Riff of the Week: The “Fire” Edition // 4-2-16

Rock guitarist play on the electric guitar around fire flames stock photo

Fire flames, guys.

You people really like the word fire. This is like the most submissions I’ve ever received. We got a shit-ton of riffs from songs with the word “fire” in the title for you today. Are more than one of them any good? This remains to be seen, but prior experience suggests no.

Last week, Gorak won with fruit of the lowest-hanging variety because Slayer is the only band included that most of you have heard of.

I’m mad because, for a while, I was winning. BUT NO. It would appear that nothing can overcome your aggressively bad tastes.

Next week we can do another word-themed thing since you all seem to be so into it. W. suggested a “dragon-banging riff of the week”, and I’m going to interpret it like this: next week, your riff must be in a song that has the word “dragon” in the title. Before you throw a little tantrum, let me assure you — there are plenty of good, non-power metal songs with the word dragon in them.

Send your dragon riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your name, a link to the riff, the time of the riff, and an explanation for why you chose such a probably shitty riff that everyone is still going to vote for anyways.

Ok. Fire.

 

Masterlord

I don’t care anymore don’t vote for me I want to die 0:10.

 

W.

The main riff (intro/chorus) in this song makes me want to boogie until my trousers catch fiyah.

 

Ellipsis

Thou shalt burn @1:39…

 

KJU

It’s got goats. It’s got fire. All it’s missing is some pita bread and tzatziki after the goat in question gets done cooking. The goatdayum riff starts at 3:20.

 

Bob 

Do yourself a favor and play for the duration but things start getting funkin’ rockin’ around 3:53.

 

Dr. Derelict

I was tempted to submit Building With Fire from In Times just to annoy Stanley, but instead let’s burn in the black fires of god. Desolation begins at 0:00, riff at 0:26.

 

Karhu

When Masterdork unveiled the theme for this week’s rip-o… sorry, riff-off I had the perfect riff in mind. It had be the one, there was no other choice. Then the Caped Nerd made a retraction and a withdrawal and a slightly changed the theme so my winner-without-a-doubt wasn’t eligible any longer (maybe someone’d vote for you if you played fair) [Full disclosure: his pick totes sucked anyways lol — Masterlord]. So I was left with this, mind you that riff at the beginning is pretty fire and as the second-best choice still better than the rest.

 

Blackbeard

On this, most glorious of days, the lowest branches doth bear the sweetest fruits. Opening riff/refrain.

 

Salvador Dali Lama

Whenever I see the band’s name, this is the one riff I always hear in my head. When an opening riff is that good and massive, you know the song will be chock full o’ riffage.

 

Jack Bauer

Starts at about 40 seconds in. Translates to “fire free”. I’m not the biggest fan of these dudes, but this song fucking crushes my dick every time.

 

Odinn

I am Óðinn, the God of wisdom, war, art, culture, and the dead. I am the supreme deity and creator of the cosmos. Your false gods are meaningless. They will be destroyed. This is my Riff ov the Week submission, Fire and Faith by a band named Ascension. The riff starts at 0:54. Many thanks in advance for your votes. Hail Óðinn!

 

Ted Nü-Djent

During this fight, I’ve seen a lot of changing, in the way you feel about me, and in the way I feel about you. In here, there were two guys killing each other, but I guess that’s better than twenty million. I guess what I’m trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!

 

Ron Deuce

You want fire? Immolation brings it on “Into Everlasting Fire” You could pick anyone of the creeper riffs on this song from the opener to the chorus, but I’m gonna go with the song’s climax riff at 2:12. That riff is trademark Immolation and it is fire. Come to think of it, this whole track is fire.

 

Gorak

FIRE RIFF BEGIN 4:12!!! BOTH BROOTAL + MELODIC!!!

 

Eliza

As far as Megadeth’s 80’s releases are concerned, So Far So Good … So What is my least favourite, but the riffs in this song are undeniably awesome.

 

Waynecro

This is the first song title that popped into my head after I read the parameters for this week’s Riff ov the Week. I’m picking the riff that kicks off this beast of a song; however, this jam is one killer riff after another, so pick your favorite one and rock out with your cock out/jam out with your clam out.

 

Megachiles

Roky Erickson is one of Texas’ finest musical exports (along with ZZ Top, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Absu, and Beyoncé). Roky broke out of the Texas state mental hospital in Austin numerous times in the 70s, and was singing about trve and kvlt stuff like Nazis, vampires, and Lucifer before the Scandinavians made it cool. This song uses the word “Fire” 26 times and is about a Balrog or something, so you should vote for it. The embryonic form of the gnar riffage kicks off the song, while the juicy, unabridged version emerges at ~1:00-1:20, ~2:30-3:10, and ~4:20-the end.

