Riff ov the Week: The Toileteer Edition II // 1-23-16

smoking cigarette rock leather boy playing guitar outdoor on silver wall backgorund

Rock leather boy.

After the toilet-pal-recommendation edition of ROTW went over so well last week (where our main man Stanley took the win, by the way), we decided to do it again. Scroll on down for your second helping of fresh toilet-discovered riffs.

Next week, the riffing shall be of a special variety, recommended by none other than last weeks winner Stan the Man. We will only be accepting riffs from female-fronted bands. Send your riff to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your name, a link to the riff, the time of the riff, and an explanation.

If you have an idea for a theme, let me know yo.

With that, I leave you with riffs.

 

Masterlord

This is turning into a Stanley-centric Riff ov the Week, but it’s the right thing to do. He recently turned me on to this song on the TovH Facebook group, and for so doing I have pledged my life to him. Masterlord Servantsquire implores you from the depths of his soul — listen to the friggin’ riff at around 1:50. No reinvention here, but sometimes simplicity is unarguably effective. We’ve been using the hammer since we were neanderthals. Guess what? That shit still works.

 

Ellipsis 

Melechesh found their way to my ear holes via a Jack Bauer submission for an album opener Riff ov the Week and a recommendation by Lacertilian to check out their “great fucking album” Emissaries. It turns out Melechesh has a knack for excellent openers, as Rebirth of the Nemesis bursts out of the gates @0:02 with their pummeling, self-described, Mesopotamian Metal…

 

Coal Roll

Heard about these mystery void dwellers from one of our friends in the FB group shortly before the new year. I have been listening non stop since then, and I predict that this album will be on a lot of 2016 Top 10 lists. Because it’s an album of several parts of what is more or less all the same song, and riff, I am nominating the entire album [Boooooooo you fucking loser. –Masterlord]. For the meat and taters of what this is all about… skip to 20:40.

 

Waynecro

I had my riff for this week all picked out and ready to submit, but then Stanley posted this song in the comments section of the most recent “This Toilet Tuesday.” The riff that kicks in at about 0:14 is so awesome that I had to change my submission. I’m a total sucker for the use of these kinds of harmonies and melodies in black metal, so this song appealed to me immediately. Really, this entire song is one great riff after another (2:04!!!). Hats off to the Toilet ov Hell and Stanley for exposing me to yet another band I wish I had heard of much sooner.

 

KJU

IIRC, I think it was Tyree that got me into this black metal/war metal assault. Definitely one of the top black metal releases of 2015. Riffs start from the get go.

 

Boss the Ross

DOOOOOOOOOOOOM as brought to you by…. Sir Tapir.  Yes, it’s true, Mr. The Based. And it jams heavy, from the feedback intro to the slow fade out. Slug Lord delivers a heavy riff to start Triumphant Drunk just right. Not much else to say about it. Tune in. Drop out. Bask in the heaviness.

 

Stanley

Another Tyree recommendation from the most excellent Pure Fucking Armageddon column. I’ve had this album sitting in my Bandcamp wish list for a long time (patiently waiting for Drakkar to pull their finger out and get this released on vinyl), when along comes a guardian angel of the common or garden toilet dwelling variety, and hooks me up. Needless to say, I’ve been playing this record all week. The opening riff to Devotion For The Devil starts off in fine head bobbing fashion but with the addition of the jangling tremolo riff, Aegrus’ enthusiasm for the Dark Lord is plain to see. Listen from the start but the riff up for vote is at 0:22. Thanks RJA!

 

Gurp

Papa Joe and a couple of others mentioned these guys a couple of times during the end of our first year as a blog, and I finally checked them out at some point this year. Crushing, belligerent hardcore with an eye for the occasional atmospheric. Build up to the riff begins at 1:38. You know the one.

 

Gorak

W. BROUGHT BATUSHKA UP A COUPLE TIMES LAST MONTH! RIFF START AT 0:40

 

Lacertilian

Thanks to everybody’s friend, the irreplaceable Toilet detective Jimmy for this one. Too many riffs to choose so maybe just the first one.

