Riff ov the Week: 11-21-15

1804
313
Share:

Rock guitarist play on the electric guitar around fire flames.

Fire flames, people.

Last time on (the Grim and Frostbitten Edition of) Riff ov the Week, that lizardly, fork-tongued rascal Lacertilian won with his snide-ass Foreigner pick. We submit to thee, O’ Scaled One. Cricket-eating fuck.

Next week:

  • Send your riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. If you’re reading this, you’re invited — don’t be shy. Include the name by which you wish to be called, a link to the riff, the time of the riff, and an explanation.
  • If you have an idea for a theme, do tell.

On to the riffing, then.

 

Masterlord

There’s never enough traditional heavy metal in these contests. I ask you — why?

 

Old Man Doom

Groovy.

 

Vegglampe

I’m sick and in the middle of exams so I need Satan to take me to a better place. 0:04.

 

Jack Bauer

3:54 fuck yes.

 

Gorak

OPETH ROCK!!! 0:55 FOR GOOD RIFF!!!

 

Tigeraid

I’m still trying to frame my Porcelain Throne writeup of Grand Magus into something coherent, as I felt my Iced Earth entry was a bit rushed. On the plus side, this means I get to fall down the rabbit hole of listening to killer old power metal tunes. And really, anything from Grand Magus just makes you want to bust down the door of a mead hall and start a fistfight with a Viking, no? How about the fastest tune off their best album? Storm King’s opening riff makes you want to drive about three times the legal limit, slowing down a bit for the chorus, then threading it back in and out a few more times, at 1:28 and 3:08. Power, my brothers.

 

Waynecro

This band sounds a lot like Pantera but has a way tougher name. For its sheer amount of crunchy groove, Cast Down the Plague by Pissing Razors is one of my go-to gym CDs. In fact, I almost submitted a riff from a song on that album (“Vexed”). But when the riff at about 0:06 came up during a recent cardio session and helped me survive my final few sprints (with only minimal retching), I knew I had to submit it. If this groove doesn’t get you pumped, you have not the heart of a warrior.

 

KJU

One of the few good blackgaze/post black/ whatever you whippersnappers call it bands out there. Riff starts at 1:46, and air guitar weedly deedlies ensue.

 

Ted Nü-Djent

I’ve listened to a lot of Nomeansno this week. 5 minutes 45 seconds. So should you.

 

Boss the Ross

When it was announced that Abbath had departed from Immortal I, along with most of you I suspect, was a completely taken by surprise. “Abbath is Immortal, what do you mean he’s out?” were my words. Fast forward a little while and Abbath announces a new band and a solo album. Hell yes, the frozen king is back. Last week the first official track was released. Winter’s Bane is exactly what I wanted, good heavy metal, straight forward, no frils heavy fucking metal. This is Abbath stretching his mighty raven wings and taking flight. This song has been stuck in my head since it’s release and has made Abbath’s solo album my most anticipated album at the moment. Bang your head.

 

Stanley

Typically, I’m out for my Saturday long run when you’re all riffing of the weeking. When my legs start screaming and my pace starts falling, Black/Thrash is my genre of choice for an aural shot of EPO. The mix of speed, aggression, melody and a pinch of Satan, always provide a much needed kick in the arse. The riff starts at 00:00 and works as the intro, verse and chorus. It’s that fuckin’ good. Warning: This track is likely to cause severe trauma to your C2-C7 vertebrae.

 

Lacertilian

I should have listened when Stocky mini-reviewed this album earlier this year. Dagon reminded me about it a month or so ago and I’ve been coming back to it regularly. The blend of genres these French-metallers combine is unique, deathy chord progressions, black metal riffing, layers of atmosphere, ambience, acoustic passages and even jazzy bass-sections are incredibly well-done. This riff (0:00) is essentially the start of the album. Go and listen to the thing, it is a good thing.

_______________________

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 22-11-2015 09:00:00
Poll Results:
WHO
  • tigeraid

    You know I like mine but…. That Tokyo Blade tho.

  • tertius_decimus

    > Next week:

    Elaborate, please.

    • Maik Beninton™

      I posted this idea weeks ago:
      “I have an idea: we do riffs from a band’s last album, but that band must
      be no longer a band, whether it broke up, or is on hiatus, and I would
      say being just on tour doesn’t count.”
      I guess Masterlord is not even trying now.

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        Lolol BURN

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Here’s a good one: Riffs from a band with less than 2 original members.

      • tigeraid

        I can get behind this idea.

