Shirt Stains: Potpourri

2346
237
Share:

It’s beginning to smell a lot like Shirt Stains everywhere you go!

No special theme for this week. No specific genre of focus, no similar sound. The one attribute they all share is that they are bad. Okay, so they’re also all black t-shirts, but whatever; you get the point. Consider this a cornucopia of crap. A plethora of putridity. An abundance of ass. Take a big whiff of this metal merch potpourri. It smells like Shirt Stains.

 

Sonic Syndicate – Sonic who?

sonicsyndicateshirtstains

I don’t hate Sonic Syndicate. I also don’t love Sonic Syndicate. I nothing them. They’re like the pimento loaf of metal. They exist, and I have no desire to consume what they produce. But if there was absolutely nothing else and I was close to death, they would do. That being said, I do feel bad for the band who had to endure a bunch of metal fans being jerks to them while opening for Amon Amarth. Instead of pulling a Peter Steele and laughing at the fans by saying “You paid $15 American dollars to get in here. We’re getting paid, who’s the real asshole now?” Sonic Syndicate wrote a song about it. They would have been better off just ignoring the real-life trolling, but instead made it a big deal. This was one of those situations where there were no winners.

I’d like to believe they were still angry and embarrassed from the incident while making this shirt. It’s the only explanation for why they would hide their band name, not once, but twice. Splashed across the majority of this shirt is what I can only assume is a bitchin’ bird with the band’s little “S” compass symbol. While it may sound silly on paper, it actually looks pretty good. If it wasn’t so big and printed all cock-eyed with just the band name printed above it, this shirt would be cool.

For whatever reason, though, everyone involved in this shirt thought it would be a good idea to just completely block out the band name. A band name that manages to ride up all the way to the neck line, across to the armpit, and off to the ribcage. Maybe the artist was drunk. Maybe the printer was stoned. Maybe no one has any idea what they’re doing and just waiting for the moment when someone finally calls them on it.

 

 Serj Tankian – Version 1.5

serjtankianshirtstains

Oh, Serj. While you may have the most successful solo career of all the members of System Of A Down, this shirt doesn’t convey it. It’s like a half-finished watercolor from a “Learn How To Paint!” class at the local community college. The thing still looks wet. The mixture of greys, browns, and whites looks like what’s left at the bottom of a coffee pot at a soon-to-be-closing Dunkin Donuts. It’s hard to read his name at the top and the “Elect The Dead Symphony” is kind of small. Taking a page out of Sonic Syndicate’s playbook are we?

I like the surprised look on Serj’s face. It’s like someone busted into Serj’s room while he was jerking off and took a picture. You can practically hear him yelling, “SHUT THE DOOR, MOM!” At least they captured his beard and mustache combo. Is he supposed to be playing piano? Maybe they’re supposed to paint that at next week’s class. Oops, too late. Shirt’s already been made.

The Haunted – Don Drapercore

TheHauntedShirtStains

This shirt is for The Haunted’s latest album Exit Wounds. I was excited to hear that Marco Aro was returning, as I had really enjoyed The Haunted Made Me Do It and One Kill Wonder. It seems like the new album was promptly forgotten about, despite being an aggressive return to form. I wonder why that happened. Are people no longer interested in that sound? Has time passed The Haunted by? Do people want more experimentation from the band? I leave that up to you to decide as there is no one answer. What we can agree on is that they probably shouldn’t have used the album art for a t-shirt.

In a smaller version, say as a cd cover or a small icon on iTunes, I can see where this might look good. Well, not good, but good enough. When blown up to fit a shirt, it just looks goofy. We’ve got a Mad Men-inspired shadow man with teeth as white as Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker in a blizzard. This shadow man is psyched as all hell which is strange since he is on fire. Maybe he’s sexually attracted to fire. Oh, and the top of his head is turning into a hipster tattoo.

Just when you thought the pain was over, the back of the shirt screams at us. “Screams” is the correct term because they use an exclamation point. I appreciate the punctuation, even though the sentence still doesn’t make sense. “Cutting teeth grinding deep!” That would definitely get you a five point deduction on any English test. You better shape up The Haunted or else you’re going to be held back, just like Whitechapel.

Pierce The Veil – I can still see a little bit of black

piercetheveilshirtstains

This Pierce The Veil shirt was originally going to be in the “I want your skull” edition of Shirt Stains but didn’t quite make the cut. Thankfully, the metal-inspired commercial from India reminded me of its existence. Once again, this is a shirt where the initial design is good, but it’s ruined by people’s inability to stay out of their own way. While skulls on band shirts is way overdone, at least this design looks good. The fancy crown is a nice touch and the vegetation adds a splash of color. Are those flowers? I’ll just pretend they’re grapes.

