Riff ov the Week: Bands Whose Names End in the Letters “T” and “H” In That Order

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I got a shitload of ideas from you all after last week’s threat to roll on these letter-themed ROTWs until the end of time. Joke’s on you; I wouldn’t have gone through with it. I never go through with anything. You should know that by now. Plus, “E”, “R”, “T”, and “H” are the only letters I know.

Last week, the battle of the “E” and the “R” ended in victory for the mighty Thrower of Bolts and their patron Howard Dean. Joe followed closely behind with Mammoth Grinder.

Untitled

Well fought, dorks.

Next week:

  • The Dean Machine pitched a cool idea he called Chorus Riff ov the Week. In his own words – “The repeated chorus section of a song and the riff that accompanies it.” But I want to add another one of my stupid ideas because that seems too easy. Here it is: The lyrics of the chorus must be a single word. Time to dig through some old death metal.
  • Send your one-word-chorus riff to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include a link, your name, a description and the time of the riff.
  • Okay.

 

Masterlord

3:06. PURE EVIL.

 

Xan

Riff starts at 0:18. Thanatos‘ new album was filled with great riffs. This particular riff starts out the album and smashes faces.

 

Ron Deuce

Mission: Crush Dicks
Assigned to: The Abominable Iron Sloth
Course of Action: Opening bass line followed by full band assault
Result: Mission Accomplished

 

Tertius Decimus

With many Decrepit Birth songs in mind I’m going to submit Bloodbath‘s “Outnumbering the Day”. Don’t ask why. The riff starts at 0:25.

 

Maik Beninton

The catchy intro riff.

 

Shrimp in a Pizza Box

Description: 0:00. I liek dis.

 

John

Perhaps the lowest of the low-hanging fruit, but fuck you what a riff. The whole song is epic, but I guess the actual RIFF would start at 7:05.

 

Ted Nü-Djent

The tempo and the urgency of this song builds and builds until it all explodes at 1:37.
I saw Brutal Truth on the tour cycle for this album at a pub in Sydney and it’s still one of the most intense and insane live shows I’ve ever witnessed.

 

Howard Dean

Black metal of the fiery damnation variety, a relative maelstrom of brimstone in a single serpentine riff. Aosoth bring you to fiery lake with their hot-as-Hades guitar tone and eerie-as-fuck riffs. Not for the weak. Starts at 0:22.

 

Esusmoose

Skronky, pickscrapes, haunting vocals, Italians, a fantastic combination at 0:45.

 

Old Man Doom

First part of the song (listen for a couple minutes). This riff truly evokes, as the title suggests, a brutal hunt through wilderness and rough terrain. This section leads into an awesome Pink Floyd-ian/Mastodonian breakdown in the song’s middle. From this point, the song transitions into its final movement: a heavy-as-fuck caveman stomping outro. Check out the whole song if any of this sounds appealing (and the entire album for that matter). Mountain metal at its finest.

 

Ellipsis

Kayleth are a spacey, yet groovy band hailing from Italy. Float through the cosmos @2:53

 

Stanley

There’s really only two riffs in this song and so I went for the other one. And just in case you forget, “Black Metal ist Krieg!”. Riff starts at 2:55.

 

Alucard

Is it metal? No. Do I care? Not in the slightest. Synthrock gloriousness from less than a month from now. So much awesome in on keyboard riff. Riff starts at the beginning, though you won’t be able to tell, you’ll be too busy flailing your arms around like you were in a late 80’s Manchester night club and had just took 5 hits of E.

 

Lacertilian

Riff starts just after 1:00. Should play from the start though, you won’t. YOU WON’T.

___________________________

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 26-07-2015 01:00:00
Poll Results:
(TH)e winner is...
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  • Dubzlinger, Malandro Slayer

    One of these riffs is not like the others, one of these riffs just doesn’t belong.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    Last weeks winner was Bolt Thrower, I simply don’y know how much lower the fruit could possibly hang. So I was going to go with Opeth. But then Aosoth happened. What can I say, little Howie Wowie knows how, when and from where to fondle me the best.

