Shirt Stains: Misogyny

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A basket full of puppies will help us get through this.

Misogyny: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.
Misogynist: a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women.

Misogyny is a worldwide problem. It’s unfortunate to say, but the metal world is full of misogyny and misogynists. As much as we might like to think we’re “all-inclusive”, sadly we know that’s not the case. How many times have you heard “People only like them because their singer is a hot chick” or “She doesn’t really like metal” or “She only wears band shirts to look cool”? It’s a rush to judgment and an automatic dismissal based solely on gender.

Plenty of bands are certainly guilty of misogyny as well. Glassjaw, for example, has notoriously cringe-worthy lyrics that could easily be co-opted into “men’s rights” talking points. Does death metal get a pass for stuff like this just because it’s death metal and it’s supposed to be terrible and brutal? If a fedora-wearing Surge-sipper said those lyrics, you would shove them into the nearest locker. Entire subgenres of music are built solely on violence towards women. That’s no good.

This isn’t even getting into the objectification of women in metal. How many times do we see “Hottest Chicks in Metal”? Do we ever get “Top 10 Hottest Schlongs In Metal” in Terrorizer or “Brutal Bulges And Buns 2015” in Metal Hammer? One day we’ll get a cheesecake pin-up of George “Corpsegrinder” Fisher. Just you wait.

Shirt Stains is a column to point out ridiculous merch from metal bands. The intent is always to make people laugh. I really hope you do. For this edition, I hope it makes you think a little too. I do not expect people to stop listening to certain bands just because of a little silly column, but perhaps it can start a meaningful conversation that will help both the genre and the fans move forward. Be good to each other.

For this special edition of Shirt Stains, I have asked fellow ToH writer Sarah Lafayette to give her take on each shirt. Her comments are labeled SL.

The following shirts contain language and pictures that some may find offensive. NSFW warning.

Asking Alexandria – Classycore.
askingalexandriamisogony

Asking Alexandria are no strangers to Shirt Stains. It’s like they’re trying to make their fans into giant warning lights. They could stick their shirts on the tops of buildings to let pilots know they’re too close. While previous shirts have just been ugly or bad in design, this one just makes me shake my head. This is what you want your fans wearing? It’s lowest-common denominator bullshit that sends the wrong message to young fans, both female and male. “Listen to us and you will give/receive oral pleasuring”?

Is it even worth pointing out that blond-haired girl appears to be sucking on the model’s belly button? Is it worth pointing out that the band’s name is covered once and tiny a second time? Is it worth pointing out that the model has the most punchable face this side of Rand Paul? Even if you want to make the argument that the “giver” may be male, it’s still so weird and wrong to have this on your merch. This shirt manages to be stupid AND ugly at the same time.

SL: I’m not even going to go into how much I hate Asking Alexandria, because that would take all day. Instead I’m just going to reiterate the fact that no female with any kind of intelligence would find this funny for longer than an eighth of a second. I’m trying to get into the head of someone who would buy this, but it’s difficult. I guess if I were going to a costume party dressed as the creepy guy who collects cans behind the 7-11, or the guy who lists his education on Facebook as “The School of Hard Knocks”, this would be a good shirt to wear. If I truly hated someone I’d steal this shirt and give it to them, because the idea of paying money for it makes me cringe. Hell, the idea that ink and fiber was wasted on this makes me cringe. The idea that somewhere, some guy said to his designer, “You know what would be funny? A picture of a chick going down on you on a t-shirt!” and the designer actually complied… that’s depressing. Were they drunk? I really hope so. I also kind of hope they saw the final product and felt the same shame we feel for any member of the human race that wears this.

 

I Declare War – I declare that this shirt sucks.
IDeclarWarshirtstains

This shirt has been covered elsewhere, but it is clearly worthy of being in Shirt Stains. Everything about this shirt is bad. Objectification and female loathing at it’s worst. This shirt comes free with a VHS copy of Girls Gone Wild that someone ordered off TV at 3 in the morning. It reduces women to just body parts while being aggressive and angry.

I’m sure the girl on the front is none to happy about this. You think she gets paid for her likeness? Not bloody likely. I hope I’m wrong, but I doubt it. I’m surprised I Declare War didn’t manage to cram in a mention of how “bitch deserves it” or “it’s her own fault”. Again, what type of person wears something like this? I’ll bet they have an extensive knife collection and talk about ethics in gaming journalism.

SL: This shirt follows the current trend of giant chunky letters on band t-shirts. I’m sure whoever designed this shirt saw the infamous Iced Earth poop t-shirt, and thought “How can we make it worse?” Clearly by grabbing a photo of someone’s cousin who was totally down with being on the front of a t-shirt and putting the word “cunt” on it. Nothing is edgier than cunt. Poop? Forget about it. Tits? Please. Cunt is new! Cunt is flashy! Cunt is something you will probably never experience if you actually buy this shirt, and if you do, may god have mercy on your soul for touching whatever cunt-owning creature is willing to see past the shirt you’re wearing.

 

Turbidity – I think you have some anger issues.
turbidityshirtstains

Turbidity is a the cloudiness of a fluid by caused particles in said fluid. It’s also a death metal band from Indonesia. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, holy Jeebus on a rusty pogo stick look at this shirt! It’s the violent scribblings of an angry teenage who got turned down for a date once and now hates everything with a uterus.

Multiple naked women violently assaulted by a Silent Hill-rejected demon. Does it need to just be women? No. Do they need to be naked? No. Do they need to be decapitated? No. Does there need to be a pool of blood underneath them? No. Does the demon have to look like it’s ready for some midnight lovin’? No. All of this was done with specifics in mind. The “YOU WILL DIE BITCH” in all-caps really hammers home the horrific hatred. Yay alliteration! Way to end this on a good note.