  • ┼yree
  • ┼yree

    I’ve had this riff stuck in my head for the past 3 days now.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aI1ItXX3QV0

  • Lizard, your taste is well nigh impeccable.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      It sure is. Anyone who uses Foreigner and wins is good in my book.

  • BEARD-SPLITTER

    Always vote for a fellow atheist.

    KJU gets my vote despite not plugging my old interview

    • Not atheists too…

      It’s like every Jehovah’s Witness and Muslim I personally know: they only want to do business with each other. It’s like congratulating another human being for believing the same unknowable crap.

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        Why would someone know jehovas witnesses

        • Sometimes some of us have to go outside. Especially when it’s work-related haha.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            You mean how i work outside every day? Ive never met a jehovas witness except the little shitrats that ride around on bicycles with white shirts on and harass people at their homes

          • more beer

            That sounds more like the Mormons.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            I dont think we have mormons in NC

          • If you’re not sure if you have Mormons in your state–YOU HAVE mORMONS IN YOUR STATE.

          • I saw some documentary on PBS about Mormons trying to proselytize Germans. It was highly entertaining; trying to sell an America-centric religion to Europeans.

            It actually could have made a hilarious reality TV show.

          • more beer

            I worked for this guys children for about 6 months. They are crazy as hell. Also the greediest people I ever worked for. But They always paid me what I was owed and on time. Not so sure they would make for good reality TV. http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1987-12-06/news/8703310556_1_polygamy-daniel-ben-jordan-cult-murders

          • What a bunch of fucking freaks.

          • more beer

            Yea they were crazy. That’s why I only worked there for 6 moonths.

          • Oh man, I could watch people fuck with door-to-door Mormons every night of the week!

          • more beer

            They travel around all over the place. I used to work for some really crazy ones. When they become adults they go out as missionary’s. It isn’t required but most of them do it. Did They look like this and ride bikes?

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            I think its common practice for both cults
            http://www.painetworks.com/photos/hh/hh0447.JPG

          • more beer

            A cult they are. Check out the link I posted in response to JAG. Talk about some crazy fuckers.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            3 punchable faces

          • more beer

            Very true.

          • Óðinn

            That doesn’t stop them. They come to you.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            There should just be a war between the cults. Lutherans vs baptists vs catholics vs mormons, etc.

            Then i can sit back and watch

          • more beer

            As long as they are only killing each other and not innocent people. I would stand behind this 100%. I would probably be a season ticket holder.

          • more beer

            If you get accosted by the female ones. All you have to tell them to make them go away is. Can’t I marry all of you? Hell yea threesomes every night.

          • Óðinn

            I have to be honest…When they try to convert me, I do fuck with them. I start ask them how many wives I can have, even though I know they’ve outlawed polygamy. I pretend to try to convert them to another religion too.

          • more beer

            I fuck with them too. I said that to two of the female ones. That is how I know that works. The certainly are not as much fun as beer wenches.

          • Óðinn

            Hmmm….Beer wench missionaries.

          • more beer

            What would make them absolutely perfect. Is if they had a Saint Bernard with them. Beer and Brandy.

          • I’m going to have to ask you to reconsider your tone or I’ll have JWs knocking on your door all day/everyday for a month. Also unsolicited pizza deliveries.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Is there such thing as an unsolicited pizza delivery?

          • Good point.

          • more beer

            Send a pizza to my house it will get eaten.

          • Óðinn

            Aren’t they Mormons, the people in the white shirts?

          • more beer

            Yes.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            They used to go door to door here all the time until the city passed laws to curb it, Mormons too. Now they just hang out in front of the subway stations holding their copies of The Watchtower.

          • more beer

            In the 80’s the JW’s came to our door after a pretty crazy night of partying. My roommate let them in for some unknown reason. Well we started fucking with them. We were punching holes in everything they said. Then I decided it was time to put some music on. I cranked up At War With Satan. Needless to say it was like a stampede them trying to get out the door. But I accomplished my goal and they never returned.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Outside? Are you out of your mind?

          • more beer

            Some of us have to go outside to earn a living. Like me.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I choose to remain skeptical of this “outside” you speak of, despite the fact that I was just there.

          • more beer

            Besides work I have other things that must be done in this outside place. There is no particular order as they are all equally important. The dispensary, the beer store, shows, and to barbecue. Also dates, most ladies like for you take them someplace besides the bedroom.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            I dont want them kind of womerns

          • more beer

            I understand that. But as you get older they tend to expect more out of a man. It sucks but that is how it is.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Lawl, man.

