Riff ov the Week: 11-7-15

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awesome guitarist music player jumps with passion in studio

Gather ’round, friends. Boy, oh boy do we have a hot little batch of riffs for you today. And I do mean little, because only a few of you big dumb buttheads sent riffs in this week. What gives? Dare ye turn your backs on the riff?

Last week, Ted Nü-Djent won your hearts with Mr. Mutoid or whatever.  This week… it’s anyone’s game. And by anyone I mean one of six people, because — let me reiterate — only six of you dumb buttheads sent riffs in this week. Awesome guitarist music player jumping with passion in the studio would be disappointed in you.

Next week:

  • It’s getting cold, so send your iciest riffs. It better be grim, frostbitten, or — if you think you can fucking hack it — both. Coldest riff wins (hint: black metal).
  • Send your riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your name, a link to the riff, the time of the riff, and a short explanation.
  • If you have an idea for a theme, do tell.

 

Masterlord

Riff starts at the beginning. Bow to Sadus.

 

McNulty

I was thinking of a good riff whilst chatting with more beer and it hit me: Immolation! Their 2010 release Majesty and Decay was in heavy rotation for me before I even knew what skronk was; I just loved the hell out of those riffs. “The Purge” doesn’t waste any time melting your face, riff starts when you hit play.

 

Akercocke ov Steele

A brief reprise from Mr. Scheidt’s usual 20 minute lessons in DOOM, this sweet little jam just goes to show ya that YOB are not adverse to just saying “let’s boogie,” and at 2:58 you just can’t help but say “dayuum!” Personally I hope we get more little rocking detours such as this on future YOB releases.

 

Dr. Derelict

Infernal War lays waste to everything for three and three quarter minutes. Closing riff @ 2:37.

 

Boss the Ross

Gather my Army of Immortals, under The Sign of the Hammer Into Glory we shall Ride. Take The Oath of the Warlord on our March For Revenge, to Kill With Power and spill the Blood Of Our Enemies with The Secret of Steel. Fighting The World with Gloves Of Metal we will spread Violence and Bloodshed from England (Hail!) To The Gates of Valhalla. We shall Carry On as Defenders so that we may pay tribute to the Kings of Metal and a true Death Tone that will Blow Your Speakers and leave you in a Metal Daze. I present before you the greatest Battle Hymn of all, HAIL AND KILL! (2:00 – 2:20).

 

Waynecro

I’ve had the riff that starts at about 0:16 stuck in my head since 1998.

 

Ted Nü-Djent

The riff at about 5:57 isn’t particularly original but the band collectively nail it on execution. Particularly with the drum beat at around 6:15 and again so at about 6:32. This song rocks my baalsack. Thanks to the lizard for the rec, if I win this week you shall share in my spoils.

 

_________________________

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 08-11-2015 09:00:00
Poll Results:
Choose ye.
  • Firstly “Fist’N” Firsterson

    RIFF OV THE RETURN OF FIRSTLY FIRSTERSON!

    • Vote for Jeb

      FIRSTLY

      • Firstly “Fist’N” Firsterson

        FIRSTLY ENTHUSIASTICALLY RECOMMENDS SETTING THE COMMENT FILTER TO ‘OLDEST’

        • CyberneticOrganism

          *fists*

  • CyberneticOrganism

    No Manowar

    • Eliza

      Why?

    • Leave the hall, robit!

    • ME GORAK B.C.™
    • Boss the Ross

      McNulty made me do it…

      “Jimmy McNulty Boss the Ross
      7 days ago
      The chorus must involve hailing and/or killing”

      • more beer

        That album does nothing but hail and kill.

        • Boss the Ross

          I dont care how much shit Manowar gets, there first 6 albums are solid works of metal.

          • more beer

            For me it is the first four. But those are solid. After that it got a little to silly for me.

          • Boss the Ross

            I can live with that

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            BLIND GUARDIAN LOTS FUN!!!!!!!!!!

            #CLUBSMASHOVAPPROVAL

          • Boss the Ross

            Excellent to hear!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Dio, Maiden, & Queensryche are pretty much the closest I get to Power Metal.

          • more beer

            Those 4 are it for me as far as power metal goes.

          • School Of Hard Plops

            Not even Running Wild or Savatage?!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Nah, but I’ve seen Savatage and they were decent.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Savatage is awesome.

      • yours included both!

        • Boss the Ross

          Just trying my best.

