Riff Of The Week: Spaaaaaaaaaaaaace Edition

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This week’s competition brought to you by Echoes® – “Talk To The Future, Today!”.

Last week we embraced our primitive urges and clubbed each other senseless with riffs that turn us into cavemen. Somehow, some fucking how, our resident cavedork Gorak didn’t win. Sure, when he hastily submitted a Leviathan riff within a few hours of the announcement I questioned his chances but the poor dude got beat out by basically every other entry! In the end, the ElusiveSamsquanch took home the trophy with a riff from what is undeniably one of Cannibal Corpse’s top 150 tracks. Well done everyone, we were spared of having to open the sealed envelope containing the competition’s contingency plan should Roots ever win. Way too close for comfort though, the top drawer in the TovH office was open, the cubicle filled with staffers nervously eyeing its contents – the lavatorial letter opener ov hell.

This week we asked for SSSSPPAAAAAAAAAAAACCCEEEEEE themed riffs and we got some quality selections. While space has been a staple theme in metal for quite a while now, it has certainly seen an increasing amount of the limelight in recent years. No complaints here, as I feel the topic offers a near infinite source of conceptual inspiration. Kinda odd it should be so compelling though really, as space, like the soul of an edgy internet nihilist, is cold, dead, and mostly empty. Well I say empty, but what we assume to be void seems more and more likely to be comprised of dark matter. So maybe more analogous to paleocons than nihilists? Although, the apparent emptiness of space is echoed within all of us, right down to the cellular level, regardless of what ideology you ascribe to. See, if you could remove the empty space inside the atoms that comprise your body, the remaining matter would be smaller than a grain of sand. Apply this process to the entire human race, and 7 billion people would occupy the same volume of space as a single sugar cube. Perhaps most interestingly though, is that if you add that exact same amount of space back in between all the atomic nuclei and their surrounding electron clouds, we’d occupy the exact same amount of space as before. Except we’d all be dead. Crazy, huh? Thanks for ((not?) being) nothing, space. Don’t forget to use the PROMO CODE SUMP after voting to get a 13% discount when you protect yourself from unnecessary insurance with today’s sponsors at Superfluous Insurance – “Superfluous Insurance: Don’t Get Caught Without It!”.


Hans

Dephosphorus – “Astrocyte Portal”

Space riffs that put you into cold nothingness or a trippy haze abound, but space parties more often than you might think. This riff shall have you a-boppin’ and a a-bouncin’ for a change. Starts at 0:08 and goes on for a while, so why not keep that booty in motion and stick around for the drum fill at 0:24.


Positronic Brain

Bear Mace – “Death Of A Constellation”

Have you heard this fucking album yet? This is Bear Mace, and they have a bear right on their album cover to prove that they’re not fucking around. The opening riff (0:00) of this song/album slams you like a mother Kodiak when she finds you feeding Fruit Roll-Ups to her cubs, while a lead guitar does little rockstar fills in between, including one at 0:12 that reminds me of Hercules in the old 60s cartoon shooting his bow and arrow, just in slow motion. All while Lord Devourer belches out lyrics about “celestial genocide.” Highly recommended!


tigeraid

Terminus – “Fortress Titan”

From 2015’s criminally underrated “The Reaper’s Spiral,” here’s a little diddy about a crazy space attack on a moonbase at Titan. I mean it’s basically one long series of righteous power riffs, starting with a solid gallop right at 0:00 as the fleet reigns plasma fire down on the enemy. The solo puts you right there around orbit of Saturn, then a nice slow crunchy chug at 2:32 before crushing you with ever-increasing riffage starting at 3:35.  Hail!


FrankWhiteKingOfNY

Darkspace – “Dark 3.13”

Is there a better metal band around that’s capable of transporting you into space than one that actually has the word “space” in its very own band name? Didn’t think so…

Darkspace, like Wroth’s other brain child Paysage D’hiver, is quite the unique project. One that could be aptly described as “the soundtrack right before you enter Event Horizon’s hellscape through one of those mysterious wormholes”.
Now I realize the band is categorized as “ambient black metal”, but their sound is not without its inclusion of a few crushing grooves. Case in point: around the 10:24 mark the bands pulls out a completely epic riff that will have you screaming “liberate tute me ex inferis” by the time it’s over. Go!


Richter

Virus – “Dripping Into Orbit”

I was going to wash the dishes yesterday. I was going to clean up all the empty beer bottles. I was going to empty the cat’s shitbox. I was going to take a shower. I was going to clip my toenails. I was going to scrub away that brown ring of fury that has been making the toilet an unpleasant thing to look at/sit on. I did none of these things. Instead I listened to this riff (0:14.) and walked around pretending to be an automaton all day. An automaton with a messy apartment and unsightly toenails.


Lacertilian

Execration – “Cosmic Mausoleum”

After one of my favourite album introductions of recent years which sees the band progress from the confines of the heliosphere to beyond the Oort cloud, Execration hit some interstellar turbulence at 3:50 and ride it on out into the black celestial crypt.


This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 12-05-2017 20:22:33
end_date 19-05-2017 23:59:59
Poll Results:
Whoom?

