Riff ov the Week: 5 / 2 / 2015

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That’s my new dog. This has no relevance to Riff ov the Week. I’m just excited. 

Last weekRon Deuce took home the nonexistent trophy for the most absurdly specific ROTW ever with classic Suffocation. It wasn’t even close. The competition was trounced. Trounced, I say! Well done, Ronnie boy. Have a beer on me. You’ll still have to pay for it because I just spent all my money on dog things. I meant you can sit on my lap while you drink it, if you wish.

ddsdss

Next week:

  • Someone suggested this – and I like it. It’s weird that we haven’t done this yet. Next week, we will only be taking tremolo-picked riffs. If you don’t know what tremolo-picking is, listen to more black metal. Or use Google/Wikipedia – “Alternate picking is a guitar playing technique that employs strictly alternating downward and upward picking strokes in a continuous run, and is the most common method of plectrum playing. If this technique is performed on a single note at a high speed, then it may also be referred to as tremolo picking.”
  • Send your tremolo riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your Disqus handle, a link, the time of the riff, and an explanation.
  • If you have an idea for a theme, let me know, yo.
  • Let’s get to the riffin’!

 

Masterlord

The hefty, stomping riffs on “Mouth of Madness” might seem a wee bit out of place on Tsjuder’s Desert Northern Hell, but shit, I don’t know that I’d want to live without them. When the perfectly-utilized, Tom G. Warrior-inspired “hugh!” kicks the first riff into gear, I sometimes wonder how wrong it might be that I’m so sexually aroused by a passage of music.

 

W.

I heard you like riffz. There’s a riff here at 1:33. It’s a good riff. Vote for this riff, please.

 

Richter

Doom/death metal played in a sunny major key with woodwinds playing the leads? Yes please. The ultimate iteration of the riff with what I believe is an alto sax on lead starts at 4:45, leading into the most bonkers woodwind solo you’re likely to hear in a metal song. (For a view into how the riff is first presented and developed, see 3:16, where a few dryer bars of guitar are eventually accented by synth vibes or synth steel drums or some amalgam of the two(???).

 

Formerly Known as Oli Sykes

Despite my liking for it, Metalcore rarely has masterful riffage. But when it does, oh my god it is tasty. Riff starts at the very beginning, definitely give it a chance. It’s techy without coming across as wanky.

 

Vegglampe

I can imagine that The Safety Fire may not being the most liked band in this neck of the woods, but the riff at 3:39 is an absolute joy to both listen to and play. Look past your inner brütal self and indulge in something fun and stupid.

 

Lacertilian

This riff is my offering to the overlords ov the latrine this week.

 

Iron Lawnmower

Riff starts at about 1:20 kicks ass until there is no more ass to kick.

 

Hotdog Clifford

I was a little late to the party with this album but I just bought it today on Bandcamp and this riff really caught my ear. It starts at about 2:46 but goes full blast at 3:08 and continues to the end.

 

Howard Dean

There’s been a lot of Terlet love for the almighty High on Fire, and for good reason. Matt Pike is like everyone’s awesome/crazy uncle – but he also happens to be one of the best heavy metal riff writers in history. This riff in “10,000 Years” is High on Fire’s greatest riff, and one of the heaviest fucking riffs ever forged. I chose the version of the song from the s/t EP because it is heavier and meaner than the album version. I want this riff played at my execution. Starts at 5:49.

 

Slambulance

It behooves you to listen to the whole song, but the riff initially pops off at the 0:40 mark after a nice little roomy intro, then continues to fly in and out through the entirety of the track. This leads to a nasty variation of the noted riff that occurs around 1:15. Each lick slaughters the listener’s control of their neck, sending the poor bastard into a frenzy of whirling. The simplicity; the grime; the blvkkness; the void. All of this compiles into a scrunched blend of violent, tremolo fury. As a great man once spoke, windmill your fucking cocks.

 

Jack Bauer

This is a riff that my just be my favorite riff of all time. If I don’t headbang when this song comes on… well, you know what? That has never happened. Iron Reagan know how to craft tasty-as-fuck riffs, and this song is no exception. It starts pretty much immediately. BLAST IT.

 

Dagon

Riff starts at 2:21.