For reasons unexplained, the skull is surrounded by a few fancy letters that hold no meaning to me. I guess they didn’t mean much to the designer because they’re practically off the front. Why blow up the whole design? There’s plenty of shirt to go around. The band’s name is forced to compensate by being just as big, leaving little room for anything else. This is a case of “smaller is better.” It’s hard to pierce the veil when there’s no room for either the veil or the piercing. Keep the grapes, though.

 

The Amity Affliction – The Broity Brofflictbro

Amityafflictionstains

The Amity Affliction are metalcore taken to it’s annoying end. You hate bad cop/good cop vocals? Well you’re going to want to rip off your ears and throw them at The Amity Affliction. The tough guy stuff is fine, if completely generic, but holy pop punk, are those cleans stab-worthy. I’m sure the meatheads at Warped Tour will lovingly point their stubby fingers during those parts. #ThanksRoadrunner #Momcanyoucomepickmeupatthemall.

There’s this weird trend for the past few years where somewhat heavy bands have semi-ironic shirts using typical metal symbols. This Lionheart shirt is a good example. I get it. It’s supposed to be funny, but it stopped being funny before I even finished this sentence. This Amity Affliction shirt tries to crank up the irony to such a degree that irony tried to get itself removed from the dictionary. Haha 666. Haha flames. Haha Baphomet…on wheels? Okay, that one is new. Jesus may have built my hotrod, but Baphomet built my go-cart. Using that font on “Affliction” to make it look like “Affitctton” really seals the irony deal. Good work using the Thrasher font for part of your name. Wouldn’t want a shred of originality to hurt this monument to fuck all. This shirt is the physical embodiment of someone asking to borrow your homework and they just cross out your name, write in theirs, and hand it in.

Now let’s see if Behemoth makes a shirt using Warpedtourcore tropes.

  • Edward/Breegrodamus

    When I was younger I really enjoyed Serj Tankian’s Elect The Dead and I revisited it recently and still enjoyed some of the songs on there.

    • Empty Walls and Sky Is Over are good.

      • VVayne Brady

        I thought Empty Walls had a lot of emotion to it. I enjoyed it whenever it came out.

        • Enemy Of The Free World

          I liked the symphonic versions of some songs.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus

        I still like most of the System of a Down singles.

    • Empty Walls was good. But I didn’t clicked with Tankian’s solo work. I thought that was a little pretentious, IDK.

      I liked Scars on Broadway, it was more simple and laidback, I think.

      • Enemy Of The Free World

        I am still waiting for SoB’s sophomore. Liked a couple of songs from the debut.

    • Never got into his solo stuff. A very much prefer SOAD.

  • HEY ITS FRIDAY!

    So, maybe we should do a series on “good metal t-shirts”. Personally, I think they are so few and far between that it will be quite difficult to find any….

    Thoughts? Examples?

    GL

    • Scrimm

      I’ve got a closet full of them.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      I own a few, GL. I’m at work but later or this weekend I could provide photographic evidence of some of them I have gotten lately. Pyrrhon, Sannhet’s The Revisionist (which I preordered based on Known Flood but before I heard the album, I have a v trill Cult Leader / Shawshank Redemption mash up tee…

      • Do you ever have problems with them shrinking? Most of those shirts are just so terrible then end up looking like a baby dolls shirt after two washes….

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          I haven’t had that problem with a tee shirt (metal or otherwise) in a very long time. I had a Definitive Jux hoodie that went to shit in short order once though. Green zipper hoodie, pretty bad ass, got all weird after like one wash the zipper / front were permanently crumpled. Plus that shit was like $40 yo.

          • Hmmm. I guess I have given up on bands t-shirts. My torso is so long that I can barely buy a Large this is long enough and if I get a XL I end up swimming in the mother and it still isn’t long enough for my lanky ass. THEN they end up shrinking WAY to short. Basically my wife ends up wearing every one of them.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Band shirts are still one of my few vices. I love them. I’m planning on getting like four when I go out to NYC this June.

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            I barely have non-band t’s
            #BearFax

          • Scrimm

            Me too.

          • Tyreeling In The Years

            You bearly have non-band t’s

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            plus one for pun

          • Scrimm

            Same Ed. I still wear them everyday. Old guy refusing to grow up I guess.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Peter Pan Syndrome. I got it a little, lol.

