Riff ov the Week: The Toileteer Edition // 1-16-15

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Cool guy with hat playing guitar

This week I asked that you all submit riffs from bands that you learned of via the blog or fellow toileteer’s recommendations.

Last week, Gorak took the polls by storm with fruit than hung so low it’s just downright shameful.

This theme was way fun, SO LET’S DO IT AGAIN NEXT WEEK. Send your toileteer-recommended riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your name, a link to the riff, the time of the riff, and an explanation.

 

Masterlord

It’s been over a year since Tyree brought Sacrocurse to our attention here, and I still find myself thinking, I really need to listen to that riff from “Ripping Death Solution” after an especially shitty day. Kick it off at the beginning, then windmill and murder accordingly.

 

Maik Beninton

I saw this in many last.fm collages before I finally checked for myself, Paradise Day is my favorite track with its chorus riff being heavy and catchy, makes me wanna start a mosh pit in my room but there is no space for it.

 

Esusmoose

Was posted months ago in the Facebook group but no idea what the Disqus name is so let’s call them Ham. Great hook, great lead sound and kinda gives you the feeling of walking through the woods on a sunny day as birds fly. Thanks Ham, great album so check it out, riff starts around 0:43.

 

Brock Samson

Back in February of 2015, Tyree created a Getting Laid at Bandcamp post that introduced some truly badass bands that I had not heard of before. One of those bands was Odraza and I am grateful to that bastard because they absolutely kill it. They play a blend of black, grind, and even some prog elements with a punk attitude. Start at 18:26 to hear the ending riff of the third track.

 

Eliza

I’d like to thank KJM for introducing me to this amazing album and band. The intro to this song is great, as is the riff that starts at 00:44.

 

Richter

Gravecode Nebula (awesome name) was suggested to me by the highly suggestive Tyree. The album is a soup of murky, miserable, voidgazing riffs that sound like they would rather die than be heard. Things hit rock bottom around 9:20.

 

Defenestrator

Just try to keep still once this riff interrupts the trance, much less abstain from stomping through your floor. One of the best slow riffs in black metal history, and one of the only slow moments on this entire album. Early Gorgoroth is reincarnated in the saunas of Finland.

 

Vegglampe

All in all, slugs are pretty cool, especially when they riff like monsters. 23:32 brings the shock and awe.

 

McNulty

Who’s the most handsome person? Spear of course! On 10.22.15 Handsome Spear introduced us to Demiurgon and along with that a riff that’s p rocket if you ask me. Stab play on Demiurgon’s “Pillars of an Inverted Creation” to hear some fierce, dueling speed metal riffs. The riff grabs you by the hand around 0:20…

 

Ted Nü-Djent

So many bands to choose from in the past year but the recommendation that has had the most impact on me is easily Sólstafir’s Otta, which came courtesy of Matt Pikes sweaty Left Nipple (actually, this dudes strike rate is amazing when it comes to introducing me to new music). Riff starts at 0.00 and goes until 7.42 but if you’re after something more specific,start at the 5.23 mark. Thanks Mr Pike. You’ve given me another reason to love nipples.

 

Stanley

I have to thank our favorite odd-toed ungulate for introducing me to this band. There’s only one riff in the song and it’s pulverizing. Blast it loud! Oranssi Pazuzu have a new album coming out next month so let us get in the spirit and rejoice.

 

KJU

Tapir actually got me into these guys, oddly enough (since we agree on almost nothing). The music is brooding, melancholy (probably more so because I can’t understand one word of Finnish) and incredibly raw as fuck. Riff starts at 2:20.

 

Waynecro

This was an absurdly difficult decision to make, because the Toilet ov Hell and its awesome Toileteers have introduced me to so many outstanding bands. I ended up choosing the riff that kicks off Sielunvihollinen’s “Oodi” because it hasn’t left my head since the first time I heard it on the Toilet ov Hell. That awesome black-metal groove never fails to get me ultrapumped, and I blast the band’s entire discography on a regular basis. I should note, however, that my second choice was a riff from a song on Eidola’s Degeneraterra, which completely negates any metal cred this Sielunvihollinen submission might have earned me.

 

Lacertilian

Hellenic Black Metal?
Medieval themes?
Mysterious armour-clad swordsman on the cover?
No surprise as to who introduced me to this band.
When Nocternity’s Harps Of The Ancient Temples dropped early last year I realised what had been missing in my life. I suddenly craved more of this majestic and spellbinding music. Turns out upon looking back through their discography and finding 2003’s Onyx, I found quite possibly my favourite Black Metal album of all. Picking a single riff is futile but everytime I hear the hastening section at 4:26 after the ominous introductory riff, I know what I’ll be doing for the next half an hour.