    • Boss the Ross

      And why no Manowar?

      • Based Potoo

        Because Manowar is terrible.

        • EsusMoose

          I don’t know what a Potoo is but it shall be slain with steel!

          • Based Potoo

            I am immune to steel.

          • EsusMoose

            Then discount iron will have to do

          • Boss the Ross

            This is one of my favorite comments.

          • School Of Hard Plops

            But not against Manowar’s plastic prop swords!

          • Boss the Ross

            With steel!

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            BLACK WIND FIRE & STEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • Boss the Ross

            Leather, Metal, Spikes… AND CHAINS!

          • School Of Hard Plops
          • Boss the Ross

            Also acceptable!

          • School Of Hard Plops

            *tosses our boiling hot, unused baby oil on it*

            http://i.imgur.com/aneAc9x.gif

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Just being difficult lolz

        • Boss the Ross

          Fair enough! Hail Robot!

    • EsusMoose

      Guess it’s time to take my shirt off, oil myself up, get my battle axe and put on my armored loincloth because I must slay a certain evil robot

      • Boss the Ross

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      This is where Randall swoopz in

      • Boss the Ross

        I’m waiting for more back up…

        • School Of Hard Plops

          I voted for ya. *gets my baby lotion, loin cloth and prop sword ready*

    • Óðinn

      No Manowar.

      • Boss the Ross

        You too? Aw man.

        • Óðinn

          Sorry, Boss the Ross.

          • Boss the Ross

            It’s okay.

    • Maik Beninton™

      You are doing it wrong, when you say no to something you have to say it in all caps.

    • School Of Hard Plops
  • Eliza

    So many good songs! I love all of them besides the Manowar one. That one I just moderately enjoy.

    • EsusMoose

      Manowar>>>>Non-Manowar

      • Eliza

        That is pretty obvious.

      • Based Potoo

        Real corgis hate Manowar. You’re no corgi.

        • EsusMoose

          Real Corgis don’t hate anything, but leashes, fake bacon and the Voice.

          • Based Potoo

            I have two real corgis. They very much hate Manowar. All corgis hate Manowar.

          • EsusMoose

            I had one and he was indifferent to it as he was towards all non-food things

          • Waynecro

            My doxle seems to dislike Manowar as well (I think it’s the vocals he dislikes). Interesting fact: My doxle was attacked by a lady corgi at a dog park once. He was been wary of them ever since. He also finds their general flatulence tiresome.

          • Based Potoo

            My corgis rarely if ever fart

          • Waynecro

            You’re very fortunate. Corgis tend to have gas problems.

          • more beer

            They are just overpowered by his own flatulence.

          • Waynecro

            I wasn’t aware of the flatulence of potoos.

          • more beer

            You`ve read his comments. Need I say more?

          • Waynecro

            Zing!

          • School Of Hard Plops
          • i bet they like Bolt Thrower

          • Based Potoo

            NO

          • killvps

            I want to have a corgie/animal named after a Mamowar reference.

          • Boss the Ross

            Name him Kill With Power.

  • ME GORAK B.C.™

    GORAK VOTE MCNULTY!!!!!!!!!!!!! IMMOLATION GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • more beer

    Glad I could help Mcnulty.

  • Scrimm

    Voted for Mcnulty. I feel a little sick.

    • more beer

      But Immolation.

      • Scrimm

        That album too

        • more beer

          yes.

  • BEARD-SPLITTER

    Im gonna give my vote to ol Wayne. It almost sounds like a Fear Factory riff tho. So, grain of salt.

    • Waynecro

      I’m such a sucker for Obsolete. So many awesome drunken memories tie to that album. One time, my idiot friends and I were buying smokes at a gas station in the middle of the night. My pal was driving his busted-ass Oldsmobile, which had a great sound system. Suddenly, one of my pals screamed, “Dude, those bitches in the convertible got no tops on!” We were in a beach town on a Friday night, so his claim wasn’t all that hard to believe. Of course, we initiated a high-speed pursuit of the vehicle. “Freedom or Fire” was blasting. Good times.

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        Ironically, i used to have an old clothtop Oldsmobile with 2 12s in it. I remember Obsolete could set off car alarms

        • Waynecro

          That’s awesome, man. Yeah, Obsolete is bassy as fuck. I dig pretty much every song on that album except “Cars.” Fuck that song. Eventually, my friend’s Oldsmobile died, and he started driving this beat-up old Volkswagen Vanagon. The sound system sucked, but you could pile more people into it.

  • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

    “What gives? Dare ye turn your backs on the riff?”

    I have a life outside of the Turlet ya know.

    …pff, who am I kidding? No I don’t.

    • Waynecro

      I often spend all week listening to my Zune on random to pick a riff for this–unless I already have a really great riff in mind that meets specific criteria set forth. Picking a good icy riff will be difficult; lots of people here are extremely well versed in black metal. This will require homework and therefore time. Having no life will come in handy this week.

      • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

        I submitted mine already.

        • Waynecro

          Goddamn, dude. You don’t fuck around!

          • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

            It won’t win though.

          • Waynecro

            You never know.

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            I know. Then again, it is a black metal band, so possibly…

          • Waynecro

            You have might have a shot if the song you picked isn’t by Cradle of Filth or Dimmu Borgir or something. Such bands aren’t TRVE enough for some.

      • “i submitted Deafheaven*”
        *pre-New Bermuda Deafheaven
        http://sofrep.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/hipster-hotties-13.jpg

        • Waynecro

          I don’t know how to feel about this. I like some Deafheaven (“Dream House” is pretty swell), but does it icy black metal?

          • i kid, i kid!

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I KNEW YOU WERE A KID! MY MAP IS ALMOST COMPLETE

          • Waynecro

            It’s OK, man. No need for shame. Deafheaven fans are now legal in most states.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    PSA: Herr and Herress Schmitty are Gods among Mortals, Giants among Midgets, Diamonds in the rough, and every other extreme superlative I can think of. All who disagree will be beaten into submission with Wiffle Ball bats and pelted with yak dung. Message ends.

    • Based Potoo

      Herr Schmitty seems like a cool guy for a human.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        He sent cookies to my place and they were a big hit so I asked for more and, since my Mom broke her wrist, he felt obliged to go above and beyond and sent 3 packages plus all kinds of other high end snacks.

        • BEARD-SPLITTER

          Spashul cookies?

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            No(not like that anyway), but I’m wondering about some of the smaller individual candies he sent.

  • Yeah, Waynecro gets my vote.

  • NefariousDude

    Immolation has my vote.

  • NefariousDude

    Last night I truly realized that death core is the opiate of the masses and that the most exiting part of seeing rings of Saturn live is their vocalist and hoping their samples get fucked up further incriminating their reputation as hacks

  • Based Potoo

    Dr. Derelict chose the kind of song I would vote, so I voted for it.

    • dr.derelict

      You’re alright, Potoo.

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        No he isnt.

        • Based Potoo

          You aren’t any better, to be fair.

    • Based Potoo cast the kind of vote I would cast. And I did. Feels neutral, man.

  • NefariousDude

    Also I literally started reading a book during after the burial. I need a real metal show to go to after that shit show. Faceless was ok…

  • Stanley

    Now I know where Rammstein got all their riffs. I’m not very familiar with Benediction but I can see how that riff can stay in your head for days/years.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Great band, great vocalist(s), great riffs. Make yourself familiar, please do.

    • Waynecro

      I’m not even joking about that riff being stuck in my head since the late ’90s. I heard the song on a local late-night metal radio show when that Benediction album came out. Then it was on Nuclear Blast’s Death Is Just the Beginning V compilation, and I put it on mix tapes for years after that. It pops into my head at least once a day, and I play it by accident whenever I try to write a chuggy riff.

      • Vote for Jeb

        Also kind of reminds me of this obscure Czech band called COLP that I don’t think ever went anywhere.

    • Vote for Jeb

      Did you see the $300 vinyl box set they’re selling? I like Rammstein, but not nearly that much.

      • Stanley

        Nope, I’ve not seen it. I can’t imagine ever paying that kind of dough for a box set. Actually, I don’t even own a box set of any description. They just reek of bands cashing in.

        • Vote for Jeb

          I bought an Opeth cd box-set years ago that had 4 or 5 of their albums. It was on sale, and it was actually cheaper for me to buy it that way than to buy the cds separately despite already owning one or two of the discs, but deals like that are rare.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Look for the Agalloch box set, last one i saw was 1200

            I think its only The Mantle

          • Vote for Jeb

            Jeeze.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Yeaah, its so dope tho. Id love to have it

          • killvps

            I’d love to get my hands on one of those.

          • School Of Hard Plops

            GAH!!!

          • killvps

            1200
            “GAH* intensifies!