Next week, we’re going to be celebrating the fancy new site design. In contrast to the primal riff edition from last week, we’re going to be looking for FANCY RIFFS. Impress us by sending your fanciest riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com, along with your screen-name, a time-stamp of the riff, and short description of why you chose it. You only have until Friday so get cracking.


(Header image = Crescent Tethys and Saturn, via)

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  • Riboflavin dreams

    VIRUS

    • Señor Jefe El Rossover

      SCOURGE OF IRON

      • Riboflavin dreams

        Cannibal Corpse is the loudest form of sleeping aid

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      That one brings the Ved Buens Ende hard.

      • Eliza

        And I love it for that.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          Quite logical, since two of Virus’ members are ex-Ved Buens Ende.
          Main difference is that Ved Buens Ende riffs were art rock with metal distortion, while quite some Virus stuff doesn’t really care for metal distortion and just goes full on art rock. Ved Buens Ende also sounds more unnerving and darker imo.
          Still, you don’t really find a lot of these kinda riffs elsewhere.

          • Eliza

            I’m glad this weird stuff exists, so I can enjoy it for being so weird.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I don’t know to which extent you’ve explored the back catalogue of “weird metal” – outside of course the more obvious names like Voivod, Maudlin of the Well, Blut Aus Nord, Demilich, Disembowelment, Pan.Thy.Monium, Sigh, Esoteric, Timeghoul, Ved Buens Ende, Portal, Morbus Chron… – but here are two notorious cult classics of that ilk as well.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufJsyKjbI1E

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqYkKJLLzbk

          • Eliza

            Thanks for all the recommendations!

          • *pushes glasses up nose*
            *sips green tea*
            “Only Czral is from Ved Buens Ende.”
            *poops*

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yes and no. Plenum played bass with Ved Buens Ende for a short time.

          • Well shit.

          • Since Plenum is not on any of the recordings and contributed nothing to the VBE that we know and love, I stand firm in my tea-sipping and pooping.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            …but my statement still has a correctness of 10% – which counts for something.

          • I shall bequeath unto you 10% of my RotW winnings.

      • NO IT BRINGS THE VIRUS HARD

    • Lacertilian
  • I forgot to submit 🙁

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw-6IIBXNSQ

    My vote goes for tigeraid.

    • Eliza

      Tigeraid’s pick is awesome, I agree.

    • Link are you a fan of all Cynic material? or do you have a particular favorite album?

      • I was a huge Paul Masvidal fanboy, until that incident happened.

        So far, I still love their entire catalog, but what happened made me spin them less and less. I think Traced in Air is my personal favorite, but the demos and Focus are legendary as well.

        Their last output was super enjoyable to me, too!

  • Akerskronks ov Steele

    I forgot to submit as well 🙁 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E78uUMdK48

    • Igor Javutich

      Pretty much any song on this EP would’ve been perfect. I’m very upset that this band broke up.

  • Akerskronks ov Steele

    Also I’m surprised Vektor did not make it here. Unless that would be considered cheating.

  • The sleeping bag scene in Jason X: Jason Goes to Space was my backup submission.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ac8e8fce45747f1ad0e3c1b80ad24ae073fbbf9a55bb673c96e8dd2ab9484298.gif

  • Igor Javutich
    • Eliza

      Good idea. Should’ve submitted it.

      • Igor Javutich

        Low hanging fruit.

        • Eliza

          That’s true. Doesn’t make it less awesome though.

  • hey Hans! that Dephosphorus is incredible. i have never heard of them before. daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!

    • Hans

      This makes me a happy Hans.

    • Óðinn

      It’s good.

    • I must begrudgingly concede your point. Question is: Is it better than Execration?

      • Hans

        Yes. (Full disclosure: I’m biased.)

      • you have the same quandary that i do. Execration is wonderful, and the lizard who introduced them to me is wonderful.

  • The Tetrachord of Archytas
  • Igor Javutich
    • Óðinn

      Thick. Heavy. Riffs.

      • Igor Javutich

        If you want to hear ‘Dopesmoker’ but only have 8 minutes to spare, just play this.

        • Óðinn

          Haha! It’s true.

  • Depechemodeisgangsta

    Had to go with Terminus, because that really felt like i was on a spaceship going in to the unknown.
    (P.S. Cool new look)

  • Hans

    The Rich Bitch cause he so wonky.

    Also, I really want Gorak to win next week.

  • Igor Javutich

    That Bear Mace is pretty good.

    • Óðinn

      Yeah, I didn’t mind that.

      “Lyrical Themes: War, Death, Bears” – The Metal Archives

  • Óðinn

    Remember this? Pepperidge Farms remembers ….and I remember too, apparently.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg9trkhOsAI

    • Depechemodeisgangsta

      I was shocked nobody submitted a Voivod song.

      • Óðinn

        I was a bit surprised too. No Vektor, no Voivod, nobody submitted Spacegrass by Clutch. Some deeper cuts though, great stuff. Toilet dwellers know their Metal.

  • Sid Vicious Promos

    I can’t decide which is best.

  • IronLawnmower

    Voted Terminus to support my scene.

  • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ
  • Señor Jefe El Rossover

    This one goes out to my man KJM:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaK4r0pQaJ0

  • JWG
  • JWG
  • JWG
  • Lizard, that last paragraph was beautiful.

    • Lacertilian

      Some of it even made sense!
      Sorta.