Snow White’s Poison Bite – The End Of Prom Night: A Video Breakdown

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Bite my shiny metal ass.

Normally when I do a video breakdown, it’s for a video that has recently come out. This week, though, we’re going back a few years to bring you a band that has mostly managed to remain under the radar despite containing a large amount of lolbuttz. This one is a special request going out to the big bossman Joe. What he says goes. Speaking of which, I’ll pick up your dry-cleaning at 4. They were able to get out the beer and brisket stains.

Snow White’s Poison Bite is a Finnish sorta-punk sorta-emo sorta-pop band signed to Victory Records. While it’s no longer the “tuff guy” label it once was, keep in mind that Hatebeed, Earth Crisis, Blood For Blood, Snapcase, and A18 were all on Victory. Then again, so was Design The Skyline, Hawthorne Heights, and The Junior Varsity, so there you go. The band’s name is an obvious reference, but it’s still a strange name when you think about it. So they’re just the act of a fictional character? They’re not Snow White and they’re not the apple. They’re not even the witch. They’re just a verb of sorts. Weird.

 

0:04: Welcome to the grindhouse
0:09: Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that the “lame” music is going to be better than the band’s actual song?
0:15: Suspicions confirmed.
0:18: Does the guy on the left suffer from gigantism or is he part-Braniac?
0:20: Is there a Finnish term for “Holy fuckstains, look at the drummer’s gaping ear holes”?
0:24: Can one of our high-cheekboned friends tell us if they have proms in Finland?
0:29: At least we know they still have disco balls.
0:36: Maybe you’re sad because you have two things sticking out of your face. Just a theory.
0:40: Timmu is going to get lucky tonight!
0:45: A literal lolbuttz.
0:49: That mic must reek of Axe body spray and Tupla.
0:54: The guitar camera only works when you’re playing something complicated.
1:01: When the band travels, he has to register his hair as a pet.
1:06: Hey, it’s that new dance craze “The Running Putz”.
1:12: Please say hell to Molly Ringwald’s non-union Finnish equivalent Molly Ringwittanen.
1:16: “Okay, Esa. For this role, you just need to look confused. Nothing else. Can you do that? Great!”
1:22: I’d cry too if this band showed up at my prom.
1:28: What’s the knife for? Are we having cake or something?
1:33: Seriously, is like half his brain exposed and the only thing keeping it from popping out is that bandana?
1:35: Cool, Candlemass is at the party too!
1:41: Vocalist Jeremy Thirteenth (really) looks disturbingly like Arya Stark with a meth problem.
1:45: Aw, someone got lingonberry jam all over their knife.
1:48: “My only regret…is not being in Nightwish…”
1:50: Looking at his teeth definitely suggests a meth problem.
1:57: Bloody Goatee would be good band name.
2:02: His shirt has his name on it just in case he gets lost…or his parents want someone to kidnap him.
2:13: “Oh…hey, Mr. Homicidal Maniac That Just Broke Into My Prom And Killed People. Want to go to Hot Topic and stuff?”
2:21: Why does he have a bloody glove on? Is it his “heavy flow” day?
2:25: “Can you cut my steak for me? My mom doesn’t let me use sharp objects.”
2:32: I’ll bet he can stick a whole mustaseljanmarja through those dangling lobes.
2:37: Even the Finnish Richie Sambora is here. What a party!
2:44: Nice nail polish.
2:54: Why do they all have bloody pants? You know what? I don’t want to know.
3:01: Why the long face?
3:05: She splashed her with jelly. What a jerk!
3:09: “Ahhh! It’s the girl who’s actually better looking than my date! Nooooooo!”
3:18: She’s either stabbing him or really bad at handjobs.
3:24: Really, no one is concerned with the bloody pants?
3:28: It’ll never work out. He’ll use all her hair product.
3:39: So the random, brutal murders are justified because she was mad at them…or something. So both her and the band are the villains. Got it.
3:40: Probably would’ve been better if it were all a dream.
3:41: More believable too.