 

Zeke

In honor of Max’s great article, I present…. a badass riff from that Illud Anus album.  1:43-2:15.

 

Nordling Rites ov Karhu

It’s Vektor for Krevessakes. Dat riff at 2:40 is taste-y.

 

Ron Deuce

When you’ve got a good riff, don’t just play that shit once. Play it often and beat people over the head with it. The Drip trades off between blast beats and the riff that starts at 0:18 on “Lash In, Lash Out”. Even though it’s a simple, it’s played with a ton of energy and makes a cracka wanna start punchin’ holes in the sheetrock.

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 03-05-2015 09:00:00
Poll Results:
Who...
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  • Jack Bauer picks a riff that I might vote for? The list of things I’ve heard now contains everything.

    • Maik Beninton

      Hey Masterlord how about we do a riff edition of collabs/supergroups?

      • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

        Down wins automatically.

  • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

    Ahhhh it’s good to be back here. Been so busy with moving into my house (coupled with the fact that there is no internet there yet) that I have had no time to get on here. Also, that is a adorable doggy. I’m going to The Best Friends animal society adoption fair today after work and may be coming home with a new little furry buddy of my own.

  • B00mhauer

    Gruesome really hit the nail on the head in regards to capturing that Leprosy – era Death sound. Matt Harvey is a consummate purveyor of heavy metal riffs.

    • That sounds like it was written in 1991 in Florida, which fits my criteria for being good music. Way to go, W!

    • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

      Yep, it’s like Chuck is still among us and Control Denied (love ’em, and Pharaoh, btw) never happened.

    • Simon “Djentcrusher” Phoenix

      Indeed. Now if he would only make a new Dekapitator album.

      • B00mhauer

        LOVE that project. Bands like this are the product of a true love for extreme metal. ONE SHOT, ONE FUCKING KILL!

  • I know I’m the only one keeping track but I now have a victory on both riff and whiff ov the week while photochop still eludes me. Once the photochop victory has been acheived I will have completed the TovH triple crown.

    • Jormungandr

      You can do it, I believe in you!

      • I think I’m just going to put a pic of Chris Hansen in the next one and I’ll have it locked down.

    • J.R.

      The current Photochop contenders are neck and neck. It is a pretty tight race.
      On an unrelated note, is it bad form to upstab your own creation?

      • I haven’t done it personally and I think others follow the same unwritten rule generally.

      • JJD does stabs most of his own posts. so it’s fair game

    • JWG

      It’s not a triple crown without a Tag-Team championship.

    • MoshOff

      Shit I just realized I’ve won all three. Yay!

  • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

    You know like hell that Iron Lawnmower wasn’t getting my vote. Love ya, Mowy Baby, but you know Darkthrone is about as fun as a 20 lbs. kidney stone for me! Even though I still laugh my ass off whenever I hear a DT riff for some reason. My vote goes to our Leader Of Second Best America, W. From what I’ve listened to on that CD, it’s practically like Chuck Schuldiner is still amongst us and pumping out another ‘Leprosy’ or ‘Scream Bloody Gore’. Their tendies are already in the mail!

    • IronLawnmower

      🙁

      But the riffff

      • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

        Lol, everyone tied getting me into them a couple of weeks ago, and my best friend tried too (I’ll have to dig out the CD and try to post it, but his side project, Excursion, covered it). It’s still hilariously bad to me. Still love your usual picks though!

        • This is the only Darkthrone song I have ever liked. Probably because it doesn’t really sound like a Darkthrone song. Too melodic.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXh7gZFM9Q4

          • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

            Gah, it still sounds like it was recorded with all their gear stuffed with dirty sweat socks/underwear!

          • Yeah, but the song buried under all that fourtrack hiss is actually a very rad tune. Too bad it is impossible to BLAST it.

          • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

            Even then, the guitar riffs actually make me laugh, in a lolbuttz kinda way. Love ya guys and gals, but Darkthrone is the metal version of Vanessa Black or IceJJfish.

          • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

            To each their own! If I can find my best friend’s cover of it, I’ll post it. It’s still lollbuttz. Here’s his main band’s stuff in the meantime.

            http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=483179

        • IronLawnmower

          *black metal screech*

  • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

    This week was pretty boring for the first half, and then High on Fire came. And then Marduk came, and then Iron Reagan came, and then Kyuss came, and Indecision was all I had left.

    • Jormungandr

      And then I came.

      • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

        You come when shrimps are undecided?

        • Jormungandr

          They get this look on their face that really does it for me. I’m a weird guy.

          • lol

          • Dagon

            Can we feature entire exchanges or just single comments?

          • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

            Might as well just feature the single comment, that will fuck with people even more.

  • Sir Tapir the Based™

    That’s a darn cute doggie.

    • BLOODBEARDE

      You’re a darn cute doggie

      • Sir Tapir the Based™

        Kiitos, kulta pieni.

    • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

      It’s about time we try to crossbreed a tapir and a dog!

      • Sir Tapir the Based™

        I’m not interested.

        • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

          What other species would Tapirs breed with? Besides Norwegians?

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Tapirs reproduce asexually.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Like me.

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            I do like you.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            *passes folded-up note*

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            *opens it*
            *sees dickbutt*
            *laughs heartily*

          • CyberneticOrganism
          • J.R.

            They bud like some kind of fungus?
            Makes sense, actually.

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Fission is our way.

          • Lacertilian

            Fungi do both asexual & sexual. They can also do vegetative division.
            Bastards.

  • Vladimir Poutine

    Iron Reagan. Case closed.

    Also, that dog.

    • Zeke

      I never heard them before. Case closed is right!

      • Vladimir Poutine

        The Tyranny of Will set up shop in my car stereo for a good three months. So many riffs.

  • Scrimm

    Still wish my pick had made it in last week. I don’t know who to pick from this list.

  • Spear

    Safety Fire gets my vote. That riff really is a ton of fun to play.

  • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

    That Vektor riff was epic. It gets my vote. On the other hand I cannot pick Zeke’s riff because that album will never get my love.

    • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

      #BiasedRiffOvTheWeek

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        It’s not biased because there was a ton of other riffs I enjoyed. I just didn’t enjoy the Illud Divinum Insanus riff.

        • Zeke

          I knew I was doomed to lose this week, but I like that riff anyway. Like the sound of a robot going berserk because it was forced to listen to that kill-a-cop song.

          • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

            I hate that kill a cop song so much.

          • Zeke

            Yeah, it might be up there with the worst songs I’ve ever heard

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            I hate it too. I accidentally killed a cop while listening to it.

          • 1,000,000x worse than Fuck Tha Police

  • Oli Fucking Sykes, Son.

    Dean’s pick = boner activated.

  • Dagon

    The TovH provoked strange changes in my life. I showed @masterlordsteeldragon:disqus ‘s new dog to my dog-loving sister and said “look at this dog my friend just got.”.

    She then asked me where was this friend from, in the sense of “do you know him from school (…)” and I replied “Utah”.

  • Dagon

    The real question this week is if Richter is perhaps Christian disguised. Only a weirdo like him would submit maudlin of the Well.

  • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

    PS, the puppy dogy is adorable! Alot more adorable than our stinky ass cat, lol.

  • @masterlordsteeldragon:disqus takes it home (and no bias towards that doge)… holy fvck that doge! <3

  • Sir Tapir the Based™

    Richter chose da best riff. I luv u bby.

  • Someone give me an example of a tremolo riff, I like a grand total of 1 black metal band so I need a frame of reference.

    • Zeke

      The riff that starts at 4:05 of The Invoking from Pierced From Within. If you submit that you may win with Suffo twice in one month.

      • Thanks, just need an example. You should use it, I don’t want to double dip. I should be able to find something, just didn’t want to get disqualified.

    • Stanley

      Here’s a nice major key riff for you to get the idea. Starts at 0:19.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnInlCAovwE&spfreload=10

  • Simon “Djentcrusher” Phoenix

    As much as I wanted to vote for Clifford (cause Horrendous ), that is not the best riff on that album or even that song.

    I had to go with Dubs, though it was quite painful choosing between High on Fire, Vektor, Sewercide, and that Tsjuder track.

  • Poseur Diposeur

    I like this Dagon guy repping the Kyuss

  • Can’t deicide between Vektorbeargod and gWuesome. Help!

