Riff Of The Week: Solar Edition

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Brought to you by Melanomas® – “Look on the bright side!


Shit got real last week in our Nuclear Edition. The vying participants took up the arms race challenge with a concerning degree of zeal. After a week we were left with one of the closest all-round results in recent memory. Fittingly, Nuclear Assault (via Richter) were the first to reach critical mass and take out those who opposed. Had Lord Borkington and Ted Nüsevelt combined forces with their identical Megadeth riff submissions they could have shared the victory, but as I am a bastard who kept them seperate they opted for mutually assured destruction instead, it was not to be.

This week, in honour of the recent solar eclipse we asked for sun themed riffs and you brought the fucking heat with some big names. This one could even outshine last week’s immense isotopic glow. Make sure you use the PROMO CODE GLINT after voting to get a free trial tube of PileCo’s new and improved Carpet Fibre Regrowth Cream™ (the only textile treatment no longer tested on animals). Time to riff!


Positronic Brain

Goatwhore – “Apocalyptic Havoc” (Riff @ 0:00)

The lyrics to this song describe the events of Revelation 6, mentioning specifically the opening of the 4th seal from Rev. 6:7-8 (“Watch the skies as hell comes riding in on a horse of pale to name this wrath”) and alluding to the opening of the 6th seal in Rev. 6:12 where the Sun becomes “black as sackcloth” (“a timeless torture foretold in a sky of black”). The opening riff is one of the baddest motherfuckin’ riffs ever written, and this is probably the most creative I’ll ever get with a RotW submission.


TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

Immortal – “Solarfall” (Riff @ 0:35)

SHUT UP!!! SOLARFALL!!!


Ted Nü-Djent

Nechochwen – “Lost On The Trail Of The Setting Sun” (Riff @ 0:36)

The riff at 0.36 and 4.23 in Nechochwen’s Lost On The Trail Of The Setting Sun is just one of many stellar riffs on 2015’s Heart of Akamon. I’ve seen Nechochwen show up in a few haul posts lately which made me revisit this album. If you have slept on this, wake up and grab yourself a copy.


tigeraid

Dio – “Sunset Superman” (Riff @ 0:45)

In case you need a reminder that the greatest vocalist of all-time also had some pretty killer riffs in his tunes: a perfect driving riff starts at 0:45 and continues throughout.


Hans

Flourishing – “A Living Sundial” (Riff @ 3:37)

Flourishing got more bonkers with every release in their woefully short discography, and their final EP has some properly unsettling skronkiness. This song is full of swirling, mesmerizingly chaotic guitar work, but due to being a simpleton, the riff that starts at 3:02 (but the iteration at 3:37 is a wee bit cooler) is the one that always sticks in my mind. Do yourself a favour though and listen to the opening of the song. In fact, listen to the whole EP, all of which is conveniently linked here.


GrumpDumpus

Blood Incantation – “Starspawn” (Riff @ 1:35)

BLOOD INCANTATION’S STARSPAWN SCORCHES MY CATARACT-RIDDEN RETINAS INTO SMOLDERING CRISPS WITH THE ULTRAVIOLET RIFF AT 1:35….THOUGH REALISTICALLY I COULD ALSO SUBMIT THE OTHER 1,746,702 RIFFS ON THE ALBUM WHICH ALSO CAUSE A TOTAL ECLIPSE OF MY PACEMAKER


xtuffxghostx

Sleep – “Inside the Sun” (Riff @ 1:07)

What’s more appropriate for a sun riff than one that sounds like being crushed within the sun itself? While the main riff rips as well, at 1:07 when Sleep slows it down you can feel the energy contained within the nuclear furnace of our star, as well as the crushing weight of 99.8% of the solar system’s mass.


inrigg266

Suffocation – “Despise The Sun” (Riff @ 1:58)

The riff that starts at the 1:58 minute mark is a gnarly one. It starts out pretty clean then around 2:20 it builds into the storm of chaos that Suffocation does so well. Not bad for 1998.