          • KJM, Shake Zula
          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            I shoulda went to see him halloween

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Still waiting for him to play Boston.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Just checked his tour dates. He’s playing Asheville on NYE.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Nicee

      • Maik Beninton™

        There is a church just across the street from where I live, because of that I’ve been invited to go there at least three times and I always refuse, I’ve asked them what religion they are but they just answered it’s the church of Jesus.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Guaranteed that dude in the header image has cried while listening to Altar Bridge

    • Guaranteed he has never looked at all of his Pop Evil CDs and thought: I should kill myself.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        “Oh hey let’s put on Skillet!”
        – that guy

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I fucking hate Pop Evil, Skillet, Hinder and.Saving Abel. Alter Bridge at least has Tremonti who is a very good guitarist.

        • Óðinn

          I fucking hate those bands too. *high five*

    • ┼yree
      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I tried listening to Hinder and I hate myself because of it.

  • I’ve tried getting into Intronaut multiple times, shit ain’t happening.

    • Old Man Doom

      Different strokes, man. It’s all good.

  • Eliza

    You’re right, Masterlord. Old-school heavy metal is as good as modern metal. That Tokyo Blade song is as awsome as it is catchy. And it’s insanely catchy.

  • Masterlord may be a total dingleberry but he sure does know his old school heavy metal.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      You had me at “total dingleberry”.

  • Paris Hilton

    #metalfacts

    Pissing Razors came up with their band name one morning with one Hell of a hangover and the clap after spending the night with your mother. Yes, specifically YOUR mother.

    • Maik Beninton™

      Ooooooooh burn.

      • more beer

        That is what the clap does. It burns.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      THAT’S why she never came home with the fentanyl that night?!! Fuckin’ bitch.

    • Waynecro

      The dude at the record store told me that story when I bought Cast Down the Plague in 1999. But he said the dudes in the band got the clap at a Texas whorehouse. My mother has been to Texas only once, and she never left the airport.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    I needz this Kramer

  • tigeraid

    Also, I’m not a black metal guy, but that Abbath tune is fucking rocking… Might have to check that one out.

    • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

      This album seems like its going to be more like I’s Between Two Worlds. A little less blackened, more straight forward heavy metal. Lots of Motorhead.

      • Stanley

        What riff are we supposed to be listening to?

        • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

          All of it…

        • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

          Whichever one you like better. I like the opening riff, instant headbanging.

          • “It’s a buffet, man; pig out.”

          • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

            Pretty much.

          • Stanley

            The one at 0:40 is a good one, but you get -1 vote for cheating.

          • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

            That’s a good one.

            Cheating?!?

          • Stanley

            Riff not riffs. Riff not riffs. Riff not riffs.

          • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

            Fair enough. My apologies. Forgive me.

      • Óðinn

        I. Yup, good album.

  • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

    Moobieloins got my vote, since I haven’t heard Tokyo Blade in ages.

  • Old Man Doom

    Enjoy the sensual sounds of Intronaut on their A game. DO IT.

  • Waynecro

    Dat Ghost Bath riff. I can never not vote for it.

  • Óðinn

    Tough choice. Some great picks.

  • It’s happening again . . . ghosts in the voting booth!

    • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

      Seriously…

      • Were you around the last time this happened? ‘Twas a bloodbath.

        • Maik Beninton™

          It was too unfortunate Creed didn’t win.

        • Dubs

          I am not to blame for that farce. I would sacrifice this trophy to prove my innocence.

          • Sacrifice all of your sheep to Marduk, Slayer of Tiamat, and all shall be forgiven.

        • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

          I wasn’t inputting riffs at the time, but i do believe i recall that.

        • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

          What was the verdict last time?

          • Uh. The system is broken. The EDITORS must fall. Chaos reigns!

          • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

            Sounds good. Count me in.

    • BEARD-SPLITTER
  • Óðinn
  • JWEG

    I call shenanigans.

    Meanwhile, I vote for tigeraid because (a) that riff rips (b) the solo does too (c) I’m also voting twice for last week’s riff. Even though it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, it matters to me.

  • Lacertilian

    A few of these were unavailable for me, and I’m a lazy prick.
    Not much really grabbed me, so it came down to Coral, Tigeraid, Boss The Ross and Stan. I’m going to pick one at random.
    Also, am I the only one who fucking hates that Ghost Bath riff? I don’t normally speak out against selections but when I heard that album for the first time, that riff made me turn the album off. Banal emotive tripe. Fuck.

    • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

      Abbath calls to you…

      • Lacertilian

        I voted Stan.
        Sorry Rebel.

        • Stanley

          Yesss! I’m only just not dead fucking last.

          • Lacertilian

            Gotta make sure I win something.
            I can use a wooden spoon for making some desserts to soothe my disgust at the voting public.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Sorry bro, im obvs proGhost Bath (and we generally have similar tastes. I think youre suffering from DDS – deafheaven detractor syndrome)

          • Lacertilian

            I’ve never really listened to Deafheaven. I’ve heard a track here or there after all the commotion.
            Does Ghostbath have the same members or something?
            I don’t remember hearing a bland, sappy and contrived lead lick like this when I did hear them though.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            With their respective new albums, their similarities are much closer than before.

            There are some very similar lead licks in DHs newest (though prolly more tasteful)

            There used to be a conspiracy about the members of Ghost Bath (and i would say some trademark western idiosyncracies in their music)

            Ancient aliens, i guess

          • Lacertilian

            Whatever the case may be, coming back from the tangent, I would like to reiterate my original stance though, I hate that fucking riff.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Lolol no biggie, you arent in the minority i think

          • Lacertilian

            We were just saying on the FB group that someone saw that Ghost Bath had put out a ‘please vote for us’ plea on their page, hence the extra votes.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            My guess is that its a glitch or something.

            It certainly doesnt make a whole lot of sense

          • Lacertilian

            I think you misread.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Well, that probably stemmed from my interview.

            So. i guess youre welcome, kj

          • Lacertilian

            hahaha, your collusion will not be forgotten!

            Also, thanks/jinx @EllipsisOvFlush:disqus

          • Crust In Piece… Amebix

            Great minds Lizard…

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Yeah, sorry. Been drinking eggnog

          • Lacertilian

            Is it that time already?

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            The liquor ones rolled out a couple weeks ago

          • Lacertilian

            I’m going to have to get an authentic egg-nog recipe from one of you USA-types this year, I’m willing to try it, even though it’s usually pushing 45C here at xmas and I’ll undoubtedly vomit it up from the heat.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            I drink it chilled, regardless

          • Lacertilian

            Oh, I will be drinking it chilled but my body will be hot.
            Milk can be a bad choice.

          • ┼yree

            Seriously. This scene cracks me up every time.

          • more beer

            I commend the determination of trying. You have to respect a man, who will try something. Even if he knows the results may end badly.

          • Lacertilian

            Most things I do end badly.
            Much like life itself.

          • more beer

            Just like many of us here.But it is what makes life interesting.

          • Óðinn

            Oof. 45C and eggnog. Bad combination. Good luck.

          • Lacertilian

            45C and life are a bad combination.

          • Óðinn

            Haha. That’s true. My brother told me that when he visited Australia, he went with a friend to check out a match at the Australian Open tennis tournament. He said that it was was so hot that they actually had to leave.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Last couple of Xmas’ have been pretty mild. I’d have egg nog if it had vodka or even whisky in it though.

          • Lacertilian

            “1 whisky egg-nog, hold the egg and the nog”

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Haaaaa

          • more beer

            This is cheating! They need to be disqualified! Plus they won’t even Own up to their own crappiness. . By the members remaining nameless.

          • Maik Beninton™

            They already deleted.

          • more beer

            After they got 40 votes. There weren’t even 40 votes all together for everyone else combined. Deleted or not I’m going to stick by my original statement. They cheated and need to be disqualified.

          • Maik Beninton™

            Yeah, I told them that.(RFI)

          • more beer

            Good! Because they can’t be fucking with the integrity of the toilet.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™
          • more beer

            Now that is a toilet with integrity.

          • Óðinn

            Not to get picky about which Asian woman stands beside my golden toilet GORAK, but I prefer Japanese model and actress Kiki Sukezane. Just a personal preference. 😉

            http://www.northjersey.com/polopoly_fs/1.1433052.1444886456!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_300/101515-f-tvbetthu.jpg

          • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

            Kinda looks like Whinny from The Wonder years.

          • Óðinn

            Yeah kinda. It’s the hair.

          • KJM, Shake Zula
          • Óðinn

            Integrity being the key word there.

          • more beer

            Yes it is. This one of the few places on the internet with any kind of integrity.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I will second this because it means that I win lol

          • Óðinn

            Haha. Self-serving righteousness. Well done, sir. Are you sure you’re not American? 😉

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            American culture has taken over the world

          • more beer

            I voted for you. You couldn’t second that because I am right?

