Riff ov the Week: Female-Fronted Edition // 1-30-16

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Awesome Mohawk Man Jumps With Guitar In Studio

Awesome mohawk man.

Welcome. This week we’re jamming some riffs featuring our heavy metal sistren, but first, I guess we gotta talk about what happened last week.

The lizard won again.

That’s what happened.

Bow before your lacertilian lord.

Next week, I don’t want nothin’ fancy. Just send me some riffs. I don’t care what type as long as they rock, son.

Send your riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your name, a link to the riff, the time of the riff, and an explanation. I encourage all you lurkers to submit, too. This is for everyone.

 

Masterlord

I could’ve taken the dartboard approach to picking a Nocturnal riff, but I really wanted one that highlighted the vicious snarl of the mighty Tyrannizer, so I went with “Swarm of Insects”. Kick it off at the beginning and realize that you need to listen to waaaay more Nocturnal.

 

W.

Kat Katz is 300 pounds of hate in what’s maybe a 105-pound bag, so what better way to accentuate that hate than with absurdly heavy doom? This song is overburdened with juicy riffs, but we’re going to with the fast one at about 5:46.

 

CT-12

The first time I listened to Ice Age, I was in love. The exhilarating speed, the quirky and subtly progressive riffing, the precision; everything about them was exactly what I look for in a top-notch thrash act. Sadly, they were plagued with consistently terrible management, personnel issues, and being the odd thrash band out in a burgeoning new death metal scene. These factors combined not only led Ice Age to their demise, but also damn near blotted-out any history of their existence. Thankfully, they recorded some demos in their time together and put them up online for free for anyone to enjoy. In the meantime, crank up your speakers, click the 2:00 mark on the link, and “THRASH IT UP”!

 

Jack Bauer

The riff around 0:44 is a fucking sick riff. And that’s all I really have to say about that.

 

Tigeraid

Many metal fans are hot or cold on Kobra and the Lotus; perhaps it’s Kobra Paige’s traditional opera chops mixed with a bit of a pop sensibility for vocals. I happen to like her work, and the band’s had some really catchy tunes. The main riff for “Soldier” immediately came to mind with this RotW challenge.

 

Ellipsis

Declared The Best Unsigned Band in New Jersey by this very site, Black Table are fronted by vocalist and guitarist Mers Sumida. @1:04 of the title-track off their Sentinel EP, the four piece lay down their brand of Blackened-Post-Metal-Whatever-I-Dig-It in fine style…

 

Richter

Ludicra is not the first band that came to my mind when this week’s theme was announced; they were the second. But they are the first woman-fronted band to come to mind in which the RIFFS are also generated by a woman. Which sucks for me, because their career is so replete with killer riffs that choosing just one is like choosing one of your umpteen children to be spared by genocidal marauders. Hopefully the riff I have chosen will make something of itself one day: spearhead a revolution, assassinate a prominent leader, star in a widely viewed reality television show. Y’know, whichever. Stab the overturned triangle button at 5:30. (Or, for the full effect, stab at 5:17 for the acoustic preamble to the all-out RIFFMAGEDDON.)

 

Lacertilian

The upcoming Lotus Thief release is my single most anticipated release of 2016. Bezaelith’s ethereal riffs and transcendent vocals are otherworldly. When combined with Otrebor’s (Botanist) stellar percussion I am transfixed, every single time. Be ensorcelled at 0:29 (or just hit play at 0:00 and listen to those beautiful harmonics).

 

Vegglampe

0:20 Evil.

 

Brock Samson

Sludgey goodness from this two girl unit. Start at 1:03.

 

Ted Nü-Djent

I shit you not, I was listening to this song when I read the theme for this week. How could I not submit after that? Main riff.

 

KJU

Done by none other than Elisa C. Martin, one of the best female singers out there, and a band so epic it puts Rhapsody to shame: Forget the goofy name, and enjoy!