SL: I once knew a guy who was a very talented artist. He did the kind of grindcore art that featured death, decay, rot, demons, skulls, all the things we’d draw on our 11th grade notebooks. The problem was that the featured character in every piece was a naked woman being tortured in some way. Organs ripped out, sodomized by a knife, tits chewed on by a demon, ect. ect. ect. The pictures went from “Wow, nice shading!” to “Wow, you really have a thing for women being tortured”. I get the same feeling when I look at this design. Adding “YOU WILL DIE BITCH” brings it to a whole other level of discomfort, because at some point, somewhere, someone is paying money for this.

 

Emmure – It tastes like your own ass, Frankie.
emmuremisog

What would a Shirt Stains about misogyny be without an inclusion from our favorite modern poets, Emmure? Poet Laureate Frankie Palmeri crafts songs with the ladies in mind, after all. Even if this shirt wasn’t ridiculously terrible towards women, it would still end up on Shirt Stains. The powder blue is better suited for a newborn’s nursery, not a shirt. The light orange and yellow work for Easter candy. The multiple fonts as used simply to distract you from the fact that it is, in fact, an Emmure shirt. Don’t believe me? Here’s the back:

emmuremisog2

It’s like they tried to avoid being associated with their own stupid shirt. I don’t blame them. The model is really happy though. He’s all, “Yeeeeah the ladies down at Aeropostale are going to be all over me once they see this shirt!”

As to what Frankie’s wee-wee tastes like, I can only speculate that it’s a mixture of tar, stale beer, hot Clamato juice, and smegma.

SL: This shirt just goes to show that to some people, women are still considered property. Be it your mom, your girlfriend, your wife; they represent your masculinity, or lack thereof. So if someone fucks them, they have sullied your property, which makes you less of a man. This shirt goes as far as to say that your girl, your personal property, has sucked the t-shirt’s wearer’s dick. Therefore the wearer is superior, and everyone else is inferior. This shirt says to the world, “Here is a guy who still believes in archaic beliefs concerning gender roles, and that having one’s dick sucked by another man’s partner makes him a superior man”. Or, in short, “Here is a fucking dickwad”.

 

Ill Nino – Muy Mal
illninoshirtstains

Against all odds, Ill Nino are still alive and kicking. Plenty of us enjoyed their Revolution/Revolucion album when it came out. It was like a catchier, more mainstream cousin of Roots-era Sepultura. They also had Marc Rizzo’s back pack and spinkicks. Look, it was a simpler time, okay?

Ill Nino were all set to head out on tour with Otep, Kittie, and 36 Crazyfists this summer when the band Terror Universal was added. There was was a whole kerfuffle involving Otep accusing the singer of TU of sexually assaulting her and TU kicking him out. What does this have to do with Ill Nino? Some of their members are also in Terror Universal.

All of that brings me to this statement by Ill Nino following the blow-up: “ILL NINO does not condone any forced act of violence or sexual nature towards any human beings, nor will we tolerate violations of one’s personal space.”

Their own shirt might disagree with that statement.

SL: Men love tits. Especially tits that belong to a woman who’s being bound and gagged, because it’s even better when she can’t fight back. Also, lets make it look like her mouth is bleeding. Nothing says sexy like domestic violence!

 

I look forward to a calm, reasonable discussion in the comments section. This is, after all, a SJW blog, right?

SL: All of these shirts made me kind of depressed. If that was the intention, bravo designers! Bravo, bands! You do your part to ensure that people still think metal is for dudes.

 

(Image VIA)

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  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    I have actually seen someone wearing that “I Declare War” shirt…at a Periphery concert.

    • That person is probably not a very good friend.

    • You’ve got to wonder who would be stupid enough to wear these shirts in public. Then you you see someone wearing it and you think to yourself “there’s not a hand big enough in the world to face palm this guy with.”

  • KJM

    Wow. people wear those shirts?

  • Tyreeva Green
    • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

      Tyree (and any other MGLA maniacs out there): check out this interview with Mikko Aspa. There are no solid details about it yet, but apparently there is a new Mgla album in the works and coming down the pipeline from Northern Heritage. Byah!

      http://foreverslainzine.com/2015/04/interview-mikko-aspa-clandestine-blaze-from-finland/

      • BYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

        • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

          NO SOLAAAAAAACCCE!!

          • New Phlegein too, that’s pretty cool. And, uh, something from Satanic Warmaster, so, uh, I guess Joe has something to look forward to at least.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Hahahaha. Satanic Tyrant Werewolf is a clown. I’m legitimately surprised that people still buy Satanic Warmaster albums.*

            *Disclaimer: I haven’t listened to anything he has made in recent years so maybe he’s improved a lot.**

            **I highly, highly doubt that.

          • I listen to music from a lot of questionable types but come on, a Nazi AND a weeb? gtfo.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            At least have some convictions and pride if you’re going to be an ignorant racist.

          • The Beargod

            Tbh, He Satanic Tyrant Werwolf hasn’t used Nazi-imagery for sometime really. Music is mostly the same,plain and boring BM but he has a lot of fans.And puts up quite a good show. And used to be in Horna, which is good.

          • Tyreeva Green

            Satanic Warmaster is playing at Hell’s Headbash 2 in September. I’ll be curious to see that performance.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Horna is sweet. They bring those Finnish black metal riffs that are oh so tasty. But I never could get into SW. Just never did it for me.

