Riff ov the Week: 9-5-15


Last week was fucked.

Votes for my Spliff ov the Week pick (Creed‘s “Higher”) took an early lead until W.’s nominee (“Spacegrass” by Clutch) crept up from behind. Creed’s votes skyrocketed in response, until it was sitting on 64(!). My suspicion regarding the culprit? Scott Stapp him-fucking-self. He lost despite his admirable efforts when Clutch climbed up to 115 votes. I think the incorporeal force of Justice and Truth is responsible for most of them. Scott wept (Creed 11:35).



Next week:

  • Here’s one from Master Joe. We will only be accepting riffs from South American bands. Granizo Satanás.
  • Send your South American riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your name, a link to the song, the time of the riff, and an explanation.
  • If you have an idea for a theme, let me know.

Let’s get to it, then.



Greek perfection. Doesn’t get better than this. First riff.



1:16. This is some completely left field fret burning that even gets a savage BLEH. I’m so, so sorry Masterlord.



0:05 to 0:30 is the sound of space-time melting. Thanks, Mustache Bear.



This highly caffeinated expectoration from Amesoeurs conjures images of Voltron assembling itself from its disparate people-brained robot cats. 0:12 or 0:13. You pick.


Ted Nü-Djent

Black Breath have a new album due out on the 25th September and if the song that has been released is any indication you can expect as the YouTube description says: a “harder, bleaker Black Breath than ever before”. This song has nestled its way into my brain these past few days and the riff that goes from 3:28 until about the 4 minute mark is a major reason why.



Who can deny this classic riff from this classic song/album/band. [Bow to the “ugh!” — Masterlord]



So, I was told to check out Bolt Thrower. I never had. Now my skull is broken. The riff through this whole tune works.



The intro riff of this song (which repeats at 4:56 to introduce a nifty guitar solo) gets me ultrapumped whenever I hear it. The riff delivers the perfect combination of harmony and melody over a driving drumbeat that makes me want to thrash around like a lunatic between sets at the gym. The well-timed scream at about 0:38 signals the start of a truly badass, catchy, gore-saturated Impaled song.






Torn between choosing the riff at 0:37 or the intro riff. Does it really matter?




This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 06-09-2015 09:00:00
Poll Results:
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  • KJM

    Old man iz old. Votin’ fer Dave.

  • JJM

    guy in featured image: “okay see if you can name this tune.. ‘How many special people change, how many lives are living strange’…”

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Where were you while we were getting high?

      • The Satan Ov Hell

        Walking slowly down the hall, faster than a cannonball

  • MoshOff

    Note to self: listen to Timeghoul more often.

  • Super Nintendo Chalmers

    Between Timeghoul and classic Metallica.


  • Mxxk Bxnxntxn™

    Vote for Joe, haters gonna hate.

    • JJM

      Joe’s currently in 2nd place. Oh the wizardry of George Clarke!

      • Maik Beninton™

        I like the idea of Deafheaven being in front of Celtic Frost.

        • JJM

          Which band is more kvlt? Its a toss-up!

  • Napolean Bonerfart

    As much as I lervs me some Rotting Christ, had to go with Dave on this one. Ugh!


  • To vote Waynecro, or not to vote Waynecro (i.e. Lacertillllllian) . . .

    That is the question.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Yeah, I’m really weighing on a Lacertillian vote.

      • CT-12

        Yo dude, off topic, but have you heard of Great Falls? Great band from Seattle, real noisy and gnarly, has a early mathcore vibe of Botch or something (if you dig that at all). Either way, definitely avant sounding, thought you might appreciate being made aware of their existence. Just preordered their new album since all tracks I’ve heard from it sound a lot better than most of their past stuff to me. https://initrecords.bandcamp.com/album/the-fever-shed

        • Vote for Jeb

          I have heard of this band. Rad stuff.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            The track on the Bandcamp is very Botch-esque.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          Thanks for the heads up! I’m a big fan of Botch. They were one of the first extreme metal bands I really loved (a long time ago) and the first article I wrote for this site was a Botch article.

          I’m gonna put this on now for a few.

          • CT-12

            Hell yeah!

      • Lacertilian

        More people need to hear that album. @tyreegearhart:disqus got me onto them a while back and I can’t stop listening. Probably my fave Icelandic band, just ahead of Mispyrming and Svartidauƌi.