    • Sir Tapir the Based™

      Vektor was chosen by Beargod, so you should not vote for it. Never vote for Beargod.

      • *Votes for beargod*

        • Sir Tapir the Based™

          I don’t care about you, you don’t dig Leprous.

          • On the contrary I do. I just had to be in the correct mood it seems.

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Do you still like Archspire?

          • Archspiring intensifies

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Then I don’t care about you.

          • Typical loofah

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            I’d rather be a loofah than like Poopspire.

          • That just means you have to clean up the poop

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            I may or may not be a coprophile.

          • Coprotapir*

    • CyberneticOrganism
      • The Toilet IS THE PARTY.

        (Stop rubbing this scene in my face–it was very traumatic. I mean I didn’t really give two shits about my right arm, I wasn’t using it anyway, but Lefty . . . damn I miss lefty . . . *sniff sniff*)

        • CyberneticOrganism

          After I saved Mars, I went down and found your arms. They’re hanging above my bed.

  • Akerskronks ov Steele

    I do like High on fire, and I do like 10,000 Years. Hmmmmmm looks like it’s Dean for Merol.

  • Stanley

    I’m enjoying a lot of this week’s picks.

    Ip Dip Dog Shit, You Stepped In It. Masterlord!

    • Wait does this mean I win?

      • Stanley

        It does in fact mean that you are Champion the Wonder Horse although it looks like HD and JB might have something to say about that.

  • CyberneticOrganism
    • Vladimir Poutine

      Satan: the default answer to all of life’s questions.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        It’s the rimshot of metal.

  • Maik Beninton

    Next thing we do is chug riffs.
    Anyway, I voted for Slambulance.

  • OldMetalHead

    Hmm. High on Fire or Iron Reagan? Neither, damn it. Kyuss gets the vote!

  • Mother Shabubu III

    Dag on, Dagon. Kyuss fo life niqqa.

    PS: Handed in my riff for next week.

    • Sir Tapir the Based™

      Is it a dank riff?

      • Mother Shabubu III

        dank like a love dungeon.

        • Sir Tapir the Based™

          Dank like Josef Fritzl’s basement

          • Mother Shabubu III

            Uh, maybe not that dank.

            Dank like an ass-cave.

  • The Beargod

    That maudlin of the well song is excellent, unfortunately the riff is not the riff you should have chosen from that particular song to get my vote.
    Huge Hammers is most likely the only Safety Fire song I dig (I’ve been trying to remember it’s name for some time, thanks)
    Many other equally as awesome riffs at display as well. One of the strongest batches in a while. I think I’m legally obliged to vote for 10,000 Years though.

    • Incorrect. I chose the riff I should have chosen, which is coincidentally the riff you should have voted for. You, sir, fucked up royally.

      (I voted for you by the way. Wish I could take it back.)

      • The Beargod

        The previous incarnation of this riff was more powerful me thinks. This incarnation I would have voted for.

        • No. The incarnation I selected has badass deathmetal speedriffing, which adds amazing texture and panache. Change your mind so that your thoughts and beliefs are identical to mine.

          • The Beargod

            NEVER! ONLY MY OPINION IS REAL!

      • Sir Tapir the Based™

        Don’t listen to him, he sucks.

        • The Beargod

          …and blows, at the same time.

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Oh you sexual beast you!

    • Lacertilian

      I think the same about that Vektor riff, they got soo many to choose from.

      • The Beargod

        I like it (obvs) but I think Vektor’s been chosen many times. I was trying to find a good riff that haf nit been used before.

        • Lacertilian

          Fair, but….
          NI

        • Sir Tapir the Based™

          Vektor is overrated.

          • Lacertilian

            Tapirs are unrated

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Tapirs are hate, Tapirs are death.

          • Lacertilian

            Also, no mention of my name drop in this week’s Get Prep’d?

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Huh, it seems that I may have missed that one. Brb.

          • Lacertilian

            Take it as either: a subtle rustle or a slight head nod.

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            I shall take it as a reference to my godlike superiority over you vermin.