 

Stanley

I don’t have many albums like this one in my collection. Maybe I need to get out more as Agrimonia’s Rites of Separation has some seriously headbangable riffs. While most of the band members are known from their output with bands such as At The Gates, Miasmal and Martyrdöd, as far as I can tell, this is lead singer Christina’s main focus. And it shows. She is one angry, hate filled young lady, with a lot to gripe about and the means to voice it. The riff starts as 1:27, but it’s at it’s most vehement when the drum tempo changes and Christina’s mean bellow kicks in at 1:43. Bang it!

 

Waynecro

The first minute of this song is a total riff salad. This part of the song changes frequently, shifting between chaotic flurries of high-speed riffing and slow, chugging grooves. Rachel Heyzer’s frenzied vocals are a nice fit for this frenetic pummel fuck of a song.

 

Boss the Ross

Lady Beast is a Pittsburgh based, female fronted, Metal band in the vein of the classic NWOBHM style. Last year saw the release of their second LP, aptly titled Lady Beast II. It’s a ripper of an album with riffs for days, but my personal favorite is on the track “Caged Fury”. We are greeted by a nice sliding intro and a few lines of vocals before the bass starts thumping and at 0:40 THE RIFF kicks in. STAND TALL, BE STRONG! THEY THOUGHT THEY HAD YOU ALL ALONG. BE BRAVE, BREAK THROUGH! THOSE WALLS NO LONGER HOLD YOU!

_______________________
This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 05-02-2016 23:59:59
Poll Results:
Choose.
  • Fudge. Forgot to send mine in. Ah well, here’s the whole album.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyLh44ovFcE

  • Boss the Turbid Ross

    Damn, there are quite a bit of riffs today! And that’s a good thing. I find the lack of Doom disturbing though. I chose something else because i thought there would be an overabundance, i guess i was wrong. So here you go
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS-He0PUBzk

  • Sir Tapir The Based

    The Lizard stole my lotuses.

    • tigeraid

      Dammit.

    • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

      Thats gonna be a dimmadarn good album

  • tigeraid

    Oh dear me, that Caged Fury shit has me all like: http://media.isl.co/2015/12/2nvaxzc.gif

    • tigeraid

      But I’m selfish so I still voted for mine.

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        Don’t do the JJD!

        • Tapir plz!

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Do the JJD!

          • more beer

            Yea it’s the latest dance craze!

      • Dubs

        You cad.

      • Boss the Turbid Ross

        you bastard.

    • Boss the Turbid Ross

      I know, RIGHT?!?

  • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

    I meant to send in an Unleash the Archers riff, which theoretically wouldve trounced all these. I will, however, vote Mares of Thrace

    • Spear

      Would have voted/10

      • Zero Kelvin

        Same.

  • more beer

    These ladies are friends of mine. One of the best female bands I have ever seen.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlE0DVS6xXQ

  • Eliza

    Totally forgot to submit a song. I would’ve sent this one:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2xVDhcZWJE My favorite female fronted band.

    • Boss the Turbid Ross

      I was wondering where your’s was…

      • Eliza

        I had one of the most overwhelmingly busy weeks in my life, so I can say I forgot to remember this. I love the song you picked and you get my vote.

        • Boss the Turbid Ross

          Both of their albums are name your price on bandcamp.

          • Eliza

            Great! I’d better start begging my parents now.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            You just put in $0 and you can download it for free.

            Also, that Hellion is jamming.

          • Eliza

            Thanks for the advice! And, yes, Hellion is great. They were one of the first metal bands I ever got into and I still love them to this day, which is way more than I can say for some of what I was listening to at the time (Cinderella, yes THAT Cinderella).

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            No problem, anytime an album is NYP that means the band or label doesn’t mind if you don’t pay for it, but if you can give them a few dollars it helps them out.

            HA, i’m glad you made the transition.

          • Eliza

            Yeah, there was a time I was really into glam metal. But because most of it barely has any substance, I got bored of it quickly.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Power metal >>>

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            *Power metal <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
            FTFY

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            One of these days, we’re gonna find out theres a PM band you do like

          • Eliza

            Can’t wait to see how that will turn out.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            called Blind Guardian.

