RIFF OV THE WEEK: DOWN UNDER

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Banging heads with a man in Brussells. 

That’s right, this week we’re jamming riffs from the land of plenty. Listen, vote, then make your own stupid jokes about Men At Work and other Australian clichés in the comments.

But no Steve Irwin jokes. That man was a saint, damn you.

Last week, the mighty, shining Spear took it home with GODS AND THE GOLD STANDARD METALLICA, authoritatively flushing all of our picks down the biggest, most putrid toilet ov hell. Well done and all hail Lars.

fffff

NEXT WEEK:

  • We’re doing riffs from a specific year again. I wanted to make it a challenge for you all by forcing you to pick something from the dark ages of shitty metal. W. suggested 2002. His will be done.
  • Send your 2002 riffs to toiletovhell@gmail.com. Include your name, a Youtube link, the time of the riff, and a description. First 15 are in.
  • If you have an idea for a theme, let me know in the comments.
  • Flush your life away.

 

Masterlord

Originally I had a killer Deströyer 666 riff in mind, but apparently so did everyone else. So, in an effort to diversify the selection, I picked this thing. I don’t know anything about Troldhaugen other than the fact this riff is really stupid and awesome and party.

 

Nordling Rites ov Karhu

Destroyah! 666! Mehr Satan! 1:20!

 

McNulty

Surprising nobody, I’m picking Stargazer’s “…Of the Sun” (0:00). I could have picked any riff from any Stargazer song, as I’m disturbingly in love with the band. Alas, I’ll settle with the first riff from the first song from their first LP. Reason?  It was my introduction to the band, and they started out by throwing a brick at my face. It changed my life. I’ve listened to this song over 200 times whilst farming souls in Demon’s Souls.  Not even tired of it.

 

Brouroboris 

This riff is not satisfied with immediately crushing you. It slams you into the earth with a Buddha’s Palm then shifts key down to continue the onslaught before uppercutting you back to the tonic and the end of the song. 4:09.

 

Mr. Custodial Arts

The whole damn song. A bouncy, life loving riff… and an empowering message to boot! Crank this in your Pinto, and YOU CAN’T BE BEATEN. Sure, I coulda picked Blood Duster or some shit, but, whatever. BONUS POINTS – the unbridled, enthusiastic pantomiming in the video! SUPER BONUS POINTS – looks like they’re on the set of STREET TRASH.

 

Maik Beninton

The intro riff. It’s really good at letting you know that this song is awesome.

 

Cybernetic Organism

Black metal + industrial = BFFs. Cold, precise, melancholy and appropriately epic. Skip to 0:30 for Australian headbanging perfection. (NOTE: headbanging not limited to Australians).

 

Howard Dean

Riffs? From Australia? For me, there is only one answer:  Deströyer 666. Possibly the best metal band from this former English prison colony,  Deströyer 666 are relentless riff machines. KK Warslut is a thrashing master of the blackened arts. The hardest part was choosing only one. Riff starts at 1:32.

 

Esusmoose

It’s pretty, has slight elements of heaviness and leads perfectly  into the climatic end of this great record. Time of riff – 3:05.

 

Jointsalot

I have decided to go with the intro Truth Corroded’s track “Decimate” from their Upon The Warlords Crawl record. As an Australian myself, I hope it gets your heads banging.

 

Lacertilian

I tried to resist the urge to submit Psycroptic, but I can’t do it – this week especially. The 2003 album The Scepter Of The Ancients is a must have for anyone into death, thrash, tech, guitars or drums. It showcases a multitude of styles without ever sounding like a clinic. This made it incredibly difficult to choose a single riff but I decided on one that is toward the back end of the album. I honestly couldn’t even choose a single riff from the song I picked, so maybe the furious uprising of guitars from HERE onwards. Victory doesn’t bother me too much, I just want you to give this album a listen.

 

Ted Nü-Djent

So hard to pick one riff from my homeland but in the end I had to go with my favourite Aussie band. 1:25 for the riff, but the real fun in this song is that you can change the words in the first line to “dingo stole my child” and it totally fits.

 

Ellipsis

@2:36, bass and drums caress your ears before the guitar and vocals return and tear them off.