          • The Beargod

            I can understand that. I am not very fond of his recorded output myself. So much similar and better stuff out there.

          • Tyreeva Green

            I love how that’s the only thing on the back of the CD case.

      • Tyreeva Green

        Merci chérie!

      • Stanley

        MGŁA!!!!

      • Stanley

        Also new Obsequiae, although it maybe too tuneful for you, HD.

        http://www.cvltnation.com/exclusive-cvlt-nation-streaming-obsequiae-pools-of-a-vernal-paradise/

        • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

          Never listened to them. I’ll have to give it a shot at some point.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Eva Green ❤

      Ya done good, Tyree. Ya done good.

      • Dagon

        I was going to leave something in this nature. Eva Green is bomb. I’m gon pull a Tyree off real soon, with pictures of my girl. I love you, boo!
        http://25.media.tumblr.com/d53066af5b4acb1bcaf599cb0be03597/tumblr_mp6x75MoOd1rmqkalo1_500.jpg

        • Tyreeva Green

          Adèle Exarchopoulos >>>>>

          • Dagon

            Mesmerizing. I spent the 3 hours of Blue Is The Warmest Color just staring at her in awe.

          • Tyreeva Green

            I picked that one up on Criterion a while ago. Great movie. Thanks for bringing that up, I let a buddy of mine barrow it months ago and have not gotten it back.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            I just picked up Eastern Promises on Bluray for the same reason, lent it to someone who never returned it. It’s likely the last movie I will ever purchase.

          • Tyreeva Green

            I like to collect DVD’s, but they have to we worth the purchase. That’s why I like Criterion material so much. It gets pricey, but I usually wait for their half off sales and buy a shit ton of their movies.

          • Dr. Dubz

            I know they released a Criterion version of Godzilla, King of the Monsters! You probably aren’t into that, but are Criterion versions worth it?

          • Tyreeva Green

            I’m sure it is, my one buddy who is a huge movie nerd loves Godzilla and he has that version. Check out what it offers on the Criterion website.

            http://www.criterion.com/films/27755-godzilla

          • Dr. Dubz

            That’s pretty cool. I’ll probably pick that up at some point.

          • Tyreeva Green

            Like I said, wait for their half off sales. They usually last a little while. I’ll let you know when the next one comes around.

          • Dr. Dubz

            Awesome!

          • Big Poppa Penis Pump

            I always just rented from the library back home and ripped it to my computer/dvd for later.

          • Dagon

            We’ve been through this before, but naked fight scenes in Turkish bath houses >>>>>>>>>>

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Only naked fight scenes in Turkish bath houses are real.

          • Dagon

            Have you seen the documentary Unhung Hero? There’s a hilarious scene on a South Korean Turkish bath house.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            I have not.

          • Dagon

            Netflix that shit. Too funny. And a bit alarming too.

          • Lacertilian
          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Goldeneye? My girl Famke? ❤

          • Big Poppa Penis Pump

            They also had one in Delhi Belly.

          • Dagon

            I hate when this happens.

          • Tyreeva Green

            Yup, that’s why I rarely ever let people barrow my stuff.

          • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

            Not even if it is a barrow full of puppies?

          • Tyreeva Green

            I’m not a smrt girl some times.

            http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m555hmTMUQ1rpvdji.gif

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            Awwww. They look so adorable.

          • Big Poppa Penis Pump

            Pretty much anything on Criterion is a solid bet.

          • Big Poppa Penis Pump

            I spent it on the top bunk, ummmmm taking in the beauty of the film and stuff.

  • FeelTheDarknesses

    Turdidity is more like it

  • “One day we’ll get a cheesecake pin-up of George ‘Corpsegrinder’ Fisher.”

    I’m going to put that on my ceiling so I can stare at it at night before I go to sleep.

  • Dr. Dubz

    I’d be down for exploiting and objectifying the hunky dudes around these parts. People would pony up a lot of money for a Men of the Toilet ov Hell calendar.

    In all seriousness, misogyny in metal needs to go away. it’s totally fine if bands have attractive women in them and if those women want to be attractive. Just don’t be weird about it, and don’t reduce the band to a pair of T&A.

  • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

    Tastes like his own ass? Does that mean that Frankie from Emmure can actually fuck himself in the ass? Because, I mean, if he were physically capable of doing that, he would probably be pretty proud of it. I’m sure he would write at least three songs about it.

    Also, women are probably just upset about these shirts because they are on their periods or something.

  • KJM

    I never got the whole “women don’t like Metal” thing. Every metal show I’ve been to there’s been plenty, and they certainly weren’t there just to “look cool”.

    • more beer

      It is absolute bullshit. It`s not that women don`t like metal. They just don`t like the idiots making that statement.

      • KJM

        For example, I can assure you there were many women at the Weedeater show Wednesday night, even one who was (gasp) an old friend.

        • more beer

          Same at the Cephalic Carnage show i was at on Wednesday. Actually every show I go too. I just figure the only ones saying that crap just have no social skills.

          • old_man_doom

            Sorry for distracting from the thread, but how was Cephalic Carnage? Did they play anything new? I’m dying for a new CC album.

          • more beer

            Cephalic were excellent the other night. Best set I`ve seen by them in a while. Pretty sure they did play a new song. I smoked quite a bit of herb before their set as it should be.

        • Lacertilian

          Did you see King Parrot supporting?
          That would have been a good show

          • KJM

            I showed up late but caught their last 2 songs. They’re good but not my thing really.

    • I went to a Pig Destroyer show in NYC last year and the ratio of girls to guys only tipped slightly in favor of guys.