 

Boss the Ross

Fire is best served with Black Wind and STEEL!

 

Tigeraid

Man, I found a shocking number of great riffs…. in songs with the word “flame” in the title. But let it never be said that I bend the rules!!!! So fire it is. BLUE FIRE, in fact. Base riff throughout the tune is chuggy goodness.

 

____________________________

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 01-04-2016 20:22:33
end_date 08-04-2016 20:22:33
Poll Results:
Fire away (kill me).

Written by:

Published on: April 2, 2016

Filled Under: Riff of the Week

Views: 1561

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Roky Erickson is the best. That song is off my favorite album of his.

    • megachiles

      I played Two Headed Dog for my dog and she did the “wut dat?” head tilt thing every time he sang the chorus.

      That album is my go to if I’m in the mood for Roky. The dude knew how to write a hook!

  • Eliza

    Themed editions like this are the best.

  • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

    SO MANY ENTRIES!!!!!
    Good work everyone, this will take me all day.

    • ME GORAK B.C.™

      GORAK TORN BETWEEN MR BEARD & ELIZA!!!!!& ELLIPSIS!!!!! & MASTERLORD!!!!!! GORAK SURPRISE NO ONE SUBMIT BATHORY!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

        Gorak better check that list again and see what Biss the Ross submitted.

        • ME GORAK B.C.™

          & BOB!!!!!! & WAYNECRO!!!!!

          • Eliza

            I know how you feel.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            ME ALSO GONNA WIND UP WITH 0 VOTE 🙁 !!!!!!!!!

          • Eliza

            We have lost the battle, but the fight was worth it.

      • Eliza

        I thought there would be Bathory too.

    • Eliza

      I know. How am I supposed to choose between Metallica, Amon Amarth, Mastodon, Manowar and Immolation? Tell me how!?

  • It snowed? Mother nature you fucking bitch

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      How did it snow with all this FIRE?!

      • Idk there is definitely snow on my car though. THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Serious bullshit.

  • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

    Some of this fruit is so low, you have to bend down to pick it up.

  • I had a tough choice between the track I submitted and this one.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZaxS1QG1N0

    • brokensnow

      the fuck

      • brokensnow

        mmmmmm sothern discomfort

  • megachiles

    Dammit Ted, I was going to vote for myself but your damn description brought the lolz. 🙁

    • Lacertilian

      And if everyone voted for themselves it would negate a fair percentage of the votes, although I have some friends who perpetually walk around patting themselves on the back..

      • megachiles

        Very true! Honestly I wouldn’t vote for myself, because it wouldn’t be in the spirit of discovering new and enjoyable songs.

        Edit: grammar is hard

        • Lacertilian

          This is how I’ve convinced myself that finishing on 0 votes is noble.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    I hate to point out other people’s mistakes, but anybody who doesn’t choose Immolation “Into Everlasting Fire” is wrong.

    • ME GORAK B.C.™

      THIS SONG & RIFF NEVER WRONG!!!!!
      https://youtu.be/CjpAgWLyqkI

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        Holy shit, why didn’t anybody submit this song?

        • ME GORAK B.C.™

          THIS ONE & MR BEARDS WERE FIRST 2 FIRE RIFF ME THINK OV!!!!!!

        • Eliza

          I wanted to, but thought it’d be too obvious.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          I’m really surprised Masterlard didn’t.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          I was wanting to submit ‘Shores On Fire’, but I figured it’d be too obvious.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      And anybody choosing Moonspell is wrong as well.

    • more beer

      You are correct. But I am kind of biased towards my friends.

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        Well, even if you won’t let your bias get in the way of objectivity, you should still end up with Immolation this week.

        • more beer

          True.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      I was about to describe that riff as being fun to play, then I realised ‘fun’ is just a way to say ‘easy’ without making yourself look like a wanker.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I disagree. The Roky Erickson song is the only choice.

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        I disagree with you disagreeing with me.

        • more beer

          I second this.

    • Agreed.

      • more beer

        Man your new music is really good. I am listening to it again. Let me know when you have physical copies as I will want one.

        • Thanks man, that means a lot. I just finished up the Cassette layout this morning. Working on the CD layout after lunch.