 

Xan

Riff begins at 0:20 and lasts till 1:00. What it lacks in catchy factor it more than makes up in swarm of fucking hornets about to banish you into the furthest regions of the abyss and void.

 

George Lynch

I am recently new to Portal. They are from Australia. Win. The riff starts at 0:46 and runs until 1:13. Try listening to the build up – it makes the release so much blacker, and trust me, there is none more black.

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 01-02-2015 09:00:00
Poll Results:
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
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  • Corey Tay Tay

    No AC/DC?
    Disappointed.

    • Dagon

      I’m not. I can’t stand AC/DC, a fact that has led me towards many a bar brawls and heated arguments.

    • EsusMoose

      I’d rather get picked up for the cops for planning murder than listen to them

    • Gross.

      • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

        The lack of AC/DC? I think so too.

    • The Bestest Tapir

      No AC/DC is a good thing.

    • i guess Conan didn’t submit

      • Corey Tay Tay

        I never see that guy here.
        Is he still at metalsucks?

        • yup, carrying the grandpa metal torch!

          • Corey Tay Tay

            He would definitely get that job at Manosoft

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I carry the grandpa metal torch as well.

          • oh you carry something, all right

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            What’s in the TMS top 5 this week?

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      I thought Riff Raff was going to make an appearance, but every one submitted friggen Destroyer666 instead

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      It is sad that there’s no AC/DC here.

      • PhoenixKing Leonhart

        No it really isn’t.

  • KJM

    Now it’s time to journey to the Garden box office and hope the cheap seats for Rush are still available, looks good so far.

  • DDubya.

    I never see anyone talking about Australian masters The Alchemist, and that’s a shame. That slightly trippy riff that starts at about 6 seconds, coupled with that rock solid drum beat, is sure to get your hips and nips in motion.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbimxfFcYhY

    • Dagon

      This is a riff that makes me say “this is a god riff”. I like this riff.

      • DDubya.

        It’s a shame this band is relatively unknown. And on indefinite hiatus.

    • i dig ’em!1!

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      For a start you can drop “The” from their title. Also, I could’ve submitted 20 Alchemist riffs. The singer is now in a band called The Levitation Hex which is worth checking out. Please do
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-cl=85114404&x-yt-ts=1422579428&v=RGbxPWNa9jE&feature=player_detailpage

      • DDubya.

        D’oh! I don’t know why I slapped “The” in there.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          Damn, 2.40 in I should have submitted the above song

    • Lacertilian

      Did I pick it?
      I think your hint gave it away.

      • DDubya.

        You did indeed, my reptilian friend.

        • Lacertilian

          Your silence after my guess may have also been a strong hint.

  • BLXKKBEXRD

    Esus gets my vote, WoD are one of my favs

  • Mr.Custodial Arts

    I saw what a bunch of you did last night at that there CIRCLE PIT LOLBUTTZ blog thingy…I didn’t know DDubya had it in him…man that was ugly. Special nod to Stockhausen to be the only person in existence to brandish a college diploma in the midst of a flame war. Well done.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3__NN16uoXk

    • DDubya.

      I got caught up in the moment.

      • Gurpationment

        It was glorious, Mr President.

    • I just looked that up, feeling were hurt apparently.

  • Dagon

    I voted for Jud.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Ahem, you mean the Nuge.

      Also, thank you

  • Hubert, Goat ov/of SATAN!!!!!

    Destroyer 666 is one of the stupidest band names in a genre famous for it’s stupid band names. I haven’t listened to them, but that name doesn’t make me want to.

    Nobody picked a riff from Be’lakor’s excellent ‘of Breath and Bone’, and that’s a shame. Some of the most epic melodeath I’ve ever heard.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQH2jeBZMQc

    • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

      You must give teh Destroyah a chance.

    • Howard Dean

      Seriously, the name may be stupid, but they are on of the best black/thrash combinations in existence.

    • MoshOff

      I was going to submit a Be’lakor riff, but forgot. They’re amazing.

    • PhoenixKing Leonhart

      Kay. How about an Aussie black/thrash band with a slightly less stupid name?

      https://youtu.be/ceTlOUvVPN4

      • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

        Thank god, only slightly. Where would we be without stupid band names.

  • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

    I didn’t even know Straya had more than three metal bands.

    • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

      Confession: “I Am The Wargod” took three seconds to shift in my mind to “I Am The Beargod” and thus a legend was born. And I ascended to divinity.

      • I’m sorry to have to do this but… you might want to be careful there. Folks might think you’re referencing something else.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k86Uou3PZg

        • Scrimm

          Ugh *runs to the bathroom and hurls

        • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

          Everytime I hear Kid Rock playing I swear I can smell shitty buffalo wings and diesel exhaust…

          • CyberneticOrganism

            KID ROCK IS THE SHIT BRO HA HA HA YEAH LETS GO ROCK THE BULLGOD IN THE FRONT LAWN AND ROCK SOME BAGS

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Singin’ Sweet Home Alabama all summer long

        • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

          Oh.God. Universe have mercy on me.
          Edit: I am going to need to start shouting: “It’s not a Kid Rock reference!” in public, every five minutes.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        I am the walrus goo goo g’joob

        • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

          One of the three or four good Beatless songs

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            That many?

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Strawberry fields, Walrus, Magical Mystery fuckup and, I think there was this one George Harrison tune I liked released under the
            Beat-less banner

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      I’m surprised no one submitted a Pungent Stench song

  • Gurpationment

    I should have submitted a Grave Upheaval riff for maximum tectonic activity.

    • Howard Dean

      I like Grave Upheaval, and actually contemplated submitting something from them, but let’s be honest: they are a band that relies on atmosphere and overall heaviness rather than riffs. Swampiness and murk can be fun, but the riffs are generally nothing special.

      • Gurpationment

        Yeah, they’re more like if Sunn O))) played death metal.

  • Scrimm

    Holy shit am I hungover! Lacertilian wins. Scepter is one of the best death metal albums of all time imo though I would have just went with that final riff prgression on the album.

    • with you on the first part.

      • Scrimm

      • Scrimm

        I kinda want a beer.

        • crack open a fawstah’s! i would too, but i’m working today..

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            No one and I mean no one in Australia drinks Fosters. They’re relaunching it out here right now but they’d be better relaunching KB so we can end up like this chundering little pioneeer
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-cl=85114404&x-yt-ts=1422579428&v=PJCPnF2XE64&feature=player_detailpage

          • DDubya.

            If it makes you feel better, no one drinks Foster’s here either (at least no one worth saving when the flood comes).

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            It does thanks

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            I drink Foster’s, it’s the best cheap beer hereparts

          • Scrimm

            HEY!

          • DDubya.

            Scrimm, old buddy, in an apocalyptic situation, I’d save you. But just you.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            So you’d leave me to drown? After all I’ve done for you! I… I… I don’t think I know what to say

          • DDubya.

            I trust that a little rain could not overcome your divine might.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            You are right in that, but my mortal coil might suffer and I’ve grown quite fond of it, in fact more so than any of the 17 preceding ones.

          • Scrimm

            Wait what am I worried about? Thanks man I’ll just use one of these

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I have been shamed by The Simpson (not for the first time). The first picture is a joke on an actual product

          • Scrimm

            Bummer. I have nothing to do but work on music and play Resident Evil all day, but I think I might skip the beer this time.

        • Tyree

          It’s almost 3 and I just woke up. I’m drinking one now to take the edge off.

      • Lacertilian

        …and the second
        say it
        ssssaay it

        • Go home lacy boy, you’re drunk. Oh wait, its like … Some time in Australia.

          • Lacertilian

            I may have still been drunk from last night. Big night!

    • Lacertilian

      I was kicking myself the other week for the fade out riff that I chose something else for. Such a great ending to an album.

  • BLXKKBEXRD

    Was tempted to submit Thy Art is Murder riff for the lulz

    • If we hadn’t got so many submissions I would have gone with a Deez Nuts tune.

    • EsusMoose

      I somewhat wanted to submit a Twelve foot ninja riff, but decided I didn’t want to lose. The toilet isn’t too keen on sick tones that take 6 hours to acheive

      • 12FN is another band I shouldn’t hate I just… do. Hate them so much. I’m sorry, little corgi.

        • EsusMoose

          It’s fine we see at different levels mine’s just more grounded

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          Too much hero worship in every single second of every single song. No resonation with the Nuge at all.

        • Jointsalot

          I saw them live as a support act once before. I couldn’t get into it.