    • old_man_doom

      I just watched a recap video from Roadburn 2015, and I’ve decided that I’m 100% going to Roadburn 2016, not only for the amazing bands and drunken good times, but there were a ton of great-looking women there. Who’s going with me?

      • KJM

        I’d go every year if I could.

    • Max

      They do. It’s just that for every one that does, there’s ten that don’t. (As opposed to the, oh, 7 or 8 men that don’t for every guy that does.)

  • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

    This reminds me of a shirt I saw of Hed PE at one of their converts that offended me greatly. It was a naked nun with tape over her boobs fingering herself with a rosary. I later walked out of their show.

    • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

      That sounds like the cover art for Marduk’s Fuck Me Jesus EP.

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        It was pretty disgusting and I won’t post it. It offended the religious portion of me and the portion of me that hates misogyny.

        • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

          Actually, I just checked. The Marduk cover is similar (naked woman masturbating with a crucifix), but I think you are talking about the Cradle of Filth Vestal Masturbation t-shirt (which I won’t post because it contains legit nudity, but Google it if you want).

          • Tyreeva Green
          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Would immediately purchase CD because of the cover/10.

          • Tyreeva Green

            Yup, they have the shirt over at Hells Headbangers online store. I got it, but still need to find the EP.

          • Better not let your family see it, they’ll get mad again.

          • Tyreeva Green

            Good advice. They are already furious that I get naked in so many of my movies. They think I’m dirty.

          • I guess in that case they’ll be happy to see you in anything.

          • Tyreeva Green

            It’s all working out for me.

          • I like how they were pissed with the art presentation of New Zealand with that shirt.

            To me, it was typical rage-atheist rant about “lack of freedom-speech” and “disrespect” from part of other believers. I mean, they make that shirt just to publicity and exploit the “zatan” stuff, they don’t have to be mad if that backfire them.

  • Guacamole Jim

    >be me, 24
    >read this article at work
    >”Instead I’m just going to reiterate the fact that no female with any kind of intelligence would find this funny for longer than an eighth of a second.”
    >show shirt to femanon coworker
    >she thinks it’s hilarious and would wear/10
    >mfw

    http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130129033734/pagepedia/images/7/74/The-Sisko-is-not-impressed-benjamin-sisko-21329912-300-231.gif

    • Time to nuke everything

      • MoshOff

        Isn’t Dragonflame like 100x more effective than nukes?

        • That would be a grievous misuse of dragonflame

    • guac how to get sexy grils that like my t-shirts?

      • Guacamole Jim

        lol bro tell them skanks to suk ur dik then get there frends to do it 2

    • ChuggaChuggaDeedleyDoo

      Which particular shirt?

      • Guacamole Jim

        The Asking Alexandria one.

    • rich

      Poe’s law makes it difficult to discern legit hatred from jokes.
      Combine that with the internet’s lack of tone-of-voice and trolls and you get years of wasted “offendedness.”
      I’m happy someone can laugh at it instead of having their mood lowered.

      Goes to show one should never presume knowledge of such a large subset of humanity’s opinion.

  • Shrimp ov Good Opinions <3

    Now personally, I do not believe the internet is a place for these kind of discussions, but I’ll still give a couple of opinions:
    I agree that women are extremily objectified, but being pissed off just because of rapey song lyrics in a death metal song, or a naked chick being on a shirt is kind of overreacting. The Emmure and Asking Alexandria shirts are flat out disgusting, but I don’t see the Turbidity shirt as being misogynist, just your typical “look at me guys im edgy n stuff” band shirt, the Ill Nino one could be argued about, but if the band members themselves have stated that they don’t condone that kind of bullshit, I don’t see how a stupid shirt design would make them lying misogynist dicks.

  • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

    Also besides all these shirts being extremely offensive and making me very angry I saw a thing about Glassjaw lyrics and Surge. The Glassjaw lyrics offend most people but a vast minority of Surge drinkers like these shirts. They’re mostly people who wanted the soda back such as myself. I apologize for ranting but I had to clear up the thing about Surge.

    • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

      “…Glassjaw lyrics and Surge.”

      The username may change, but the JJD is forever.

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        I hate Glassjaw. Their lyrics are very offensive to women and I hate misogyny more than anything.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          Which lyrics?

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            I’m awaiting JJD to Google Glassjaw lyrics he finds that are “very offensive” to women.

          • MoshOff
          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            I clicked the link in the beginning of the article. I did not see as many offensive lyrics as I previously thought.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            Have you ever listened to Glassjaw?

          • Even he’s not that much of a poser, you poser.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            I used to. I haven’t heard them in a while.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            I clicked that link too, lol

        • But for some reason you hate SJWs?

          • Guacamole Jim

            JJD is an enigma. Do not attempt to question his motives, you mere mortal.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            I’m not going to get into that. I’m respected by all my female friends because I treat them like human beings. Not many people I know do that.

          • Dr. Dubz

            That’s kind of part of being an adult.

          • Guacamole Jim

            You’d think that….. and yet these shirts exist.

          • Dr. Dubz

            Manchildren, dude.

          • Guacamole Jim

            … who can vote, and drink, and get married, and make adult decisions. All the privilege of an adult, and none of the maturity. I know too many people like this (thank you, Alberta’s oil patch).

          • MoshOff

            I knew a woman who once said that people who want to have kids should have to go through the same rigorous stuff that families that want to adopt dogs do, and I kind of agree.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Bring back the literacy tests for voting! The people have spoken! Literacy tests and poll taxes for a better tomorrow!

