Shirt Stains: When Worlds Collage

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Avert your eyes, children!logo shirtHave you ever wanted to wear one of those band logo collages? No. Of course not. You’re not a gibbering shut-in, forced to converse with your own warped thoughts for entertainment. You’re not an issue of Circus magazine come to life. You do not send promotional emails with the subject line “Fuck You.” You do not consider Banquet Frozen Meals as quality dining. You do not get viciously owned on Twitter after foolishly shooting your mouth off. You are not Ann Coulter (though you may be her flaccid penis) being mercilessly and deservedly being roasted in a public forum.

This bootleg shirt comes straight from the superfund section of eBay. What madman in some god-forsaken hellhole of a basement in some former Soviet republic nation thought this was a good idea? We have to assume that this monster pulled the collage off of the internet and didn’t come up with these bands himself. It’s such a random mish-mash of bands: Helloween, Ektomorf, Foo Fighters, Dead Kennedys, Dry Kill Logic, Cannibal Corpse, AC/DC, Bad Religion, Exodus, Danzig, Gojira, and The Sword just to name a few. How random.

The best part of this abomination, though, is that the collage wasn’t big enough to fit the entire shirt. Names and logos appear multiple times just to really offend your eyes and sense of self-worth. They could have tried both cutting and pasting from another collage or even creating something semi-original. “No time for that, Igor! We must make shirts to meet high demand. Then we drink vodka mixed with paint thinner and talk of what chocolate must taste like! Ura!”

The pain continues unabated on the back.

logoshirtback
This shirt is absolutely, unequivocally, 100% repugnant. It is an affront to any and all gods, demigods, deities, divine beings, demons, and magical talking animals. You would have to put at least 3 pairs of feet and a “Make America Great Again” hat on it for Buffalo Bills coach Rex Ryan to successfully masturbate to it. Armies wave this shirt to show that they surrender. This shirt is starring in Uwe Boll’s next movie. This shirt eats Dunkin Donuts for lunch every day. This shirt pisses on the toilet paper in its own house. Donald Trump just made this shirt his campaign manager.

  • sweetooth0

    it’s the equivalent of a tuxedo shirt for people who don’t want to make battle vests.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      Haha, dude you’re right!

    • more beer

      Fuck them lazy bastards.

      • Working on a battle jacket as I type this actually.

        • Abradolf Lincler

          my jacket has been ordered and i will post picks when i get it and start workin on it, assuming i dont have to send it back because im a fatass/not a fatass

        • Count_Breznak

          …you bought the shirt and are cutting out a few logos you were missing ?

          • Abradolf Lincler

            i know he was missing four or five identical Korn logos

          • Count_Breznak

            Finally a way to cover up that embarrassing Mgla patch.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            It’s how I’m going to cover up mine

          • Donnajhood2

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  • Eliza

    Thus shirt makes my eyes sore.

    • JWEG

      This shirt makes parts of me that I can’t share about in polite company sore.

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    “What madman in some god-forsaken hellhole of a basement in some former Soviet republic nation thought this was a good idea?”

    Perfect

    • Eliza

      Grandma just wanted to make a “hip” shirt for me.

  • Howard Dean

    “Yes, I has 17 shirts of these vintage rare patch logo shirtsfrom 2007 as well as 3 copy mint 1984 original bathory Yellow Goat singed by Qurothron. $80 for entire lot. Originals. no paypal.. Accept bank transfre (eurozone only) and check/cash. no refunds.”

    –Fotios Vassilakis, Athens Gr.

    • Stockhausen

      “Triple XL only”

    • Óðinn

      WTF? Isn’t that a watermelon?

      • Abradolf Lincler

        It’s been boiled, they played a joke on him

        • Óðinn

          I see. Thanks.

  • more beer

    For Rex Ryan to successfully masturbate, feet would need to be involved.

    • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

      Quentin Tarantino agrees wholeheartedly.

  • ANN COVLTER FLACCID PENIS REPRESENTING!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npFkLpZz7jQ

    • Well, fuuuuuuck me. I’m internet famous, ma!

    • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

      Ann “The Baba Yaga” Coulter promoting her new book:

  • Abradolf Lincler

    its awesome that theres a Gris logo in the header image

  • Stockhausen

    I want to get 20 of these and then resell them, marketing them as a tour shirt. “Did you miss the Emperor/Korn/Foo Fighters/Cannibal Corpse/Danzig/Gorgoroth/Bullet For My Valentine/Meshuggah/Helloween/etc/etc/etc/etc/etc/etc/etc tour? Here’s your one chance to make up for it!”

  • IronLawnmower

    My parents got me a shit like this while they were away in New York. Never wore it just used it as a cum rag then binned.

  • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

    Egads, that thing is like a battle jacket gone so so very wrong!