      • JvRv

        I almost did as well, I just dont have an ear for killer riffage. Vaguard is >>>>>>>>> though

        • EsusMoose

          I never got to into vanguard, loved their eps and the mood of Luna.

    • one of our friends likes them…

      • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

        Arch and spire? Amirite?

        • EsusMoose

          This Spire of Arch does he enjoy listening to infernal dropbear music that much that he would gladly listen to Thy Art is Breakdowns?

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            If I’d have to take a guess, I’d say yes.

      • God ov All

        Is it me? It’s probably me.

    • Lacertilian

      yuk.

  • Bözlinger

    No Bloodduster, no Deadkelly…no good https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYn7ToC2Lf0

    • BLXKKBEXRD

      Eeeech

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      “FUUUUCKK!! ….OFFFF!! …CVVVNNTSS!!!!!”

    • Eat a Bag of Smelly Farmer Dicks – that shirt is awesome

    • welcome to the toilet!

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      There he is! I posted a song in your name up above

  • EsusMoose

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfR9iY5y94s Dubya(in the disguise of Masterlord’s pants) may have put it as the picture but we need this like Portal’s singer needs to be a suffocating boxheaded member of society

    • Why does everyone think I’m Dubya lately? I’m personally flattered, but it’s probably offensive to him.

      • EsusMoose

        You guys aren’t one? I shall edit this

    • is that Christopher Ecclestein in the video?

      • EsusMoose

        I really don’t know, it’s my first time seeing it. I’m left with the impression that Australians are crazy

        • Seems like an accurate assessment to me.

        • Max

          Our Prime Minister just awarded Prince Phillip a knighthood. Which, for a duke, is technically a demotion. Crazy? Shan’t deny it.

      • KJM

        I’ve always thought he looked like Colin Hay.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Upvote for the accompanying comment, as for the song, I fucking hate this song

  • MoshOff

    I want trademark on the Brouroboris name, that was my joke.

  • Stanley

    How about the Australian Metallica, Mortal Sin? I played this record to death.

    Check out the title track “Mayhemic Destruction” at 30:40 or for maximum Metalliciness check out Women in Leather at 2:53.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bG_TQ84gf7w

    • PhoenixKing Leonhart

      Mortal Sin are cool. Definitely the Aussie Metallica though.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Really?

        • PhoenixKing Leonhart

          I always felt so.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            The collaboration with Rolf harris was so contrived so I guess you’re right (jks, but pedophilia is not funny so not jks)

  • I wanted to get in on this one and recommend Agents of Abhorrence because they are excellent, can I get an honorable mention? The whole song rips so I nominate all riffs.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7XGIkA2jMs&spfreload=10

    • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

      The cover art is fitting.

      • I think they were targeting the emo kids demographic with that one. The music is anything but.

        • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

          Actually, I like this cover.

  • Stanley

    How about those crazy Australian violinists?

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y_iCwJgRtpk

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Just gonna leave this here…

    https://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=ComTdJ-weHg

    • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

      It takes me to youtube front page

      • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

        Refresh and try again Mr. BearGod sir!

        • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

          It’s alive! It’s alive!

  • tertius_decimus

    Alchemist, big time!

  • EsusMoose

    I realized I could have also chosen these guys, but they’re prog rock and the lead singer looks like a potential meth head. Jump to 30 seconds to skip the stupider beginning part, I despise the edit in the video but retro 80 cheese is too appealing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPL3dIv8t4c

    • i am now currently downloading more Woods of Desolation, so thank you.
      then you go and post this. you’re tickling my fancy today, m8!

      • EsusMoose

        Oi, I’m glad m8, I’m trying to learn Australian https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHQRZXM-4xI

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          My brothers nickname is Knackers, guess where I’m from?