          • MoshOff

            DEAN ‘016

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            And we’re going to end women’s suffrage! They’ve been suffraging for too damn long! It stops here and now!

            Dean in ’16

          • Dr. Dubz

            Have you ever seen one of those old school literacy tests? I recently saw an old one from Louisiana. It was worded strangely so as to confuse African Americans.

          • Dagon

            I’m not bashing on you or anything, as I used it when I was in America, but I really dislike the term “African Americans”.

            The gubnment tried to do it in Brazil a couple years ago, with something like “Afrodescendents” and they caught tremendous backlash from the people. I just think it makes no sense to call someone who’s like 4th or 5th generation American something else, you know what I mean?

          • Dr. Dubz

            Different cultures, I guess. Most people aren’t offended by black/African American, but referring to a group of people as “blacks” still sounds awkward.

          • Guacamole Jim

            It’s a weird line. Here, in official documents and more formal settings, African-American is used, but in casual speech everyone says “black” or “white.” Though the term “blacks” seems more racist than “black people.”

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™
          • Dr. Dubz

            I get the point, but I don’t think it’s about what I think someone should be called.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            What about just calling one individual a “black person”?

            My girlfriend is a social worker so I talk with about stuff like this fairly regularly. She told me that calling people “Hispanic” was no longer socially acceptable and that it was appropriate to use “Latino” in its stead. I had no idea when that happened.

          • Dr. Dubz

            Hispanic is still the official federal designation, so it’s what I used in my dissertation, but I think latino is preferred.

          • more beer

            That is kind of strange since the census people don`t consider Hispanic a race. I was at my friends house who was a very proud Hispanic when they came to do the census in Albuquerque. When they asked him what race he was he told them Hispanic. They told him that wasn`t an option. Then proceeded to tell him he was either black or Caucasian. Well needless to say that didn`t get a good reaction from my friend.

          • Dr. Dubz

            Ah, let me clarify that. The census differentiates between race and ethnicity. The races fall into basically five categories: White, black, native American, Asian, and Pacific Islander (with some more specific sub-categories). The only ethnicities are Hispanic and non-Hispanic, so you are classified by both a race and an ethnicity in the data.

          • more beer

            your explanation was much clearer than the guy doing the census. He just kept telling him Hispanic wasn`t an option. Like I said my friend was a very proud man who was proud of his culture. This guy really pissed him off. I`m saying was due to the fact that he passed away 2 years ago.

          • First defending Glassjaw, now linking to Maddox…trve misogynist over here.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™
          • It is cultural differences.

            Venezuela is a weird case of race acceptance because the mixed race. It’s very common here to talk about ‘chinos’, ‘negros’ and ‘blancos/catires’ without anyone being triggered.

            Venezuela is like Brasil, according to Dagon comment. In fact, we passed the same legal stuff were the goverment wanted to use Afrodescendent and even the “african american” community was laughing and some scholars laughed too because it was stupid to refer them as that way because we the north of south américa have the most mixed race in the entire world.

          • Dagon

            Fucking socialists.

          • I don’t know what’s on their mind when they want to make this “inclusion” so weird.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Yeah, I have. Similar wording and style to the old (pre-modern) SAT. A lot of old SAT verbal questions were phrased in ways that poor, lower class people wouldn’t understand, or used analogies that wouldn’t make sense to someone who was of the lower classes (ex. “Soup to nuts” as an analogy for beginning to end–most of the lower class wouldn’t know that traditional formal dinners began with soup and ended with nuts).

          • Dr. Dubz

            Ha, I do SAT tutoring and had no idea about that. Thanks for sharing that with me.

          • “Soup to nuts” sounds like something a disgruntled restaurant worker would do.

          • Dr. Dubz

            And, just like that, Dane Cook becomes relevant again. “Yeah, carpe deez nuts! God, I can’t wait to quit this job.” – Waiting.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Teabag that motherfucker’s clam chowder! Rake your pube patch all over that tomato soup!

          • Sign me up for that, the world needs a smarter voting public.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Seriously? Not that many people you know do that? Do you mostly only know outlaw bikers and NFL players? Like Dubya said, treating people with respect/like humans is part of being an adult.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            I know a lot of douchebros. I’m also basically 20 so most of the guys I knew in high school are still like this. That wasn’t that long ago.

        • Couldn’t disagree harder about Glassjaw.. My wife loves them (and anything Darryl does).

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        I still like Glassjaw, lol

    • I don’t think Surge-drinkers are a protected minority class.

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        They aren’t. I just know that most people I know who like Surge are normal people who remember the soda fondly.

        • YourLogicIsFlushed

          Jesus, I love that I can never tell if you are trolling. Stay JJD forever.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            That’s the beauty of it.

    • Is “vast minority” an oxymoron?

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        I’ll phrase it as very very very few people who drink Surge like these shirts.

  • Nice to get a lady’s perspective on this and Sarah’s right on target. These shirts and bands are mostly catering to ignorant jock bros and reinforcing that mistreatment of women is OK.

    • KJM

      Yep, dude bros and jocks ruin everything.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        WTF BRO

    • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

      I absolutely despise bros who mistreat women and have been very outspoken about this in real life. That’s why a lot of douchebros from my high school didn’t like me but they didn’t ever mess with me due to my popularity.

      • high school bro’s crack me up. you probably had more female friends because of your views!

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        Are you slipping back into the dark side, JJD? Are we to await the revival of the manager of the car dealership and Torrie Wilson stories?

        • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

          No. This is completely truthful and I know people who can attest to how well liked and popular I was. I also didn’t sleep at all last night.

