You Pick the Sexiest Dude in Metal: THE FUCKABLE FINALS
We’ve gone through thirty two dudes to bring you down to this final round of hot man-on-man action! Today you’ve gotta make your selection, who is THE sexiest dude in all of metal?
Inspired by Revolver Magazine, who, against all odds and relevance, just published their annual collection of the “25 HOTTEST CHICKS IN HARD ROCK”, we’ve decided to reduce humanity to its basest, most bangable instincts. The TovH writing staff made our selections for 32 of our favorite heavy metal hunks and we’ve placed them all in sweaty head-to-head competition against each other for our own carnal amusement. We’ve decided to include metal guys young and old, in addition to a couple of dearly departed, especially sexy dudes. Which hottie will take home the crown of Sexiest Dude in Metal? It’s up to you, the reader. Make your picks and then put your bold predictions for the tournament in the comments.
Before we get the new contests, let’s look at the results of the last round of voting!
Peter Steele (195) vs Chuck Schuldiner (166)
Doug Moore (183) vs Andy Williams (173)
It was a tough battle for all of our worthy competitors. Notice that the vote totals are much, much lower after I required captcha for all votes. Was there collusion all along the tourney or are you guys just really, really lazy?🤔🤔🤔
Peter Steele (Type O Negative)
Despite the fact that he’s been dead for seven years, it’s hardly a surprise that the 6′ 7″ Type O Negative frontman made it to the championship round of this contest. Peter Steele was gothic sexiness incarnate. Tall, pale, and with a monster dong, Peter was the ideal vampiric man. From his work in Fallout and Carnivore, through his long career with Type 0 Negative, Peter proved himself as a great musician and an undeniable sexy dude. He earned his top seed in the bracket. Will he pull through and win the title?
DOUG MOORE (PYRRHON)
Doug Moore is the Cinderella story of this sexy dude search. Pyrrhon is both the newest and least accessible band represented in this competition and yet Doug has thoroughly slayed his competition. He laid waste to a Megadeth guitarist, a sexy and stylish Animal As Leader, and most impressively, Greg fuckin’ Puciato. With a long resume that includes fronting Pyrrhon, Seputus, Weeping Sores, editing Invisible Oranges, and getting swole af, can Doug Moore pull off the upset and claim the crown of sexiest dude in metal? Dear reader, you must decide.