          • EsusMoose

            Haha I know where you’re from, Tasmania. Joking aside, I also just learned it actually is one of Australia’s states.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I know Tasmania is, I just sometimes forget. It was even left off the medals at the 2000 Sydney Olympics which caused many o Tasmanian to flame. Well long enough to stop them from fucking their sisters for a couple of hours

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            I take it your not the #1 friend of Tasmanians, who actually aren’t even tasmanians

          • EsusMoose

            I’m curious what stereotypes do mainland Australians have for them? It sounds like it’s about the same as American rednecks

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™
          • EsusMoose

            Looking at the comments helps me believe this video is a perfect representation of Tasmania

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            This should also help you out
            https://www.facebook.com/TasmanianMemesTas

        • you got my vote today, based corgi

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      I like this and I have never heard of them

      • EsusMoose

        Good group, their two albums sound rather different, the first having a more rock sound while the second expands into a few different genres

  • i’m not sharing in the Destroyer 666 love. *sigh* is this going to be another Bolt Thrower situation for me? so scratch them… and we have another impossible competition! i never vote myself, so no Stargazer. Lacertilian is being a gentleman as always. TIL about Five Star Prison Cell, Truth Corroded, and Woods of Desolation (all are amazebro). i’ve been a Portal fan for a while now, and it gives me a boner that the nicest human being on the planet (GL) is now getting into them. let me think about this…

    • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

      How can ye not love Teh Destroyah!?

    • This is imo pretty much the perfect metal song (similar in vein to David Allan Coe’s “Perfect Country & Western Song”). Does it do nothing for you?
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpCBWP2x2ts

      • BLXKKBEXRD

        Nope

        • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

          Plank’s o’er there, ye scurvy land-lubbin’ lifelover!–>>

    • PhoenixKing Leonhart

      Damn. Even Joe who usually laughs at this genre likes the Desutroyah Triple 6? I don’t know what to tell ya, McNulty.

      At least now you can’t give me shit for not liking Revocation though 🙂

      • good point! i feel like we agree on most things though. for example, february 17th can’t come quickly enough (new Sarpanitum!!!)

        • PhoenixKing Leonhart

          Indeed. If they and Mithras both release new albums this year, the world might implode on itself.

    • Scrimm

      Your lack of Bolt Thrower love makes me sad.

      • i gave them a shot after that one incident. i didn’t hate them by any means! i really just feel like cannibal corpse does the same thing, but better. i’ll jam some BT fight now…

        • Scrimm

          I hope they click with you at some point. I’m so hooked on Cannibal Corpse right now it’s sick.

  • Corey Tay Tay

    The full version of Howard Dean’s choice is this
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIvcFJq21IQ

  • u no include mine 🙁

    • We get a fuck ton of submissions every week. Generally, it fills up within the first 3 days.

      • SO IF YOU’RE READING THIS RIGHT NOW AND YOU WANT TO BE INCLUDED NEXT WEEK, THINK ABOUT SENDING ME YOUR SUBMISSION SOONER RATHER THAN LATER.

        • @joethrashnkill:disqus rules us all with an iron fist!

        • Sent you guys one a little while ago. I expect to take home a win with my submission.

          • That’s the damn spirit!

          • Dagon

            Sorry, bro. Maybe next next week.

      • It’s ok I’ll save it for another week.

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      I submitted mine for next week. It’s a good one.

      • “I submitted mine for next week. It’s gonna rustle jimmies so hard”
        *FTFY

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          What is it? Mine is going to rustle jimmies as well.

  • B00mhauer

    Completely amazed some of you found a riff in a Portal song. Also, no Sadistik Execution!? FUKK YOU!

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Sadistik Execution you say?
      Fukk Hakk Slash sukk hukk kokk

      We are death, fuck you.

      • KJM

        Asskisser RiotAct!!

      • B00mhauer

        FUKK OV DETH, DETH OV FUCK. Being an undereducated Neanderthal is metal as hell, man. Get with it.

        • B00mhauer

          Damn it, I misspelled fukk on that second one.

  • KJM

    Managed to score a “cheap” nosebleed heaven Rush ticket. I iz a happy camper.

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      Sweet dude. You’ll be able to get high while you’re up high, listening to Geddy Lee sing about Tom Sawyer getting high! Hahaha!
      **Disclaimer: Do not, under any circumstances, take anything this nipple says seriously. That includes this disclaimer as well (or does it…?) BWAH HAHAHAHA!!
      …I think I need to cut down my caffeine intake in the morning…

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      Where?

      • KJM

        Boston June 23

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          I hope that Madison Square garden didn’t sell out. I want to see them.

          • what even IS Boston?

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            A band and a city that produced the Red Sux.