          • School Of Hard Plops
          • killvps

            It would be difficult to choose between Law and Order and Agalloch. I’d totally pay monies for them both.

          • Boss the Ross

            Was it their first few albums? If so, i got that one as well. For a really good price.

          • School Of Hard Plops

            I really considered getting Alphaville’s 24 CD box set years back, but at $700 after shipping, no way. I ended up just downloading it for free, obviously.

    • School Of Hard Plops

      Rammstein got most of their riffs from Oomph!. That’s been known for quite a while.

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    Wow I won last week? I’m speechless

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    Wow I won last week? I’m speechless

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      ^_^

    • Stanley

      Hey, Ted. Did you win last week?

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Yes. But if this comment is sarcasm at my multiple attempts to post this gif, then I saw screw you man.

        • Stanley
  • Waynecro

    Ordinarily, I don’t like to reveal my vote; however, my fondness for Immolation is no secret. That song fucking slays. Infernal War and Temple of Baal are really good too, though.

    • EsusMoose

      I always like to defend my vote and insult others choices, it’s a mix of dominance and as a way to make me not question my terrible choices

      • Waynecro

        Sounds like a pretty good system.

        • EsusMoose

          Being defensive is only bad when they ask about the bodies then you gotta run

  • Lacertilian

    Came down to the Dr. Derelict or Ted E. Baal for me.

    Sorry Ted.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      You will not share in the spoils

  • Dr. Derelict. G’bye.

  • JWEG

    Today is the date of the 1st of the final two 3IOB shows, and i couldnt get over to Vancouver for the weekend to attend, so instead I am focused on 3IOB riffs and only those today.

    I would post a video, but the last time i tried i got lost in Youtube and only just remembered i was going to post here…

  • brokensnow

    By and far, Immolation.

  • Stanley

    I’m happy to see some Infernal War love in the Toilet.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9SFUWGvQV_M

  • School Of Hard Plops

    Had to go with Ross on this one!

  • tigeraid

    Manowar always wins. Because Manowar.

    I know literally one black metal album, by Dissection. I don’t think it’s very cold. So I’ll have to skip that one.

    • As long as it’s not Reinkaos, it’s cold as fuck.

      • tigeraid

        It’s Reinkaos. 🙁

    • Based Potoo

      You, my son, need a lot of Black Metal in your meaningless life!

      • tigeraid

        I’ve tried. It doesn’t work. I respect it but I just can’t handle it. The vocals, really.

        • Based Potoo

          U make me sad, son.

  • KJM, Shake Zula
  • School Of Hard Plops

    Wow, can’t even mention B-bymetal on here anymore, even as a joke? Simply typed in the name in a joking way, it was given a ‘waiting to be moderated’ notice, and taken down. Yeesh. Pissgrave pics are perfectly acceptable, but me mentioning you know who in a joking way who is wrong? Not getting my nutsack in a wad, but seems kinda dumb.

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      Its on the spam filter

      • School Of Hard Plops

        Which is moronic. And no, not saying that because I’m an oh so big fan (they’re decent at best, and always said that), but having that and Ta-o Bell on a spam filter is kinda ridiculous. Even TMZ’s mods haven’t gone that far…… yet.

        • more beer

          It is to protect the trve.

          • School Of Hard Plops

            From chocolate and kawaii.

          • more beer

            I’m ok with it. As both disgust me.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            T-Bell is the McDonald’s of “Mexican” food and BB-Metal is for kids.

          • more beer

            Neither belong here.

        • EsusMoose

          Too be fair a certain tex-mex fast food restaurant is also in the list.

        • Based Potoo

          A certain terrible 70s prog rock trio is also on the spam filter.

          • School Of Hard Plops

            Opeth is in the spam filter?

          • Based Potoo

            Opeth is good, not a trio and not from the 70s.

          • School Of Hard Plops

            Opeth are shit now, not a trio and play grandpa prog from the 70’s.

            FTFY

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            OPeth are great then, great now. Just great in general.

          • School Of Hard Plops

            Last two were pretty meh. Loved em to pieces up until then, and Mikael’s a super nice guy.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I like the last 2 over Watershed. I saw them live earlier this year. 2 of the highlights of the night were the songs they played off the last 2 albums.