          • Scrimm

            I think part of it is I have no fashion sense and wouldn’t have the first idea what to wear. Doesn’t help that the uniform for my career the last 11 years was a t shirt and shorts.

          • VVayne Brady

            I haven’t shrunk a shirt in a long time. I’d like to think I have my laundry skills up to snuff.

          • Stanley

            I like to buy Mediums so that I can show my belly button off.

          • HA I guess I am spoiled with sweet tech-tees from races. They are far superior to cotton products. I know you know what I mean!

          • Stanley

            The worst shit ever. Please charge me 2 dollars less entrance fee and keep your chinese plastic garbage. Seriously, the fit of the “tech” tees is the same as the fit they use for horse coats. And they are supposed to be for athletes! Streuth.

          • Well.. not all of them are great. But I have a half dozen that are the tits!

          • Stanley

            I have a few that fit but most go to Goodwill. As long as the arms aren’t flapping about I’ll wear them a few times. Even though my IM shirt doesn’t fit I don’t have the heart to give to to Goodwill. Poseur confession.

          • haha I know what you mean about the IM shirts. The first one I got ended up being the size of a small. I could never wear it. The second one was nice I only were it once or twice a year. IT IS SO FRICKIN NICE.

          • God ov All

            That is the opposite of a problem.

          • Scrimm

            I got an Internal Bleeding hoodie that was awesome until I washed it once, now it’s barely long enough.

        • I am too swole for most of the rad shirts I bought over the years.
          /or, more likely, they shrunk.

        • Scrimm

          Sometimes. But I also have a few from almost 20 years ago that are still wearable. I have a Vader shirt from 96 that still looks better than half the ones I’ve bought in the past year or two.

        • I don’t consider myself a dirtbag but if the shirt doesn’t smell after I wear it, I don’t wash it. Gettin my money’s worth!

          • Scrimm

            Nothing wrong with that.

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            That’s called being a male.

        • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

          NEVER buy one from Blue Grape (if they’re still around). I had problems with that and them tearing after a couple of washes a while back.

    • God ov All

      So i have (no exaggeration) 140 metal tshirts. But since I got fat I only fit into 50 of them now. Some of them are lolbuttz worthy. I have a 5FDP shirt that’s just their logo and slipknots traditional “hey let’s just put all of us on the shirt”

      • Scrimm

        I have probanbly about the same.

    • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))
      • I liked that artwork even more than the one in Leviathan.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Rad.

    • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))
      • Scrimm

        I HATE that. slept on many myself. There’s one right now in fact…

      • I want that one so bad.

      • I own this shirt. I’ve worn it in public zero times.
        http://www.brooklynvegan.com/img/fp/chaosintejas/2013/day4/99.jpg

        • Enemy Of The Free World

          Afraid of the Neo-Nazi’s lynching you?

          • I think I’m probably safe on that front. It’s more like I’m not trying to pass myself off as some SUPER TUFF HXC dude.

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            And once more the sarcasm of a Finn flew undetected under the radars of all men.

        • I went to the Knob Creek (Lousiville KY) machine gun rally in 2013 and there was some pretty hateful stuff like that there. Not to say that shirt is hateful, but there was some pretty racist shit going on. ANYWAY. Here is a video of the night time shoot. They put 55 gallon drums of gasoline out on the range. It is fucking unreal!

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZH_9mhLAZ0

          • WHAT THE FUCK

          • DUDE, IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING. AMERICA. FLUSH ALL POSERS.

          • But really, if some one does not feel like a patriot after going to that show there has to be something wrong with them!

          • VVayne Brady

            What does wasting that much fuel and ammo have to do with being a patriot?

          • One can choose as they as wish, W!

          • VVayne Brady

            If people want to own guns/hunt/whatever, that’s cool. I just don’t know how shooting a machine gun makes you a good American.

          • I never explicitly said shooting a maching gun “makes you a good American”. I said you would “feel like a patriot”, or feel like one who stands up for their country. Don’t over analyze it. It was just a really great time, that’s all.

          • VVayne Brady

            Sorry if I offended you. I’m not a very patriotic person.

          • I am not offended by any means! I just wanted to clarify my point 🙂

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            ‘MURICA B(R)ITCHES!

          • omg.. I found this googling and youtube ‘murica: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R5A0pg4oN8

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            OMGD!
            This is literally thepicture americans want to paint of themselves if Finnish media is to be believed

          • VVayne Brady

            #notallamericans

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            I know, this is why I said IF Finnish media was to be blindly believed. Which I don’t, hilarious nevertheless.

