Riff ov the Week: 11-28-15


Guitar player with attitude sticking his tongue out while playing his hard rock

His hard rock.

We at the Toilet ov Hell sincerely hope you all had a great Thanksgiving full of turkeys, pies, and the special kind of comfort that comes with desperately trying to convince yourself that there are good things about your life.

Last week, KJU destroyed you all because the band he picked posted the contest to their Facebook page. Some of you peed all up inside your pants and created little baby eye-waters of outrage. It’s fair game, dorks. Try to get your picks to share the contest. Anytime someone shares an article from this blog, Joe’s arms grow a centimeter in circumference and W. finds a killer sale on sweater vests.

Next week:

  • We’re doing a theme. I was pleasantly surprised at the somewhat positive reception of my Tokyo Blade pick last week, and have determined that we will only be accepting NWOBHM riffs next week. Here’s a catch – the album containing the riff must have been released before 1990. Get digging.
  • Send your NWOBHM riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your name, a link to the riff, the time of the riff, and an explanation.
  • If you have an idea for a theme, let me know.
  • Here we go, then.



Daaaaaamn, this one gets me every time. Absolutely crushing. Riff starts at around 0:30, but you really need to start from the beginning to experience it in all its lethal glory.



Gather round, kids. Join me in the Poser Corner. Poser Disclosure Time: I do not really care for Darkthrone. I can take them or leave them. By and large, their tunes are neither offensive nor the opposite to my ear. But there is one single solitary lonely Darkthrone tune which lives deep, deep within my heart. And it is this one. I came upon it in some documentary about the making of Transylvanian Hunger. I watched the documentary for purely historical/anthropological reasons. But the tune stopped me dead in my tracks (mind you, I was sitting up in bed). As far as I know, Darkthrone has never attempted to expand into this melodic direction, let alone repeat it. The song reeks of something Ulver might have attempted in their Bergtatt days. Put on your listening ears at 4:15. If you turn the volume on your device of choice all the way up, you just might be able to hear the heartrending brilliance unfold. Like lightning in a bottle. Or a lightning bug in a bottle. Both equally unlikely, depending on where you live. (What? Shut up. Darkthrone is a cop-out and you obviously couldn’t think of anything original to submit. Go to bed.)



The variants of this riff that bookend Pale Chalice’s 2015 album Negate the Infinite and Miraculous are as magnificent as they are malevolent. If the versions found at the start of the album light the candles that flicker so alluringly, the alterations found here at the start of the final track ‘Stigmatic Glands Through Supernal Rifts’ (33:57) blow those flames out and leave you shrouded in the dark.


Super Nintendo Chalmers

The whole thing is a monster. Hardcore. Make sure your flatbrim snapback comes correct or I’ll see you in the pit. Bring your own locker.


Jack Bauer

The first riff in this song starts at 42 is a surprisingly bouncy riff but it’s catchy as fuck and later on in the song around 3:47 it comes back during a solo and its fucking sick. This band is fucking sick. Lost Soul is fucking sick. Sick.



The riff that starts at 00:10 is pure NWOBHM goodness.


Ted Nü-Djent

I’ve been recently introduced to пурген (translated as Purgen) , a Russian anarcho punk band from umm, Russia. The riff in this track mixes punk with Traditional Russian music (well it sounds like it does) which first appears at about 35 seconds then recurrs at the 1.51, 2.47 and 3.44 in increasing intensity. This song is catchy as fuck and has been on heavy rotation in The Nuges household all week. Definitely worth checking out more of their stuff, just don’t bother trying to read the comments on YouTube (unless you have an affinity for vodka, caviar and refer to your friends as comrade). Nostrovia!



I found my copy of Samael’s Ceremony of Opposites in the used section at Wherehouse Music many years ago. At the time, the internet wasn’t a thing, and checking out underground bands was difficult. Back then, this CD was the blackest black metal I had ever heard, and it blew my mind. Whenever my parents would leave me and my brother home alone, we’d use my dad’s sweet sound system to blast this CD as loud as we could. “Baphomet’s Throne” always stood out to me as particularly awesome. It just sounds evil, and the riff at 1:39 perfectly exemplifies the black-metal groove I’ve come to love.


Boss the Ross

Sacred Worlds, by the almighty Blind Guardian, starts of with an exquisite orchestral introduction which kicks into to an excellent segment of riffage around the 1:25 mark. Simple yet effective, with a nice touch of harmonics, this riff explodes the album At The Edge Of Time into the heavy metal excellence it is. Behold the power! [Vote for this riff. — Masterlord]


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