          • Eliza

            Blind Guardian>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Infinite Hansi votes

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I hate Blind Guardian.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Manilla Road?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            HAHAHAHAAA
            I hate that too

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Riot?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Nope.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Iced Earth.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            That’s a no for me. I’m not a fan.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            More like Pooped Earth

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Hmm, i dont know. I’d have to think on it

          • Eliza

            True. The world is full of shit.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Pathfinder

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            More like Poopfinder

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Your face is a poopfinder

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            My face found you, so that makes you poop.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            In the TovH, we’re all poop

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Pathfinder is the tits!!!!!

          • Eliza

            Sabaton maybe.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Nope.

          • Eliza

            Damn! Most of Sabaton’s songs are about WWII, not Lord of the Rings, so I thought you might give them a pass.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Problem 1: They sound like shit
            Problem 2: They’re Swedish

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Sabaton…awful…

          • Eliza

            I agree that they are not amazing,but there is worse.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Oh yeah, of course there’s much much worse (and the fact that I’m always defending Slipknot’s first two albums doesn’t exactly help my opinion to be taken seriously either). In general I’m just not much of a fan of power metal, but I saw Sabaton live twice and I guess they’re a good live band if you’re into this kind of stuff, but each time it was the same cheery, sweaty, goofy, clap-your-hands atmosphere. Though I do like a few bands that have a heavy power metal influence, such as Nevermore or Symphony X.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            You saw them twice? Was it other bands you were there for?

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            They play quite a lot at some fest over here, always on main stage 1 or 2. Saw them once in 2010 and once in 2014 at the same fest. They also played over there in 2012, but I couldn’t make it to the fest that year. I remember in 2014 I was mainly there to watch Opeth, Triptykon, Candlemass, Napalm Death , Behemoth (who played on the same stage right before Sabaton) and Slayer.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Nice. CANDLEMASS, lucky bastard.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I think they just kicked out Rob Lowe back then, because Mats Leven was already handling the vocal duties.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Now I’m going through a list of power metal bands in my head, I must admit that I find Kamelot to be quite catchy from time to time.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Kamelot is the shit. And theyre american. Im one of the very few here who really enjoyed Haven

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            The Black Halo is the last album I listened from them, which was pretty good. Haven’t really been following them since then. I listened to a few songs of Haven. They weren’t too bad.
            I think Kamelot usually has really good vocals.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Well, they have a new vocalist that Roy Khan went all jesusy. He sounds almost exactly like him, with a little less oomph. Still v good

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            He did? From what I read, he left the band simply because he was burned out, and had to go back to Norway to take care of his mom.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Right on.
            Iced Earth?

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Iced Earth never did much for me, but there’s worse out there.

          • Eliza

            I like Nevermore too. I still haven’t listened to Symphony X, but I will probably. I remember when I listened to Sabaton’s Primo Victoria and loved it so much I decided to listen to the rest of their discography, which made me find my biggest flaw with them. They repeat the exact the exact same formula on every album. I guess this is not so bad if one really loves that formula, but I expect some growth and variation.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yeah they’re extremely repetitive, but then again, the same could be said for many other bands. But the fact there is way worse out there, was proven that same day at the same fest, as Avenged Sevenfold was the closing act of the day at mainstage 1. Horrible.

          • Eliza

            I saw Avenged Sevenfold written. I cringed.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            They’re one of those bands I find almost unbearable. I remember puking back when they were playing metalcore and I’m still puking now that they’re ripping off every classic metal act known to man.

