Riff of the Week: Rap Metal Edition

Rap singer man with microphone cool hand gesture Royalty Free Stock Photo

Greetings, friends. I, Masterlord have returned to take charge of the only worthwhile thing I have ever thought of in my entire life. Joe, in his infinite glory, won last week’s competition and stuck me with this just really, really great theme.

Next week, let us cleanse our palettes of this foul refuse. I will only be accepting DEATH METAL RIFFS FROM THE LATE 80’s EARLY 90’s, boyyyy. Let’s call ’95 the cutoff year. Deal?

Send your riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your name, a link to the riff, the time of the riff, and an explanation. If you have an idea for a theme, do let me know. Joe likes them. He likes themes.

 

Eliza

The riff that starts at 0:19 makes me want to shake my fist into the air at the enemy, whatever invisible entity it may be.

 

Blackbeard

Ill just share this win with whoever else submits it. @3:50, get shot.

 

Zeke

Yo masterpantz best post this shit or he might get smoked by da ETAC! Y’all toilet mothafukas best be votin for this or ya might be gettin rekt too! Recognize!

 

Special Agent Dale Cooper

Mr. Bungle and samples from the greatest movie ever made. That is all, no explanation needed.

 

Richter

Is Solefald rapping here? I don’t know. Sounds like blackened rapping to me. That can be a thing, right? No? Too bad, you’ve been vetoed. Blackened rapping is now a thing. Example: 2:22.

 

The Dude

Not sure if this counts as rap metal but Kerry King played on it, so that’s gotta count for something right? Riff starts as soon as the song plays but you already knew that, and if Beastie Boys doesn’t have special place in your childhood heart then you have no soul.

 

Boss the Ross

JUMP IN THE PIT AND SLAM! 2:10 to finish.

 

Ellipsis

Slip into your favorite pair of jorts, turn that cap backwards and flip your parents off as you head out to blast this sic (sic) riff @2:19, from your van while yelling “Gonna take that bootie to the nudie dimension!!!” at any female unfortunate enough to walk past you at the gas station parking lot…

 

Tigeraid

This week’s RotW deserves this. You all deserve this.

 

Vegglampe

Is this a Public Enemy pick or a Slayer pick?

 

Ted Nü-Djent

At first I wanted to submit a Stuck Mojo song just for Joe seeing as how much he loves them (and possibly getting an opportunity to see if calling him Stuck Mojoe would stick), but fuck it, I’ll play. Intro riff about 10 seconds in on the video

 

Gorak

THIS RIFF OV WEEK THEME IS DEFINITELY A PUNISHMENT!!!!!!!!!! 1:40

 

Waynecro

My familiarity with rap metal doesn’t really extend beyond Machine Head’s The Burning Red (I really like that album; no fucks given). But I decided to skip an obvious pick and submit this weird Japanese thing by Maximum the Hormone. This video is pretty funny, and the breakdown riff at 2:03 is pretty sweet (especially with screams over it at 2:36).

_____________________

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 03-06-2016 20:22:33
end_date 10-06-2016 20:22:33
Poll Results:
...

Written by:

Published on: June 4, 2016

Filled Under: Riff of the Week

Views: 1261

  • tigeraid

    Eliza gets my vote because RatM rules forever and always, and the rest of these are a fucking crime against humanity. And Beastie Boyz are great but they’re not really rap-metal, I don’t feel.

    And I’m really bummed about Ali’s passing. 🙁

  • Maik Beninton™
  • Mother Shabubu

    Trick Riff O’ the Week: if you choose any of them, you’re wrong. Masterlord set up a poser test.

    • EsusMoose

      Little did he know he was the poser all along

      • Mother Shabubu

        He who does not claim to belong cannot pose.

        • EsusMoose

          The mastercoral can pose like the great barrier reef.

          • Mother Shabubu

            I’m more like a benign tumor. I’m not actually harmful, I’m just kinda there.

  • Maik Beninton™

    Waynecro, I also like The Burning Red, and your pick is good.

    • CyberneticOrganism
      • Eliza

        Tubular!

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Sssssssmokin’! #outdatedslang

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            Something something “haterade” something something.

    • Waynecro

      Thanks, man! The Burning Red has a few strong jams and conjures up a lot of good memories from when I was 16. I can’t help but like it.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        I too enjoy a few tracks from TBR. Still haven’t heard Supercharger though

        • Waynecro

          Supercharger isn’t bad. It jams pretty hard at times, despite being kinda nu metal. “American High” is a good cardio song.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I’m sure it is but at this point in my life, I don’t see the point in returning to a 20 year old marginilised album

          • Waynecro

            You’re not missing much.

  • Abradolf Lincler

    i have decided to return, reborn

    • Maik Beninton™

      New novelty account?

    • Mother Shabubu

      Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!