___________________________

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 29-01-2016 23:59:59
Poll Results:
Yo

Written by:

Published on: January 23, 2016

Filled Under: Uncategorized

Views: 1624

  • COAL ROLL

    GORAK RIFF SMASH!!

    • ME GORAK B.C.™

      COAL ROLL HAVE GREAT RIFF TASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Dubs

      If I could have voted for both of you, I would have.

  • Sir Tapir The Based

    I’mma voting for Batushka

  • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

    I vote Lassy/Jimmy. That black fast was p damn good and something i heard because terlet.

    Also, its still snowing. I definitely need beer. I guess im walken

  • Bossicus thee Rossicus

    That Barbaian track kills! I preordered the vinyl a few days ago.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      Trying to justify buying a halfstack to yourself <<<<<<<<

      • Bossicus thee Rossicus

        Yeah, I’ve had to talk my self out of a halfstack many times.

        • Dave Vincent’s Perm

          ‘The cab is probably shit’
          ‘It might be fake’
          ‘I don’t need it’
          ‘I’ll never be as good as Bob Vigna no matter how much money I spend to get the amp he uses’
          *sobs*

    • Stanley

      I’ve gotten as far as playing the Barbarian song 3 times. I’m sure I’ll make it to the other riffs eventually.

      • tigeraid

        This.

  • Batushka master race

  • ME GORAK B.C.™

    SMOKING CIGARETTE ROCK LEATHER BOY PLAYING GUITAR OUTDOOR ON SILVER WALL BACKGROUND LOOK LIKE MCNULTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

    Gorak’s submission almost got me, but then Black Fast popped up.

    • ME GORAK B.C.™

      BLACK FAST PRETTY BADASS!!!!!!!!

  • Devotion For The Devil is great. Good riff choice too.

    New album this year supposedly from Aegrus.

    • Stanley

      The vocals on this album kill. Definitely one of my favorite BM vocalists. And it’s the drummer!

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Here’s my Riff Ov The Week: I know I’m going to get flak for this but this song by everyone’s least favorite singer is very good. The album has grown on me quite a bit and I bought tickets for their show. I know Tate can’t sing anymore and is a douchenozzle but I’ve separated my hatred for his douchebaggery and his new album which is better than it has any right to be. I know he doesn’t perform much of it live but I know I’ll still enjoy his performance of Mindcrime.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX7lRZmt8Hw

    • You must be extremely easy to please. I envy you that.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I am.

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        Saying that JJD is extremely easy to please is like saying Stalin and Hitler weren’t very nice guys.

        • Or saying Ted Bundy had peculiar taste in cuisine.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Or saying that Lolo Ferrari had huge tits.

          • Those aren’t boobs, they’re life preservers!

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Or saying that Morrissey looks like a bit of a prick.

          • Sir Tapir The Based
          • One of the most punchable faces ever, fucking racist asshole.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Didn’t know he was a racist, I thought most of his douchebaggery was from being a vegan.

          • He’s referred to Chinese people as “sub human”.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Oh that rascal!

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            And him wishing that meat eaters get colon cancer on his new CD. Ironically, fate kicked him in the balls and gave him cancer instead.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I hate the Smiths and I hate Morrissey.

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            I’m the opposite. I love The Smiths, and liked ‘Your Arsenal’. Outside of that, though, Morrissey’s been pumping out muzak and running his mouth. He’ll talk all outrageous and hard, then put out yet another album of flaccid, watered down soft rock with nothing more than witty titles.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Did you know Cutting Crew released an album last year called Add To Favorites? I didn’t know they were still around.

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            FLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH!

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            You don’t like Cutting Crew? What next, are you going to say you hate Black Oak Arkansas?

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            I can’t stand Cutting Poo, and never heard of Black Oak Arkansas.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Black Oak Arkansas sang Jim Dandy and David Lee Roth stole his stage antics from their singer.