          • Eliza

            And yet they are very popular somehow.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Unexplained mysteries of the world.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine
          • more beer

            There is no accounting for taste. Plus most of the human population is extremely stupid. Which explains everything.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Of course, but it’s still painful to see a band like 5FDP or Disturbed reach these huge levels of popularity within less than 10 years, while a first class band such as Crowbar has been around for more than 20 years and still has to play shows with an attendance of about 100 people.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Old Symphony X is beastttttt. Michael Romeo is a fat virtuoso

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Stick with the first 3 CDs of Symphony X, and you’re good. Past that, they get very lolbuttz.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Slipknot’s first two are very good.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Glad to know I’m not the only one on here that doesn’t completely hate them. Sure it’s rather angsty, but I kinda like the chaotic, warped nature of their music on s/t and Iowa back then.
            They lost me a bit at the third one. And AHIG was complete cringey slapnuts.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine
          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            They have a few songs, but overall it’s pretty redundant.

          • Eliza

            Why do you hate power metal so much though? Is is something personal?

          • Eliza

            You’re bashing power metal so much that I’m starting to think you actually secretly love it.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            One day, we’re gonna find out he has Rhapsody pajamas, Manowar blankets, and Nightwish underwear.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            ManOwaR has blankets?!? Where can i find one?

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            I’m sure they’re out there somewhere, or you could have them custom made.

          • more beer

            Do you really want a bunch of guys in speedos adorning your bed?

          • Boss the Turbid Ross
          • Eliza

            I’d laugh. Hard.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            oh, you.

          • Lacertilian

            Use this next time

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            You’ve unleashed the fucking fury now!

            https://media.giphy.com/media/AqBFv6OUgcanC/giphy.gif

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Glam metal>>>>>>>>

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Mmmmmm, nope.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I love my glam metal and my classic rock. Even Mickey Thomas era Jefferson Starship is good until they became Starship.

          • Eliza

            I love classic rock too, like 70’s Aerosmith and Uriah Heep for example.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I love Uriah Heep!

          • Eliza

            ^_^

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Classic rock is excellent. But glam metal, just never could get into it.
            I picked up Styx’s Grand Illusion on vinyl not too long ago.

          • Eliza

            I’m jealous.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            It’s progier than i was expecting.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Glam metal…

            *pukes up internal organs*

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Precisely

          • more beer

            That is the correct answer!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            And the ONLY answer!

          • more beer

            Very true.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Even Celtic Frost? #ColdLakeNeverForgetEvenThoughTomWantsYouToForget

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yeah but Celtic Frost more than made up for that painful mistake when they created Monotheist. Fucking hell that album absolutely slays!

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Good point! That and Trypticon.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yeah Triptykon kicks major ass. But they’re basically a continuation of Celtic Frost soundwise, just with a different bandname because Warrior promised Ain never to continue under the CF name without him.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Gotta give Tom credit. He was offered $100,000 to do Wacken as CF, but he refused. He could easily have done Triptykon under the Celtic Frost name and made a lot more cash, but didn’t. He’s still hilariously uptight when he does interviews, and sounds like an anal version of Dennis Miller, but he stuck to his guns.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Haha yeah he’s a bit of an uptight bastard, but as long as he keeps releasing music of a quality this high, I don’t care about him biting other people’s noses off in interviews.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I have all the Styx albums from Grand Illusion to Kilroy.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Right on, man.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Styx has been a favorite of mine for as long as I can remember,

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Styx fucking sucks. Shitty AOR.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            ..

          • Sir Tapir The Based
          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Damn, you used Bill Murray against me!!!!

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            I liked the singer’s Christmas album years back, simply because he’s an excellent vocalist. Too bad he got stuck with a band that’s one part shitty pop-prog and one part half-assed Supertramp.

          • Eliza

            Dokken is glam metal band and I like them a lot. It’s not all bad, but it’s not all good either. Just like anything else.

          • more beer

            You better not let GL hear you saying that.

          • Eliza

            Why?

          • more beer

            Because Dokken!

          • Eliza

            I get it. Well then, I must be careful.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Cinderella is very good though.

          • Eliza

            They are started off ok got better with time. It was the first thing that popped in my mind, that’s why I mentioned them. Faster Pussycat was another band I liked for a while and they are worse than Cinderella.

          • more beer

            No they are not.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Tell that to JAG.

          • more beer

            I have no problem telling him that.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Yes they are

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            No they are not.