 

Boss the Ross

The first band/release to come to mind when I read this week’s theme was the French band Duckhunters, as recommended by the one and only BLACKBEARD. Their first full-length, Extinction Road, is a riff filled, post-apocalyptic, concept record. Filled with earthquakes, financial distress, war, disasters and cannibalism, this record kills. I have picked Last Broadcast to represent the album. The song starts out with a nice guitar intro followed by a swooping bass line and the drums and vocals follow. The main riff kicks full swing at 0:37 and slows it down at 0:58. After a minute the pace picks up with a jammer and 1:55 totally kills it with its adverse high notes. This continues excellently through the song’s “broadcast”. Main vocals jump back to the forefront with a beefed up low version of it at 3:12. And the main riff comes full circle and takes us home after 3:41 with some sweet psychedelic soloing. Nothing remains but the road..

______________________________________
This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 16-01-2016 09:00:00
end_date 23-01-2016 00:00:00
Poll Results:
Choose ye
  • El Jefe Ross

    I think Tyree wins for “Most Recommendations”

    • more beer

      I second this!

    • judging from my own observations, Tapir might be second!

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I’m in last.

        • I guess that’s expected when you recommend bands that have been around for 400,000 years 😉

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            You like Uriah Heep though.

          • Positively. But my Pops beat you to that recommendation.

      • El Jefe Ross

        Surprisingly enough!

  • ME GORAK, RIFF OV WEEK CHAMP

    YEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
    YEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
    YEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

  • Damn, this may be the most difficult “Riff Ov the Week” thus far.

    • Stanley

      That’s because they are all your picks!

    • more beer

      You win hands down. Even without a submission.

    • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

      Especially since no one can vote.

  • Arhys

    Uh, I can’t vote, it’s saying the poll is closed.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    How is the poll closed already?

    • Eliza

      Mabe it’s a time warp thingy.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Someone did the time warp (again)

        • El Jefe Ross

          Its just a jump the left.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            *Meat Loaf appears*

          • El Jefe Ross

            First time i watched that was with a group of friends in high school. I laughed really really hard during the dinner scene. No one else got it. I got a lot of crazy looks.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I still haven’t seen the whole thing, gotta fix that someday

          • El Jefe Ross

            How can you deal with all of the antici…

            …pation

          • I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve seen that. It has to be seen in a theater with lots of drunk people.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Hahaha!

          • Come see me for your paddlin

    • more beer

      Masterlord fucked up!

      • Óðinn

        ~~~

        • more beer

          FLUSH!

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Masterbowl

  • Eliza

    This week’s edition is great! If only I could vote though.

    • El Jefe Ross

      Good pick this week Eliza. DOOOOOM

      • Eliza

        Your pick is great as well. I listened to Duckhunters before and I love their music. DoOoOm.

        • El Jefe Ross

          Extinction Road is slowly becoming a favorite of 2015 for me. Too bad it’s already 2016.

          • Eliza

            I feel the same way. I have a plan for 2016 to write a short review on every single album that comes out and I listen to so that I won’t miss anything.

          • El Jefe Ross

            That is one hell of an endeavor. Best of luck to you!
            The thing with that album is it came out December last year and i didn’t hear about it until earlier this month.

          • Eliza

            That’s why I think that you should wait until the year is done until you do your favourites list.

          • El Jefe Ross

            As do I. But I’m finding new bands and albums from last year every other day it seems.

          • Eliza

            It happens to me too. What was your favourite from last year, though?

          • El Jefe Ross

            The only answer…

            Clutch – Psychic Warfare

          • more beer

            Yea didn’t see that coming.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Haha, i was surprised she asked. I kinda shoved it down everyone’s throats.

          • more beer

            It is what it is.

          • Eliza

            I just wanted to have a conversation.

          • El Jefe Ross

            I meant no offense, just side conversating with more beer.

          • Eliza

            Lol, I didn’t get offended! I was just saying, you know, to converse.

          • El Jefe Ross
          • Eliza

            XD Oops! I didn’t realise this wasn’t the same as “have a conversation” in English.

          • El Jefe Ross

            It is, I’m just messing with you.

            You speak english very well!

          • Eliza

            Thanks! I try my best.

          • more beer

            Try these on!