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            Might check it out later. Listening to Crocodile Shop, which took me forever to find again.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZjTzYVQFd8

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm
          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero
          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Or saying KJM likes doom.

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            Or saying that Casey Anthony’s not very good with kids.

    • gah

    • Stanley

      Which Toileteer recommended this to you?

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        JJD recommended it to him.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I recommended it to myself.

        • Stanley

          That’s certainly the best way to ensure that you get recommendations that you like.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            It is.

        • Face to the power of PALM.

        • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

          LMAO, there’s never been a more appropriate time for this song, Mr. Gonna Upvote Myself!

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jkq0MQa18c

    • tigeraid

      I wanted to like this shit, so much…. But…. no.

    • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

      The new album wasn’t great, but wasn’t awful either. Just very forgettable and lacking any kind of ‘oomph’ or ‘zazz’. And that album cover couldn’t get any more lolbuttz outside of a closeup of Tate’s vest and nipples.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I enjoyed it.

        • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

          Admit it, you were just waiting up for Geoff’s horny porny sax lines!

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            KJU plz! It’s better than his other current works!

  • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

    I made it to the store and about a third of the way back when a black dude in a suburban gave me a lift back up the hill

    Asheville >>>>>>>>

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      Solid.

      • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

        He said, “the towers aint gotta come down for us to be nice to each other”

    • ME GORAK B.C.™
    • more beer

      Is it really that bad there? CNN has made it sound like the end of the world. In 94 or 95 we got a storm like this every day in New York. Other than closing the schools. Life went on like normal. In Colorado people drive into storms like this all the time. So they can get to the ski resorts. I’m sure you have gotten a good amount of snow. But the way the news outlets have made it sound. Martial law is only a few hours away.

      • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

        I mean, our area doesnt get snow like this. We’re on the east and south side of the mountain. The northern and western parts are a little morr accustomed to this much in one dump.

        Needless to say, asheville isnt equipped for a foot and a half of snow in one storm

        • more beer

          Not being able to remove it due to lack of equipment. Is much a much different issue than what the media is saying. I saw one guy tell a reporter him and his family were going to play in the snow and act like kids. The reporter told them you better be careful. Like they were taking part in some sort of life threatening activity. The best thing you can do is stay home and get fucked up.

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            Yeah. I mean snow isnt unheard of this part of the mountain, but this is p extreme for one storm

            Further up he mountain, where i went to school (where xan goes), it averages about 3 ft or more a year. Still not what you get but they are more prepared than aheville is

            Needless to say, im inside drinkin beer and smoking, got Pale Chalice on atm

          • more beer

            You know else, it’s an El Nino winter. I haven’t even heard the media mention that. Which brings moisture and bigger storms when it occurs. So actually this is normal. For this type of winter. Certainly d’t go out if you don’t have to.

          • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

            Nah, i already braved about two miles of walking in it for beer

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            At the moment there is no snow on my lawn. There is snow in Fishkill though but not much

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            I’m afraid to even know what a place named Fishkill is like. I’m imagining it’s like a combination of Deliverance, Gummo and something out of a King 810 song.

          • Zeke

            Fishkill is ghetto

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            I can imagine.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            How do you know?

          • Zeke

            I live in westchester. I know fishkill

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I didn’t know you lived in NY! They’re opening a Hardee’s near my house which is in front of the gym I go to.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Fishkill is where the Wal Mart I go to is.

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            Gah, I’d imagine that’s a gene pool in desperate need of chlorine.

      • tigeraid

        I believe New York City literally just enabled a curfew for all roads in the city. So it’s kinda martial law.

        This snow, and more, is absolutely normal where I am, but we have a gigantic, American-Army-level fleet of snow removal machines. It’s not so much having the equipment though, it’s that there’s a billion cars stranded on the road in the WAY of that equipment. Hence NYC telling everyone they’ll be arrested if found on a road. They need room to clean the shit up first.

        • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

          Lol, I think Newport News has maybe 5 snow plows tops. Once it snows, it’s gonna be there for a few days outside of the main roads.

          • more beer

            It’s like that everywhere.

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            Not so much back home. Not all the side streets get cleaned, of course, but the majority of them do. There’s only 3 major streets here technically (Mercury is mostly in Hampton, but technically it counts). I just got back home from walking to Walgreens and it’s pretty shitty up around my area.

        • more beer

          It’s normal where I am as well as In New York. They never used to cose down all of the roads for snow. Cleaned up or not. But new mayor SJW Diblahblahblah only wants to legislate safety. Even though there is no way to save people from themselves. I just find it absurd, that things that were taken for granted in the past are now major problems. Like snow in the winter.

      • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

        “OBummer’s coming to take away your snow blowers and space heaters! Time to get more guns!” -Fox News/Breitbart/Infowars/Stormfront/etc.

        • more beer

          No that would take him away from his next round of golf with the Saudis.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I was born in 1995! My parents almost got killed driving home from Danbury during a blizzard that year but they lived.

    • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

      It’s pretty bad over here too, but not quite the The Day After Tomorrow scenario the news is trying to make it out to be. Especially if you’re from the Midwest, then this is even more laughable. Still sticking my ass inside though and catching up on some shows and movies.

  • Voted for Gurp cos he picked Occultation, from my favorite album of 2014.

  • Voted …

    [Let’s see if this confuses the shit out of the Lizard again…]

    • Lacertilian

      It was more intrigue than confusion.
      I too voted ….

  • tigeraid

    oooooooooooooo that Barbarian tho. Vote’dd.

  • Eliza

    The choice is so hard this week I don’t think I will vote at all.

    • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

      That’s why you should vote for me, out of pity if nothing else. 😉

      • more beer

        ~~

      • Eliza

        What was your pick?

        • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

          Masterlord ALMOST, ALMOST had my vote, but I’m a sucker Melechesh. So Ellipsis got my vote.

          • Eliza

            Yeah, I love Melechesh too. I’ll vote for Ellipsis too, if I’ll eventually choose to do it.

  • 365ChaosRiddenDays

    That album by Aegrus rules hard as other Finnish fiends, speaking about a great opener, this song is excellent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpj5-4lrZ3o

  • JWEG

    So hard. So hard. It’s practically pointing straight up.

    Slug Lord / Boss via Tapir gets my vote, though, because #DOOOM.

    Side note: @bosstheross:disqus your bandcamp page marked the first time so far I’ve found something wishlisted that I actually own, which feels extra special – a gift for which I can actually vouch, and not just from other sources.

    And timely: Black Wizard’s New Waste (Listenable Records) is out next week.

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      I received it this morning! Thank you so much! I can’t wait to jam some heavy shit.

  • Waynecro

    This choice is far too difficult for a Saturday afternoon. In the end, it came down to Batushka and Black Fast.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I picked the riff Ross picked.

      • Waynecro

        As much as I like Batushka, I had to go with Black Fast. I listen to that band in the gym a lot, and it always gets me fired up.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I haven’t listened to them much.

          • Waynecro

            Next time you need some motivational jams for a workout, give Black Fast a shot.

        • Sir Tapir The Based

          You suck.

      • Bossicus thee Rossicus

        Pretty solid doom.

        • Waynecro

          Speaking of doom, have you checked out the new Agoraphobic Nosebleed yet?

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            I have not, might have to give it a listen though.

          • Waynecro

            I have a hard time getting into Kat’s vocals, and I don’t really like much doom, but it’s a pretty great album. The riffs and groove are working for me.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Cool man, thanks.

          • Waynecro

            Especially the song “Not a Daughter.” When Kat’s screaming, “Stop burning me. Why are you doing this to me?” Goddamn.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Unfortunately i can’t listen at the moment, but i found it on bandcamp and put it in the list. Vinyl has a decent price, so if its good, it’s on.