          • more beer

            Thanks.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Look past the makeup

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            My ears can’t hear any make up

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Boss the Turbid Ross plz! You know I love Long Cold Winter!

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            My apologies for shitting on a band you enjoy, that’s far too much negativity.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Just remember that my taste is the law m8. Prepare yourself for glam metal and power ballads

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            How about we just agree how awesome Tau Cross is instead?

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I can accept that. I take it that you’re still listening to it?

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Yeah man, i play it every now and then. The record is on my to-buy list. Once i get it, I’m sure I’ll listen to it more so.

          • more beer

            Ted we are going to have to agree to disagree. But I do stand by my original statement.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I’m going to have to disagree to agree

          • No they are not.

          • NOPE

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Jimmy plz!

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            YEP

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Cinderella were a great band

          • Lacertilian

            “RATT CAN SUCK A DICK”Super Nintendo Chalmers 2016

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Lacertilian plz!

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine
          • Eliza

            The more I thought about it, I realised that after their debut, they got better and better. I still listen to Heartbreak Station when I feel sad.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I only have the first 2

  • dr.derelict

    I had no idea Iskra was female-fronted, and Ruins made my top 10 last year. Vote Vegg.

    • Boss the Turbid Ross

      they’ve had a rotating line up

    • CyberneticOrganism

      I didn’t either. I love their cover of Immortal’s Winterdemon

    • JWEG

      Bureval was the first album featuring Danielle on vocals.

      Their former, male, vocalist also played (plays?*) drums for a local grindcore band called Compound Terror.

      * It’s technically still active, from all that I can gather, but hasn’t recorded anything in five years (and doesn’t seem to do regular gigging anymore): https://compoundterror.bandcamp.com/

  • CyberneticOrganism

    RIP Awesome Mohawk Man

    • High on Vallenfyre

      I’m gonna miss him.

  • High on Vallenfyre

    W almost got me, but I had to bow before my lizard overlord. Is anybody else hungover? Cause I’m hungover.

    • more beer

      Yes I am also hungover. But It comes with the territory. Show plus lots of beer it is inevitable.

      • Boss the Turbid Ross

        Beer and waffles, it’s what’s for breakfast.

        • more beer

          If I didn’t have to drive in an hour it would be.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Ah, yeah, that would prevent it.

          • more beer

            Yea I have managed to make it this far into life without a DWI. I am going to continue on that plan.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Very nice, i do my best to prevent any dwis and the like. I hardly ever drink in public.

          • more beer

            If I’m driving I might have a beer. If I don’t have to drive I will throw them back. I live close to public transportation which also helps.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Right on. Not a lot of public transportation close to me.

          • more beer

            That sucks. It could be better here but it works.

          • Public Transit FTW.

          • more beer

            It is not like the east coast here. You have to have a vehicle.

          • Not owning a car saves me so much. Admittedly, it also limits money making opportunities, but I’m good with that trade off.

          • more beer

            My truck is how I make my money. I can’t make that trade off.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            I already have one public intox offense, and had to spend 5 hours in a drunk tank. That was enough to kill the whole drinking in public thing for me.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Damn, sorry to hear that.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Eh, it was over 2 years ago, so it’s ancient history to me. Just that 5 hours in the tank, and a $75 fine I got to pay 3 months later, so no biggie.

          • Didn’t you used to be a big drunk like I was or something?

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            *tall drink of water

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Yep. Not so much at that point though. It was the start of me not drinking hard liquor, though.

        • more beer

          My favorite place for that went out of business. They made what they called chicken and croissoffles. Which were waffles made with croissant batter. Fuck that pisses me off. They were so good.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            That sounds really good. My waffles are homemade

          • more beer

            I was so pissed they went out of business. Plus they had a lot of good beer. It was a great place for hair of the dog.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Now your messing with a , a sonofabitch!

          • more beer

            Hahaha!!!

      • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

        This isnt anything to be proud of, but its almost a physical impossibility for me to get a hangover from beer. Liquor, or liquor + anything, sure.

