Spite the hand that feeds.
Spite is a deathcore band from… hell, it doesn’t say it on their Facebook page, so I’ll just say they’re from ChuggityChug, Wyoming. The band is signed to Stay Sick Records. If that name sounds slightly familiar, like the belched-up remnants of what you had for breakfast, that is because Stay Sick Records is the label of Attila vocalist and human buttplug Chris “Fronz” Fronzak. The label is no stranger to Video Breakdowns. It’s as if people that make bad music want more bad music in the world. Weird how that works, right? The cycle of violence continues, but mostly on the ears and eyes in this case. Get your bouncing shoes ready for this one.
0:03: You know he means business by the way he paces back and forth like he’s waiting for an open stall in the men’s room.
0:08: Ruhruhruhruhruhruh! Ruh!
0:12: We’ve already got more chugs than Nickel Beer Night at Fraternity Circle.
0:18: “You can’t be something you’re not.” Living proof right here.
0:24: Two fuckings in 2 seconds. That’s a fucking record.
0:27: So they don’t play nu metal, but these lyrics would make someone wearing an Adidas track suit very proud.
0:32: He’s got the jimmy hands real bad.
0:38: I don’t know what’s happening, but I don’t like it.
0:42: Someone needs to inject this song with a high concentration of Adderall.
0:47: There is less fucking in strip clubs than in this song.
0:51: Does he have a waxed mustache? I don’t know if that makes things better or worse.
0:56: All this fucking and no place to blow.
1:00: Well this is awkward. They’re all wearing the same shirt.
1:05: Aversions Crown is weeping tears of joy right now.
1:12: Bounce like you mean it!
1:16: The cognitive dissonance is astounding right now.
1:21: As is this “breakdown” right now.
1:24: Oh man, we’ve even got a little crabcore going on.
1:31: This song is like a horn of plenty, but instead of produce or flowers, it’s filled with Papa Johns pizza and Sailor Jerry rum.
1:40: Here are the lyrics to the song, by the way. Real modern poetry.
1:46: Is it still a breakdown when most of the song is just a combination of different breakdowns?
1:51: The song is like the chicken nugget of metal: all the throwaway scraps of meat mashed together, formed into a cohesive ball of nothing, and sold to the foolish.
1:56: But even chicken nuggets come with dipping sauce.
2:00: These vocals are the equivalent of old ranch dressing, so close enough.
2:06: I pray no one ever gets these lyrics tattooed on their body.
2:10: That $1.50 they spent on this video was totally worth it.
2:17: We ran out of ideas, so just yell some random shit. No one will notice.”
2:24: Yeah, that’s how video works.
2:35: His gaping ear holes are the least embarrassing thing about this.
2:49: This song wasn’t released, it escaped.
2:53: At least we have this future shirt stain to remember them by.
2:58: And the phlegmy gurgles of a 2% milk-and-queso-drenched-burrito bender.
Spite’s self-titled album is out now via Stay Sick Records.