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I knew I liked you. I’ve been on a mad Nomeansno trip lately since I discovered they have a Bandcamp page. I’ve had Mr Happy for years on CD but could never find any of their stuff anywhere else back in the day and forgot all about them.

          • more beer

            I totally like that. Different but very good. A little bit of a punk feel to it with metal overtones. I plan on checking out more of them.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Yeah, I knew all their other stuff because a mate had a lot of their stuff but I’d lost contact with him over the years, as you do. They’ve been around almost 30 years so there’s a bit to delve into. They started off more hardcore punk but went towards a more jazzpunk later in their career. Anyway I’ll link you a few songs to get you started.

            https://youtu.be/gbS4Caymdo4

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™
          • Ted Nü-Djent ™
          • Ted Nü-Djent ™
          • Ted Nü-Djent ™
          • more beer

            Right on thanks.

          • Crust In Piece… Amebix
          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Lol, gotcha

          • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

            That’s complete and total garbage!

          • Pathetic. What an Emo move. I’m totally not going to buy their album TWICE AS HARD NOW

          • RJA

            we should be flattered that they think this is worth winning!

          • Lacertilian

            ‘should’ being the operative word there.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Or the extra readership?

          • JWEG

            [The proven ‘conspiracy’ is] about not actually being from China (a fact they’ve owned up to apparently). Not sure it changes the likelihood they’re ethnically Chinese (-American), though, or whether or not they’re a band worth following regardless of degree of ‘authenticity’.

            That said, had they actually been based in China I’d have even more cause to point out my own preference among Chinese atmospheric black metal bands (though admittedly an only-slightly-more-recent discovery):

            https://pestproductions.bandcamp.com/album/gu-yan-album

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            I understand this, and i think i even made it clear in the interview my suspicions.

          • Stanley

            The Lanterne Rouge is also quite the prize. Losers unite!

          • Lacertilian

            Had to look that up, but I’ll take it.

        • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

          It’s okay.

        • tigeraid

          Judassssss.

      • ME GORAK B.C.™

        GORAK HATES BATHS!!!!!!!! WINTERS BANE ROCKS THOUGH!!!!!!
        https://youtu.be/Gjzq9-UaA9c

        • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

          Gorak make me laugh. Gorak friend.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        It called to me. I wasn’t even going to bother with that album, now I can’t wait to hear the rest of it

        • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

          I’m glad i could help change your mind.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Remove the word could. You did.

          • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

            Right on.

    • Stanley

      I’m with ya. That Ghost Bath riff is so annoying.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Waynecro wins in my book.

    • Seconded on that hackneyed riffage.

    • more beer

      Well at least you know what you aren’t voting for. I agree with your assessment of said riff. Also you were great in your speaking role. On Ash vs Evil Dead this week. You handsome Bearded Dragon.

    • Óðinn

      I liked your pick this week, Lacertilian.

      I like the Ghost Bath too. Sorry. There were some legitimately shitty picks this week, but Ghost Bath wasn’t one of them in my opinion. I though Ted and KJU showed soem balls with their less traditional picks.

      • Lacertilian

        Less traditional pick?
        I’m almost certain that is the third time that riff has been submitted.

        • Óðinn

          Is it? By the same person? I wasn’t aware it had been submitted before. I meant a less traditional riff.

          • Lacertilian

            Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just being a sook because I don’t like that riff.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        That’s a kick/kiss comment for me. Rippin’ on Satan, but then complimenting my choice.

        • Óðinn

          Yeah, I’m not a big fan of Satan (the band).

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Yes, I am ware of this back when my jimmies were first rustled in th eFacebook group haha.

  • Óðinn

    No offense Masterlord, but your pick answered your question.

    • Boss the “Inspectah” Ross

      Daaaaayum!

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    These are lame. You guys are lame.

    • Maik Beninton™

      Nothing for you today?

    • Said the biologically superfluous nub of manflesh.

      • Lacertilian

        THE VESTIGAL AREOLA HAS SPOKEN

        • Vestigial? That was actually the word I was looking for. But the stupid sub-literate lizard spelled it wrong.

          *awaits Fuckbook de-friending*

          • Lacertilian

            I don’t spell well when I yell.

          • Stop rhyming, I mean it.

            (Does anybody want a peanut?)

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    JJD’s Album Of The Week: Throwing Copper by Live

    Throwing Copper is a very good album. Even though they were a pioneer of post grunge I must admit they were much better at it than all the other imitators of Pearl Jam. They’re not really the same after having kicked out their singer but they could have gone onto great things. I like that the singer has been performing this album in full since 2014 and appears to want to perform it for the rest of time.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHgs9jU3TyU

    • Amen sister.