HD

Immortal – “Solarfall” (Riff @ 0:00)

Mid-era Immortal brought the traditional heavy metal riffing like it was going out of style (it actually was going out of style at the time, but I’m not going to let that get in the way of using this cliché simile). At The Heart of Winter is a huge, epic, triumphant, [insert gratuitous modifier]-beast of album, and this track is a perfect example of what makes it so good. There’s pretty much never a moment without a killer riff (apart from a stretch with a dreamy little interlude a few minutes in). But the intro riffs are particularly killer. Press play and enjoy.”


Megadead

Down – “3 Suns And 1 Star” (Riff @ 2:52)

My first contribution to the Riff of the Week, and the obvious winner (I mean the title contains the word ‘sun’ in it!!! What do you want from me?).


Lacertilian

Meshuggah – “Behind The Sun” (Riff @ 0:20)

Seeing as though everyone’s pulled out the big names today, I’ve swapped out some niche selection for a fucking monster from messrs Thordendal & Hagström. The slowly morphing corona surrounding the ominous orb eventually bursts open, forming an arching prominence that bends back on itself, its gravitational lens distorting both time and space. Get bent @ 0:20.


This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 25-08-2017 20:22:33
end_date 09-01-2017 23:59:59
Poll Results:
Who?

Next week, in the interests of laziness celestial balance, we’re going to be doing lunar riffs. The theme is MOON. Send your entries to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com by Friday, being sure to include your screen-name and a short description with a time-stamp of when the riff starts.

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  • Dubby Fresh

    Lizardman, The Shugg’s singer, Jens Kidman, actually wrote that track 🙂

    • Lacertilian

      Interesting, didn’t realise he contributed much in the way of the music.
      [Respect intensifies]

      • Dubby Fresh

        He was actually their rhythm guitarist when they started out, but he eventually switched to just vocals. He still has a guitar endorsement and his own line.

        • Lacertilian

          That’s nuts. I knew he played at one point but still having endorsements is pretty funny. Just looking at the writing credits it seems he only has done this particular song recently. Kind of wanna hear more of his shit if it’s this quality, has a little bit of a different vibe to their typical style.

          • Dubby Fresh

            Indeed. I think it’s pretty obvious each band member has a somewhat distinct style within the whole. The Violent Sleep of Reason was written almost entirely by the band’s rhythm section (including the first ever writing credits for their bassist Dick Lovgren), and as such it feels much more rhythmically complicated than most of what they’ve done before, at the cost of the guitars, IMO.

          • TheCheezFace

            I still haven’t listened to that album, I should really get on that. But I know a lot of people listen to Meshuggah for the groove.

          • Dubby Fresh

            The rhythmic work is pretty dizzying if you can focus on that!

      • Brutalist_Receptacle

        DEAR @Lacertilian:disqus THANK YOU FOR PUTTING ALL OF THIS IN MY AUDITORY MEATUS & CANALZ I MEAN IT

        • Lacertilian

          YOU’RE VERY WELCOME @brutalist_receptacle:disqus

  • Señor Jefe El Rossover

    Gotdang! Tough choices yet again. Was going to vote Immortal, but since its there twice that’s not gonna happen.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Don’t let my hot take earlier today sway your decision 😂

      • Dubby Fresh

        He’s still reeling from it

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          I can’t post comments on Facebook atm. I have a feeling that somoeone, not naming names, may have reported me for online bullying.

          • Dubby Fresh

            Nah, FB is ackin rill weird today

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Damn, I was hoping something more sinister was afoot 🤷‍♂️

      • Señor Jefe El Rossover

        You’re never getting another vote from me ever again.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          Don’t vote for me or my son ever again. I’ll test your decision by submitting nothing but Clutch riffs from here on out 😀

    • Howard Dean

      Boss plz! Solarfall it’s the best submission. It’s a track so nice it was submitted twice! (But vote for me.)

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Damn, I totally skimmed over Milfs identical pick. Oh well, no take backsies (not that I would).

        • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

          Is not identical. We picked different riffs from the same song. Howard picked the opening riff, I picked the one that comes after that

      • Señor Jefe El Rossover

        That is certainly their riffiest album. But when in doubt, vote for Matt Pike.

    • Brutalist_Receptacle

      BRTUALIST JR’s FIRST WORDS WERE: “SHUT UP SOLARFALL!”

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    I think I’ll vote Howy. Yeah, I vote Howy. On a side note, I’m seeing BI in about 3 weeks so Grumpus’ submission is a reminder that I should give that album another try.

    • IN OUTER SPACE NO ONE CAN HEAR ALBUM GIVES *YOU* ANOTHER TRY

  • Eliza

    So, I’m supposed to choose only one of all these tracks?
    https://media.giphy.com/media/11mg18l2JvX1TO/200.gif

  • Megadead™

    Screw you all! I’m voting for myself!

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™
      • Megadead™

        WTF? Mine works fine. Is Down banned in your silly country?

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          I mean sure I could look for another version that’s available but it’s past 1am and I’m bouncing between here, Netflix and (the reason I’m still up) dealing with a sick 5 year old who’s waking up every 10 minutes crying and almost throwing up because he’s having coughing fits.

          • Eliza

            God tier multitasking.

      • Eliza

        “This video is not available” is in my top 10 most infuriating phrases.

    • Eliza

      Probably unethical, but also kind of clever.

    • Sgt. Al Powell

      You know, when you’re a rookie, they can teach you everything about bein’ a cop except how to live with a mistake.

    • TheCheezFace

      Do what you gotta do.

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    I’m getting this out of my system now so I don’t submit it next week
    https://youtu.be/bnNWUUZ7cEA

  • Never heard of Flourishing. That shit is giving me nightmares. And I just woke up. (Thanks Hans.)

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Only fools sail away from picking Sunshine Superman!

  • GoatForest

    Dooooooooown! I support your choice, Megadead.

  • High on Vallenfyre

    Who needs a God, when you’ve got Satan?

    • GoatForest

      Best. Line. Ever.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Good as in cheesy af?

        • GoatForest

          Yes, but it’s also just fun and very metal.

  • JWG

    Couldn’t decide on a timestamp so didn’t submit:

    https://youtu.be/xh_jmGGoXvg

    Has technically more than one ‘main’ riff as different parts of the tune have their own big lumbering dissonant central one.

    Maybe the one that sounds a bit like it’s intended to be a solo?

  • more beer

    Gotta go with the local band and go with Blood Incantation.

    • GoatForest

      That was one of the reasons I went for Down. 🙂

      • more beer

        Gotta support your local scene!

        • Señor Jefe El Rossover

          That and Blood Incantation absolutely SLAYS

  • Depechemodeisgangsta

    I have to go with SLEEP, i thought it was the best regarding the theme, but very hard choices, between DOWN, Goathwore and Meshuggah.

  • Bert

    Elmo informs me that @Lacertilian’s comment of…

    “The slowly morphing corona surrounding the ominous orb eventually bursts open, forming an arching prominence that bends back on itself, its gravitational lens distorting both time and space.”

    …is largely bogus.

    Elmo says “While the corona is the atmosphere surrounding the sun and indeed morphs, it is not the origin of prominences. The plasma that forms a prominence erupts from the sun’s surface and follows lines of magnetic fields, often seen to loop back towards the surface.”

    He also says “What the fuzzball Gravitational Lensing has to do with prominences and coronas is beyond me”, gravitational lensing, of course, having nothing to with prominences and suchlike.

    I did tell him he was a smart-ass but just to keep him quiet, and for accuracy, I have relayed this information to you all. Please bear with him. Thanks.

  • Lord of Bork

    Forgot to submit this monster of a track this week.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79AdgZrkAX8

  • Óðinn
  • Jeff Manteiga

    I love that Nechochjwen record, but had to vote Blood Incantation…v conflicted by what I’ve done.

  • QUICK EVERYONE SUBMIT THE SAME RIFFS FROM SAMAEL’S PASSAGE SO WE ALL GET MOON-BONED