Remember high school? Snow White’s Poison Bite does. I suppose some things transcend borders and cultures. Of course, I’m talking about crappy pop punk. I’m a little disappointed that the band toned-down their Misfits worship in this video. It was the only thing they had going for them.

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  • Kevin Nash & Friends

    I hate these guys. I do not hate Victory though because they had HH and Silverstein whom I love.

    • This is the most confvsing statement you made this month.

      • Void Dweller

        Like everything else he says.

    • Maik Beninton™

      But you said they mistreated HH.

      • Kevin Nash & Friends

        They did. They didn’t mistreat Silverstein though.

        • Maik Beninton™

          Btw can you recommend some screamo, since a revival is happening and I don’t really know what’s all about?

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            That’s a specialty of mine. Here’s some recommendations and I have a ton of more obscure bands I can list if you want to.

            -The Used
            -Silverstein
            -Hawthorne Heights
            -Atreyu
            -Alesana
            -Dance Gavin Dance
            -Alexisonfire
            -Saosin
            -Senses Fail
            -Motion City Soundtrack

          • Le Tapir The Based

            I didn’t know that you were a screamo enthusiast too. I thought that you only like dad rock and nu metal. Dance Gavin Dance is fucking horrible btw.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I’m an enthusiast of a lot of genres. Also, DGD are pretty good compared to a lot of the more famous ones. When it comes to dad rock I know a lot of different kinds of dad rock.

          • Le Tapir The Based

            Have you heard their latest album. Holy shit it was bad. I’d rather eat a bag of scabby dicks than listen to it again. Even Basedtony Godtano hates it.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            Anthony Fantano is a joke. I also enjoyed that album.

          • Le Tapir The Based

            Blasphemer! I will send the Spanish Inquistion after you! You will never expect it. Lovetony Lifetano is love, Lifetony Lovetano is life.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I’m not a blasphemer. I speak the truth.

          • Le Tapir The Based

            You are a blasphemer. You have called the great Holytony Sainttano a joke! The man who selflessly saved his best friend Cal Chuchesta from hell!

          • Maik Beninton™

            Thanks I will give them a listen.

    • Hessian Hunter?

      • Le Tapir The Based

        Everyone loves that baby.

      • Kevin Nash & Friends

        I don’t get it.

        • you wouldn’t (H.H.)

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            Jimmy plz!

          • hey, you had one of those coming your way!
            you mentioned HH in your post, and since i didn’t know what it was i guessed Hessian Hunter

    • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo

      No love for Jungle Rot?!?!? That’s a paddlin’!

      I’m amazed anyone signs with Victory nowadays. The owner has one of the worst reputations in the music biz and has been sued god knows how many times.

      • Kevin Nash & Friends

        I completely forgot about them. I like Jungle Rot a lot. Their first album is a classic.

      • more beer

        Me Jimmy from Jungle Rot and my friend Dan who fronted a rather big band from Chicago. Do you know what band he fronted? I’m in the middle.

        • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo

          Ummmmmmmmmmm………. hmmmmmmmmm……… Disturbed? Smashing Pumpkins? Kanye West?

          • more beer

            Thought you were a Chicago metal expert?

          • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo

            Sadly, from what I could ever tell, Chicago really doesn’t have all that many metal bands, really.

          • more beer

            I don’t know Usurper, Macabre, Jungle Rot, Cum Christ. Just 4 off the top of my head. Just those bands alone are a pretty good showing.

          • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo

            Jungle Rot’s from Kenosha, WI.

          • more beer

            Yea but I know at very least Jimmy lives there. I’m pretty sure the rest of them live there now too.

          • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo

            Oh. I know they play there A LOT, so that’d be logical. Plus Kenosha is the land that time forgot. It reminds me of the town from Maximum Overdrive!

          • more beer

            I know he told me he’s been living there close to 20 years.

          • more beer

            I’ll give you a clue”Kill For Metal”!

          • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo

            Oooooooooooooooooh, Usurper!

          • more beer

            Yep! Thats my homie. We hang out at least a couple of times a week.

          • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo

            Sweet!

          • more beer

            Yea he’s a really good dude. Funny as fuck.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    #rememberhighschoolohmanthoseweregoodtimescore

    Seriously though this band is boiled ass.

  • Tyree
  • Lolbuttz is coming.

    • Spear

      I seriously hope you come up with all those one-liners the first time through. I can’t imagine having to watch some of these videos more than once.

    • Trees ‘n Shit is Kvlt O)))
      • The W.

        I still see those gerbils in my nightmares taunting me with their pepper bar.

        • Lacertilian

          Well hurry up and get G’Dubs TexMex Bar & Grill off the ground then. Enough talk.
          I need a better paying job anyway.

    • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo
  • Void Dweller

    Plugs, piercings, and pussy. I see nothing wrong with this hot scene shit.

  • Shrimp in a Pizza Box™

    Because where else would they be from if not from Finland.

    • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo

      Florida? Looking at the pic, I thought it was Blood On The Dance Floor.

  • Le Tapir The Based

    It’s a good day to move to Sweden.

    • Dagon
      • Void Dweller

        Swedish pussy.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Ain’t these herpaderps from your town?

      • Le Tapir The Based

        Yes. ‘Twas a good town until these fucks started existing.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          Su elämäs o paskaa. Koeta Jaskaa.
          “Kivesveto”- Samu

          • Le Tapir The Based

            Uliuliuliuliuli
            – Jukka Emil Vanaja

        • now we know in which town you reside! we just have to keep narrowing it down…

          • Le Tapir The Based

            God damn. God damn I tell you!

        • HEY LOOK! MOTORHEAD DOUBLE DOTS!

  • “God, high school sucked. Wouldn’t it be cool if we made a video where we murdered all the stupid jocks and preps that we hated?”
    “Dude, we graduated a decade ago.”

    • I wouldn’t assume that they graduated.

    • I’d rather find common ground with the people I used to hate in HS, frankly. Making friends beats making enemies.

    • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo

      *alerts all the middle school playgrounds about these guys*

  • Ignatius the Wizened

    Lo! It comes, a revelation,
    Brows furrowed, consternation.
    What to know at fourteen hours past?
    A secret, Ho! that shall not last!

  • Guacamole Jim
  • Dear Finland:

    Why?

  • Dagon

    Thou hast slain me, @365 Days of Horror:disqus

  • So… This is the Finnish response to My Chemical Romance?

  • Void Dweller
  • RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2

    this song make me cry when I listen and scream along to it. The last gf I had was not happy when I song it to here live when we broke up. But she deserved it.

    – Davey, 6/8/12

  • DOYOURLYBEARD, THO?

    I can usually make it through these for the lulz.

    Not this time

    • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo

      I’m afraid to even sit through it. I have to build up my courage/self hatred first (more self hatred/self flagellation than anything).

      • more beer

        You can never hate yourself that much!

        • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo

          Oh, I did sit through all of the new Five Finger Death Punch video. That is a punishment from at least 10 very horrible past lives.

          • more beer

            That is some serious self hate there. I hope alcohol was involved.

          • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo

            Yeah, but not even a speedball could numb out that much pain and suffering!

          • more beer

            I’m not sure general anesthesia would help.

          • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo
          • more beer

            That would be preferable to listening to FFDP.

  • I’m In Love With Tha DooDoo
  • Kevin Nash & Friends

    Speaking of Victory bands two of the bands who are on Mayhem from their stage are performing my area and my cousin is billed above one of them oddly enough. It’s odd because this is their first real show. For proof my cousin’s band is the one above Shattered Sun.

    http://thechancetheater.com/event/5961335

  • Alucard, Fuckmothering Vampire

    HAHAHAHAHA NO
    God, I have my limits when it comes to this shit.

  • Holy fuck. This is worse than the shit my mock boy band creates and we have album covers like this:

  • Rob M

    How the hell does something like this even exist in Finland? Isnt that whole country genetically predisposed to sonically crush your skull with heavy metal?