    • Howard Dean

      *fondling intensifies *

      • Nicki Minaj’s Cannibal Diaper
      • *upon hearing about “fondling”, a wild tapir approaches…

        • Sir Tapir The Based

          Fondling involves touching others. Tapir does not like that.

          • Nicki Minaj’s Cannibal Diaper
          • Sir Tapir The Based

            That’s not me, that’s my degenerate cousin. I am purity.

          • Nicki Minaj’s Cannibal Diaper
          • more beer

            Your cousin looks like he has much more fun than you.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            “Fun” is not in this tapir’s dictionary.

          • more beer

            At least you stick to your guns. But for fucks sake loosen up a little bit everything doesn`t need to be so serious!

          • Sir Tapir The Based
          • more beer

            Suit yourself. I`m gonna go bar b que with a bunch of my metal brothers, drink beer and have fun!

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            But seriously, I do have fun. My fun is just different from your fun.

          • more beer

            Yea I guess you could always go stab everyone in your Finnish town square or something similar.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Would do, but the po-po would go after me. Instead I’ll take a walk with my doggies or read something. To me that’s fun.

          • more beer

            The po-po always ruin a good time! Do what ever makes you happy is what I believe. Do your thing Tapir!

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            Fun is in my dictionary. You should go hire a woman to show you a good time. You might enjoy it.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            JJD espousing prostitution? Now I have seen everything!

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I would never hire a prostitute. I do believe it can be useful to some people though.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Wouldn’t be useful to me.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            Sure you are.

          • what a bunch of cutie-pies!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Finland. No touching.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            If you touch me, I’ll touch you with a knife.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            What if I just want to pet the tapir?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            If you touch me, I’ll touch you with a knife.

          • more beer

            So they fuck through a hole in a sheet like the Hasidic Jews do. So there is no actual contact?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Finns reproduce asexually. We are like ameba.

          • more beer

            At least the Hasidim get to blow a load! That there is the worst form of reproduction ever!

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I feel bad for the animals that reproduce asexually.

          • Howard Dean

            If y’all Finnish men are looking to be asexual, I would happily reproduce sexually with many of your Finnish women.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I would too.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I had no clue Hasidics did that. That’s just stupid in my opinion.

          • more beer

            Mine too!

          • more beer

            So they fuck through a hole in a sheet like the Hasidic Jews do. So there is no actual contact?

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Finland. No touching.

    • john

      Fuck sakes.

  • MoshOff

    That requirement for next week is HARD. Why do you hate us Masterlord?

    • Howard Dean

      Indeed. The chorus/riff is fairly straightforward yet still challenging enough to think about, but that extra bit he tacked on makes it pretty tough. I’m expecting like six people to submit “Nightmare” by Sarcofago, and honestly I wouldn’t begrudge them that (and I would probably vote for them).

      • MoshOff

        I almost went with Blasphereion by Deicide, but technically that’s two words.

        BLAS-PHE-REI-ON
        DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE

      • CT-12
        • Howard Dean

          Byah! Scream Bloody Gore and Leprosy or GTFO!

      • how many Soulfly picks will we see?

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          With the amount of love it gets from the Toilet, I’d say -7

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            CAVALERA MAN HAVE PRETTY SING VOICE!!!!!!!!

        • Howard Dean

          REFUSE! RESIST!!

          Whoops! Wrong band, and it’s two words.

        • I now have ideas for next week.

        • Kevin Nash & Friends

          Does Jumpdafuckup count as one word? It’s spelled as such as the song title.

    • Nicki Minaj’s Cannibal Diaper

      That requirement for next week ensures that Masterlord has a song in mind, and no one else will be able to come up with anything.

      FTFY

      • more beer

        The solution to that is no one vote for his song and write in your own. I think he might know the only song in existence that meets that criteria. I even thought about punk and hardcore and couldn`t think of a one word chorus.

        • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

          Same here. It’s hard for me to think of a one word chorus in any genre, actually. Actually, I think I got one that I’ll submit……….

        • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

          Got one submitted, and guarantee no one’s even heard this one. Check and mate!

          • more beer

            Having thought about it more. There are hundreds of songs with a chorus of Oi!Oi!Oi!. I know it’s not metal but some punk should be allowed.

          • interrogation room, @more beer:disqus!!!