          • VVayne Brady
          • Enemy Of The Free World

            downld for later use.

          • tertius_decimus

            Priceless.

          • How are you doing friend? Things OK in the Ukraine?

          • tertius_decimus

            Hi! Thanks for asking! Your attitude really warms me up. Ukraine is at the verge of default. Imagine: 1$=8UAH. Such a currency was keeping at this level (with some minor fluctuations) for many years since 2005. Now 1$ costs 28UAH. Couple of weeks ago 1$ equaled 45UAH. Prices skyrocketed, many banks closed down forever.

            The situation for me in particular is disastrous. I’ve been treated as a pice of shit since the last summer by too many people and I can’t handle this anymore. Now it’s clear who is friend and who’s not. I’m leaving the country next week with half of my belongings. I’ve sold too many things I wanted to keep and there’s no way to buy them again.

            Sorry, the shit is real. This all may sound like a silly cry of whiny prick but I’m not. Sadly, no good, honest, industrious and talented people needed in this fucking society. I will leave the computer, so no internet for me until (when???). I even risk to end up like a homeless guy in a foreign country. I’d wanted to move somewhere in a more prosperous country than Ukraine, but Europeans strictly deny us and avoid as a plague.

          • Maik Beninton

            Damn.
            Best of luck to you.

          • If you need to chat please contact me at george.lynch.toilet@gmail.com when you get a chance. I will pray for you friend.

            GL

          • tertius_decimus

            Message sent. Check the mail.

          • Got it! Thanks

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            Damn, that sucks big time. I’ll toss you my email as well. Geistimsturmgmail.com.

          • tertius_decimus

            Message sent.

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            Cool, thanks. I’ll check it out a little later.

          • more beer

            That situation sucks good luck to you.

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties
          • what’s awful about that stereotype isn’t that the people in the US believe in it, but the latin americans that doesn’t understand the joke and still believe that we drown in garbage while US is the ULTIMATE paradise.

            I mean, US is a good country with good people like you, with some problems and some good stuff. But, people here tend to believe that US rulz and we suck. And that’s bad, because the globalization propaganda is very under our vision of region and that’s one of the reasons why the citizenship here always believe that we’re dogs and north america are the masters.

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            And the classic cocaine stereotype about Colombians, which drove my ex fiance up the wall.

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties
          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Lelelelelelelelel…

          • more beer

            That was very informative. I never would have known that we make coffee with snow or that Charles Manson was a Republican candidate from Oregon.

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            Now you know! (in case no one noticed, I’m normally under Kim Jong Un something or other, but decided to switch it up).

          • more beer

            Yes I do and I even knew who is was talking too.

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            I think everyone knew! :-p

          • more beer

            Your avatar kind of gave it away.

          • Reposted Avenged Sevenfold Fan

            I AM TRYING TO TACTOO THE AVENGED SEVENFOLD DEATHBAT WITHE ALBUM LOGO WITH THE COLORADO FLAG IN ONE WING AND THE AMERICAN FLAG ON THE OTHER WING ABOVE THE TATTOO

            BUT ITS BEEN HARD TO GET THE MONEY FOR IT I JUST GOT FIRED FROM SUBWAY AND BILL’S DONT STOP COMEING AND I JUST GOT A CAR SO MONEY IS DRY FOR ME RIGHT NOW I ALREADY HAVE A ARTIS THAT HAS DRAWN IT UP AND ITS READY TO TATTOO ON MY BACK FOR $200

            I WILL GET THIS TATTOO AND I WILL WEAR THE TATTOO WITH THE PRIDE OF MY HOME TOWN ATOWN COLORADO AND THE HONOR OF MY COUNTRY AMERICA THE GOOD OLD U.S. OF A

            -Posted by vini, Aug 3 2012

          • VVayne Brady

            Have I told you that I grew up in Colorado?

          • Tyreeling In The Years

            Pizza, French Fry. Piiiiiiizzzzaaa!!!

          • Maik Beninton
          • Why not ask Robby Agony for aid?

          • Because we can.

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            It’d be funny, after blowing up that much fuel, if a few of the people’s cars ran out of gas on the way back home.

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            Or feeling like they walked into Deliverance.

          • Here is another great video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MBf_LvqUsQ

            Let me know if you guys ever want to go. There is camping, beer, fun!

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            And meth!

          • more beer

            That goes without saying.

          • DeadButtDreaming

            ..