          • El Jefe Ross
          • Eliza

            O_O

          • more beer

            Fuck yea. I wear old school Adidas Shell’s. Because they are the only sneakers still actually made of leather.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Right on. I’ve wanted Adidas my whole life because of RUN DMC. Just never got around to it.

          • more beer

            You gotta get the fat laces too!

          • El Jefe Ross

            Or no laces at all.

          • more beer

            Gotta have laces. It sucks to go to kick someone in the head and have your shoe go airborne.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Good point, more beer, good point.

          • more beer

            I have seen that happen before.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Doesn’t surprise me.
            I’ve flung some slip-on Vans off before.

          • more beer

            This is a leading cause of broken toes. Can’t be having that.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Can’t kick people in the head with broken toes!

          • more beer

            Nope. I haven’t had to kick a head in a while. But you never know. People are a idiots, so you always have to be prepared.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Always.

          • more beer

            Have you tried these. If not I highly recommend them.

          • El Jefe Ross

            I’ve seen O’Dell beers around here, but can’t say that i have seen that one. I will keep an eye out.

          • more beer

            It’s a winter seasonal. Behind Left Hand O’dell’s are my go to beers. They don’t brew a bad beer.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Good to know.

          • more beer

            This one is going down rather well considering how many Demonseed IPA’s I drank last night at Black Sky.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Ha!
            I’ve been drinking a lot of stouts recently so a red IPA would definitely give my taste buds a shock.

          • more beer

            I tend to drink a lot of stouts. But while I was out last night they just had the same pumpkin stout they have had for like 4 months now. They are good but I am ready for them to brew some more Brutal Truth Imperial Stout. Which are fucking Incredible.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Stouts a d Porters are my favorite.

            How Brutal is it?

            I’m usually not too big of a fan of pumpkin beers but i had Southern Tier’s Warlock last night and it was awesome.

          • more beer

            Dan Lilker approved of them. As he was drinking them on stage at the last Brutal Truth show. About 12% ABV. So pretty brutal.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Just now seeing this.

            Dan Lilker is all the proof i need.

          • more beer

            Well they were brewed as a tribute to his band.

          • El Jefe Ross

            I got that. But seeing as he actually enjoys them, that’s good to know.

          • more beer

            Yes. I need to bother brewer to brew those again. Since he is a friend I can do that. But he did say they were very tasty. I have to agree.

          • El Jefe Ross

            I’m drinking this right now. It’s a special series by St. Arnold, they brew a different style of beer each year. I bought this January last year and have aged it myself. It’s a Russian Imperial Stout. And its really good. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/360d96506cdf3fc17457b6f0c59540d17e1fddac8aee1d33118588b0fb7b6e08.jpg

          • more beer

            Nice so they do with those like Left Hand does with Fade to Blacks and changes it up every year. I am assuming it is divine.

          • El Jefe Ross

            I’m looking forward to trying more of those.
            Oh my goodness, yes. This beer aged very well. Very smooth yet robust at the same time.

          • more beer

            Fuck yea that is awesome.

          • more beer

            I’ve had those Warlocks before very good.

          • El Jefe Ross

            I was pretty impressed with it.

          • more beer

            Yes it s something I will drink again.

          • El Jefe Ross

            The bottle I had showed a 2014 bottling date, so it had aged a little as well.

          • more beer

            As long as it is in a brown bottle that is okay. Beer in green or clear bottles age badly.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Indeed so. I stay away from anything in a green or clear bottle.

          • more beer

            As do I. But there are many who do ot know this.

          • Waynecro

            Kicking heads while wearing boots >>>>>>>

          • more beer

            Steel toed boots. But hey I wear sneakers too. Sometimes you do’t have the chance to change your shoes.

          • Waynecro

            Very true. When I leave the house, I wear boots in case I need to do some kicking. I run in sneakers and lift in Converse. This is the extent of my shoe collection.

          • more beer

            I have a pair of sneakers for work and one to wear out. A pair of grinders and a pair of Doc Martens and that is it. Do I really need more than that?

          • Waynecro

            Those ninja shoes with two toes are pretty sweet, but I’d hardly call them necessary.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I have these too.

          • Waynecro

            A great shoe to wear when lifting heavy things repeatedly to gain lean mass.

          • Eliza

            If Iron Maiden’s The Book of Souls” hadn’t come out last year too, “Psychic Warfare” would have been my favourite as well.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Very nice. It was pretty killer. Favorite track on BoS?

          • Eliza

            I loved every single one! <—— cop out.

