Riff ov the Week: Sensuality

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W.’s never-ending search for things that diddle his fiddle continues in this week’s riff-off. You have to listen, and you have to vote, but what you do with these sensual riffs after that is entirely up to you…

Last week, Howard Dean’s Deathspell Omega (22 votes) barely edged out Vegglampe’s Ghost Bath (20 votes) in the battle of the tremolo riff. Raise your hand, extend it over your shoulder, and pat yourself on the back. That’s a fucking winner’s back, right there.

Next week:

  • By order of Maik Beninton, next week we’ll only be taking riffs from supergroups.
  • Send your supergroup riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your Disqus handle, a link, the time of the riff, and an explanation.
  • If you have an idea for a theme, let me know.

 

Masterlord

This definitely probably maybe wasn’t what W. had in mind when he said “sensual,” but when Conan played this song live a few days ago, the vibrations did things to my body. Starts at the beginning.

 

Joe Thrashnkill

0:22 – it gets none more sensual.

 

W.

I’m certain I don’t have to tell you when the sax riff starts. You lost your pants as soon as you saw the title.

Ginnungagap

I wanted to use a song by Akercocke. When I listen to them I feel like Lucifer is trying to take my pants off and that’s sort of sensual, I guess. When I saw the words ‘sensual’ and ‘seduce’ I remembered this very emotional passage at 14:36, and I knew that I could resist.

 

Zeke

Oooooh, sexyyyyy.

 

Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

This whole song makes me wish I wasn’t such a pathetic dweeb who can’t pull, and makes me want to shag that hot blonde from high school who looked fit in that Batgirl outfit, or some other sexist statement about sex that will never happen to me. To that hypothetical girl, just remember, 2 minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven.

 

Richter

I could have submitted this Bergraven track for the Bass riff – because it’s essentially a bass riff – but it just so happens that it’s sensuous and slithery and sexy as all get out (and a little creepy, just like all good sex, right?…). Riff starts at 0:27. Feel your loins come alive to the groove while this dude whisper-growls at you seductively.

 

Brock Samson

The opening to this song makes me want to strip down slowly in a mid-winter snowfall and make sweet sweet love to a young, firm tree. Don’t judge me.

 

Old Man Doom

Scene: EXT. DESERT, SUNSET. You ride off into the setting sun on horseback with Mikael Akerfeels in the saddle behind you. FADE OUT. Roll credits…

 

Huggy Bear Oh Yeah

0:46. Me, my girlfriend, and a passed-out stranger on the couch across the room. Good times.

 

Poseur Disposeur

Hard to find sensual metal riffs (I expect a lot of Type O), but Clutch always makes me want to bang hard. Starts at 0:00.

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 17-05-2015 09:00:00
Poll Results:
Who tickled your pickle?
  • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

    Agalloch wins. Joe and BDubzya were pretty good though.
    Also, can I just resubmit that Iron Reagan riff that JB submitted 2 weeks ago for next week?

    • Is IR considered a super group? If so, I might have to change my stance on the whole super group thing.

      • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

        Off of their bandcamp: ” Fronted by the venomously lyical Tony Foresta (Municipal Waste), on paper IRON REAGAN is a Richmond, VA supergroup”.

      • more beer

        Even if they aren`t a super group. They are pretty dam good. I`ve seen them three times and they have been great every time.

      • Lacertilian

        Yeah, I wouldn’t consider them that way but what do I know, I’m a damned lizard.

      • The Beargod

        If everybody was known from other connections I suppose it’s Supergroup.

  • Oli Fucking Sykes, Son.

    Dubya wins. Now I’m running from the cops because I was reading this in a library.

    Also, mine is kinda borked, here’s one that actually works. No video tho, so I apologize.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jgghjx2Ghqk

    • The W.

      Weren’t you going for Business Time? This is still The Most Beautiful Girl.

      • Oli Fucking Sykes, Son.

        I changed my mind. Both are excellent anyway.

        • Lacertilian

          Business Time would have been my pick, but you got my vote anyway.
          Also, Foux De Fafa is pretty sensual

    • CyberneticOrganism

      FOTC is (are?) always a good idea.

      https://youtu.be/9Wl_uQOABxg?t=22s

  • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

    MY DICK 12 BRICKS

    • A vote for My Dick is a vote for Dicks everywhere.

      • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

        Every time you vote for My Dick, an angel gets a boner.

    • Dagon

      Are you in the FB group?

      • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

        Group for what?

        • Group for bricks

        • Dagon

          OG Maco dropped a new mixtape. Introspective.

          http://www.complex.com/music/2015/05/og-maco-tax-free-mixtape

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            I think I like his older style better. It was like Captain Beefheart hiphop. Random lyrics and vocal patterns to weird ass beats.

            BITCHU GUESSED IT! GRAAAH GRAAAH

          • Dagon

            I think it’s dope he is showing variety, though. The theme change also means he’s not just a gimmick.

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            I know, but I liked the gimmick. haha

  • Stockhausen

    Joe wins by a dick. I mean, a mile. Excuse me.

  • Dean the P.I. Staker
  • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

    Here’s my sensual riff that I forgot to submit. It goes from 0:25 to 1:00

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsLrnylZheE

    • I was totally going to submit this too!

    • Stanley

      Saxophones make me droopy. I could never copulate to that toon.

  • I sat this one out because I wanted to see what you guys would come up with but next week…….
    http://youtu.be/3gOHvDP_vCs

  • Joe start practicing your victory speech

    • Lacertilian

      He’s always got one on hand which he passes off as impromptu.
      Cheeky bugger

  • Dagon

    The blasty section in Bergraven ruined the sexiness, it’s hard to copulate at such paces underwater. Not to mention Ninkasi was pissed at another sexy time with screamy music.

    I didn’t know the band before. This song was awesome.

    • The W.

      I was almost certain you were going to submit some QOTSA. Maybe Smooth Sailing

    • Well, we’re technically voting for RIFFS, not FULL SONGS, but when does anyone ever follow the rules around here anyway?…

      (Crawls in sock drawer. Sleeps for days.)

  • Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo

    As soon as i saw Conan I voted for Masterlord

    • Conan must always win.

    • Lacertilian

      So you didn’t listen to the other riffs?
      C’mon man.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    (both at once–1st vid muted–2nd vid full vol)
    https://youtu.be/mWpDHc4bZBk

    -https://youtu.be/HMDGO8RjJEg

    • Maik Beninton

      There is some really haunting images on the 1st video.

  • Huggy Bear OH YEAH

    Oh come on, sax is no fair! ._.

  • Maik Beninton

    There is nothing more sexier than Joe’s pick, NOTHING.

  • Vegglampe

    Currently on the toilet at work taking an aggressive dump in honour of Omega who beat me in the final sprint last week. The flush is for you.

  • Dagon

    @The W. This was a top pick, too

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tUHmHaa2Mg

  • Dagon

    Opeth takes my vote. That tone.

  • Where the Deftones riffs at? they practically invented the sensual riff.

  • Zeke

    Hmmm, I’ve never heard Conan before and it sure is sexy. But on the other hand, when ever I think about sexy the first thing to pop into my mind is inevitablely Jemaine. Decisions….

    • Maik Beninton

      So you finally got yourself a Disqus account.

      • Zeke

        Haha, it was nice to have a free minute at work for a change. I think zzzzzzzzzz might be the only regular that isn’t registered now.

  • CT-12

    How the fuck was this song not on here? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHPlZjgfWh4

    • I’ll see your FNM and raise you one how the fuck was THIS not on here?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xD5No_JRrZw

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Jesus yes. This was a college buddy’s first introduction to Type O and it blew his mind.

      • Vladimir Poutine

        This.

    • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

      Heard the new CD yet?

      • CT-12

        I streamed it fully once, but I can never really fully get into an album until I have it myself. Stoked for this coming Tuesday to finally get it!

        • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

          It is damn good!

  • Joe’s song doesn’t show up for me. HOW DO I VOTE IF JOE’S SONG DOEsn’T SHOW UP!!…..!!

    • Lacertilian

      It’s great, trust in the bowl.

  • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)
  • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

    Holy shit. I forgot how awful this thing was and the video is even worse. Just dogshit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XqRQmGoaB4

    • Lacertilian

      I remembered, that’s why I won’t click play.
      Actually bought that fucking album, after hearing one song (The Enemy?) and seeing the rest of the lineup. Bad move.

      • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

        I have it too. I honestly liked a bunch of the songs towards the end of it. The one with Daryl Palumbo singing on it was really good. The Peter Steele dirge at the end was one of my favorite songs for a while. And the ones with Dez and Glen Benton were solid.

        • Lacertilian

          Oh yeah, I forgot about those couple. They seemed good in contrast to the rest of the tripe on there. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79sCIo2xZ1s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCeMUmHEwTI

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            I find it interesting that a lot (or almost all) of the good songs were penned by Joey Jordison. The dude from Machine Head’s were the worst, tied with Heafy’s. Baby Eater’s were hit or miss.

  • JW(E)G

    I totally forgot to submit. This:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0wjoYYpPk0

  • INCREDIBEARD

    Brock gets my vote by default.

    Zeke should be banned from ever submitting again.

    I was gonna go see Unknown Hinson tonight but I’m so exhausted that I dont think I can do it.

    • Zeke

      Pshhhh, heavy grimey Nirvana is heavier and grimier than 90% of the bands we all jock on this site…. and sexier too (just listen to that screeching feedback)!

      • INDUBITABEARD

        Anyone have a spare shotgun?

    • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

      My dad saw him last year, and said it was a good show. Is Squidbillies even still on the air?

      • INDUBITABEARD

        I’m not even sure tbh. Only reason I didn’t go (other than exhaustion) is the number of other shows coming here soon: Earl Sweatshirt; Taake, Wolvhammer, and YAITW.

  • JamesGrimm
  • My vote goes for Masterlord.

    Also, why isn’t this here?

    tsk…….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sMALbhJU6M

  • The W.

    To everyone asking, “Why isn’t this here?”, maybe it’s because you didn’t submit it.

    • Stanley

      I was going to say something similar W, but decided to keep my trap shut. But now that we’re on the subject, I’ve noticed that toilet dwellers have very poor memories.

  • CONAN the Mothertrucking King

    Why isn’t this here?

    Extreme – “More Than Words”

    I used to listen to this back in ’89 after I would smell a girl’s hair at Motley Crue concerts when I was standing behind here. I used to look like Corpsegrinder when I was a bouncer and 8 worked out all the time. Then I would watch the same girl undress through her window while fondling myself with an Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan T-shirt. I was into metal before it was cool.

    So why isn’t Extreme – “More Than Words” here?

    • CONANtheDjentlyFuckingKING

      Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery ? …………………

    • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

      Because that song is a steaming shit stain on an otherwise excellent CD?

  • Max

    Tough! I wanted to vote Flight of the Conchords, but went with Danzig only because you should’ve chosen the one about “sugar lumps.”

    • CONANtheDjentlyFuckingKING

      Just when you thought you’d seen it all. Brian Werner and Jesse fuckin’ Jackson sharing a photo op. I SERIOUSLY wonder if either one knows who the other is. The odd couple indeed ……………

      • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

        SepticFlesh rules! I interviewed them way back when.

        http://www.chaindlk.com/interviews/Septic-FleshChaostar/

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        That is a very odd photo.

      • Max

        Didn’t Jesse Jackson appear in the Cannibal Corpse Centuries of Torment DVD (they ran into him at the airport or something)? Again, I doubt he knew who they were.

  • Lacertilian

    @masterlordsteeldragon:disqus : I don’t know why I expected Conan to be more trad/power metal, that was great but not sensual for me.
    @joethrashnkill:disqus : Of course you went there.
    @disqus_kqxyUNPxty:disqus : I didn’t know this was George Michael but this song is always playing in a depressing fast-food restaurant toilet somewhere, where it belongs. FLUSH
    Ginnungagap: All this sax.
    Oli : Of course, prime contender. I would have chosen a diff FOTC track but this works.
    @disqus_c8C78e0etN:disqus : I’m not feeling seduced as much as sedated.
    @richteryoubastard:disqus : I feel dirty now, but I like that.
    Brocky: Contender.
    Old Man Doom: You have now made this a coin toss for my vote.
    Huggy : Not going to visit your couch.
    Disposer O’ Poseur: Not a bad choice.

  • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

    Can’t forget this timeless romantic classic!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lN0_FD84E4

  • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)
  • Huggy Bear OH YEAH

    what in the fuck .-.