          • more beer

            I am a pretty straight up guy. I call them the way I see them. Also that Mysophilia on your blog is fucking sick.

          • Dubs

            I listened to it yesterday. Solid, like the rest of the Scab discog.

  • Zeke

    Wow, a lot of good submissions. How am I supposed to pick between emperor and immolation and immolation? Maybe I’ll just vote for beherit

  • Sir Tapir The Based

    BEHERIIIIIIIT

  • Pentagram Sam

    Dammit, I am literally sitting here waiting to get my ass to work and I’m straight stuck in what to choose. I feel the pull towards many great riffs like so many chains hooked into me innards, but alas, I kennit make a decision! Oh great Pinhead! Please release me from this agonnneeeeeeee!!!

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Vote For The Goat! Make America Goat Again! 😉

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    “Dragon” in the title

    I have a feeling next week will be a tough one for me…

    • Eliza

      I’m expecting power metal galore I hope I won’t be let down.

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        The outlook is letting me down already.

        • Eliza

          How bad could it possibly be?

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            “Horrible” is the word that comes to my subjective mind.

          • more beer

            Fucking horrible. Don’t for get the adjective.

          • Eliza

            *adverb

          • more beer

            My bad I have been out of school for a long time. fixed.

          • Eliza

            No problem. I will probably forget this kid of stuff once I stop directly working with it too.

          • more beer

            Yes the further removed from things you are.The more you tend to forget them.

          • Eliza

            True.

          • Eliza

            And glorious!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            “Gloriously horrible and awful”

          • Eliza

            Now everyone is happy!

      • megachiles

        I’ve got some siqq stoner riffs at the ready.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          Then I have a feeling you just won next week’s battle. For me at least.

          • megachiles

            A vote for me is a vote to make the toilet great again.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            #VoteMegachiles

          • megachiles

            #FeelTheBee just doesn’t have a good ring to it 🙁

          • more beer

            That depends are they green chiles or red chiles?

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Well the background color of his picture is green.

          • more beer

            I had to ask. As I prefer green.

          • megachiles

            Green >>> red

            The lack of green chile in my life is one of the main reasons I miss living in New Mexico.

          • more beer

            I am a straight up green chile addict. We have them in Denver. But they don’t compare to the 505. I am probably going too take a trip down to Albuquerque in late August or September to see friends and pick up a big bag of them.

          • megachiles

            Gah, that sounds amazing. My granddad used to roast a couple 100lbs every year for his diner. He still gives me 5-10 lbs flash frozen when we visit so I can make stew at home. You don’t appreciate how ubiquitous they are in NM until you can’t get them year round.

          • more beer

            There is nothing like the smell in the air, in the fall in New Mexico. When they are roasting them on every block. I can get them pretty much year round here. They just aren’t as good.

        • Eliza

          You have my attention.

          • megachiles

            Correction: dank* stoner riffs

          • Eliza

            I’m intrigued.

          • megachiles

            Hint: it involves Matt Pike

          • Eliza

            Now I’m excited!

          • megachiles

            About 5-6 years ago at a High on Fire show I caught his shirt when he disrobed at the start of the set. I didn’t end up keeping and now I live in regret. 🙁

          • Eliza

            I would have immediately put it on, haha!

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            And crimson lights?

          • megachiles

            Maybe ; )

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Now I know what not to submit, as I was thinking the same thing.

    • more beer

      Masterlord is narrowing the field for the win. I don’t listen to power metal. So I can’t think of a single song with dragon in the title.

      • ME GORAK B.C.™

        ME BET NEXT GONNA BE MOSTLY POWER OR BLACK METAL!!!!!!

        • more beer

          All power metal.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          At the moment I can’t really think of any BM songs with “dragon” in the title.

          • Rob M

            Dragon tends to be used in conjunction with Satan so I know theyre out there, but none are popping into my head right now

      • Maik Beninton™

        There is this one, who will take it?!
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKcuPnkG-mM

        • more beer

          You should have saved that It probably would have won.

          • Maik Beninton™

            Yeah, but I’m lazy so I will let someone else take it.

          • more beer

            Fair enough.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          Dio is pretty good actually; though this song certainly is no Holy Diver.

          • Maik Beninton™

            It sure isn’t, I’m actually doubting if it would win.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Well there goes my choice riff.

      • megachiles

        Hanmers of Misfortune’s first album definitely has some dragons up-ins.

        • more beer

          That’s not anything I listen to. So I wouldn’t know.