    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      Byaaaaaaaaaa?

      • Abradolf Lincler

        nope

        • Elegant Gazing Globe

          Thank goodness

  • Maik Beninton™

    I expected Faith no More here.

    • Mother Shabubu

      You want it all Maik, but you can’t have it.

      • Maik Beninton™

        I really thought someone would submit Epic and win.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          Faith No More aren’t rap metal though. Neither is Mr Bungle for that matter

          • Mother Shabubu

            “Funk metal” or “alternative metal” for FNM. Bungle is just a genre klausterfokken.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I wouldn’t even include the metal part

          • Mother Shabubu

            I usually describe it as “Faith No More”. Easier that way.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Like Sunday morning?

          • Scrimm

            Wouldn’t call them rap metal either…….

    • ME GORAK B.C.™

      FAITH NO MORE ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!
      https://youtu.be/7GnGwlBRe7w

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      This clown would be ok with no more faith no more…felt that way in 1989 too.

  • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

    I guess my submission was too awful even for this stinkfest. :-p

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8F5YSA1Oz0

    • Eliza

      I have a deep feeling I’ll regret asking, but what exactly did you submit?

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        Refresh for video, I just added it to the post.

        • Hans Müller

          Christ on a bike… how much do models get paid to be yelled at by a bicolour mop?

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            Those models probably got paid in Kim Kardashian emojis.

        • Eliza

          Did that. Let’s see…

          IN THE NAME OF EVERYTHING THAT IS DECENT IN THIS WORLD, WHY DOES THIS ABOMINATION EXIST???!!!!!

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            Mwahahahahahaha, I went for the absolute worst thing I could possibly think of!

          • Eliza

            You really didn’t exaggerate when you said it would be worse that Attila.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      What have you done? This is an affront to god.

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        Mwahahahahahaha!!!!!

        http://i.imgur.com/wrqXwL6.gif

        How far did you get into the song? I’d be amazed if anyone made it past 45 seconds. I painfully sat through the whole thing.

        • Eliza

          I got to the 55 seconds mark, but I stopped it there to protect my ears from intense bleeding.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I sat through a second of it once. Never again.

    • yes. i feel like anyone would have skipped this.

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        As they should, or could’ve voted it for the sheer lolbuttz factor.

    • brokensnow

      sssooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo baaadddddddddd.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Save that for if WOTW ever returns

  • Hans Müller

    Is it cool to vote if I can’t see all the submissions? I mean, do I need to? How could anything be better than Maximum the Hormone? All my love to Waynecro.

    • Waynecro

      Thanks, dude. MTH is such a weird and awesome band.

  • Elegant Gazing Globe

    Riff idea: Best riff from your favorite band’s shittiest album.

    • EsusMoose

      That’d be pain

      • Elegant Gazing Globe

        Uh huh

        • EsusMoose

          Also may give ideas for masterlord’s guess toileters favorites competition in the Facebook group so I’m all for this

    • ME GORAK B.C.™
      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        Eddie’s sporting a total “hue hue hue hue” face on that one!

      • Scrimm

        I would pick Maiden too, but then I’d have to liten to NPFTD again to find said best riff. been a loooooong time

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Angel.And The Gambler has better riffs

        • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

          The best Kenny Rogers cover of all time.

    • tertius_decimus

      Too easy. Cryptopsy’s abominable “The Unspoken King” will win no matter what.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Considered shittiest by whom? By yourself or by general consensus?

  • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

    I’m doing the right/weeby thing and voting Waynecro.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      WAYNECRO’16

      • Waynecro

        BOSS THE ROSS ∞

    • Eliza

      So did I. The visuals from the Death Note came to mind as I was listening to the song. Nostalgia got the best of me.

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        Loves me some Death Note! I didn’t think of that though when I saw the video. I was thinking more like Jupiter or well, every other Visual Kei band out there.

        • Eliza

          Well, the first time I’ve ever heard of Maximum the Hormone was in Death Note. I really liked the song then and I still do. Same thing applies to Death Note.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            I heard they made a sequel, but I could never find it years ago. I might have to look again. The guy who played the police chief was the host on Iron Chef Japan, btw.

          • Eliza

            Never heard of this sequel. I’ve never seen he live action adaptations.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            Oh, ok! I’ve seen both, but liked the live action one better.

          • Eliza

            Seriously? I may give them a watch.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            very strong starting anime, ends pretty weak

          • Eliza

            I actually liked the last episode, but the couple ones that led to it I admit were not very good.

        • brokensnow

          Jupiter rocks. Encyclopdium Metallum is quite the rabbit hole, lol.

      • Waynecro

        The albums MTH did before they got on Death Note are really good as well, though they sound very little like “Zetsubou Billy” and “What’s Up People.”