    • That Amesoeurs record rules so hard

      • This is the first thing you’ve ever said that is not a ribald lie.

        • Ribald? Please. I totally touched a boob once. Like for reals reals.


            The new novella from Joe Thashnstuff, New York Times Best Selling author of the shorts collection JUST LET ME SNIFF IT, GIRL.

          • Napolean Bonerfart

            And the best selling author of Comode Confidential, Wuthering Shites, and 100 Years Of Sloppy Poo.

          • Napolean Bonerfart
  • Choosing between Sinmara and the Frost is rough.

    • Lacertilian

      Do what you must Helmet Head, the Lizard will harbour no grudge on this day.

      • JJM

        how were you supposed to know you were going against the almighty Deafheavens?

        • Lacertilian

          Once I scrolled down and saw Bolt Thrower, my head hung low. I thought they were banned.
          Truth be told, because I came in late I didn’t even bother voting.

  • Napolean Bonerfart

    In other news, just found out Frosttide released a new one in June. Holy fuck, this CD is leaving hot, moist and satisfied! Sounds like a cross between Wintersun and Equilibrium. *grabs loincloth and sword, oils up and charges into battle*


  • Stanley

    Rotting Christ or the Frosties?

    • KJM

      Frosties, DO EET.

      • Stanley


        • KJM


        • Wow dick.

          • Stanley

            When you submit a ROTW, you have to sit patiently watching all the incoming comments to take advantage of uncertain voters. You, sir, are lazy and done goofed!

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Damn you time zone! I totally was able to secure a vote that way once though. It got me the win too.

      • more beer

        Strong arming Stanley for his vote.

  • The Satan Ov Hell

    I can never not vote bolt thrower

  • Stockhausen

    I vote Ted.

    Ted Toth


    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Thanks bae

    • Lacertilian

      Yet again this has come in handy.

      • Stockhausen

        Perfect. Ted is always there, in the sense that he is never there.

  • 365chaosriddendays

    My vote goes to Ted Nü-Djent, that song is higly infectious!

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Thankyou Mr 3-6-5

  • JWEG

    I only know South American bands from our South American community friends.

    Also Sepultura and Sarcofago. I feel both will be repeatedly covered, though.

    • Napolean Bonerfart

      Definitely missing out! Angra, Tierramystica, Aquaria, Novalotus, Rata Blanca, Atomicide, Hibria, Shamaan, Andre Matos, Dr. Sin, Viper, Resplandor, the list goes on and on.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    Many good riffs, Rotting Christ I wanted to vote for, I really did. But in the end ’twas a more surprising cut that ended up as my choice.

    • You blew it!

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        I tried! But the smell of 2000 year old rot hurt my nostrils so much.

      • Zeke

        What album is that song from?

        • The Rotting Christ one? Thy Mighty Contract.

          • Zeke

            Really?! I’ve had that album for probably 15-20 years and I haven’t listened to it in a really long time. I’ll have to revisit it.

          • Revisit it a million times.

  • Scrimm

    How can I vote against Bolt Thrower? Sorry Ted, Black Breath kicks a ton of ass.

    • tigeraid

      So when I post my beloved power metal, I get crickets. I post old death metal I barely know, I get votes.

      I have found the level of the room.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        That’s pretty much how this thing works

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      This prejudice will not stand

      • Scrimm

        Dude cmon I couldnt help it.

  • JJM
  • JamesGrimm

    Impaled FTW.

  • IronLawnmower

    Celtic Frost win by default

  • JamesGrimm
  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Here’s a bit of self promotion: I have a new album out of the final recordings I made under my Mr. In Your House 4. It’s much different than my other recordings and apparently one of the songs sounds like The Body.


  • P4T4R

    Damnit, I have a hard time getting into black metal. I just luhh me some tech death so much that I miss the clear and precise production.

    • Lacertilian

      Try that Sinmara, the production is clear without sounding like plastic and at the same time it’s dirty without sounding lo-fi.

      • P4T4R

        Righteous, I’ll check them out. Thanks for the recommendation!

        • Vote for Jeb

          You could also try Keep of Kalessin. Very technically precise, but Kolossus was definitely still rooted in black metal.

  • Dagon

    GORAK WIN!!!