          • Boss the Ross

            The evolution of their music is very interesting to look at, how they’ve gotten from Orchid to Pale Communion is certainly commendable. I, for one, very much enjoy their current direction as well.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Those pining for another death metal Opeth album would be the first to complain when it didn’t meet their expectations. I’d rather an honest prog Opeth then a death metal Opeth for the sake of meeting fan expectations

          • Boss the Ross

            Most certainly.
            Opeth need to make the music they feel like making, which has been the case throughout their career. At this point throwing together another death metal album would be, as you said, dishonest. They may have lost a number of fans with their transition, but at the same time they have gained a new fan base that will probably delve into their discography and discover more excellent music. And then there are the fans that just like it all.

          • i don’t remember anyone complaining when they were still doing death metal. some fans weren’t in love with Watershed, but most welcomed with open arms

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Loved Heritage, disliked Pale Communion.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Co-signed

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I eagerly await the day when Death and Black Metal are referred to as “Dad Rock”.

          • School Of Hard Plops

            When all the kids will be listening to *cringes in horror* gabbacore.

          • School Of Hard Plops

            Emerson, Lake And Palmer? Far from shitty! I can’t think of many prog rock trios from the 70’s. Rush?

          • Based Potoo

            Emerson Lake and Palmer indeed. At one point they were on the spam filter. What a terrible band.

          • School Of Hard Plops

            Fucking incredible band, in my not so humble and supremest opinion. How’d they end up on the filter, though?

          • Based Potoo

            Because JJD and I fought over them. He liked them (the wrong opinion) and I hate them (the right opinion). Only good song they’ve done was Lucky Man (mainly because it has very little Emerson in it). Everything else was shitty keyboard wankery by Emerson.

          • School Of Hard Plops

            I’m a sucker for keyboard wankery (and wanking off all over my keyboard, but that’s a whole other matter)! Probably why I like Deine Lakaien and Yelworc so much.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            From The Beginning is a better song than Lucky Man. Other than that I’ll pass, don’t own a single album by them(I don’t think).

    • Based Potoo
    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      I put this to the test. I gotta say that I approve of this course of action

      • School Of Hard Plops

        Looks like I’m gonna have to use copycats of them (and there’s more than enough out of them out there) instead, but the vagueness kinda takes away from the comedic punch.

        So when do we start adding Ghost to the spam filter?

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      My 2 Cents.
      BB-Metal are just fine for adults to enjoy with their grade school-age kids or even pre-teens who haven’t quite discovered the real stuff yet. Other than that? Nuh uh.
      I do think adding them to the spam filter is a bit much though. I don’t recall anything like the infamous T-Bell incident happening with BB-Metal.

      • Maik Beninton™

        What is the infamous T-Bell incident?

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          I forget the exact cause, but every thread ended up getting derailed by T-Bell nonsense so Joe said enough and made “T*co Bell” a forbidden phrase.

      • School Of Hard Plops

        I don’t think I was on here yet for the T-Berol Crisis, but I’ve heard many a tale about it.
        Eh, BB-Metal’s decent for what they are, and something I’ll break out on the headphones every great now and then if I need something simple and bouncy. There’s definitely better and more sophisticated J-Metal out there (Glaneryus, X Japan, and Dragon Guardian come to mind), but there a decent addition to the flock. I’ll agree with you too that nobody seems to have gone into all out arguing over them (unlike Blabbermouth articles on them), so yeah it’s kinda overboard. I can name at least a dozen bands off the top of my head where the arguments got more heated on here.

  • killvps

    1998 twas a great* year… thus means a great choice.

    • Vote for Jeb

      I know this feel.

  • School Of Hard Plops

    In other news, Sister Sin has called it quits. Wasn’t there a video breakdown of them on here a while back?

    http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/sister-sin-calls-it-quits/

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      My cousins band opened for them and Shattered Sun.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Sister Sin has broken up? I’m gonna cry

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Ted plz! I dont even like them!

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        That’s cool. A gig is a gig no matter who you’re opening for.

  • School Of Hard Plops

    LMAO, look at the opening paragraph of King 810’s Wikipedia page, second sentence!

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_810

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      Jabroni: Good enough for The Rock and The Iron Sheik? Good enough for me.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      “Also known as: Idiots”. Awesome.

      • School Of Hard Plops

        Gotta love “I could beat all those jabronis up”. Apparently, the word ‘jabroni’ survived past 2002.

      • School Of Hard Plops

        Goddamnit, Wikipedia actually took down the funny parts. *takes ball and goes home*

  • KJM, Shake Zula