          • El Jefe Ross

            C’mon, you gotta pick one, 2 tops.

          • Eliza

            Fine then. Empire of the Clouds and The Red and the Black.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Nice choices. Red and Black is my favorite, followed by If Eternity Should Fail.

          • *interjects like an obnoxious drunk*
            The Red and The Black!

          • El Jefe Ross

            It seems that we are all in agreement on that one!

          • more beer

            It is so hard to keep up with everything that comes out.

          • Eliza

            If someone could dedicate their whole time listening to what comes out, it wouldn’t be hard. I wish I were that someone.

          • more beer

            As would I. But things like having to work kind of get in the way.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Damn work!

          • more beer

            Yea but gotta keep a roof over my head, food in my stomach and beer in the the fridge.

          • El Jefe Ross

            And music in our ears.

          • more beer

            That goes without saying!

          • more beer

            Speaking of music in our ears. I was hanging out with Lenzig from Cephalic Carnage last night. I asked him about new music from them. He said they have new songs. But as it is their last release for Relapse they are taking their time and are gonna drop some killer shit.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Bone marrow in thy belly

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Work <<<<<<<<

          • El Jefe Ross

            Beer/music>>>>>>>>>

          • more beer

            But food, shelter, music. beer, and weed!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Satan is free!

          • more beer

            Very true. But everything else costs money.

          • CyberneticOrganism
          • more beer

            I approve. Killing everyone is a good start.

  • 365ChaosRiddenDays

    The poll is closed, so, well, Behexen rips hard!

  • Óðinn

    Can’t vote. This poll is closed! Oh well.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCRzWeAtgVI

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Always with the satan

      • Óðinn

        Satan.

        • CyberneticOrganism

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I worship God though.

      • You call it “God”, I worship the sun!!!
        m/

        • EsusMoose

          I worship buffalo wings. They’re all I need.

          • more beer

            Then this is the place you need to go. Best wings on earth.http://www.yelp.com/biz/candlelight-inn-scarsdale

          • oh man that looks gud. a few friends and i stopped by Anchor Bar on the way home from Heavy T.O. a few years ago, and after trying their wings we all collectively said “that’s it?”

          • more beer

            They go from mild to Chernobyl at this place. I have had wings all over the country these are without a doubt the best. Plus the beer is always very cold.

          • so……. better or worse than BWW?

          • more beer

            If they were to go chain. They would put B dubs out of business. One of the things I miss about New York.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            As far as the chains around here, Wild Wing Cafe is preferred to Bdubs

          • i jest. not a big chain guy myself. the best wings around here are just from some hole-in-the-wall bocce bar on The Hill (Italian district of St. Louis)

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            You should have went to Duff’s bro

          • we debated it. and chose poorly.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            When we went to buffalo last year, thats where the girlfriend took me (shes from there). It was p damn good

          • more beer

            All my homies in New York hang out at Duff’s.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Ill bet, it was crazy packed when we went. I think we waited close to an hour to be seated

          • more beer

            I’m not surprised.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            I also got some wings called Death there, i believe

          • more beer

            The next time you go to New York go to that place I recommended. The only problem is it ruins wings everywhere else.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            BRO! *high five, ass slap*

          • EsusMoose

            *Slams natty lite, slams another natty lite* BRUH! *slams a coors lite to mix it up*

        • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

          PRAISE THE SUN

        • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

          I worship Abe Vegoda! Prophets from the Bible? Dead. Jesus? Dead. Abe Vegoda? Still telling death to go fuck itself millions of years later.

          http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/54th+Annual+New+York+Emmy+Awards+kmMFYU-IiEfl.jpg

          • more beer

            A much better god than some make believe guy!

      • Sir Tapir The Based
      • tigeraid

        That’s unfortunate.

        • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

          Lol

      • Óðinn

        So that means you can’t worship Satan too? That’s prejudice, JJD. 😉

    • SATAN.

    • 365ChaosRiddenDays
      • FINALLY FOUND THIS ALBUM!!! Can’t wait to get it in the mail. Original cover artwork and everything.

        • Stanley

          Where did you get it?

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          Oh heck dangit.

          • It’s not vinyl, but I’m just as glad to have it on CD.

        • 365ChaosRiddenDays

          Thanks for the link Tyree!

          • No problem! I was shocked to be able to find it in the U.S. out of all the places.