      • Special Agent Dale Cooper

        Same, Death Note is beast (well, at least until spoiler dies).
        Thank God the Black Lodge has Netflix so I can watch it over here.

    • Waynecro

      It’s hardly weeby. MTH is a pretty swell band with or without the anime connection. Also, they always have funny/utterly bizarre music videos. Have you seen some of the newer ones? Baffling.

  • Scrimm

    I can’t believe the list isn’t full of Body Count

    • Abradolf Lincler

      Pretty obvious to me my pick is the real choice

    • Hans Müller

      Umm that’s “Body Motherfucking Count”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZbRQUCqyLE

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        Umm that’s BODY COUNT BODY MOTHAFUCKIN COUNT BODY COUNT BODY MOTHAFUCKIN COUNT BODY COUNT BODY MOTHAFUCKIN COUNT BODY COUNT BODY MOTHAFUCKIN COUNT BODY COUNT BODY MOTHAFUCKIN COUNT BODY COUNT BODY MOTHAFUCKIN COUNT BODY COUNT BODY MOTHAFUCKIN COUNT BODY COUNT BODY MOTHAFUCKIN COUNT

        • Scrimm

          Unironically love a lot of this bands stuff

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            I love everything Ice-T does. Rap, metal, acting, it’s all cool with me.

          • Scrimm

            Pretty much

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Scrimm>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

            Yep

          • Scrimm

            Right back at you!!

          • Dubs

            You’re my hero of the day.

          • more beer

            Ice is the man.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Ice-T is equally horrible at each. Ice Tea on the other hand…

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™
          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            YEP

        • Hans Müller

          And that’s it for Week 1 of Lyrics 101 witch Ice-T.
          Week 2: How to continuously talk about murdering cops.
          Week 3: How to sorta get into acting and then play a cop on a TV show.

          • He did a radio interview on the local station in which he equated his lyrics about killing cops to Cannibal Corpse’s lyrics. It was a good talk.

  • Elegant Gazing Globe
    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      I thought about this after I submitted mine. With great regret

  • EsusMoose

    Helping people move <<<<

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      asking people to help you move <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

      • EsusMoose

        Oh god that’d be pain, I helped a sibling so it was obligatory for me to help but asking people to help would suck

        • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

          Siblings and close friends no problem. I used to move furniture for a living, EVERYBODY was my friend. LOL.

          I had a guy I knew informally were were acquaintances who bought a house recently in NC he was moving from Jersey. We’ve never hung out, had lunch watched a game and he had the balls to ask me if I wanted to help him one day when I asked how the arrangements were going.

  • This RotW reminds me that I need to go clean my toilets . . .

  • Berit Dogg

    Damn. Should have submitted this:
    https://youtu.be/UcQFt-0iBQU
    Beat THAT riff if you can.

    • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

      I see your riff and raise you a track with Ozzy actually trying to rap along side Kim Basinger.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpUt1KBpCBQ

      • Berit Dogg

        Aaargh! Let’s not let this escalate into a competition in embarrasing Ozzy moments, that would be fucking horrible. Iommi out-riffs Basinger in my book though. Let’s agree to disagree 😛

        • Eliza

          I firmly believe Iommi can out-riff anyone.

  • Eliza

    Next week’s theme is something I can get behind.

    • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

      There’s probably already 5 people who submitted Death, and a couple who sent Deicide.

      • Eliza

        I’ll probably go the Death route too.

      • Hans Müller

        And something Swedish, surely? Would be surprised if there was no Entombed.

        • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

          And of course, In Flames.

          • Eliza

            I’d be cool to see something by Edge of Sanity too. I might change my mind about sending Death.

          • Scrimm

            I’ll take EOS over Death any day

          • Hans Müller

            At the Gates?
            Maybe I’ll submit some Grave; people like an underdog, right?

          • Scrimm

            Submitting Grave is a good choice, doesn’t happen near enough.

  • Hans Müller

    Great riff + people gettin the pit started. Sadly not on YouTube.

    https://www.tape.tv/cypress-hill/videos/cant-get-the-best-of-me?hl=de

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    Dammit DUDE! DAMMIT VEGGLAMPE!
    I didn’t know those counted.

  • Hans Müller

    I had forgotten that Hot Action Cop song. I was happy. All good things must end.

  • Rob M

    *Sees this is a rap metal edition..slowly backs out of the thread

    • ME GORAK B.C.™
      • Hans Müller

        Nope. Not good enough anymore now that we’ve seen the supreme version of that gif in the Megadeth post.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Truth

        • Lacertilian

          I’ve always been partial to the pizza themed one.

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      what is this “wrap” of which they speak?

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    When in doubt… vote Public Enemy.

  • ONLY THREE DOLLAR BILL Y’ALL IS REAL
    (i’m being totally sincere here, ya dummies)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDdGrlylcEU

  • ♫ NO. SLEEP. TILL I’M DONE COOKING. ♫
    -Lizardbro

    • Lacertilian

      ..

  • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

    Surprised that no one submitted this long forgotten upper decker flusher.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywq-UXxPao4

    • Eliza

      This should be forgotten.

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        The movie it was on (Biker Boys) is just as bad.

        • Eliza

          The title alone suggest some XTREEM awfulness.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            It was basically a really bad Fast And The Furious ripoff. So, a ripoff of an already horrible series.

          • Eliza

            Knowing is more that enough to keep me away from that movie.

    • holy s**t. this just gave me SIDS. speaking of the lolbuttz factor…

      • Eliza

        I think this is the Metallica collaboration worse that Lulu.

        • LuLu at least made me laugh. and yes, i sat through every second of it. both are definitely cringe-worthy tho!

          • Eliza

            To me this song is the laughably bad thing, not so say there weren’t moments of Lulu that were hysterical, but I think that Lulu was bad in such a way that you could learn from it on how not to make an album.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            Everything Metallica’s done from Load onwards is How Not To Make An Album 101.

          • Eliza

            Reload and Garage Inc. weren’t that terrible, just bland. Death Magnetic had some really good moments. St. Anger and Lulu are borderline unlistenable at times.

          • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

            Lol, I can picture that old South Park skit about Rob Schneider, but with James Hetfield.
            “This summer, James Hetfield is going to learn that being a table isn’t all it’s cracked up to be”.

    • Hans Müller

      What do they even mean, “did it again”? Had shit like this happened before? If you’re gonna do shit like this, you deserve to have your riffs stolen by Kid Rock. And Green Jelly.

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        Green Jelly >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> anything Metallica did after AJFA.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    The man who was so mean he made medicine sick has died. RIP Ali.

  • Warheart

    WHY?

  • Abradolf Lincler

    I am going to give Eliza my vote because I’d like to see her win

  • brokensnow

    L love me so MAXIMUM. E.Town has some good uns. Stuck mojo and hot action were neat for 8 seconds in 7th grade. Biohazard , rage and PE are legit. suprised no one posted Hed P.E.

  • more beer

    This is considered the first song to mix metal and rap. It starts out Dr. Seuss and about 1:13 turns into their own version of Run DMC’s rock box. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F4EqeyDNrQ

  • more beer

    I should have just submitted this whole album. Hard from beginning to end.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAcx-nWHRZU&index=1&list=PLYXecqhx7y1-RywTGHCJQqXODQ-hW7Hrc

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      I can dig this!

      • more beer

        Fuck yea. Hard as fuck.

  • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

    Bwahahahahaha, I almost forgot about this one!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awvqIi427_A

    • tertius_decimus

      Flawless victory.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      “Yo this is X to tha Z Xzibit, welcome to another edition of Pimp My Shitty Power Metal Video!”

      • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

        They just opened the door to so many possibilities. I look forward to:

        – Nightwish Ft. Biz Markie
        – Tarja covering Too Short (who wouldn’t want to hear her sing Blowjob Betty?)

        – Kamelot Ft. IceJJFish

        – Amberian Dawn covering Macho Man Randy Savage’s rap CD

  • JWEG

    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/l30.gif

    Well. Okay. A few good choices made by severely bending the criteria. It’s definitely going to be a landslide victory for MTH though.

    • Waynecro

      I didn’t expect MTH to get a single vote.

  • CT-12
    • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

      Good pick! IIRC, they got back together not too long ago.

      • CT-12

        You would be correct

  • Pentagram Sam

    Flipped a pick for this one. Toss up between Guerilla Radio and Body Count. I actually enjoy it when Rage Against The Machine gets played while switching cds. Still remember rockin to Evil Empire back in mid nineties land.

    Anyone see Ice T in Surviving The Game? Has Rutger Hauer and Garey Busey in it. Not bad, in fact, it’s pretttty good.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      will check dat out

  • Abradolf Lincler

    Since its Saturday, and I have a buzz.

    My dog got bit at the daycare and I will have to have a couple words tomorrow.

    Here’s BBs JJD moment for the week:
    https://youtu.be/bnVXIUyshng

  • Waynecro

    I can’t believe no one picked a riff from The Burning Red.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      you opted out bb

      • Waynecro

        I thought other people were going to pick the same riff I was thinking of.

        • Abradolf Lincler

          me too. you still win

          • Waynecro

            I honestly didn’t think MTH was going to get a single vote. But I like the band, and the song met this week’s criteria pretty well, I think.

  • CyberneticOrganism
  • Special Agent Dale Cooper

    MTH = instant vote from me.

  • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf
  • Count_Breznak

    ..at least noone brought up that 6FU/Ice-T collab.

    • Tronc McBeefyBeardloaf

      Gah, I forgot that that one even existed!