          • That’s cool and all, but remember you’re commenting on a METAL BLOG. No one cares about popularity in high school.

          • Jealousy isn’t your best look.

          • Tyreeva Green

            How nice, for you.

    • It is OK?

      • No, definitely not. That’s the message these shirts are sending however.

  • I Declare Nerds.

  • Stanley

    They are rough! I challenge any of you to wear one of those shirts around to your (future) in-laws for Sunday dinner. You’ll probably get a good pasting of the old man.

    • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

      Most fathers-in-law would raise an eyebrow if you showed up in any metal band shirt. In-laws don’t play that shit.

      • Dr. Dubz

        I can confirm this.

      • Lacertilian

        Do it anyway.
        Having a healthy relationship with her parent’s is over rated anyway.
        At least they know where you stand when you rock up with a metal shirt on, maybe ease up on any corpse painting though.

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))
    • CyberneticOrganism

      Sex-IST

    • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

      I love Spinal Tap and this part was funny. Still not as funny as the puppet show part though.

    • Tyreeva Green

      Hey look, it’s Chuck McGill.

  • The God Emperor of Mankind

    Reminds me of this Black Flag shirt I saw with each band member’sname beneath a very veiny weeny. Dunno if it was made by a disgruntled ex-member my first inclination was it was made by Greg to make the penis above Rollins’ name seem smaller but they’re equal opportunity. It’s NSFW and I don’t feel like using my godlike immortal powers to tell your boss to not fire you today.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    *pats all these bands reassuringly on the back*

    Yes, you’re very edgy and tuff. You’re hard as fuck and everyone knows it.

  • For me, I encountered Glassjaw at a time in my life when I was not doing well with the ladies. I related to it in terms of relationships can be frustrating and listening to them helped understand that maybe I’m chasing after the wrong type of girl.

    • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

      I never thought about their lyrics that way but I’m not a fan of their sound. I’ll give them another chance.

      • A lot people don’t like the singer’s voice but he sounds like he’s influenced by Mike Patton and the lyrics are catchy. Could be an aquired taste.

    • I’m glad you mentioned this, because I was going to. The misogyny claims against Glassjaw are well known, but I think unfounded. I always took those particular lyrics to be addressing a specific individual, not all women in general. I could be wrong of course, or like you, I could have been using my own experiences at the time they were around.

      These shirts, on the other hand, are awful.

  • Also I’d like to note the shirt models in this post are deserving of a cinder block to the head.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Agreed

    • MoshOff

      brb finishing “My life as a Victory Records shirt model”

      • Big Poppa Penis Pump

        Which means “he told me the check’s in the mail……….. It’s only been 6 months”.

  • Dagon

    Ill Niño was the least terrible.

    Emmure takes this week’s edition. Fucking terrible.

    • Maik Beninton

      Asking Alexandria is the most offensive one.

    • Guacamole Jim

      Actually, the AA one was the one that disgusted me the most. But they were all pretty fucking terrible. It’s interesting to see the divide between the “metal” ones (i.e. the Cannibal Corpse style art) and the straight up “women are inferior to men” ones. Both are gross and shouldn’t exist. You can argue all you want that it’s for shock value – okay, maybe so. But that doesn’t make it right.

      • Dagon

        Honestly, I think it comes across as childish more than actually “shocking”. Whoever had the ideas for these shirts is probably like 12 years old.

        Which I am, at times, but I’m not going to put it on a fucking t-shirt.

        • MoshOff

          brb making a shirt with

          SOMETIMES
          I’M
          FUCKING
          TWELVE

          in block font on the back. That would be SO EDGY.

      • Big Poppa Penis Pump

        I’m really trying to figure out if that’s even a woman on the AA shirt. Looks like the model is getting head from the singer of Puddle Of Mudd.

        • Guacamole Jim

          hahaha is the assumption that it’s a woman inherently sexist?

          • Big Poppa Penis Pump

            Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe!

    • Big Poppa Penis Pump

      We are talking about the same assholes who wrote a song promoting school shootings. I guess Emmure simply gooshed in their undies when they heard about Newtown, then. I’m glad they got with Victory Records, run by the biggest scam artist this side of Blake Judd.

  • Thanks for this piece, 365. I really enjoyed it and liked the comments of our Sarah with this delicate theme. Kudos for that. I think the comments were very spot on.

    Also, ya’ll need some Cretin: dudes, girls and the vocalist is transexual. And what’s the best of this? No one focus on that, the sexes are not a gimmick not even touched in interviews. They deliver crushing merol without focusing in their stuff. The merol world needs to learn about them. The misoginy and the “female fronted” tags needs to be stopped, just focus in the music and be interested in the art. That’s what it moves, not he sex of the people that made it.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83rrSxeGrLI

  • Dagon

    Hypocritical thought of the day: I frown upon misogyny in metal because it usually comes out as boring and uninspired shit, but I know I love me some misogyny in my hip hop. What the fuck is up with that?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8qgp3yT1rQ

    • It’s catchier in hip-hop?

      • Dagon

        I don’t know, but probably that has something to do with it. Nate Dogg’s voice is so fucking smooth he could be singing about killing my mother with a lawnmower and I would be loving it.

        R.I.P. NATE

      • It IS fun to say awful things over a catchy beat.

        DRUNK DRIVIN’ ON A WEDNESDAAAAAY
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0ijOe3sGEk

        • Dagon

          HUZZAH!

        • Dagon

          It’s also better to talk about your penis, like “I’mma spin the whole world on the tip of my dick” or “I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel tower so I can fuck the world for 72 hours” over a catchy beat than over a breakdown or a tremolo riff.