          • more beer

            Hahaha! The only thing that matters is the the buttfaced amber i’m drinking for breakfast.

    • john

      I have one submitted, but not sure if it will be accepted…

  • ME GORAK B.C.™

    GORAK FORGOT SUBMIT!!!!!!!!!!!
    https://youtu.be/dYYUR21_G9c

    • B00mhauer

      Early Death is a treasure trove of riffs. Hell, ALL Death is a treasure trove of riffs.

      GORAK PLEASES BOOMHAUER

      • ME GORAK B.C.™

        DANG OL’, YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN BOUT MAN!!!!!!!

        • RustyShackleford

          YEP!

    • john

      mmmm dat Death tho. Not a bad call.

    • EASY TO FORGET THINGS WITH NO “STICKY NOTES” APP

      • ME GORAK B.C.™

        GORAK USE XPAD FOR UBUNTU!!!!!! NOT COST ANY ROCKS!!!!!!!

  • B00mhauer

    You can always count on Howard Dean to bring the fucking evil. HAIL STAN or whatever his name is.

    Also, how long until ToH gets 1,000 likes in Facebook? I bet by Friday. TELLYEWHATMANYO

    • B00mhauer

      Also, I cracked an egg this morning and it had two yolks in it. God is on my side.

  • Uhh. Bloodbath.

    I nominate this EP. Best EP ever. Packed of riffs, excellent drumming and a bass that compacts all the sound. Even with the clear production is an album with a gut ripping style, very energic.

    Riffs start in 0:00.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOhEgg2jNSw

  • Tertius.

    Peter Tägtgren salutes you.

    http://data.whicdn.com/images/57124704/original.jpg

    • Nicki Minaj’s Cannibal Diaper

      Johnny Depp without the plastic surgery. ^^^^^^^^^^

  • Kevin Nash & Friends

    Here’s my TH riff. Even though the TH is at the beginning it’s still a great riff.

    The Band is one of the greatest groups of our time. George Harrison called them the greatest band ever. The Last Waltz is one of the greatest and most important concert movies ever. Here’s one of their best cuts in my opinion from The Last Waltz which also features Van Morrison. Riffs are plenty in this song but my favorite is from 3:06 to 3:56.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44wDwMQVqCc

    • Tyree

      Yes!

      • Kevin Nash & Friends

        Yay, I’m not alone when it comes to liking the Band!

        • Waynecro

          Dude, yes! I grew up listening to The Band because of my parents. I still listen to The Band all the time, and “The Last Waltz” is one of only two Blu-rays I own.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I like you. I just watched The Last Waltz a few weeks ago and it was awesome.

          • Waynecro

            “The Last Waltz” soundtrack is on my various Zunes permanently (though I usually skip Neil Diamond’s song). Every time I hear a tech-death/skronk song with pinch harmonics all over the place, I think of Robbie Robertson from The Band. He used that shit constantly.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I always loved the version of Caravan they did in the movie. Van Morrison is so awesome.

          • Waynecro

            Definitely my favorite version of “Caravan.” Van Morrison fucking kills it in that performance. The little fella’s so fucking pumped that he’s kicking and flailing around like a champ.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            He’s one of the best. I loved his Astral Weeks album as well as St. Dominic’s Preview.

          • Waynecro

            They don’t call him “Van the man” for nothin’.

  • ME GORAK B.C.™

    JOHN WIN!!!!!!!!!!

    • Kevin Nash & Friends

      I did enjoy his riff but I enjoyed the Shrimp’s riff more.

      • ME GORAK B.C.™

        GORAK CONSIDER THAT ANTHRAX RIFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        https://youtu.be/C0SOC0FIK7o

        • Kevin Nash & Friends

          It may be lifted from this song but I enjoy both versions of the riff.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            GORAK MIGHT VOTE BEHEMOTH FOR WOLVES GUARD MY COFFIN!!!!!!!

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            You should.

  • Here’s me for next week, I need a five word maximum.
    https://designspike.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Know-when-to-fold-em.jpg

  • Shrimp in a Pizza Box OV HELL

    I’m pretty sure my riff is the lowest of hanging fruits over here, unless people completely forgot about the rest of Behemoth’s discography after The Lolbuttzanist.

