Your eyes are not deceiving you. This isn’t a hilarious auto-correct mishap or some Freudian slip. The song for this music video is indeed “Cherry Boobs”. The song is by Italian band Rockstar Frame. I don’t set out to do Video Breakdowns on dorky Italian bands; they just somehow find their way to me. The best way to describe this band’s sound is a mixture of cock rock and butt rock, but since they are a female-fronted band doing a song about female anatomy, I suppose “boob rock” is the most appropriate genre title.
The song is about female body positivity and empowerment. While that is highly commendable and an important subject to discuss, a music video may not have been the best way to spread this message. Especially when English isn’t your first language and certain things don’t translate well. Pull up a bowl of fruit and let’s dig into this video.
0:02: The related videos are um something else.
0:07: Hard-working college students unite!
0:09: Holy shit, that synth is straight out of any John Hughes movie.
0:14: And that unnecessarily blazing solo is also out of the 80’s.
0:20: Yeah, I’m sure that’s the first thing women do when they wake up.
0:23: I guess it must be leopard-print bra day.
0:28: Sexual for Buffalo Bills coach Rex Ryan!
0:33: Good aim. Scary good aim.
0:38: Look out! They’re heading right for us!
0:39: Careful. You might deflate them.
0:46: The boobs’-eye view camera really isn’t used enough.
0:50: Are we sure this song shouldn’t have been called “Banana Legs” or something?
0:54: Or maybe Strawberry Lips?
0:58: She’s never going to get her deposit back now.
1:03: There’s enough cleavage in this video to make an Andy Sidaris film.
1:06: You’re putting that on backwards.
1:11: That jacket has more fringes than the Ultimate Warrior.
1:15: Oof, that jazzy piano.
1:18: Rockstar Frame really missed out on getting a PornHub sponsorship.
1:23: I know this video is focused on boobage, but we’re just not going to address what’s going on with this guy?
1:25: Well now we’re just being gratuitous.
1:28: I’d like a shot of your finest boobs…I mean booze.
1:33: Missed opportunity for a chest bump.
1:38: Sooooo are all bars in Italy like this because I will get a passport right now.
1:46: Cherry Bubs?
2:00: Seriously, why does that guy have that shit on his face?
2:04: What’s his origin and backstory?
2:07: Does he know it’s there?
2:13: Does the rest of the band think it’s funny and refuse to tell him?
2:20: This video would make Larry Flynt jump for joy.
2:28: Noodle arms.
2:38: Well that’s a positive message… although it does leave out all the non “pretty chicks.”
2:41: She actually says “Raise your fucking shirts and show who you really are!”
2:50: Yes…yes we will really appreciate it.
2:59: If she says something about “rhubarb dick” I’m convinced this song is really just a pie recipe.
3:08: I assure you, plenty of people are looking at you.
3:15: The cadence of this song would actually work well as a jingle for a supermarket.
3:19: “Come on down to Dave’s for great deals!”
3:20: “We’ve got fresh produce and prepared meals!”
3:27: Cherry bones?
3:33: I wish the band was called Cherry Boobs And The Fruit Salads.
3:40: “Well fuck this shit.”
3:45: Feckin Dalishoos?
3:50: Now is a good time to mention that the singer is named Faith Blurry, the guitarist is Morris Steel, and the keyboardist is named Ace Wave.
3:56: We may have in fact just watched the “safe for work” beginning of a porno.
Rockstar Frame’s album Rock ‘N’ Roll Mafia is out now via Musicarchy Media.