Riff ov the Week: 10-24-15

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aman playing eletctric guitar in black clothes photo

If it weren’t for stock photos and their accompanying descriptions, I’d be long dead by now.

Last week, the highly distinguished W. stole the show with his OST pick. He is truly mighty. Stories will be told of his handsome power eons forward. Feel his love course through you, as it does us all.

Next week:

  • Submit a riff that came out this year. There have been some good ones, and though I doubt your ability to pick the best ones, I harbor a faint speck of hope.
  • Send your riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your name, a link to the riff, the time of the riff, and an explanation.
  • If you have an idea for a theme, let me know.

 

Masterlord

0:00. Pure blackthrashing hate.

 

Tyree

This album took a while for me to fully digest honestly and I think part of it has to do with its long running time. The other week this album finally clicked with me and now I can’t seem to stop listening to it. There is one riff that really sticks out on this album and I feel the song it is in is the strongest song on the album as well. At 2:40 that riff just brings the chills hard; Every goddamn time it gets me.

 

Jack Bauer

2:20 unfffff.

 

Blackbeard

Rather than try and find something obscure, I figured I would go back to basics. The opening riff is the refrain for most of the song. Perfect with a glass of blood red wine for seducing that cute little dragon you’ve been trying to bang.

 

Gorak

RIFF SO BROOTAL IT SMASH YOU OVER HEAD! 1:26.

 

E.H.

After learning of the release date of their next album (18th March for those who care) I re-listened and decided on 0:43 to celebrate

 

Boss the Ross

Description- With a 14 year lapse after their 11th studio album, Accept returned in 2010 with a battering ram that is Blood of the Nations. These German metalers, now with a revamped lineup, unleashed a heavy slab of pure heaviness. Sounds redundant? Just listen. The second track on the album, Teutonic Terror, delivers one hell of a chorus and the accompanied riff, 1:34 – 1:52, will have heads banging for years. At 4:51 – 4:57 Wolf Hoffmann exquisitely dictates a slight variation of the riff with expert precision. Truly, a heavy slab of pure heaviness.

 

Waynecro

This whole medieval-black-metal song is magnificent, but I’m particularly fond of the glorious and triumphant riff that starts at about 1:28 (dem harmonies kicking in at about 1:35). Shit gets me so goddamned pumped that I could punch holes through Excalibur with my soul boner.

 

Ted Nü-Djent

Tasmania, famous for several things namely Cascade Beer, Chocolate Factories, Psycroptic, Australias worst ever shooting massacre, Lacertillian holiday destination and incest (why do you think that deviant lizard travels there?). You can now add Vrag to that illustrious list. Riff starts at 2 minutes

 

Lacertilian

A bastard of a riff for you bastards brought to you by Bastardiser.

_____________________________
This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 25-10-2015 09:00:00
Poll Results:
WHO?
  • Waynecro had me at “medieval”. Then again at “black metal”. Then again at “boner”. Good tune, there. Victory is yours.

    http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/medieval-knight-shining-armour-victory-7908080.jpg

    • MoshOff

      He should have lost me at medieval, but I’m really liking that tune. What the hell are you people doing to me???

  • Vote for Jeb

    “I could punch holes through Excalibur with my soul boner.”

    • Is it a dark soul boner?

      • Vote for Jeb

        You’d have to ask Waynecro.

  • Edward/Breegrodamus™

    I voted for Jack Bauer, unfffff.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    I was listening to Demons and Wizards and thinking to myself, “Man, this hack sure tries to sound like Hansi”. Then I realized it was Demons and Wizards.
    I’ll be in the shame corner.

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      Hansi always trying to sound like Hansi

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        Damn that rascal.

    • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

      “Man, this hack sure tries to sound like Hansi”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ICLgZfAISI

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    “Now show me on the doll where that Crimson King touched you…”

  • Boss the Ross

    Aah, riff of the week, it’s what makes work on Saturday morning pleasant and manageable.

  • Super Nintendo Chalmers

    If you don’t vote for Tyree, I hope the Void consumes you.

  • Boss the Ross

    Masterlord – oh so crusty
    Tyree – haunting, yet catchy
    Jack Bauer – ooooh, that bass
    Blackbeard – The Power! The Glory!
    Gorak – Smash!!!
    E.H. – das brutal
    Waynecro – Excalibur is left in pieces
    Ted Nu-Djent – that riff is almost out place, but it fits perfectly
    Lacertilian – you bastard!

    • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

      It was definitely a tough pick, but I went for the power metal, obviously. That and I love Blind Guardian and Demons And Wizards. Rotten Sound and Drowning The Light are heavyweight contenders, though!