          • megachiles

            Their first album had a lot of black metal tropes in it, but it’s a fantasy concept album set in two acts. It’s definitely something you need to be in the right mood for. John Cobbet, the lead guitarist and writer, can bring the shred like nobody’s business.

          • more beer

            I am not really a huge black metal fan. I prefer grind, death and thrash mixed in with a lot of punk and hardcore.

          • megachiles

            Ha, yeah next week might be slim pickings for you 🙁

            If someone can find a grind song about dragons they would have my vote.

          • more beer

            But I can’t think of a grind song about dragons. It is pretty slim pickings for everyone In my opinion.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Only dragon-oriented hardcore album I can think of off the top of my head:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nh-ctzxe0DQ

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          I just checked my library and I have 4 songs with Dragon in the title. Hammers Of Misfortune being one of them

      • BobLoblaw

        Could always go with something off of Keep of Kalessins Reptilian record…..if you want to lose.

      • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

        I will do my best to procure a non-power metal song for you, but it will be hard and I guarantee nothing.

      • Lacertilian

        I’ve got 4 (non-PowerMetal) already, maybe it is your taste that needs expanding..

  • High on Vallenfyre

    Holy shit that manowar video is glorious.

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      Isn’t it though?

      • Maik Beninton™

        It needed more oil.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          It needed less Manowar.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            *dodges Ross’ flying axe*

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Your reflexes are of the highest level

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            They have to be if I want to avoid getting slaughtered for insulting Manowar.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            If you were anyone else, i would pursue.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I thought no one would go unpunished for making the mistake of bashing Manowar?

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Yourself and more beer have passes, everyone else will feel the STEEL!!!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I’m honestly surprised I haven’t been made fun of with some of my more peculiar likes.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            To quote the mighty Bruce Campbell, “Never fuck with the king.”

          • more beer

            Remember our conversation the other day about Indiana Jones.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
  • Rob M

    Masterlord pulling out the big guns with Beherit

    …and this is what I would have submitted if my attention span lasted longer than 5 minutes

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0QH-nPZ1vs

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    ANGELS FALL, THEIR WINGS DECAYED
    THE HYMNS OF PRAYER SUNG FROM THEIR GRAVES

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      This hint may guide you in making the right choice.

  • tigeraid

    A RIFF WITH DRAGONS!?!?!? RAND’AL, ROSS, LINK! OUR TIME IS AT HAND!!!!

  • tigeraid

    The very first words out of my mouth last week were “JUMP IN THE FIRE.” So I didn’t pick that. Dubya you obvious, obvious bastard.

  • tigeraid

    Also: many good choices. I fear mine is meek. Good job toileteers.

    • Eliza

      It’s a good song.

    • Rob M

      Actually really liked that album…but Beherit

      • tigeraid

        I understand.

  • more beer

    Fire and no one submitted this.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIrHJCnmeoY

    • Eliza

      facepalm

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      No one submitted the song Fire by Jimi Hendrix either. That’s extremely low hanging fruit though.

      • more beer

        Well Hendrix is classic rock not metal. That could be a factor you know.

        • BobLoblaw

          Do the submissions HAVE to be metal though?

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            They did manage to submit Roky Erickson this week…

          • megachiles

            Staaaaahnd for the demon of fiiieeeerrrrrurur!

          • more beer

            I would think they should be.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          My submission is neither

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      That’d have been nice

      • more beer

        I still would have given my vote to immolation.

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Naturally

  • Akerskronks ov Steele
    • Eliza

      I regret my submission so much.

      • more beer

        Have no regrets in life. Just live and learn.

        • Eliza

          That’s a wise piece of advice.There is so much to be learned from the Toilet.

          • like always vote beherit nudge nudge

          • Eliza

            Unless there is Immolation.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            The important question here is whether to vote for Immolation or IMMOLATION

          • more beer

            Either way it is the right vote.

          • brokensnow

            or good Mastadon

          • Eliza

            Yep, I LOVE Mastodon!

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Not when there’s burning goats to vote for.

  • Count_Breznak

    No Ulcerate, no vote.

    • BobLoblaw

      Damnit! I cant believe no one posted that.

    • Everything I post gets downvoted anymore. Not sure why, guess I’m just not very welcomed here anymore. I think I’m done here guys and gals. Nice knowing ya.

      • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

        :/ werent me bro. thats a shame, ive found so much cool stuff from you

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Who bounced?

          • more beer

            Tyree.

          • brokensnow

            why?

          • more beer

            Don’t know.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Shit.

          • more beer

            My earlier comments to him are still there but his responses to me are gone.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Same here.

