Seinfeld Quotes Are Surprisingly Depressing In The Right Context



Seinfeld is often listed as one of, if not the funniest television comedies of all time. The show about “nothing” had countless memorable moments and a big impact on pop culture. There hasn’t been a new episode in almost 20 years, but every year around Christmas time, people make references to the show’s made-up holiday Festivus.

Like any great show, Seinfeld has tons of great quotes. In the context of the show, they’re incredibly funny. If you put them in another context, say, placed over pictures that would work for depressive suicidal black metal promos, they could become very depressing. Next time you see the show in syndication, turn off the sound and crank up the Nortt or Thy Light and truly make it a show about nothing.











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  • Crab Nicholson

    Holy shit!

  • Joaquin Stick

    I really want to hear a depressive black metal concept album about the downsides of relentless happiness in the world of the Teletubbies.

  • If only Varg could learn something from Seinfeld. (RFI)

    • hieronymus bossk

      “Look to the cookie! I like my cookies cah-rispy” – Jerry

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      *Must.Resist.Soup Nazi Joke. Fruit hanging too low*

  • These are truly the depths of darkness

  • i could never wear corpsepaint, despite my hair being black, because it is also curly.

    just doesnt work

    • “Not everyone is cut out to be a business man. For example, curly-haired men or people who need glasses.”

    • That doesn’t stop the drummer from Tsjuder.

      • (thats me, shhhh)

      • Crab Nicholson

        Isn’t there a video of him drumming with brown leather loafers on?

    • Waynecro

      When I was a drunken teenager, someone told me I couldn’t wear corpsepaint because I had Blink 182 hair. My shame was great.

      • lolll

        • Waynecro

          In the end, I wore the corpsepaint. I like to think I pulled it off, despite my short, spiky hair.

  • Dubs

    She doesn’t know about shrinkage? (RFI)

  • Man, this is cool and mystifying at the same time in a terryfing nihilismxDD way.

    Great job, Zombie. I will share some of this when I have the chance!

    • Dubs

      Link is the hero this Toilet needs, spending his few hours of electricity each day to share dank memes for the blog.

      • Please, don’t remind me today of my non-DSBM related misery, please.

        We haven’t slept well since yesterday with the constant blinks with the electricity and the fear of having my A.C. and fridge being damaged 🙁

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          I read something that they pushed the clocks ahead 30 minutes because of the electricity there. Even after the article tried to explain it, it made no sense.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            So in addition to no electricity, you’ve now lost half an hour. Brilliant.

          • Venezuelan goverments hasn’t been displaying signs of brilliance since a huge while ago!

          • Pennsylvania>>>>>>>>>>Venazuela

            -Lonk, from Pennsylvania

          • Haha

          • Salmon of Knowledge

            Play button placement is strong in this one.

          • Chávez pushed the clock ahead 30 minutes in 2008 because “the kids weren’t resting good” or something like that.

            Now, they want to put the original Venezuelan +4:00 Greenwhich time pre-Chávez because the drought caused by El Niño.

            The thing is, this night, we had the first rains of the year in Maracaibo and 42 electric stations suffered short circuits. There’s places with hours without electricity because of that. Also, the goverment, last week, declared an electric rationing program with 4 hours of programmed blackouts all days that will rotate in different hours. But, today the Goverment had to get back of the night hours (12:00am-4:00am/4:00-8:00am) because the rains.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Weird! Sounds like how North Korea does with it’s electricity (shuts it off except for government buildings at different hours).

          • Yeah, more and more I’m realizing how fucked up we are.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Hopefully you’ll be out of there one day!

          • A.P.

            I didn’t realize things were this severe for you, man. I’m going to have to start reading translated versions of your local news to get a better perspective.

          • Thanks for wanting to known a little bit more of our current times, duder (or dudetter).

            I try to be much more “hopeful” in this situation, because sometimes people could think that I whine or want to get mercy based on my Venezuelan situations. So, I truly want to avoid it, it’s just that sometimes I need to release some anger from my (half-elf) body.

            I’m writing an article based on current Venezuela, hope you have the opportunity to check it out if it goes live on our blog.

            -Link, from Venezuela

          • A.P.

            I’m definitely a duder and hope that you will have an opportunity to discuss the difficulties you face with us at length. I’m sure it will be well-received and be a cause for sound and introspective discourse here, and I know I’ll have the opportunity to see it as I read this blog religiously and have since its creation, which is one of the reasons it hit me the way that if did to hear about the trouble- I’ve had a lot of time to read your articles (which are always great and very well written) and see the way that you interact here and on social media to a certain extent- more than enough to humanize you and feel sincere empathy. I don’t think anyone sees you as whining when you mention that kind of stuff or blames you for needing to talk about it, but I understand why you feel the way that you do. Stay safe, man.

          • Man, thanks to you for your kind words. You have my gratitudes.

            Hail to thee! I raise my potions tonight for you!

  • Waynecro

    This would make a great coffee-table book.

  • hieronymus bossk
  • thexenosapien

    Haven’t posted in a while but fuck a bitch is this good stuff, checks it:

  • CyberneticOrganism

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
  • PostBlackenedWhaleGaze
  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
  • Keanu

    When I see the second last meme, I’m more inclined to think the classic Kramer “Look away…I’m hideous” line would’ve fit just as well. What an eyesore.

    • Welcome to the Toilet!


      • Keanu

        Being on MetalSucks/Injection a lot, I can’t tell if this is sincere or sarcasm, but thanks. So far I’ve seen talk of hockey jerseys and Seinfeld, so I’m down with that! Hopefully, I’ll discover some great bands I wouldn’t anywhere else as well…cheers!

        • Not sarcasm at all, friend. Just being welcoming. And again, welcome!


  • Forgive my boneheaded-ness…but all I can say here is…THIS FUCKING RULES! m/