  • ME GORAK B.C.™

    DEMONS!!!!!! WIZARDS!!!!!!!!! GORAK ROCK OUT!!!!!!!

  • JamesGrimm

    very LARPy riffs this week. Perhaps a Comicon version should be done.

    https://youtu.be/K3q3ZQaISqE

  • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

    ROTTEN SOUND +1111111

  • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

    You know who I voted for right off the bat.

    http://media.giphy.com/media/Gjw6Sdw6C8L5K/giphy-facebook_s.jpg

  • Stanley

    “Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, six string sabres”. Magnificent. Ross is the boss.

    • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

      Accept is like the 3-peat Bulls at this point. That made it an even tougher vote. The new singer is Udo, but so much better. Probably why Udo is even more butthurt about Accept. UDO isn’t bad, but the new Accept stuff sandblasts anything he’s done solo. Case in point:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbUXHTWZ9vk

      • Boss the Ross

        It kicks so much ass! Wolf Hoffmann is a genius, riffs are so good.

        • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

          Lol, for a while I thought they said ‘we’ll pulverize your balls’!

      • tigeraid

        I never enjoyed Accept. And then the new vocalist showed up. Teutonic Terror is a fucking anthem and a half.

        • Boss the Ross

          Never ever? Not even Restless and Wild? That’s one of my favorite albums.

          Teutonic Terror is indeed an anthem though, i was floored the first time i heard it.

        • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

          He’s Udo, but with much more range and octaves.

    • Boss the Ross

      We will GIVE EM THE AXE!

      Thank you my metal brother!

  • Oh yeah, I forgot I submitted a riff. All well.

    • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

      You were a mighty contender with the Drowning The Light pick, but you know me by now. I’ll toss this over to you though. Sloppy, horrific and filthy, just like you like it. 😉

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GevQhMjOf6k

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        I dont think tyree likes teh slams, i might be mistaken

        • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

          This might be easy listening for him.

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      I voted your riff

  • BEARD-SPLITTER
  • Maik Beninton™

    I don’t even have to click to know that is awesome, voted for Ross the Boss.

  • tigeraid

    Always vote Demons & Wizards.

  • 365chaosriddendays

    Tyree, I gave you my vote, that riff is killer, one of the strongest Black Metal albums of this year, I might say, wonderful choice.

  • BEARD-SPLITTER

    Should have an amime theme song ROTW but your american superiority insecurity wont let it happen

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      The best piece of music from an Anime ever.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_ldz_VSkiM

    • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

      At times, I wonder if the anti-anime thing is an actual thing here or just a comedic, busting chops thing. Either way, I love it. Not my favorite genre, but like any genre, when it hits, it hits hard, and when it misses, it misses hard.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Again, the “Grumpy Old Man” syndrome is in full effect with me. Anime is a genre that has been over saturated since the 80s imo. I just can’t be bothered to care about it anymore.

        • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

          Definitely agree with the over-saturation part, like any genre, but there’s a lot of good stuff in there. If you got time, check this one out.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YwEoENmGHs

  • RJA

    I’ve never heard Cruel Force before – thanks Masterlord.

  • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

    New drawing of mine.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I reconnected with an old friend over Tinder. I knew her in middle school and now I’ve spoken to her for the first time since 2007.

    • Super Nintendo Chalmers

      Ok

    • Based Potoo

      U gonna bang her?

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        No, at least not yet.

        • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

          Lol, you have more patience than me, then. If I don’t score on the first date, it’s pretty much a no go for me. Then again, me and my ex-fiance didn’t pump the cheeks until 6 months of dating.

    • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

      I gave it a lot of time and thought, but I decided to quit my job and start looking onward. Too much stress, too little pay, and with my resume, I can be doing a lot better. Physically, it’s taken it’s toll, and I’m still not thrilled about the shit they gave me about not being able to call off when I was sick. Kinda sad about it, but eh, life moves on.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I have two jobs now. I work today even though I’ve got a terrible cold. My throat is so dry and it hurts so much.

        • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

          Gah, it’s that time of year, and everyone’s getting sick. Try gargling hot water with some salt and a pinch of lemon.

      • woah

  • Oily Kung Fu Bologna Riot

    Almost complete drawing! Woohoo!

  • InfinityOfThoughts

    Every time I listen to Blood of the Nations, all I can think is, “If Death Magnetic sounded this good, people would have considered it a masterpiece”.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    Accept did a damned good job reinventing themselves, that’s for sure.

  • Dagon

    Touched by the Crimson King