          • 365ChaosRiddenDays

            Mate, look who’s coming this February 26 through Iron Bonhead Records and there’s a tracklist too:

            1. Drevicet

            2. Womborous

            3. Graehence

            4. Baptism Nihl

            5. Vortex Pyramid

            6. Batherex

            7. Altars

            8. Cultus

          • Ah yes, I saw the Altarage news last night. Should be a devastating album! Looking forward to it.

            I have a recommendation for you. Check out Bekëth Nexëhmü. I recently got the De Svarta Riterna demo/full-length and have been playing it non stop since this morning. I just did a review on Ultimate Satan if you want more details.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcyi_xFtgGQ

          • 365ChaosRiddenDays

            I’m listening right now, I have became a reader of “Ultimate Satan” just few days ago, I like what I find there and I’ll read the review about this band of course, thanks!

          • Killer, just trying to spread the blackened goods to all the demonic fiends out there.

          • 365ChaosRiddenDays

            I appreciate your dedication, a lot of underground Black Metal bands deserves our attention, like Midnight Callings, I’m listenting to them in these few last days and It’s good!

          • Oh yeah! Good band.

          • 365ChaosRiddenDays

            I’m almost done to hear to Bekëth Nexëhmü and now I know why you can’t stop to hear them, thanks a lot, fucking sweet, seriously!

          • Zeke

            This is really good. Doesn’t look like it’s on bandcamp and I’m not going to even bother to check if it’s on iTunes or Amazon. I don’t really feel like buying the physical cd.

          • It’s not. It’s only a physical release.

      • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop
        • The world would be a better place if 90% of YT commenters, especially the people commenting on that video, killed themselves via gunshot to the head.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Well, that came out of nowhere……………

          • Just read the comments on that video and all will become clear.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Reading a few of the comments so far, and ohhhhhhhh boy…… Even by YT standards, this is pretty bad. We’re talking the same YT where commenters managed to take a video about how to make mango stuffed dumplings into a debate about bombing the Chinese and various racial slurs.

        • 365ChaosRiddenDays

          I don’t care about ideals, I care about music.

          • yeah but i’ll draw the line at weeb ideals

          • 365ChaosRiddenDays

            I think is not a bad thing, I hate when somebody posts something the he/she likes and discussions about politics, racism, hatred takes the lead making people to forget the initial purpose of the user, sharing some music and talking about his/her tastes!

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Thats racist

          • 365ChaosRiddenDays

            No I’m not!

          • He says that a lot to everyone, I wouldn’t take it too seriously 😉

          • Stanley

            Then you might like this. Riffs for days.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvY2MRKWIrc

          • 365ChaosRiddenDays

            Thanks, I’m drinking a beer and while listening to some good Black Metal, yeah, riff for days, like Hostium, saw this name in a comment written by you here, good music, again!

          • Darker Than Black Records is a very consistent label. Quality sounding black metal with some out of skew ideologies. The programmed drums bother me a bit but on this one but then again so do the drums on the Mjölnir album and that doesn’t stop me from listening.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhx3pOUnZgM

          • Stanley

            This is pretty majestic stuff. The drums are certainly unconventionally fast, kind of opposite to Totale Vernichtung.

          • Indeed. Very majestic album with some really killer riffs. It just got pressed for the first time ever on wax this year. I have the CD of it but the vinyl would be nice to have too.

          • Stanley

            Maybe behold barbarity will get it?

          • They have the CD. Same with Arcane Alter so I’m guessing they will. I emailed the Arcane Alter guy about some other Darker than Black releases and he said he’ll have them in stock within 2 weeks.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Definitely not my cup of tea music wise, either. To each their own!

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            I couldn’t care less about ideology in music most of the time, but you have to admit that a weeb who opens up a CD with Hitler salutes is hilariously lolbuttz.

          • 365ChaosRiddenDays

            Like this?

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop
          • 365ChaosRiddenDays

            Sir, Your argument is valid!

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            *takes a bow, as silverware falls out of my pants Marx Bros. style*

          • 365ChaosRiddenDays
          • Óðinn
          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            GAH!!!!! That’s about as bad as Turkish ET!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0U-M9W4nKw

          • tigeraid

            aaaaayy lmao

          • 365ChaosRiddenDays

            A forward-looking moment of a man with mustache.

  • COAL ROLL

    Tyree: toilet tastemaker

  • Óðinn

    ~~~

    • El Jefe Ross

      Oh Hell Yes!

  • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

    Is it cheating if I submit something from an article? I’m pretty sure I’ve only been suggested one thing ever by one of you guys, some time ago in the 2 days that I tried using Facebook, then promptly fled and never came back. (I’m also pretty sure I’ve made myself the biggest dick ever in that conversation, sorry Guaccy <3<3<3)

    • Lacertilian

      I don’t think that’s cheating at all, I actually think that was kinda the point here.

  • EsusMoose

    We’re doing the theme again? Wonderful I had 4 other options I was thinking of.

  • Is EsusMoose talking about our beloved Rum Ham?

    • EsusMoose

      No, honestly I can’t remember who was the one who turned me onto it so I decided Ham was a title I gave said person. I also couldn’t remember any of the disqus names and wasn’t gonna say their names. It also could have came from an EOTY list, so the mystery deepens.

      • Lacertilian

        I’d say it was Pagliacci, he sent me a link to it around release. Doubt he’ll see this as he hasn’t posted on the blog for a while.

        • is he Fharc on FB?

        • EsusMoose

          Ah, and cross referencing yeah twas him. I just ordered the album finally so I don’t know when that’ll show up

          • Lacertilian

            Goes well on a playlist with Obsequiae

          • EsusMoose

            I wasn’t a huge fan of Obsequiae when I listened to it last month, I’m gonna resume listening to albums from 2015 eoty lists soon so I may not get around to trying it again. Just wasn’t my thing

          • Lacertilian

            It was on a few 2015 lists from memory, lots of people (including me) just can’t stop harping on about it.

    • EsusMoose

      I now want ham

      • how many times have you not?

        • EsusMoose

          Probably only a few times after ingesting large amounts of ham

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I’m so stupid. I sent a message to a friend apologizing for sonething that apparently never happened. I made myself suffer for no reason.

    • more beer
      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        It had been eating me for a while. At least I don’t have to worry about it anymore.

      • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

        Some good old school Oi!

    • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

      Drunk dial?

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        No, I don’t drink. I don’t know what got into me. At leaat she forgave me.

        • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

          Leaat? I don’t speak Finnish, but if you could translate that for me. 😉

        • more beer

          What is this I don’t drink you speak of?

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I don’t drink alcoholic beverages. That’s because I’m only 20 and I can’t buy them legally. I also can’t use a fake ID because my dad is a lawyer and will be able to tell it’s fake.

          • more beer

            Being under aged has never stopped anyone but you.

          • i only see one issue here: trying to buy the booze from your dad

          • more beer

            Lawyers don’t work in liquor stores he should be good.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            You better star drinking, dude.

          • more beer

            How exactly do you drink a star?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Goddammit

          • more beer

            Hahaha!

          • CyberneticOrganism
          • more beer

            That is too funny.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Well ain’t that ironic

          • Lacertilian

            ..

          • wood drink/10

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Really? You’re 20 and haven’t thought of getting someone who is of age to buy it for you? As long as you’re not getting tossed up in public or end up like the Affluenza kid, I doubt anyone would care. Just ask someone older to get it for you, toss them the cash, and you’re good. I figured that out at 13!

          • more beer

            He is an upstanding citizen. He will not do that.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop
          • more beer

            He doesn’t even need that. Any liquor store in the hood will sell him anything he wants. No questions asked. His area has a lot of hood.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Even better!

          • more beer

            Poughkeepsie is a shithole.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Only thing I know about it is reading about it in Kitchen Confidential (Anthony Bourdain). He wasn’t exactly flattering about the place, and considered it a dead end.

          • more beer

            I used to go to shows at the Chance. I speak from experience.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Lol, as long as they don’t see the no eyes and no hair part, that ID should work just fine!

          • more beer

            Well DMV pictures do suck.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            I have a feeling he probably made that card in shop class.

          • more beer

            Don’t shop classes involve actual tools?

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            The one I attended in high school had silk screening and laminating, which could probably be used for a really shitty fake ID.

          • more beer

            Mine involved cars.

          • more beer

            that’s better.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Your dad will know that it’s fake because he knows when you were born dummy

        • CyberneticOrganism

          What did you apologize for?

  • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

    Poll closed already?

  • El Jefe Ross

    Thanks for the article Link and the recommended starting point KJM! I’m jamming some tasty riffs this morning.
    rfi

    • more beer

      Their earlier stuff is great. Personally I like Animal Magnetism.