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            Why does this not surprise me? Lived in KY (right outside of Cincinnati), and I can honestly say I couldn’t stand 90% of the people there.

          • more beer

            Holy shit When I was in the navy floating around off the coast of Lebanon in 83. I didn`t see that much shooting and those people were at war. I must say it looks like a good time was had by all.

        • Tyreeling In The Years

          I have a Police Bastard T-shirt. The only time I wore it in public was on tour.

          https://img0.etsystatic.com/000/0/5706983/il_fullxfull.246664230.jpg

          • That shirt says – “Officer, feel free to shoot me or beat me with your nightstick.”

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            …Like they wouldn’t be doing that anyways…

          • VVayne Brady

            Not if you’re white.

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Oh yes, here touch a black or immigrant or not a caucasian = death sentence.
            EDIT: So all the rage has to be put into white folk.

          • You have a little more leeway if you are white but if you get mouthy the result will be the same as others who get mistreated.

          • Tyreeling In The Years

            If there was one night I should have been arrested it was the night I wore this shirt and played the gig. After the gig, shit got out of control. We got too drunk and started destroying shit in the streets of Philly. I think I even broke a care windshield.

          • more beer

            That`s only if you a a rich white guy. If they even suspect you are white trash you are more likely to catch a beating.

          • more beer

            Don`t forget the taser! That is one of that one is also very popular!

          • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

            I only wore this shirt out in public once too. I went to a grind show in Philly, and after the gig, shit got out of control. Some drunk guys started destroying shit in the streets and one (hairy/bearded) guy broke my car windshield.

            http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0015/2602/products/deathsun1MOCK_1024x1024_1024x1024.jpg?v=1370302082

          • I seriously lol’d!

          • Tyreeling In The Years

            Sorry about that. Wear that shirt and your asking for it though.

        • VVayne Brady

          I have no idea what the last metal shirt I bought was.

        • That is now a bedtime shirt.

        • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

          Have you worn the pizza box in public yet?

    • tertius_decimus

      http://www.therockshop.de/bilder/produkte/gross/Volbeat-T-Shirt-Old-Letters_b2.jpg

      I own one. Neat design but shipping costs!!! OMFG, I would never ever order anything from them again.

      • Enemy Of The Free World

        I have that Borknagar shirt too 😉

        • tertius_decimus

          NO! We’re not original anymore! LOL!

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Got it from a gig, I asked to take beanies too and they promised, but DIDN’T!!!!

          • tertius_decimus

            Cool. I’ve missed their gig in my country. By the time of the festival I was too down to attend it. It maybe was the only chance for me in a lifetime to see them at the stage. 🙁

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            That’s unfortunate for they slew. ICS was top notch, which is always a gamble. Vintersorg couldn’t attend though but the replacement was far better than his band (Chrome Division) would let on, barely missed Mr.V

    • The last merol t-shirt I bought was a Therion one with this artwork:

      http://www.metal-archives.com/images/4/1/7/417.jpg?2955

      • Enemy Of The Free World

        This artwork is not good, sorry

        • okkkk.

          I like that album, so that’s fine for me.

          Also, I was having the choice of grabbing that, a lolbuttzy Cradle of Filth with Dani Filth doing a lolbuttzy pose in a bad quality pic, a Marilyn Manson one and thousand of Slipknots and a Cannibal Corpse one with bad print quality. I always struggle finding clothes here.

        • VVayne Brady

          Eh, it’s not that bad.

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Not shirt stains bad/don’t know what it would look like on a shirt.
            But overall it’s quite not-good, although so many album cover art are.

          • I’m sexy, so it looks good on me! #HalfElfHalfVenezuelanSwag

            But, that’s ok; it’s your opinion and you’re a beer that I steem a lot.

            To me, the art is very simple. And I still like the album, the concept is very good produced, and you can see all the runes representing all the songs in the album 🙂

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            I have never heard this album/will not pass judgement

          • Probably you will not like it. Opera symphonicore thingy. Check it out if you think you can pass it.

            I spinned that album a lot in the past years. And it’s still my favorite of Therion.

          • tertius_decimus

            Pretty much their best album ever.

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Fine, Fuck it. I’ll play it later.

          • woohoo! n_n)/

          • tertius_decimus

            You changed the avatar so rapidly that I’m still confused two minutes after.

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Yes ladies, I am THAT fast…

          • Nordling Rites ov “5 seconds rule” Karhu

          • at least isn’t the same of Ann and Scrimm, that was more confusing! jajaja

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            The Big Bearhead didn’t keep you tracked?

