Strong Scene Productions: The Toilet Goes Shopping!

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If you’re here you probably like to listen to the heaviest, most brütalest music around. But are you kvlt enovgh to wear it? Strong Scene Productions is so metal that retailers just can’t avoid the grasp of their mighty repertoire. Also this is the first time I’ve written in a long while, so I hope you will all chip in your Good Boy Points™ and get me some BBQ sauce for my chicken tendies.

What is there to a scene? Is it something created by a bunch of friends who enjoyed hanging out and playing music, which after a while got word-of-mouthed and shared across the world? Of course not. Why would somebody do that? Where is the profit in it? A scene is made out of the kind of cultural identity that can only be achieved via dressing and acting the same as everyone else who belongs to it. We live in a world where you most probably know someone who looks like this (I know I do). So it would only be fitting for the big cats of the business world cater to the metal scene, instead of discriminating against us.

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It is about time to take it to the streets!

It’s impossible not to appreciate what a particular clothing retailer is doing for the metal scene. Even after providing consumers with trvly kvlt merol shirts, now H&M have proven to us they have accepted Satan as their lord and saviour by producing battle clothing with the logos of bands from the trve vndergrovnd merol label Strong Scene Productions.

Have you heard of Crepuscular? They’re a mexican war metal band from 1991. I guess you haven’t, nor have your friends. In fact, I know you haven’t. You aren’t trve enovgh.

These guys are so kvlt they don’t even have an Encyclopedia Metallum page. Only poser bands like Randy have one. Do you even know Metal? Every single band out there worth a damn cites them as an influence. I bet you don’t even listen to Lany.

I think we as metalheads should show the world that we are consumers just like everyone else, that we will buy whatever they offer us if it will make us the envy of the rest of the scene. For a relatively new label, Strong Scene Productions is taking over the world. Not only have they signed bands with years of experience, but they’ve also been name dropped in huge sources of all things metal, like Blabbermouth (which I’m told is a metal blog). I hope that as soon as they notice how much traffic they’re getting they will go into making all kinds of stuff: t-shirts, shoes, socks, condoms, etc. I’ll hate myself for all eternity if I don’t get buried in an Yvaeh casket.

 

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