four bucks. Sounds fucking amazing.

          • Tyree

            Shit man, congrats dude. I don’t have anything by them on vinyl. Come spring and summer time, I’m going to check out some flee markets.

          • Dr. Dubz

            Did I tell you I found an old copy of
            In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida on vinyl at a store in Colorado for really cheap? I deftly snatched it up.

    • Scrimm

      This was the first album I ever bought.

    • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love

      Joe’s favorite metal anthem *runs and jumps into my freshly dug foxhole*

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfB7vF7nCdA

  • Dr. Dubz

    Joe, mind sharing some of the screenshots?

    • There’s not really much to it, other than what I said below. You guys would most likely be annoyed by my tone, though. I went full on “asshole journalist”.

      • Herr Schmitty

        That’s legitimately my favorite journalistic tone. Too many journalists today are puta-level pushovers, not enough hard questions that engender hatred and controversy. I’m now more interested than ever in seeing this.

        • Dagon

          Biggest power in the world right now is the power to be offended.

          Gimme that Newsroom type bully reporter any day.

        • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love

          *cough Metal Hammer cough*

  • Sounds more like Weak Scene Productions.

  • Chicken Tender Gulag O Love
    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      hahaha

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Fools, they should know real metal heads wear no clothes, only metal!

  • Bitchin’ article. Speaking of metal encyclopedia being for posers, I guess my band aren’t posers as we got rejected with a very rude reply:

    • omg this is hilarious.

    • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

      Wait, does your band actually only do covers?

      The M-A webmasters Hellblazer and Morrigan as well as most the mods are notoriously curmudgeonly and gruff. Don’t take their response to heart.

      • I didn’t take it to heart. My “band” is more or less a joke band, often parodying power metal and making dick jokes. Our first two albums were all covers but we started writing material and ended up recorded about 20 albums of original content. It is terrible quality and none of the actual instrumentals are ours. We don’t really put up any of the music as A) We don’t want to deal with social justice warriors telling us who we can and can’t make fun of B) We don’t own anything except the lyrics, vocals, and album artwork.

        • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

          Yeah, as you know, M-A can be sticklers. They also don’t have much for a sense of humor, and absolutely loathe joke bands.

          They are a tremendous resource. There is non greater resource for metal anywhere–on the internet or in real life. But sometimes they are a pain in the ass.

    • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair
  • Lacertilian

    Damn @joethrashnkill:disqus, you look bangin’ in that green dress. Shame about the head though.
    You’re a prawn: good body, shit head.