        • more beer

          Sure it is. I used to be like that. It starts catching up with you as you get older.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Its too bad my liver already looks like a rotted prune

          • more beer

            I can’t believe mine hasn’t shot out of my back.

          • sometimes the liver isn’t the weak point!

          • more beer

            Very true. But I have pushed all of my internal organs to the limit.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            The LIMIT?

          • more beer

            Should I put it more in terms of I have thrown them a hell of a beating..

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            But did you walk along the razors edge?

          • more beer

            Yes!

          • No limit soldja

          • Make ’em say “ughh”, na na na na.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Or a can of pineapples.

    • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

      I dont believe in hangovers

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Unfortunately, hangovers believe in me

    • Dubs

      Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

      • Lacertilian

        I be throwin’ all the bouquets up in here today

    • Lacertilian

      Yesss!
      And yes.

  • CyberneticOrganism
    • Eliza

      Neat.

    • Eliza

      Isn’t this from a movie?

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Yes, Malmhaus

        • Eliza

          I remember watching it. It was beautiful.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Yes it was, great movie

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            It had some good parts, but rather goofy overall.

  • Where might a chap look into purchasing some Nocturnal records?

  • @disqus_kqxyUNPxty:disqus, you or i should have thrown in some FALSE! that record is suh-weet

    • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

      I wasnt so impressed

    • Waynecro

      I almost submitted a False song, but I thought for sure someone else was going to do it.

  • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

    Conan, then Dragged into Sunlight & Primitive Man confirmed coming to raleigh this year

    • more beer

      You should go check out Primitive Man. I have see them numerous times and they always put on a good show. I am gonna go see them again February 20th.

      • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

        I had planned on it. I lurb DiS

        • more beer

          I am spoiled since they are a local band for me. So they play a lot of hows here.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Thats how Btbam was ruined for me

          • Ah……….

          • more beer

            I really don’t see it like that. As long as they keep putting out that good hatred I will continue to support them. But I am also very about supporting the local scene.

  • JWEG

    I’ve been waiting an entire week to vote for whoever submits Iskra (if a tie-breaker was needed I’d pick the one from Ruins, which isn’t here).

    Presence of MoT almost made me second-guess myself, though.

  • JWEG
    • Lacertilian

      Love this band. Eagerly awaiting the new album. Did you hear their Lemmy tribute track from a couple of days after his death?
      https://youtu.be/a41LTwpgxGQ

  • Waynecro

    Choosing between Abnormality and Ludicra (which features Impaled bassist Ross Sewage) was really difficult.

  • Lacertilian

    After much deliberation, the red helmet takes the Lizard vote.

  • Unstoppable Fart Machine

    Would it have counted if I submitted Life Of Agony?

    • Is there a joke in there

      • Unstoppable Fart Machine

        Nope. You are aware the singer is a female now, correct?

        • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

          A tranny?

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Well, post-op would be the more PC term, but sure.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            GAH

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            He’s Mina Caputo now, if you’re nasty.

            https://i.ytimg.com/vi/mQxcRoY1fko/hqdefault.jpg

          • more beer

            I don’t think we have to go all PC. It is what it is, regardless of what you call it.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Yep.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I was watching an episode of Joy Of Painting where Bob Ross painted this amazing mountain scene. It’s fucking amazing. It had me at the edge of my seat seeing what he was going to do. Now I want to paint.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcVeRlPu_5w

    • more beer

      Bob Ross has that effect on people.

      • Unstoppable Fart Machine

        Trees N Shit is so 2105. Mountains N Shit is what all the cool kids are doing nowadays.

        • more beer

          They are in their happy place. Because they are happy little trees.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Trees arent allowed to be happy. They gotta be frost covered, grim and necro kvlt, or they’re sissy trees.

          • more beer

            Tell that to Bob Ross.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Sure. You go exhume him and I’ll go tell it to his corpse.

          • Vermont trees are happy. Trust me on this.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            What is a Vermont?

          • It’s a magical land of snow, trees, and boredom.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            Finland?