          • KJM

            A mostly boring city next door to Cambridge, Brookline, and Somerville.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Non sequitur: Have you listened to the new Morbid Evils?

          • KJM

            No I haz not.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            It’s absofuckingmagnificientlylutely tasty.

          • KJM

            Noted.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Blasphemy.

          • KJM

            Allston/Brighton and Jamaica Plain are the only cool parts of Boston. Everything else of interest is in Brookline, Cambridge, and Somerville.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™
          • KJM

            Act quick. There’s not much left for MSG.

  • KJM
    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      This guy right here

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    What the fuck is a Troldhaugen?

  • Dagon

    In actuality, 2002 had a FUCKLOAD of rifftastic material. Songs for the Deaf, Remission, Surrounded by Thieves are the ones which immediately come to mind. Also, this happened in 2002:

    http://p2.img.cctvpic.com/20100524/images/1274690464390_1274690464390_r.jpg

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Hey man, Australia after being shamed with no wins at the Brazilian world cup won the Asian Cup last night defeating South Korea 2-1 in overtime. I’m pretty stoked as it’s the forst major tournament the Socceroos have ever won

      • Dagon

        They put out a good show, though. Their match against Netherlands was exciting and there was this one dude whose name I forgot who was playing tremendously. Cahill, I guess.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          It was Cahill, he’s the greatest Australian to ever lace on a soccer boot for Australia. He scored the goal of the tournament for mine. In Brazil, we qualified but with an aging squad, we sacked the coach before the World Cup and brought in Ange Posticoglou who has rebuilt the squad and introduced a new generation. We slipped majorly down the world rankings in the process but we are starting to see the benefits now. I’m also stoked that the coach is a homegrown coach.

          • Dagon

            Homegrown works a long way in soccer, because sometimes motivation trumps tactics, and usually when people can relate to each other they bond more.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Guus Hiddink did a lot for Australian Soccer though and getting us up to a world standard

  • tertius_decimus

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHzHDlxzwN0

    Had intention to contribute with Alarum but who knows them? Completely forgotten band.

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    Back patches on denim jackets, back patches on denim jackets every where.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-cl=85114404&x-yt-ts=1422579428&v=0r9L4D3Iy18&feature=player_detailpage#t=35

  • Mother Shabubu III

    This band needs more liebe and exposure.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHuOblnEZxo

    • Dagon

      Quite interesting jam, sir. Feels like math-y latin music when the distortion is turned off. Or maybe it doesn’t sound like that at all and I just suck at describing music. Maybe I just suck at life. And nobody loves me…

      • DDubya.

        I love you, fishman.

        • Dagon

          Thank you, child. I feel much better now. I might even let it slide that your family has drilled many holes over my reign.

        • cosigned.
          hey you’re a Keep of Kalessin fan, right? i’m not huge on them, but i’m spinning the new album. “Dark Divinity” is a solid jam!

          • DDubya.

            I do indeed like them.

    • Damn, been a while since I heard these guys!

  • Did you know it’s impossible to whisper in Chinese!
    #LanguageFacts

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™
    • Dagon

      We need to stage an intervention and bring those cunts back.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfTAD0Nmrqo

    • where’d he go anywayz?

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        He came back briefly (shoulda scrolled down first)

        • Lacertilian

          This Boz?

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Ha, no

          • Lacertilian

            Do you agree that the guy in the lead-in banner for this article looks like Fatty Vautin doing a sketch on the Footy Show?

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Hahahaha I thought it was when I first saw him

          • Duke Nukem? ^^^^^

  • PhoenixKing Leonhart

    I love you guys, but you are a bunch of rank noobs.

    Simon says tune to 0:05 and burn

    https://youtu.be/RsO0gZC7Glw

  • old_man_doom

    Dude, Troldhaugen sounds like Oingo Boingo if Danny Elfman worshipped Satan. I love it.

  • Tyree

    … And who got you into Portal Mr. George Lynch?

  • Scrimm

    Maybe somebody has said this before, but Masterlord’s avatar looks like he skips leg day.

  • CT-12
  • tertius_decimus

    Idea for the next RIFF OV THE WEEK: the saddest riff ever.

    • you’d have to specify what you mean by “sad” !

