Slam Jamz: An Overview of Boastful Wiggnorance

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My beginning stages with metal centered on the “mallrat” end of the spectrum.

However, my transition into deeply underground brutality was very quick. Nearly overnight, I went from listing to Bring Me the Horizon and Bullet for My Valentine, to jamming to bands like Katalepsy and Devourment before I had ever even heard the term “slam”. Within the past year, I have discovered and moved my arms like Mike Jones to a vast amount of slam, and I would like to share a portion of these riffs with you.

I have divided it up into categories to assist the newcomers. If you are one of those slabs of fresh meat, get ready to be fucked in your ear pussies by the Toxic Avenger. (Ed. Note: Barf.)


Your Dad’s Slam

I’m sure everybody here will be at least mildly familiar with these bands, so I won’t elaborate too much. This is the working man’s slam; the old shit that shaped the genre. If it were not for these groups, we wouldn’t have the tune-age that we have today :’)

Suffocation – Liege of Inveracity

Whodathunk that Suffo would make this list? Surprise, ya bunch of bishes! For those of you who are entirely new to the genre, Suffocation came out of the NYDM scene in 1988 and were pretty much cast aside as garbage because they played super heavy pit riffs instead of the average stuff coming out of Morrisound. Liege contains what is considered to be the first recorded slam. Even though it is surrounded by guitar solos on each side, this twenty second break shaped what death metal would soon become.

Dying Fetus – Blunt Force Trauma

A lot of people consider DF to have played a large role in the formation of slam. While I agree, I think that most of what people see as them slamming is really just them playing some super heavy, lower tempo riffs. Fetus has been, and most likely will continue to be, one of my favorite bands. If you want proper preparation for trve slam, this band is a winner.

Internal Bleeding – Epoch of Barbarity

Voracious Contempt is the first album that is pure slam. Unfortunately, their production is fucking awful (the guitar tone sounds like if the game Twisted Metal made music, and not in a cool way) and the vocals sound like what your friends sound like when they make fun of metal. I put this on here out of principle, not out of personal interest.

 


 

BDM with a Side of Slam

I would imagine that this is where a lot of people start out once they enter the slam realm. This stuff is essentially standard, archetypal brutal death metal with a few slams thrown in every once in a while. Blast beats, generic riffs, and tremolo picking galore, but toss in a(n often times high tempo) slam. When done properly, this shit can go really hard, as the slam acts as a breakdown. However, a lot of bands like this are super lame, so you have to search a bit to find solid stuff.

Pus Vomit – Dead for Rent

A lot of this album is very slam-centered, but this song is an excellent example of what I’m talking about. Plus, they’re Filipino! How many Filipino bands can you think of??

Carnal Decay – Shotgun Facelift

This is one of those bands that I listened to in 7th grade without realizing that that breakdown is actually called a “slam”. This is one of the better songs that I’ve heard from this subsection; there are fairly technical parts, a few grindy parts, some siqq vokills, and the buildup/break at the 2:00 mark makes me do the CKY headbang/airpunch to this day.

Composted – BB(W)Q

Composted are a lot like Carnal Decay, but I think they slam harder. Honestly, I’m including these guys purely out of favoritism, as I love these fuckers. I mean, I ripped my author name off of one of their shirt designs.

 


Trve Slam

This is what I think of when the topic of slam death metal is brought up between me and my imaginary metalhead friends. This is the stuff that all those abortion survivors in the Youtube comment section call “deathcore”. This shit…is admittedly awful, on a literal level. However, the heaviness of these riffs is undeniable. No matter how simplistic or meatheaded it is, I think you have to have a special kind of musical ear to be able to write a proper slam. For that, I give these bros props. Also, I’ve heard that these bands kick fucking ass when you’re drunk. I don’t drink, so I don’t know how true that is, but it sounds like a decent excuse to get shithammer wasted at your computer. It’s for science! (Ed. Note: Way ahead of you.)

Devourment – Babykiller

This is probably this first slam jam that I ever heard, and I totally stole it off of LimeWire because it had a badass name. I had never heard anything so guttural before. I couldn’t fully appreciate this song for what it is due to my young age, but now I see it as one of the most perfectly constructed DM tunes of all time. There are three different versions of this song, all very rad. Even though this isn’t the first that I heard, this is my favorite, as it has Wayne Knupp as the vocalist and the gnarliest riffs (in my opinion). MOTHERFUCKING DEVO, SON.

Cephalotripsy – Uterovaginal Insertion of Extirpated Anomalies

This is the band that truly introduced me to the genre about a year ago. This was, and still is, one of the grimiest albums on the market. The best way that I can describe this is “sloppy”. I don’t mean that it’s poorly put together; everything is tightly put exactly where it needs to be. But every time I listen to this album, I walk away feeling like I’m surrounded by a bile membrane (dibs on the siqq band name). Unfortunately, I listened to this so many times after I bought it, that it has lost its touch. Don’t make the same mistake that I did!

Blasphtized – John the Blasphtist

I namecheck these Brits anytime slam is brought up. Even though they fall under the BDM w/ a Side of Slam category, I consider them trve because of how hard these fuckers slam. Everything about this band is completely obscure, which makes sense when you find out that this is a side project for some dudes in a progressive death band. They slam with pinch harmonics and the vocals sound like an epileptic pig, but it somehow manages to come together in an absolutely beautiful way.

Syphilectomy – Sadomasochistic Haemophilia

This is basically just a Cephalotripsy cover band, but I am absolutely fine with that since they’re hella dope and Cephalo haven’t released new shit in years.

Necrofuckphilia – Cunt Slam Her with a Sledgehammer

This is what I like to call “Self-aware Slam”. This is the absolute epitome of wigger slam, and it’s everything a little boy can dream of. The slams are bouncy as fuck, the incredibly dark humor is awesome to me, I non-ironically enjoy the random hip-hop (especially the Brotha Lynch samples!), and overall, this makes me crack up and mosh simultaneously. It is completely knowledgeable of it uber-wigger identity, and it takes it to its natural extreme. This won’t be for everyone, and having normals see this will end you up in an institution, but if you enjoy shenanigans and brutal pit riffment, this is the Ark of the Covenant.

Necrofuckphilia – Beat a Bitch Down if Ya Name Chris Brown

I included this just for fun. I love this album too much. By the way, you can buy it for free on Bandcamp!

Guttural Slug – Hacksaw Surgery

I neglected this band for a really long time because I figured that they were some shitty, black-metal-level-production troop. When I finally checked it out, I was ecstatic. I had been looking for good, new slam everywhere and couldn’t find it; all the while, this was right under my nose. This album is very well put together and covers a wide variety of drumming, guitar, and vocal techniques. A slam band with some true talent!

Guttural Slug – Eye of the Cyclops

I’m putting this here because I can’t decide which song to pick; they have two very different styles, but each are brutal as all fuck. Check it out and decide which you like better!

 

That should be enough brain damge for now. How do you feel about slam? Are you new and just discovered a bunch of demented weirdness? How badly do you miss JNCO and Sean Jean? Have you noticed that a lot of writers on ToV are ripping off Sergeant D when they’re writing these silly closing questions? Fuck it, slam on!

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