          • Big Poppa Penis Pump

            Breakdowns (and metalcore in general) is proof of someone whose dick will probably get no bigger than a bean sprout, much less big enough to spin the world on it.

          • J.R.

            Haha made me think of this

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_etjeWaj7Fg

            Probably the best thing I have ever listened to

        • Tyreeva Green

          I don’t know why I decided to push play on this, but I want to fucking die so badly. This was just awful.

          • If you don’t like this you’re probably never gonna like any rap.

          • Tyreeva Green

            That settles that then.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            You and me against the world. I do like NWA and Ice T though

          • J.R.

            I like rap and I didn’t like that song.
            Of course I mainly like super dank gangster rap. Im in the “gateway rap” stages though. Definitely not as versed in it as country/metal

    • I’M ON VACATION!

      For whatever reason, it often comes off a lot more tongue-in-cheeck in hip-hop than it does in metal. It’s more “lets get drunk and have sex” and less “get over here bitch.”

    • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

      I agree. This community gives rap/hip hop artists more of a pass for misogyny/other negative themes than it does to metal artists. Maybe it’s because it’s primarily a metal-concentrated community, so it is more critical of what it likes and focuses on. Or maybe it’s because the community is predominately white, and doesn’t really dare to confront the negative things perpetuated by an art/culture that is comprised of predominately black people with the same verve and vigor with which it confronts the predominately white metal artists. It’s an issue of comfort and safety

      I’d go with the latter.

      • Dr. Dubz

        I don’t know if that’s true in every case. Joe and I were talking the other day about how homophobia was pretty historically prevalent in rap culture but often gets a pass when people are criticizing it. I think the awareness is there.

        • Dagon

          Have you seen this dude? Dude can spit. And he is really gay, a description Louis CK hilariously addressed.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrnq4SZ0luc

          • KJM

            I remember long ago having a convo with a friend who wondered how the general public would handle a Gay MC who was as up front about their sexuality as the hetero ones.

          • Dagon

            I didn’t post my favorite Le1f song because the video is NSFWish but if you want to check it out, youtube “Spa Day”.

            Can’t get any more upfront than that. Although he will probably never make it to the mainstream due to his production choises more than his gayness.

            Frank Ocean published an open letter in which he comes forth telling about homosexual experiences and struggling to accept them. He is very involved in both the rap and the r&b worlds.

            http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6me6uSdO81qdrz3yo1_1280.png

          • Big Poppa Penis Pump

            Which is odd, because Odd Future (the group he raps with) has some VERY homophobic and misogynist lyrics, though at times I do think they’re being tongue in cheek more than anything.

        • KJM

          That’s why I don’t listen to anything NWA related anymore. Even 25 years ago I would find myself skipping certain tracks because they made me cringe.

          • “She Swallowed It” is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.

          • KJM

            Easily.

          • Big Poppa Penis Pump

            I always thought it was hilarious in a juvenile way, just like ‘Automobile’ and well, the entire second album for that matter. It’s when they went into full caricature mode.

      • Dagon

        I think you have a point, but to me, personally, I think it has even more to do with the overall atmosphere of the music. Or maybe it’s just because I grew up listening to Black Sabbath and 2pac in tandem, so I’m used to certain lyrical contents in each musical genre.

      • Big Poppa Penis Pump

        Well, take a look at how much of a pass Eminem’s gotten over the years for misogyny and homophobia, which comprises a good chunk of his work (and no, I don’t believe he’s not a homophobe just because he got Elton John to play on stage with him for a minute). One of his new songs involves talking about raping Niki Minaj and punching Lana Del Ray a la Ray Rice, and people just simply took it in stride.

        Or think of the overall pass Chris Brown’s gotten, and the staggering fact that most of his fan base is female. How he has any career at all is a testament to the power of human stupidity.

    • KJM

      Nah, I don’t really dig it there either.

    • What about reggaeton?

  • I’M ON VACATION!

    Sad. Nobody wins from this shit. It makes us all look bad. I will say that I’m happy so many people here understand why this is fucked up; if this were a buzzfeed article that was shared on Facebook, the comments would be atrocious I’m sure.

  • Goat of Dank desires

    Most venomous Shirt Stains yet. Good job 365DoH and Sarah.

  • OldMetalHead

    Each one more vile than the other. The last one is outright BDSM porn. I’m assuming some people – the 50 shades of Grey crowd? – are into that. However, I certainly wouldn’t want my band associated with it or any of the others.

    • OldMetalHead
      • Dagon

        I will never understand this. Dude can’t get it hard anymore, what’s the point of having a 4 kg dong that doesn’t work?

        • OldMetalHead

          Yeah. I don’t really understand extreme body modification. For the people that have them, it seems like their need for attention far outweighs having a normal functioning body.

          • Dagon

            This. Have you seen eyeball coloring?

          • Big Poppa Penis Pump

            Yep, and unsurprisingly, several people have ended up going blind from that. There was a woman (used to be a he) who got cement and tire sealant injected into her ass, and just got a facelift that she’s apparently in love with (how I’ll never know).

            https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2015/04/ad_165872223.jpg

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          The look on his face is one of regret

      • Óðhinn

        Wtf?

      • Óðhinn

        Does my dick look fat in these pants?

        • OldMetalHead

          Lol!

      • Max

        That’s a strange place to graft a tit.

    • Spear

      Just popping in to say that there’s nothing abusive about BDSM so long as all parties are fully consenting.

      Edit: Not saying that that shirt is okay, of course.