    • Incoming snob comment, that opening riff on Behemoth sounds like Be All, End All by Anthrax.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpcmQm9Lilc

      • Shrimp in a Pizza Box OV HELL

        Yeah well Anthrax doesn’t end in “th” in that order, so you get that.

    • i’m one of the many people who really enjoyed the longbuttzanist. better than their death ‘n roll work, amirite?

      • Shrimp in a Pizza Box OV HELL

        I did enjoy it too, but it wasn’t album of the year material imo, and it didn’t really have as many memorable riffs as other Behemoth albums.

  • so every pick on here is really, really good (even @fkaosalucard:disqus’s silly non-metal). i haven’t heard of most of them, so thanks for the homework, guys!
    oh yeah, @ignatiusthewizened:disqus wins this one, which is saying a lot since i’m passing on one of Bloodbath’s greatest riffs.

  • Good selections this week from band’s I never heard – Thanatos, Ephel Dueth, Turid North and Kayleth. Going with Kayleth, I’m in the mood for some quality stoner rock and it’s doing the job.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      You never heard of Thanatos?

      • same here. we can’t ALL be Finns!

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          Members of Hail of Bullets and Asphyx hail from it and they are not unknown. I kinda expect people to know them by name at least 😛

      • I’m really out of touch with death metal bands for the past few years. Everything I hear is either way over produced or too weedily deedily.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          But… but… they’re legends *Bawls*

      • The Fish Boz

        Me neither, Bear. Suck it up.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          I’m living in a cuckooland!

    • d00d i don’t even like doom/sludge, but i’m digging Kyletha!

      • KJM

        Not liking Doom/Sludge, that’s a paddlin’.

  • Lacertilinger

    Ron wins the lizard vote this week.

  • Hotdog Clifford

    Nice choice, Shrimp, you get my vote.

  • KJM

    I will vote for Bloodbath as a gesture of goodwill toward the submitter.

  • Dear Lizard:

    I didn’t. I DIDN’T.

    • Lacertilinger

      You just skipped to 1:00?
      That’s ok.

      • i broke the rules too. friendship over.

        • Lacertilinger

          Rules, they were merely instructions for better life experience.

  • Vladimir Poutine

    Couldn’t resist the offering of our favorite Shrimp. Whenever “Conquer All” pops up on my Pandora at work I get an immediate desire to [joyfully] start flipping desks over and wreck shit.

  • Alucard, Fuckmothering Vampire

    Ron wins. Riffs like that get me every time.

  • old_man_doom

    Srsly, guise, listen to the whole Turbid North album. I BESEECH YOU!

    They also made one of the dankest tour announcements I’ve ever seen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwPx3pEs_tA

  • Atomic Wedgie Massacre
  • JamesGrimm
  • The Fish Boz

    Tertius got me vote, barely edging out tha masterlord.

  • Howard Dean

    Voted Masterlord cuz that early Gorgoroth riffage is the tits.

  • KJM
    • Kevin Nash & Friends

      What did I just witness?

      • Maik Bozinton™

        The dankest pingu ever.

        • Kevin Nash & Friends

          That was insanely dank.

        • KJM

          So dank that my speakers ooze resin.

          • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

            So dank that Dopethrone and Willie Nelson got black lung from it.

          • KJM

            Even Snoop said “nah dude, I’ve had enough” after that.

  • Ted ‘Toth’ Nü-Djent ™

    No love for Brutal Truth?

    • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

      Eh, they’re decent.

      • Ted ‘Toth’ Nü-Djent ™

        As indicated by my votes

    • Lacertilinger

      They were in my final 5.
      Sorry dude, Abominable Iron Sloth gets me everytime

  • KJM
  • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

    Damn, I should’ve submitted this one.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMvqMHST2Is

  • john

    Also, I just noticed the guy in Thanatos on the far left is Jaqen H’ghar. Does Thanatos serve the Many-Faced God? A man wonders.

    http://xoxoafterdark.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/jaqenhghar.png

  • and to think @joethrashnkill:disqus is missing all these shenanigans with his “gone drankin'” attitude…

  • Dan Wolfson

    Dammit, I sent mine to the whiff email I think!