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            I thought it was a walrus, actually.

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Talking about my previous pic, this new here is a bear with a walrus head, courtesy of VV

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            For a second, I thought nature wanted to create a creature more fucked up than the platypus.

          • What’s your opinion in Vovin, Deggial and Theli?

            Also, I want a t-shirt with this bad artwork lol for maximum lolbuttz. It’s so bad it hurts:
            http://www.nuclearblast.de/static/articles/105/105802.jpg/1000×1000.jpg

          • tertius_decimus

            Vovin rules, Deggial rules, Theli rules. I’ve been at their shows two (or three times?) in 2005, 2007 and… (when?) and it was… well… the sound was lackluster. Bass player thought the music isn’t loud enough, so he amped it up to make EVERYTHING sound like a bass. But I still remember the rage at “To Mega Therion” as a closing act. Priceless.

          • Therion rulz, bro!

            “THE WORLD…
            WILL BURN!…
            BY SORAAAAAAAAAAAATHS…
            FLAAAAAAAME”

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            Oddly enough, Therion is one of the few bands my dad and I can agree on.

      • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))
        • tertius_decimus

          Developers stealin’!

        • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

          Looks like the startup menu for R-Type or Mushihime-sama Futari!

    • Stanley

      Here’s my entire collection. The Exodus hoodie is rank but I use if for gardening.

      • Stanley

        I haven’t been drinking. It’s only 7:55am here. Disqus gremlins.

      • tertius_decimus

        Celtic Frost, Kvelertak, Gojira, Exodus, which other two?

      • Stanley

        That would be Death Angel and Carcass.

    • Paris Hilton

      I agree! I just bought this shirt not too long ago. Even though it’s kinda corny Idgaf I think it’s cool as shit!

    • Reposted Avenged Sevenfold Fan

      once when i was younger i was almost compleatly emo but my mom ouwnt let me ware band names on my shirt and swetshirt so now life sucks.

      -i want to be emo, 3 years ago

    • HessianHunter
    • Supreme Chief Poopypanties
    • The only one you need:

  • Enemy Of The Free World

    Listening and enjoying this. http://theflenser.bandcamp.com/album/valis

    • Tyreeling In The Years

      Can’t get into that one unfortunately, but I found this incredible atmospheric black metal band last night that I can’t stop listening to.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szrNOfSXn4Y

      • Enemy Of The Free World

        This calls for a closer inspection.

        • Tyreeling In The Years

          I sent it to Masterpants last night, waiting to here what he thinks of it.

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Sounds like his piece o’ pie so far.

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Yup, I do dig this.

    • VVayne Brady

      That album is an endurance test.

      • Enemy Of The Free World

        Certainly, I cherry pick a song and put in middle of something else rather than listen to the whole album in one sit through.

  • DeadButtDreaming

    I am waiting for the day I see a shirt I actually own mentioned in this column.

    Then I will say nothing in order to save face.

  • I liked The Haunted last album and the cover art is good to me. I like it in the t-shirt, but I would want to duck tape the entire sentence in the back because it’s red, in caps, with a !. I just want to express my likeness for the album and I’m not wanting to venezuelans look at me as if I killed my hamster!

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    I’m ashamed to admit that I somewhat tolerate Amity Affliction because my sister loves them.

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    We should do a series on bad album covers. Wouldn’t that be awesome?

  • Enemy Of The Free World

    More playing and enjoying. Some Molenaarcore this time around.

    https://play.spotify.com/artist/6E1JWYGPrrJ95ibjlIYB26

    • Enemy Of The Free World

      Theologian is good, really. (you) Dig it too.

  • That Amity Affliction shirt is major league flushage.

  • JVVG

    Gee. I thought ‘potpourri’ was going to be a lead-in pun for poorly executed cannabis-themed shirts…

  • Paris Hilton

    Serj Tankian is the only person who can pull off that steam punk facial hair lol

    • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

      I’m not quite sure if he’s trying to look like Les Claypool, Tuomas from Nightwish, or the oil tycoon from There Will Be Blood on that shirt. Or the love child from a steamy threesome between those three.

  • Excellent write-up as usual. For me, I liked the last The Haunted album but I didn’t think it was really great. For me, The Haunted have always been one of those second rate bands who release material that is pretty consistently good but never make anything the make you levitate by the balls.

  • Hans Müller

    that Amity Affliction shirt is actually based on a Thrasher shirt. Saw a guy wearing it right after reading this today. It’s a mad mad etc world.