          • more beer

            Agreed.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Weird. Second time someone’s bounced this week (KJM being the other one).

          • Dubs

            I reached out to KJM. He’s okay, so don’t worry about him.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Cool cool.

          • more beer

            Yea 2 people I really like.

          • Haha that must be the fourth or fifth time he’s rage-quit. Why even bother anymore? Just stay away until your butthurt heals up and then come back for more butthurt like everybody else…

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            What happened?

          • more beer

            I’m not really sure.

      • BobLoblaw

        🙁

      • BobLoblaw

        In all seriousness I dont think I’ve ever downvoted you, you are generally a pretty funny dude.

  • more beer

    I just read Motorhead are going to release a live album. Of material from the last tour. Is this really a fitting tribute to Lemmy? Couldn’t they use material from when he wasn’t so sick.. These shows were 5 weeks before he died. Probably not the best performances of his career. While I understand the significance of these shows. I certainly think they could find a better tribute.

    • To split the difference, they could do a double album with the latest performances and some awesome old stuff … ?

      • more beer

        Or maybe release these recordings at a later date. I just think if it is going to be a tribute. It should be stuff from when he was healthy and on the top of his game.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      True, those last few months was him heaving and panting, and most of the time quitting a couple of songs in.

      • more beer

        It’s not like cancer wasn’t ravaging his body by then. We shouldn’t have to remember him like that.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Eh, you know the label isn’t gonna let that kind of cash grab slip away. And people will still wanna see it, thinking it’s some kind of grand bowing out, rather than the exhibition of a dying man that is was.

          • more beer

            It is just fucked up everything has to be a huge cash grab.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            It’s not as bad as all the MH merchandise that’s come out since his death.

    • Óðinn
      • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

        i thought about this song.

        • Óðinn

          Me too. But I think I submitted a Motorhead song the last time I participated in ROTW, so I decided to submit Ascension instead this time.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            I’m interested to see everyone’s this week.

  • *Searches collection for songs with “Fire” in the title*
    *Finds nothing but Fear Factory’s “Freedom or Fire”*
    *Abstains from RotW for another week*

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      Are you going to the party later?

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        Do you intend to ask this every week?

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          I’m just making sure I have the right fellow.

          • I bled out from my armholes and respawned as my true self.

          • brokensnow

            ……………………………………………….jesus?

          • Close.

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            HAIL!

      • Nah, I’ve got babies to abduct and young women to ensorcell.

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Sounds like a plan. Have fun with that!

        • Óðinn

          It might be easier if you find young women who don’t have babies. Just a thought.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        What party?

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      I had 256 songs with fire or a variation of fire in my iTunes.

      • But which one of us is the poser?

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          I think the answer is rather obvious

    • Waynecro

      That’s a great Fear Factory song, though.

  • more beer
    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      What the fuck is with him?

      • more beer

        crazy!

        • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

          drugs

          • more beer

            Crazy & Drugs

          • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

            one of those chicken and the egg deals, probably

          • more beer

            Whatever the reason. I don’t think he will be sticking around much longer.

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        He’s had one too many juice boxes.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Not with our luck this year. The Reaper’s been busy taking out the talented folks, not cornball alt-metal bands from 1999.

      • more beer

        I thought Katt Williams was next. But this guy has surpassed him with this latest incident.

  • Lots of good entries this week but Ted’s pick singlehandedly won the Cold War soo…

  • Ol Dirty Blastbeard

    this is a tough one. Bob actually picked one i had considered. then Beherit, Manowar, and Anaal Nathrakh…

    BLACKBEARD VOTES FOR STEEL

    • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

      I would call that a Triumph of STEEL!!

  • Stanley

    Dr. Derelict. You’re such a wag.

  • brokensnow

    MARCH

  • Just returned from my first Flotation Therapy session. An hour of sensory deprivation in a pod full of saline.

    I feel vaguely effervescent.

    And an intense craving for caffeine and BLACK metal.

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    No love for goats around here?!?! *goat rage intensifies, chomping on a tin can super super hard*

    • I’m assuming, or guessing, or else I just somehow KNOW–that your pick comes from a re-recording of the first Moonspell thingy?

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Yep yep!

        • I remember buying the original version back in high school and being like “What the fuck this is awful” and–ignoring the urge to destroy it outright–selling it instead.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            It’s got some good tracks, but the original sounded like it was recorded in an oil drum being thrown across a wind tunnel.