      • Lacertilian

        1994 RADIO ROCK FOREVER, oh… and Nightside.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzBCmrk2oIw

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Yay, I’m not alone when it comes to liking Throwing Copper!

        • Lacertilian

          There’s a joke involving I, Alone here somewhere.
          I’m not going to try and find it.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            The singer of Live is performing Throwing Copper at a club near me. It’s in March so I’ll hopefully go see him perform it. Luckily his voice is still intact.

          • We’re italicizing song names now? My world is all topsy-turvy.

        • Wouldn’t call Live “post-grunge”, don’t believe such a thing actually ever happened, but this was a rad album. The first album wasn’t half bad, either. Or half of it was bad, half wasn’t. After that, fuck them running.

          • Lacertilian

            The constant references to his god of choice became unbearable on every album after Secret Samadhi.

          • I don’t even know that this Secret Santa business is. Thank God of Choice.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Even you must admit that The Dolphin’s Cry is the only great song they did after Throwing Copper.

          • Lacertilian

            No, I must not.
            Save for 2 or 3 tracks from Secret Samadhi, everything else I have heard has been cringe-worthy holier-than-thou poop.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I hated everything after Throwing Copper except for The Distance To Here.

          • Lacertilian

            Our tastes might overlap on this 1994 (I think) song..
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxhf-Z390OI

          • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

            Secret Sodomy.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I have it on CD. I’m hoping to see the singer perform the album at a club Daryl Hall owns near me. He’s doing it unplugged.

          • No thanks. Not a fan of singers continuing on after the band kicks them out. Unless Tori Amos wants to kick Tori Amos out of Tori Amos and just tour acoustically as Tori Amos. Then I’m on board.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I know Live kicked him out for something relatively stupid he did but he’s much better than the current singer they have.

          • I’d assumed Live ceased all activity around 1999 until just now. Mind———–>Blown

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            They had an album out last year called The Turn. It didn’t sound anything like Live. I prefer their work with the original lead singer.

          • I enjoyed Secret Samhadi (sp?) at the time.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Throwing Crapper more like

          • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

            Throwing Caca.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Cybro plz!

    • ME GORAK B.C.™

      RANDOM 1994 MUSIC!!!!!!!

      https://youtu.be/hy0yxTa_7Vk

    • Good god, no. Is there no end to the 90s nostalgia for terrible things?

    • Óðinn

      The album cover is actually a painting titled Sisters of Mercy by Peter Howson. I’m not a fan of the music, but the album art is good.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      I like most of the hits, but Lightning Crashes makes me want to pierce my eardrums with skewers.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        This cup gets it.

  • Óðinn

    Wait. What?…Is T*co B*ll verboten? I love Toilet ov Hell, quirks and all.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Relevant.

  • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

    Wait wait, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…………. I got 41 votes so far?!?!?! I didn’t even know that there’s even been 41 people voting altogether.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/3rgXByJDaR4jyXcIiA/giphy.gif

    • Óðinn

      Apparently Ghost Bath repped your pick on their Facebook page…and then they took it down.

      • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

        Woah, that’d explain how it got so many votes!!!

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          It’s legit. They got people to vote. Others didn’t.

          • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

            Woohoo, I finally won ROTW for once (well, I did wind by a landslide for the Electric Six song a few weeks back, but they ended up giving the win to Laucertarian because my balls are too big or something)!

          • E6 >>>>>>>>>>>

          • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

            They got a new one coming out, BTW (www.metropolis-records.com).

          • it’s already out on CD/digital (and it’s p good). expect a write-up about the band sometime in the future!

          • more beer

            How so? Candidates who are running for office are not allowed to campaign in front of polling places. This is the internet version of that. I’m pretty sure most of those who voted for them are not people who visit the the toilet on a regular basis.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Yeah, but aren’t we supposed to be trying to expand the audience of this site? I think anything short of turning The Toilet into MS is a good thing. I’m sure Joe would love it if he could actually monetize this place without “selling out”. After all this is Toilet Ov Hell, not Politico(Thank Kali).

          • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

            Most likely they aren’t but let me shine just this once! 😉

          • more beer

            Alright I will give you that.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Meh, the stakes here are nonexistent.

          • more beer

            No, it is more about bragging rights here.

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    Joe, you might want to check the vote tabulation counter, Stanley should clearly be in the lead. No contest here…

    • Stanley

      Ahh, shucks.