Spite – Leeches: A Video Breakdown

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Spite the hand that feeds.

Spite is a deathcore band from… hell, it doesn’t say it on their Facebook page, so I’ll just say they’re from ChuggityChug, Wyoming. The band is signed to Stay Sick Records. If that name sounds slightly familiar, like the belched-up remnants of what you had for breakfast, that is because Stay Sick Records is the label of Attila vocalist and human buttplug Chris “Fronz” Fronzak. The label is no stranger to Video Breakdowns. It’s as if people that make bad music want more bad music in the world. Weird how that works, right? The cycle of violence continues, but mostly on the ears and eyes in this case. Get your bouncing shoes ready for this one.

0:03: You know he means business by the way he paces back and forth like he’s waiting for an open stall in the men’s room.
0:08: Ruhruhruhruhruhruh! Ruh!
0:12: We’ve already got more chugs than Nickel Beer Night at Fraternity Circle.
0:18: “You can’t be something you’re not.” Living proof right here.
0:24: Two fuckings in 2 seconds. That’s a fucking record.
0:27: So they don’t play nu metal, but these lyrics would make someone wearing an Adidas track suit very proud.
0:32: He’s got the jimmy hands real bad.
0:38: I don’t know what’s happening, but I don’t like it.
0:42: Someone needs to inject this song with a high concentration of Adderall.
0:47: There is less fucking in strip clubs than in this song.
0:51: Does he have a waxed mustache? I don’t know if that makes things better or worse.
0:56: All this fucking and no place to blow.
1:00: Well this is awkward. They’re all wearing the same shirt.
1:05: Aversions Crown is weeping tears of joy right now.
1:12: Bounce like you mean it!
1:16: The cognitive dissonance is astounding right now.
1:21: As is this “breakdown” right now.
1:24: Oh man, we’ve even got a little crabcore going on.
1:31: This song is like a horn of plenty, but instead of produce or flowers, it’s filled with Papa Johns pizza and Sailor Jerry rum.
1:40: Here are the lyrics to the song, by the way. Real modern poetry.
1:46: Is it still a breakdown when most of the song is just a combination of different breakdowns?
1:51: The song is like the chicken nugget of metal: all the throwaway scraps of meat mashed together, formed into a cohesive ball of nothing, and sold to the foolish.
1:56: But even chicken nuggets come with dipping sauce.
2:00: These vocals are the equivalent of old ranch dressing, so close enough.
2:06: I pray no one ever gets these lyrics tattooed on their body.
2:10: That $1.50 they spent on this video was totally worth it.
2:17: We ran out of ideas, so just yell some random shit. No one will notice.”
2:24: Yeah, that’s how video works.
2:35: His gaping ear holes are the least embarrassing thing about this.
2:41: Moonbouncecore.
2:49: This song wasn’t released, it escaped.
2:53: At least we have this future shirt stain to remember them by.
2:58: And the phlegmy gurgles of a 2% milk-and-queso-drenched-burrito bender.

Spite’s self-titled album is out now via Stay Sick Records.

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  • Programmed drums<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

    GL

    • Gospel of Blxck Mxtxl, Mephistopheles 9:99

    • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

      Sisters Of Mercy, Fear Factory and Mortician frown on your shenanigans.

  • Waynecro

    This video is brought to you by the word fucking. The word fucking: For all those syllable gaps your band has to fill.

    • Joaquin Stick

      And also… BLUR, for when you can’t take the time to put a set together, just set up a few lights and jack up the BLUR!

      • Waynecro

        I’m glad you noticed that too. For a moment, I thought that diabeetus was finally having a negative effect on my vision.

      • Hubert

        They didn’t even bother with a warehouse…

        • more beer

          They can’t can’t afford a warehouse.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Or a drummer.

      • Blur? Imma leave this right here:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqj4ZP-SjKc

    • more beer

      Fucking, fucking fucking, fucking……………..SHIT!

    • Count_Breznak

      They have a lot of fucks, and they don’t mind sharing.

  • Mother Shabubu

    I’m about 56 seconds in and I have seen maybe 5 seconds of the other band members so far. All about the vokillist brah.

    PS: I watch these on mute. It is the most hilarious and sad thing. I don’t think people realize how comical they look doing exaggerated lip synching in music videos.

  • I don’t get how The Acacia Strain Version 9000 point 0 can still be relevant. The well went dry on this style a long time ago.

    • Simon PhoenixKing Rising

      Probably because people thought TAC were actually good. Those people are idiots, but still.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Flat-brimmed 8 string chugcore is our misfortune.