          • Lacertilian

            pfft..godlike?
            So you’re unrated and unproven now..not looking good for you

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Welp, someone just ordered a train ticket to hell. The train leaves from the station 666.

          • Lacertilian

            Sounds like a pretty metal train

          • The Beargod

            Haven’t run to very many fans IRL and the ones I know are blig-lurkers with no life. So idk bout that.

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            God fucking dammit! You idiot! That’s not your line!

          • The Beargod

            It is now.

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            You were supposd to say “fite me feg. WORLDSTAR BITCH. Check my mixtape after the fight, it’s fire, fam.”

          • The Beargod

            I can still fite ye doe.

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Bring it on Billy! Imma deck you in the schnoz.

  • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

    For those who don’t have Facebook, our bastions of bro, Five Finger Fist Punch, might be breaking up.

    http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/five-finger-death-punchs-onstage-meltdown-fuels-rumors-of-internal-strife/

    • CyberneticOrganism

      NOOOOOOOO BRO!!!!! *slams sympathy beer*

      • JamesGrimm

        brah.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          bro 🙁

      • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

        Bro, my place for some oil wrestling and Bud Light, and no homo!

    • Sir Tapir the Based™

      Maybe there is a god?

      • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

        Nope. Tapir >>>>>>>>>>>> God

        • Sir Tapir the Based™

          Thank you Kim. You have now joined the Cult of Tapir. Your cyanide laced Kool-Aid will be with you shortly.

          • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

            Huh? We do not have that here in Best Korea! Best Korea would love you as a vice president though!

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Doesn’t have to be Kool-Aid. You can lace many things with cyanide. It really gives the drink flavour.

          • how bout cyanide laced pants?

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Could work.

          • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

            Or a cyanide laced jock strap.

        • Tapir >>>>>>>>>>> everyone

  • JWG

    Just getting this out there a week early then, my vote next week will go to the first tremolo-riff I read that’s *not* black metal.

    …Unless the second one is better.

    • Maik Beninton

      Oh boy I gonna get a vote.

    • Lacertilian

      I just tried to find an Origin riff but it appears to have been removed from YouTube for too much beasting.

  • JWG

    Also also: Is it just me, or does anyone else think of “Jack Be Nimble” immediately when those vocals in Iron Reagan come in? It’s all in the meter/delivery.

    The Riff is a winner, though. Voted.

  • tertius_decimus

    My vote goes to Nordling Rites ov Karhu. Vektor is rare-of-a-kind band who still plays raw technical thrash metal in “right” way (whatever dat means, I’m too lazy to elaborate tonight).

  • Lacertilian

    Damnit, mine was supposed to be time stamped at 1:47

    https://youtu.be/m2_QniQf5jQ?t=1m47s

  • Voting for Dubya. God, that album is a fucking masterpiece.

  • Dean the P.I. Staker

    That Tsjuder riff is real choice. Byah! Desert Northern Hell is one helluva album. Underrated band. Nice pick!

    This was a solid week. Well done, sirs.

  • BLOODBEARDE

    Contender for Power Metal AOTY, alongside Blind Guardian. This album is great.

    https://youtu.be/VvUeqRwWorM

    • Call the Slambulance

      Lol I don’t know if you caught the post in the Facebook group, but these dudes are doing a signing at my store, so I’ll probably get to hang with them for a while.

    • Call the Slambulance

      Also, it’s really weird that a 25 year old power metal band is embracing a djent-y sound.

      • BLOODBEARDE

        The album isn’t really djenty. Just some of the riffs in that song maybe. Id like to think its going back to the heavier Epica or Karma days, which is a good thing.

    • KJU’s Penis Pump Of Doom

      Not bad. The singer is definitely Roy Kahn part 2.

      • BLOODBEARDE

        Yeah, to the casual listener, I’d say it would be hard to hear the subtle differences. He doesn’t quite have the power of Khan, but its definitely not bad.

    • Sir Tapir the Based™

      This is not a good.

      • BLOODBEARDE

        Your wrong opinions on power are noted, yet again, untrve tapir

      • This sounds like a flush.

        • Sir Tapir the Based™

          It indeed is a flush.

  • Óðhinn
  • Sir_William_Whalus

    Rub a glub blub, that’s a good choice, Dub.