Serious Black – Serious Black Magic: A Video Breakdown

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Seriously.

Bands, never stop doing music videos with green screens and computer effects. I’m not saying this for your benefit, I’m saying it for mine. As long as bands continue to pantomime in front of stuff that isn’t really there, I will never run out of music videos to break down. 9.9999 times out of 10, these videos do not look good and, with constant advancements in technology, look even worse over time. So, yes. Keep doing things like today’s video from power metal band and depository for musicians from more popular bands Serious Black.

 

0:04: “Serious Black, do you like me? Circle ‘Yes’ ‘No’ or ‘Maybe'”
0:10: The moon isn’t the only thing made out of cheese in this video.
0:17: Time to find a better concept.
0:19: Huh. When he said he was going to “polish his skull” I just thought he meant he was going to jerk off.
0:25: The drummer gets a 15-yard penalty for having a Lincoln beard in 2017.
0:32: That’s the correct reaction to finding Serious Black playing in a random alley.
0:37: M’Serious Lady.
0:45: Look out! He’s headed right for us!
0:48: Told you there was a lot of cheese in this video.
0:53: That goatee has seen many a Sweet Tart in its lifetime.
0:57: Did…did birds just fly out from his shoulder blades?
1:05: One top hat-wearing member in your band is bad. Two is a war crime.
1:14: That bandanna is not period-appropriate. This entire video is now ridiculous and unbelievable.
1:23: Nice to see the creature from the Aphex Twin‘s “Come To Daddy” video still getting work.
1:30: If you’ve ever wanted a power metal song about basketball great Irvin Johnson, this one is for you.
1:39: How can one person say “serious” so many times while looking completely ridiculous?
1:47: “I’m out of here, nerds!”
1:52: An extra from a Cradle of Filth video accidentally walked on to the wrong set.
1:57: I am super psyched for The Bloodening live-action reboot.
2:06: Dude, you don’t have to literally “tickle the ivories.”
2:13: I’m grateful this video isn’t in 3-D.
2:19: Oh, so that’s what it feels like to have your soul throw up.
2:28: This would be a good time for those of you that usually skip the videos to actually watch.
2:37: Someone over at The Asylum is tripping over themselves trying to make this video into a full-length movie for the SyFy Channel.
2:42: “Then the bugs and the children got married and lived happily ever after. Oh, and Serious Black died. The end.”
2:48: “Welcome To Burger King!”
2:56: I’d make a Harry Potter joke, but we all know that reading is for suckers.
3:03: I guess I could always reference the movies, but I’ve only seen one and I’m pretty sure that was 15 years ago.
3:08: It’s like Hot Topic and Sephora had a baby.
3:16: So he definitely stole that hat from a Mad Hatter cosplayer, right?
3:26: What’s up, Not Christopher Lee?
3:36: If giant CGI marshmallows appear, all will be forgiven.
3:42: The “burning at the stake” scene should have gone with the blazing solo. God, do I have to think of everything?
3:53: The video wouldn’t be complete without someone wearing a cape.
4:04: “Try our new Cheetos Chicken Fries!”
4:14: “Who dares stop our projectile vomit party?!”
4:20: I can see why the Green Lantern movie bombed at the box office.
4:28: So did someone write a letter to this guy saying “Hey, some lady is making kids puke bugs. Come save us?”
4:32: Can’t wait to do the breakdown for the necessary sequel!

Serious Black’s album Magic will be released on August 25th via AFM Records.

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  • Sadistikexekution

    You have a lot of time on your hands.

  • Spear

    That’s at least two top hats too many. Possibly three.