  • That movement in 1:23 worth the pain listening this bad deathcore chicken nugget thingy. It was hilarious!

  • Abradolf Lincler

    i always wonder if any of the people in the bands read us trash talking them in the breakdowns. if they do:

    this is fucking garbage.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      also, your lead singer looks like an even more downsy version of the guy from Epicmealtime

    • more beer

      I have often wondered. If they actually watch the finished product and think, this is good?

      • Abradolf Lincler

        too busy buying giant bamboo hoops for saggy ears, no time to watch finished product (or learn how to play musick)

        • more beer

          Well I once again made about a minute into a 3 minute song. I could take no more. Yes these guys should be seeking employment as anything other than musicians.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            “come on, mb. we learned that open string palm mute super gud”

          • more beer

            Lets not get all technical. Opps forgot who we were talking about. Man that shit is just bad.

    • ditto. though some of the REALLY bad ones can always just glance over at album sales from the local Hot Topic and take comfort. *le sigh*

      • Abradolf Lincler

        i advocate burning down lots of things but maybe i should start preaching burning down Hot Topics.

        • more beer

          Doesn’t that typically involve burning down an entire shopping mall? Not that it would affect me. I have been in a mall once in the last year.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            I’m not even sure if they have one at the one here. I’ve been to the mall once in the 2 1/2 years I’ve been here.

          • more beer

            I try to avoid such places.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I can’t advocate that because the one near me actually sells some good shirts of The Cure.

        • Count_Breznak

          As the old saying goes:
          Hot Topics to Hot Pockets.

    • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

      I recommended the page to Per from Jungle Rot (we’re friends on FB), then came the video breakdown. He didn’t seem to mind,actually! Especially since the comments were pretty much in favor of JR.

    • I can confirm that some do.

      • Abradolf Lincler

        Man, how bout a 365’s hatemailbox article lol

        • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

          The hate mail would probably be just from a few of the bands. I doubt these bands have a Belieber or Beyhive (Beyonce’s borderline psychotic fan club) sorta deal going on.

          • more beer

            And that would be funny.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            I dunno, maybe the Attila guy who signed Spite is already getting some hate mail ready for 365, which would be hilariously infantile. It’d be hard to tell if it was him, Fred Durst, or Trump who wrote it.

          • more beer

            He would take a screenshot. Then we would all have hours of entertainment.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I hate Beyonce so much. My best female friend likes her though. I can’t tell her that I hate Beyonce because she’s a Beyonce fanatic and she’s like the sister I wish I had.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            You can, and edge her towards something better. Nina Simone would be a start.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’m not going to do that.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Women love being told their music sucks.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’m never going to tell her that. She’s my best friend.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Then your friendship should be strong enough that you can say BEYONCE SUCKS and still be cool.

  • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

    Awwww, Chris “Fronz” Fronzak, the Martin Shkreli of the metal world.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      i mean, 2/3 aint bad

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        The thought of him drinking a Capri Sun pretty much ruins at least 1/3 of my childhood memories up until 8 (I lived on a heavy Funions, Tang and Capri Sun fueled diet in PR).

        • Abradolf Lincler

          man, no wonder all y’all around here got health problems

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            I don’t, amazingly enough. My health should’ve tanked several years ago.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Ha ha ha ha nice shoes you taintslap

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    This band has at least 2 other lolbuttz videos. Here’s one for their song “Night Terrors”, which is just as awful as you’d expect it to be.

    https://youtu.be/ekvFaKGg9-g

    • always with the appropriate rec’s, MPSLN!

    • more beer

      You posting this saves 365 from having to sit through anther one of their videos.

      • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

        I’m doing God’s work then.

        • more beer

          let’s just say you’re doing work.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            I dunno, he might be doing the Old Testament God’s work, and you know how horribly and sadistically that turns out.

          • more beer

            I don’t think the New Testament turns out to well either.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            But at least Christ got his revenge when he came back to life, got drunk and started eating people, turning them into bread zombies, and married Aladdin. Or something like that.

          • more beer

            Some shit like that. I also believe there was fire.

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        365’s post-video therapist shakes his fist in disapproval.

        • more beer

          I’ pretty sure that is liquor!

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            Liquor won’t cut it after some of those videos, like that one Czech band that was on here. That one requires something like propofol with a Dragon’s Breath chaser afterwards!

    • Abradolf Lincler

      spite got dat shaky cam on lock

      • more beer

        I guess that’s something.

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        JJ Abrams has taught them well.

  • Óðinn
    • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

      Yup! I sat all the way through it, and it’s pretty fucking awful, even by deathcore standards.

  • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

    *breathes heavily into a brown paper bag, and repeatedly reassuring myself that I’ve been through worse as I hit play*

    Holy shit, is that Randall Cobb (Police Academy 4, Raising Arizona) on vocals?!?!

    http://www.convictedartistmagazine.com/images/stories/randall-tex-cobb.jpg

    • more beer

      Not unless Randell Tex Cobb came back from the dead.

      • Rob M

        So, what youre saying is theres like a 50/50 chance it is him

        • more beer

          Okay I will go with that, so yes.

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        He was reborn as William Murderface. Or this guy. If it’s the latter one, coming back from the dead definitely takes away a lot of manhood points.

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        Hes still alive and kicken. In fact he picked up a bachelors degree at 57.

        • more beer

          I could have sworn he was dead. Shit my mistake.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Ironically I looked him up just a few weeks ago thinking the same thing. Yea hes still plugging along: In January 2008 at age 57, Cobb graduated magna cum laude from Temple University with a bachelor’s degree

          • more beer

            I swear I saw an announcement of his death on tv at one point. But it certainly looks like he is still alive.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      I thought the exact same thing for a moment, like it was his son.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    ‘Why don’t you go die like the frog looking fuck you are and croak’
    I want this written on my headstone.

    • more beer

      Put it in writing in your will. Filed under last wishes. Otherwise whoever is in charge of getting you to your final destination. Will have something you hate for eternity put on your headstone.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      The only true headstone

  • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

    Some tragic news to report……………… I talked to the manager of Walgreens, and they’re no longer carrying Big Flats (one of the greatest beers on Earth, and the finest beer that Walgreen’s has to offer). And then came the heavy blow to my very existence: she said they’re going out of business. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Me right now.

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwi9_-qhnqbNAhXEHx4KHV-XA_0QyCkIHjAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dee925OTFBCA&usg=AFQjCNHdm38dr7Nw-AFvXBkCYbJRkLZdEA&sig2=H6Kh6hpSFBFyGmtuKBYfyw&bvm=bv.124272578,d.cWw

    Couldn’t they just take Andy Capp’s instead?!? This is an outrage! Got their last six pack which will be immortalized in my room next to my Billy Dee Williams can of Colt 45.

    • more beer

      Just knowing this makes the world a much better place..

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        http://i.imgur.com/BHSwRSz.gif

        *looks for a spell that turns all Denver beers into Stack, Axe Head, fruit flavored Steel Reserve and Earthquake*

        • more beer

          Have fun with that. I would have bit that fuckers head off. So I wouldn’t have to listen to that shit.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            As I transform your beer into all those shitty brands and transform your weed into vape juice. Mwahahahahhahaha!!!!!

          • more beer

            My weed is still weed. My wax is still wax. Don’t have a beer. You better say hocus pocus again or something.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Did someone say Hocus Pocus?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV0F_XiR48Q

          • more beer

            No not that.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan
      • more beer

        Yes we already knew that.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Also, KJU plz! Hot Fries are a staple of my diet as well as Blackbeard’s!

      • more beer

        How can they be a staple of BB’s diet if he can’t buy them anywhere?

        • Abradolf Lincler

          fuckin a

          • Abradolf Lincler

            they are also not a staple of my diet . . .i just wanted one fucking bag but noooooo

          • more beer

            I didn’t think you had a diet similar to JJD.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            im not sure anyone has a diet similar to jjd

          • more beer

            True.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I’m sure he’ll find them. They’re in every store near me.

          • more beer

            Just because you can get something there. Doesn’t mean you can get it some place else. There are no Wise potato chips out here. I know they have them there.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            What do you have in place of Wise?

          • more beer

            There is no replacement for Wise Potato Chips!

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            There was once Big Flats here in VA, and I got the last magical six pack today.
            I’m cherishing this, and been drinking this last six pack tonight with a friend. I don’t show it much, but I’ve cried since yesterday, and it’s a good time to break open one. 🙂

          • Abradolf Lincler

            i am p much positive the loss of big flatz is not worth crying over.

            like ron swansons pyramid says: “crying: only acceptable at funerals and the grand canyon”

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            And when Good Guys got cancelled.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            I see them everywhere, and he’s not very far from me.

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf
      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        BTW, I submitted my ROTW. I really wanted to submit Abba, but that was my 3rd pick, and not sure if it even qualified as dad rock.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiJMln3q7GU

        • more beer

          He is acting pretty bold about ROTW.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            I brought out the heavy hitters on this one. 😉

  • CyberneticOrganism