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™
      • tertius_decimus

        You got me caught up in a trap, lol! Sad is sad, don’t know how to describe it. Everyone feels different when is down, it’s just someone’s erroneous observation that all who experience melancholy/depression/whatever other mental disease feel alike. I think setting very tight borders of what can be considered sad is meh. Feel free to be free.

        • i think there’s a language barrier here. i was making a joke:
          A) sad as in opposite of happy
          B) sad as in pathetic. like last week Fred Durst’s sad attempt at a guitar solo
          i really do like your idea tho

          • tertius_decimus

            LOLBUTTZ!

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            No, It was definitely you. I didn’t get this either… oh wait

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Saddest fiff in 2002? Personally after listening to Napalm Death almost exclusively last week I would like to see a Napalm ROTW in the future as a bit of a tribute to a legendary band. Just like with this weeks tribute to Destroyer666 (not legendary)

      • tertius_decimus

        Whatever year.

  • JWG

    It’s like I said last week (paraphrasing myself though), I won’t need to enter at all because I knew that several would pick Destroyer 666, leaving chances high that at least the album I would have picked a riff from would be included. Then two of you went and did it.

    My vote goes to the first of the two (I am the Wargod) because that was even the tune I was thinking of in the first place.

  • JvRv

    Howard and Lacertilian really brought it this week. But CyberneticOrganism gets my vote. Really tough decision this week. You guys all suck.

  • Lacertilian

    Where’s Ruins?
    I’m was never too big on black metal until visiting here and finding some songs I enjoyed, are they frowned upon or celebrated?
    Are they even proper black metal?
    When did spinach decide to grow on land & water?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsXL2Q7-yjE

  • Lacertilian

    2002 next week? That was a pretty shitty year.
    Just looking through, it seems Masterpants MMXV & Randall Thor may have a fair few choices to sort through.
    Blind Guardian, Rhapsody, Hammerfall, King Diamond, Halford, Manofuckingwar, even Dio released an album, or were these albums also subject to the shittyness of palendrome year syndrome?
    This list kinda makes me laugh at the ‘Top Metal Albums of 2002’ title and the bands chosen. http://rateyourmusic.com/list/flying_dino/top_heavy_metal_albums_of_2002/

    • Pretty good year for me, actually, though I was listening to way more Futurepop and synthpop than anything. Also when I started doing music journalism.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Bloodbath Ressurection Through Carnage, Cannibal Corpse Gore Obsessed, Dream Theater 6 Degrees of Inner Turbulence, Jerry Cantrell Degradation Trip, Opeth Deliverance, DEP Irony Is A Dead Scene, Killswitch Engage Alive Or Just Breathing (the only KE album worth a damn), Blood For Blood Outlaw Anthems, The Hellacopters High Visibility, Danzig I Luciferi and Blood Duster D.F.F were all released in 2002

      • Lacertilian

        To be honest I have probably only listened to 5 or 6 of those ones.
        I’m just going to say that my vote will go to whoever submits March Of The Fire Ants by Mastodon, unless something else jumps out. Although, looking at it now Decapitated’s Nihility, Meshuggah’s Nothing,The Red Chord’s debut and Nile also came out.
        I’ll always have a soft spot for Nihility.

  • Lacertilian

    Another one I could have chosen without regret would have been either ‘The Butcher of Bessarabia’ or ‘Countess Bathory’s Finishing School For Girls’ by the awesome Crooked Fiddle Band.
    While they are not metal, they are about as fucking metal as gypsy violin folk can be.
    Influenced by alot of black metal and old school classical thrash, these guys/gal destroy.

    Countess Bathory’s Finishing School For Girls

    appears someone has done a comedy sync-job with the former track too, with that Andre Rieu tool. It’s actually pretty well done for what it set out to be.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZPzilwkOK0

  • Stanley

    The lizardman gets it by a tongue.

  • How can you forget the almighty Pegazus?!?!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuqGT9ntAaw

  • Howard Dean

    I understand what Portal is all about, and I even like them, but are we actually going to pretend that their riffs are good? Their music is all about conjuring an atmosphere and darkness; riff masters they are not. If this were a “darkest and most menacing sounding music” contest it would be one thing. But we’re talking metal riffs. Bands like Portal are fun, but the really don’t have a place in contests like this.