          • Close.

    • Unstoppable Fart Machine
  • @lacertilian your victory from last week was something to which I introduced you! I think that means we split the trophy. right? so send me half of the Masterlord-shaped cake

    • Lacertilian

      You can take the whole cake, you deserve it!
      Be sure to have a vessel of Mithridate on hand though, no doubt @masterlordsteeldragon:disqus has dosed the cake with some kind of medieval poison concoction.

  • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

    Wolves in the Throne Room back in the studio!
    https://www.instagram.com/p/BBJXaORKNxb/

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      Wolves in the Studio Room.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      The Whale Oil Lamp Chapter of the No Fun Club is back in session

  • Zero Kelvin

    So many great riffs I could have submitted this week. Though I think this one wins for having sweet guitarmonies and the fact that the band broke up =(

    Riff starts at 0:00, though the whole song (and album for that matter) is laden with riffs.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnPi1lkDE7M&list=PL-hJaI0GJM4sOEs4LGguOMclVk1XHnJLs&index=10

  • Unstoppable Fart Machine

    Phil Anselmo, as predicted, apologizes ‘1000%’ and is asking for another chance. Complete with the usual celebrity prewritten speech: “I’m so sorry for all those I have hurt with my actions”. Fuck him.

    http://2fo1f5owhpk34dhn43qv0bcj.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/burning-bridge.jpg
    https://theguyliner.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/sorrynot.gif

    3, 2, 1 until he comes up with the usual “I can’t be racist, here’s how (‘I happen to know a couple of black guys’, ‘I get Chinese food every Saturday’, etc)” bit.

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      I saw Phil Anselmo at a liquor store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

      He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

      I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen bottles of white wine in his hands without paying.

      The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

      When she took one of the bottles and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually because “tonight is a white thing” and then turned around and winked at me. After she scanned each bottle and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by screaming “white power” really loudly.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Not like this is something new. I think everybody knows by now that he really does have stronger racist tendencies than your average musician. Which is disappointing.

      ANYWAYS

      That still isn’t going to stop me from enjoying some Down and Pantera from time to time. I don’t have to agree with his worldviews in order to enjoy his music, right?

      • Unstoppable Fart Machine

        Fuck Pantera and Down, even before all this. I can’t stand either one. To each their own, though.

        • Yeah, I can live without any Phil-oriented band.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          I’ve listened and liked both bands for years now. If you hated their music before this, Phil’s retard actions certainly won’t elevate your opinion on them. But if someone liked those bands for a long time and suddenly goes like “I’m never going to listen to them again”, then that person -in my opinion at least- is being a crybaby.

          Anselmo’s an idiot. And deserves to be called out on his moronic behavior. But I prefer to separate the art from the artist.

          And Robb Flynn’s still a hypocrite attention whore. And as with Anselmo, that still doesn’t prevent me from enjoying some of Machine Head’s work.

          • Anybody who didn’t already know this about Phil has either been living in a cave since the 90s or has engaged in willful ignorance.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Exactly. His racial prejudices have been obvious ever since he got famous handling Pantera’s vocal duties. But now there’s a storm going on you can see self-proclaimed “ex-Pantera fans” jumping on the hate bandwagon, saying they’ll never listen to anything from the band again. I’m not here to tell anyone what to do or not to do, but in my opinion that’s retarded.

          • Unstoppable Fart Machine

            I stopped listening to Pantera back in ’96. So it’s not exactly busting my opinion on Pantera, to be honest.

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        How can someone enjoy Pantera? It’s so bad.

  • Unstoppable Fart Machine

    And going ahead and pre-ordering the upcoming Persona debut CD later today. 😀

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy-8gDKZOAM

    3, 2, 1 until Tapir says it sucks without even listening to it.

  • Dagon

    Brock has my vote because I love me some Mares

  • Druid Lizard gets my vote.

  • Stanley

    That’s weird. The poll is still open for voting. I saw that Masterlord and Ted were tied at 6. There’s no way L7 are winning this. Masterlord FTW.