          • The drummer sucked. That was the deal breaker for me. It kind of sounded like they hadn’t rehearsed any of the tracks more than twice.

            That said, the Mr. Clean production on the re-release is abysmal in its own right.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Maybe the re-release is…………….

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZZpbgwKfz4

          • Moonspell jumped the motherfucking shark with this piece of shit and I never looked kindly upon them again. /noregrets

  • Stanley

    Can someone please submit a Mastodon riff next week? I’ve got the urge to vote for another Mastodon riff.

    • Lacertilian

      After my memory failing to remember a Mastodon song with Dragon in the title I searched, only to find this..
      https://youtu.be/MEMlR_PnmHE

      • Stanley

        Please can someone find a Mastodon riff with the letters d,r,a,g,o,n in it?

        • Lacertilian

          Impossible!

          • watch these bastards will make it happen somehow

          • Stanley

            Just find one with a really long song title. I’m sure it’ll have those letters in it and nobody (Masterlord) will bother checking if it’s missing one or two.

          • Lacertilian

            Impossible was said in jest.

          • Stanley

            You did it, didn’t you. You went and did it.

          • Lacertilian

            No, but after this I kinda want to now..

    • not only am I not at all sick of mastodon riffs, but I genuinely think they’re good riffs and I am happy to include them each week

      april fool lol

      • Stanley

        lol

  • Salvador Dalí Lama

    I voted for Jack Bauer, yet oddly my vote doesn’t show on his bar thingy.

  • Lacertilian

    Reading the start of your description @Odinn..

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    The Bubbles fiasco continues: The lady who plays Lucy on Trailer Park Boys just quit over the whole assault thing.

    http://www.tmz.com/2016/04/02/trailer-park-boys-lucy-quit-bubbles-arrest/#disqus_thread

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      TRAILER PARK BOYS RELEASE STATEMENTS FROM PARTICIPANTS
      TORONTO, April 2, 2016 – Regarding Mike Smith’s involvement in an incident that occurred early Friday, April 1st in Hollywood, following are statements issued by the participants:
      Georgia Ling, described as the victim in this incident, stated: “Mike and I did indeed have a heavy argument but it saddens me the way things are being reported and the way it was handled by the police. At no point did I feel I was in danger, otherwise I would’ve called the police myself, which I did not. The police were called by others not present in the room who mistakenly perceived the argument to be something other than what it was. When the officers arrived I tried to assure them there was no real issue, but they proceeded to arrest Mike”.
      Mike Smith commented: “Georgia is a friend of mine and we had a loud and heated dispute. That is all. At no time did I assault her. I am not guilty of the misdemeanour charged against me.”
      The other members of the Trailer Park Boys and all staff stand behind Mike and look forward to the matter being resolved favourably.
      http://www.newswire.ca/…/trailer-park-boys-release-statemen…

      • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

        Good news, then!

      • BobLoblaw

        I womder if Lucy was there and was the one to call the cops on Mike.

  • @Waynecro:disqus gets my vote. not many bands can recycle their own formula as good as Anaal Nathrakh.

    • Waynecro

      And the fury. The singer sounds so very angry.

  • Ol Dirty Blastbeard
  • Waynecro

    How the crap am I supposed to pick one? There’s an Emperor song and two Immolation songs. This is too hard!

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      Could always go with some Moonspell! 😉

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    Got my non-power metal/zoophile dragon-fucking submission sent in for next week.

  • Lacertilian

    Dr Derelict got the Lizard-vote this week.

  • Major Zim

    Um, I take huge exception to this list. No one picked Ov Fire and the Void? The opening riff is probably the most massive and haunting shit Behemoth did in their pre-Satanist blackened-death metal period. For shame. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpkYVLhRQyE

    • Major Zim

      Slightly more understandable but no less forgivable is the snub of this masterpiece. Literally pick any riff, it’s like the one album they actually have riffs on. But especially the opening riff. The way it crawls inside your head and sets up the atmosphere of everything being shifting, chaotic violent nonsense for the rest of the song is phenomenal. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk2MZptsmdk

      • Major Zim

        All that said, I still would have voted for Blackbeard because that is the best riff from the best song Amon Amarth ever made. It’s so groovy, militaristic and macho that it gave Bolt Thrower a chub usually reserved for new Warhammer 40K books.

      • Dubs

        Ulcerate >>>

  • Eliza gets my vote.

  • tigeraid

    May I suggest a theme for the next Riff? How about metal duets? Basically, if it has a male and female vocalist (not just halfassed backup vocals from one, though), and a killer riff.