      • OldMetalHead

        I wasn’t trying to imply that BDSM had to be abusive, but the shirt does look similar to some of the BDSM pictures I’ve seen.

      • Big Poppa Penis Pump

        It went past BDSM and straight into torture porn territory. Two completely different things.

        • Spear

          Right, I just wasn’t clear on what OMH was saying in his original post. But we’re all on the same page now, it’s all gravy.

    • The BDSM community actually really disapproves of 50 Shades of Grey.

      • The Beargod

        50 Shades of Gray was all kinds of wrong.

  • Here’s more puppies to lighten the mood:

  • Mother Shabubu III

    I had to chuckle at the “Fuck your Tits! Show me your cunt!” one. It’s just…so blatant.

    • Big Poppa Penis Pump

      Mentioning that Iced Earth shirt on that one, and the overall theme of this gave me a brilliant idea.

      “Fuck your cock, show me your poop!”

  • cheeayahh brah I got all these shirts yo

  • Big Poppa Penis Pump

    Lolbuttz, that’s a girl on the Asking Alexandria shirt?! It looks like the model is either getting a belly button blowjob from Spikoli from ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’ or the hippie teacher from Beavis And Butthead.

    • Óðhinn

      “Ask your girl what my dick tastes like…No, really. I love tasting dicks. My only problem is that I can’t taste my own. It makes me sad. Very sad. I need to know!”

      • Big Poppa Penis Pump

        This is the kind of guy who gives himself a Turkish Snowcone.

        http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Turkish+Snowcone

        • Óðhinn
          • Big Poppa Penis Pump

            Awwwwwwwwwww, the power of Urban Dictionary! It should be required reading in schools.

          • Óðhinn

            Yes. The best part of Urban Dictionary is when they use the word in a sentence. It always make me laugh.

          • Big Poppa Penis Pump

            I actually learned from UD that all those sex terms in Deuce Bigalow European Gigalos are actual slang terms. A golden nugget of wisdom indeed!

  • JWG

    As a hint to help figure out how often I’ve been accused of liking a band because the singer has ladyparts, here’s a random but alphabetical selection from my music collection:
    – Arkona
    – Draconian
    – Epica
    – Huntress
    – Sirenia
    -Tristania
    – Unleash the Archers

    Also, until I point out that it’s all just Mike Scheidt doing vocals, most people unfamiliar with Yob will say something similar about them. Fortunately it ends there. I suspect if they were truly horrible people the next thing they’d say would be “he used to be a woman, right?” – precisely because I’ve seen that very response on the internet.

    [[Side note: how can you be sure that Asking Alexandria aren’t just implying something equally terrible about Garth Algar?]]

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    I don’t think there’s anything fundamentally wrong with things like the Turbidity picture, the wording is what pushes it over the edge. The trouble is more makers/consumers who are seriously into that kind of imagery (as in it turns on their actual perceptions of the world), rather than just because it amuses them.

  • Óðhinn
  • Óðhinn

    Emmure, Ill Nino, Asking Alexandria. Why am I not surprised?

  • Lacertilian

    Sarah’s contributions really hit the nail on the head here.

  • richie

    “but perhaps it can start a meaningful conversation that will help both
    the genre and the fans move forward. Be good to each other.”
    What an utterly patronising statement to the vast majority of metal fans everywhere.

    • richie

      Ah, sorry. You’re right to make fun of stupid things, but why such a preachy tone? The majority of fans I’ve met have been egalitarian and the few who weren’t were racists, rather than sexist.

      A significant amount of metal has involved shock-value, many people just “claimed” to be satanists to get attention or piss of parents, usually by media saying bad things about that. “All press is good press” is probably what Glassjaw is thinking right now!

      There is a difference between a fedora-wearing stereotype you used actually SAYING something to you, and lyrics. Fantasy is different to reality.

      We can explore dark places in art. Just as we can read books or watch movies about psychotic killers that escape.

      The entire article pangs of wanting censorship – which I loathe. Nazis, sexists, etc,etc, deserve free speech too.

      I politely disagree with a lot of what you said and kinda “feel bad” because I could rant almost write 60% of the words you did about it – and I don’t want to waste your time.

      I also feel you used a lot of unfair stereotypes to your imaginary opposition in an very “us vs them” manner that contradicts your wish for a reasonable dialogue below.

      You don’t say “I want a reasonable discussion” and then pre-emptively call people who may disagree with “gamegaters/neckbeards” or whatever it is.

      I’ve come to expect a lot from this site and was planning to contact an author (who did not appear here) with something related, but bleh. I’m going to go listen to metal with my girlfriend, whom I love, and try to forget this.

      The entire article reeks of wanting to censor lyrics. Freedom of speech and freedom of expression means people you disagree with get a voice too, even if 90% of the world think they are assholes. And most of the time I’d wager they’re just doing it for shock value.

      tl;dr:
      I’m glad you’re making fun of sexists.
      JESUS H CHRIST that preachiness and stereotype usage.

      • richie again

        Wish I never posted, really. Apologies. Delete if you wish.

        • Dr. Dubz

          Whom were you wanting to contact?

        • CyberneticOrganism

          TOILET OV HELL | Wish I never posted, really.

  • sjysjo

    You ucking oversensitive feminist cunts. Its fuckin humor. And the fact that you don’t have Cradle of filth golden nuggets like “Dead girls don’t say no, Cemetery slut, I suck and pictures of masterbating nuns, Crucified women and much more. Shows your complete lack of research. You could find shirts that makes this shit look kid friendly. But the sjw / feminist whining is the most important element. Right?