      • El Jefe Ross

        For some reason I kinda put Scorpions in the box with a lot of other 80s “metal” and stayed away from them. Within the last year i had been meaning to really get to know their music, especially their early stuff. The article Link wrote and KJM/most everyone else on here giving them praise really got me motivated. I’m really enjoying this record

        • more beer

          Here is a funny story for you. I was on Destruction’s tour bus in June. With Lenzig from Cephalic Carnage. He was playing metal 20 questions with Schmier. He asked the best question ever. Accept or the Scorpions? The answer was Accept. We were talking about this last night. Laughing our asses off. But apparently a lot of the German metal bands don’t have love for the Scorpions like we do in America.

          • El Jefe Ross

            That is really funny. I’m guessing its because of the big hits and all the radio/mtv play scorpions got.
            Personally, I still like Accept more than Scorpions, they’re one of my favorite bands ever. I listened to Russian Roulette before I put Blackout on earlier.

          • more beer

            As do I. Because Accept. I would assume so plus ballads. But Schmier also has a side project with some of the guys from Accept.

          • El Jefe Ross

            That is bad ass.

          • more beer

            Yes it is. I was talking to his girl on metal injection a couple of months ago. We have met in real life. There were a bunch of people telling her, she didn’t know what she was talking about concerning Destruction. What a bunch of dumb asses. She goes on tour with them. I think she knows better than everyone else concerning this band.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Stupid internet people man. The most deserving for a kick to the head.

          • more beer

            Yep. Not to mention she is a super cool lady and one hell of a good tattoo artist.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Damn, that’s awesome.

          • more beer

            This is very fitting song for these types of fuckheads.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZXFZ6nhL14

          • El Jefe Ross

            Fuck yeah.

          • more beer

            Old School NYHC!

  • Dubs

    Okay, I fixed the poll. Sorry dudes, was tutoring this morning and didn’t know there was an issue.

    • more beer

      We blame Masterlord!

      • Dubs

        As you should.

        • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

          It’s all good. We’ll still love Masterloins in the morning/

          • more beer

            Yea if we wake up still drunk!

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Lol, like I did! And having to babysit in the morning, like every Saturday. :-p

          • more beer

            I’m already drinking. No reason to ruin a good drunk.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Trust me, I’d rather have spent my morning drinking and toking. But, had to babysit my roomies’ kids (aka, getting woken up, making breakfast, and making sure they don’t get hurt, etc.). Taking a nap and probably getting to the drinking and smoking later.

          • more beer

            Thankfully I live in a no child zone. We don’t even invite people here with their kids.

        • more beer

          Of course!

  • Vladimir Poutine

    Defenestrator’s was pretty awesome, and I also hate to blaspheme against Oranssi Pazuzu, but I’ve been bingeing on Sielunvihollinen for a week and a half now so I guess that’s it.

  • Sir Tapir The Based

    It’s either Behexen or Oranssi Pazuzu.

    • Stanley

      You done goofed!

    • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

      No voting for Mana Mana? That’s a paddlin’!

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        Tbf it would be too close to voting for myself.

        • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

          And where’s the shame in that? It’s not like you pulled a JJD and voted for yourself.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Still, it’s too close to it.

        • more beer

          Presidents vote for themselves. I have never understood the no voting for yourself thing. Why would someone vote for their opposition?

          • Lacertilian

            Finding new bands/riffs>>>>>>winning a weekly poll.

          • more beer

            I understand the finding new riffs and bands. But in America winning is everything!

          • Lacertilian

            No doubt President Crump will lead the USA to victory on the Human Development Index. (RFI)

          • more beer

            Yep right to this.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Only way his campaign could get any worse is if he picks Tony Abbott as Vice President.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Well I don’t live in America

          • more beer

            But you are on an American metal blog.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            My wife must win, my lawn must win, my wiener must win!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lef9E5TM32Y

          • more beer

            I have seen them too.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Ever heard Lard? It was Ministry’s project with Jello Biafra. Industrial punk I guess is the best way to describe it.

          • more beer

            I actually have not. But I will check it out. As I am a fan of both.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop
          • El Jefe Ross

            I’ve discovered some tasty riffs because of this, it’s very satisfying

          • EsusMoose

            I don’t vote myself so the amount at the end signifies how many people agree with my taste in riff that week. I think in my many attempts I probably have a grand total of less than 2 dozen votes over 8 to 10 attempts but mainly it’s to showcase an artist others may overlook.

          • What Mesusjoose said. If winning were the point I would have stopped submitting weeks ago, or possibly months.

          • more beer

            I totally understand. It is just a rule I never thought made a lot of sense.

          • Losing constantly confirms the pointless nature of all human endeavor as well as one’s own utter lack of significance. Voting for oneself is a really tacky move, is how I feel.