          • Waynecro

            I’m surprised that I like it as much as I do. I prefer ANB’s grind stuff with J. Randall singing, but I’m really digging Arc as something completely different.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            So how doomy is it? It threw me off when you said so, as i thought they were strictly grind. But this doom mention has piqued my interest.

          • Waynecro

            Apparently, the band is going to do several EPs, each of which will feature a style of music beloved by a member of the band. Arc is a doomy EP on which the shortest song is 7:00. It’s pretty doomy and sludgy–especially coming from a grind band.

          • more beer

            All of these records are going to be good.

          • Waynecro

            I was skeptical at first, but listening to Arc is making me come around.

          • more beer

            I went into it knowing what wasn’t. I liked it. I am going to do the same with the next three. I will probably like those too.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            That is an amazing idea. I will be looking forward to each of those. I like it when bands branch out and do different things like that.

          • Waynecro

            I’m looking forward to hearing what they do next.

          • Count_Breznak

            It’s an average sludge song. Not bad, not outstanding. Not for me.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            How much do you like sludge/doom though?

          • Count_Breznak

            I guess I was just expecting something more interesting. Cephalic Carnage did a damn good job with Halls of Amenti.

          • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

            Kat Williams sings for ANB now?!

          • Waynecro

            Now there’s a performance I’d pay five bucks to see.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            “My name is a pimp called Gryndcore”

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            Especially when he snaps off! Which is pretty much every other show he’s done for the last couple of years. Once I read that he’s from Cincinnati, that made a lot more sense.

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        A vote for Ross is a vote for Tapir and a vote for Tapir is a vote for Lucifer.

        • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

          You didn’t even vote for me last week, and was a slam dunk for you!

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I am not JJD I don’t vote for myself.

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            Nooooooooooo, silly, I mean voting for me last week when I submitted the Mana Mana riff.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            BUT IT WAS MY RECOMMENDATION
            IT WAS MY WILL WORKING THROUGH YOUR BODY
            NOT VOTING FOR MYSELF

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            Did you just break your Caps Key, or were you having a stroke when you wrote that?
            Listening to some more of CMX, and pretty fucking good!

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            CMX is one of me favourite bands. Talvikuningas is one of their most proggy albums and my favourite.

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            I went through a playlist, but gonna check out that CD in a second. How would I say Talvikuningas?

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Also, A Ha reunited apparently. How did I miss this and their new album Cast In Steel?

    • Lacertilian
    • Steampoop The Nose Hair Hero

      I love A Ha! I wanted to see them on their final tour, but had to work. Definitely one of the all time greats of synthpop, and way ahead of their time on the later stuff.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        They released a new album last year called Cast In Steel.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan
  • Óðinn

    ~~~

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    Damn. Must have submitted mine too late

  • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

    In other news, a morning show chef got busted chopping up a line of coke on live TV.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2wwESwMU_I

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      That’s a good way to get fired.

      • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

        Gordan Ramsay recently fired the chick who won Hell’s Kitchen for almost that same reason (testing positive for cocaine and various other drugs). I’ve had more than enough time in the back kitchen, though, and can safely say that a good chunk of chefs and kitchen staff are either hard partiers or full blown addicts/alcoholics. Not all, but a good percentage.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I’ve heard that as well.

        • Óðinn

          Totally. The bar is always just a few feet from the kitchen.

          • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

            The bars, actually. Oftentimes one up from and quite a few just a few feet up the street.

  • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

    In the NYC area and want to tell your Valentine how special they are? Well, you’re just in luck, because the Bronx Zoo is allowing people to name Madagascar hissing cockroaches after their Valentine.

    http://bronxzoo.com/roach

    • LVL 10 BLACKBEARD

      I got a couple of exes you could name a cockroach after

      • Steamy Squirt Of Tongue Farts

        I’d name one of them after my one ex, but then again she went past roach territory and straight into bedbug territory.