            Then again, if we could actually win something other than illusory self-esteem (beer, for instance), I might think feel and act differently.

          • more beer

            Beer the great motivator. But not being able to vote for yourself is kind of unamerican. Do you think Obama voted for Romney or vice versa?

          • The gentlemanly thing for Obama to do would have been to abstain. But you’re right, the Americanly thing to do would be to vote for himself. Of course, the stakes were higher in that there were actually stakes to speak of. That’s what RotW needs. Stakes.

            No, wait, we need steaks.

            Yes, steaks…

          • El Jefe Ross

            Beer and steaks.

          • more beer

            I didn’t look at your comment util after I posted. But great minds think alike.

          • El Jefe Ross

            Damn straight!

          • more beer

            Mmm Steaks washed down with beer!

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop
          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            ROTW should be done like the old school gladiator games, or something like Lord Of The Flies!

          • El Jefe Ross

            I’ve got the conch.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            Technically, voting for yourself on this one is like voting for the person who reccomended the riff. So, all’s fair (at least until Joe or W. quickly undo your self-vote)!

          • Dubs

            I won’t undo it, I’ll just call you a coward for it.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop

            I saw what happened to JJD after upvoting himself, and not about to incur that kind of wrath! Though tempting………….

          • EsusMoose

            I haven’t submitted one since July, a mix of laziness and nothing I could think of

          • more beer

            That’s cool. But also fuck what other people think. You like what you like.

          • Hammerdong Von Spookypoop
          • EsusMoose

            I also always lose so I have to find solace somewhere

          • El Jefe Ross

            Exactly.

  • EsusMoose

    Dug a lot, but had to go with my favorite song of the year Paradise day so Maik got a vote

  • JWEG

    Technically, the TovH introduced me to Elder, though I forget whether it was in an article or a Disqus comment. And Jimmy McNulty (edit: apparently the direct Disqus link won’t work) just gifted me Lore yesterday (thank-you #MetalBandcampGiftClub)

    I would want to spend a few more days with it before submitting a riff, though, but if someone were to do that on my behalf I’d vote for them next week.

    • np bby, and now i’ll be jamming to some Volahn! <3

    • Lacertilian

      Dagon reviewed it.

      • JWEG

        Thanks. That would have taken a while to backtrack to, but instantly found by Google.

        Such an excellent article.

  • Stanley

    Defenestrate is on of those words that I would always like be able to squeeze into my every day discourse, so here goes. Defenestrator, you have my pick!

  • i’ve seen those boobs next to them cigarettes but never thought to check them out. Odraza gets my vote and and my apology for never checking out prior to this!

    • Dubs

      I Still think they could be man boobs.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      That’s where mine went

  • 365ChaosRiddenDays

    Oh, the poll is open again, like the mouth of hell, let’s celebrate: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viSfLwTegWA

  • Waynecro

    So many awesome submissions this week! It was really hard to choose, but I had to go with Demiurgon. That riff kills, and the album is a genital-crushing brute of a thing.

    • a vote for McNasty! <3

      • Waynecro

        Right back at ya. Now I know what I’m going to play in the gym tonight! So thanks!

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        Is a vote for facism!

    • Yarb, this is one of those RotWs that caused my bandcamp wishlist to … um … engorge.

      /bandcampbonerjoke

      • Waynecro

        This website is like Viagra for Bandcamp wishlists.

        • *like surgical penile-enlargement for Bancamp wishlists

          I believe I have just fixed that for you, good sir.

          [I know everything nothing about surgical penile-enlargement.]

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    They added some more episodes of WCW Monday Nitro to the WWE Network. I’m watching one where the main event is Goldberg/Kevin Nash/Bam Bam Bigelow from before Starrcade 1998.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    In other news Rick Wakeman’s son Adam is not in the band Strawbs anymore. They got Dave Bainbridge of a band called Iona. They’re doing a tour where they perform Hero And Heroine in full. I hope it’s good as that’s a favorite prog album of mine.

  • Lacertilian

    After much deliberation, Moose gets the Lizard vote.
    Interested in hearing more of @James_Jimmy_Mcnulty:disqus’s pick though, the intro reminds me a little of Vogg x Joe Haley, so… awesome!

  • You are a fluke of The Universe.
    You have NO RIGHT to be here.
    And, whether you can hear it or not,
    The Universe is laughing behind your back.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFLvhKv-Lbo

  • Slugdge gets my vote because slugs and riffs, son.