Riff of the Week — Postponed whoopsie daisy

Masterlord fails you once again.

I have to play this last minute show in the city so I don’t have time to compile and sort and deal with all your submissions. I’m genuinely almost sorry. But this doesn’t mean we have to stand around with our pants down on this beautiful Saturday (but it doesn’t mean we can’t either). We can have a contest in the comment section (the most upvotes win, yo). I’ll use your submissions next week, so don’t fret.

Also do me a favor and don’t tell Joe about this.

Here’s my riff. Bang those cute little heads of yours.

 

Written by:

Published on: March 19, 2016

Filled Under: Riff of the Week

Views: 1129

  • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

    Good morning toileteers! You now what time it is… RIFFS! Oh, wait, where’d they go? I don’t see any riffs. They’re gone. No RIFFS! What is going to happen today. It isn’t starting at all how I planned. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! It seems that i will stay locked in my room and stare at the walls. Into the Void I go.
    https://youtu.be/KcYYG2tEjCI

    • Stanley

      Go for a bike ride.

      • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

        Actually, that is something I would really like to get into. Reading you and Tyree talk about it has been an inspiration.

        But today is reserved for time with my parents and younger brother, which will include music, beer and bbq.
        I was just giving Masterlord some shit.

        • Stanley

          Do it!

          I’m just waiting for it to get light outside. It’s also a bit wet so I’ll have to put my mud guard on or wet ass.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcZKT7fa0gE

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            I will. I haven’t decided whether i want a street or a mountain bike though.

          • Get a hybrid bicycle and have a little of both.

          • Stanley

            Nah. Hybrids are good for fuck all. Except maybe going to the shop to get some milk. At least it won’t get stolen.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Go street. More speed.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            The extra wheels are a good idea.

          • I suck at mountain biking. I’m too much of a pussy to keep up with some of the people that do ride. Cross-bikes are cool though! You can use them for off road and on road.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            That’s probably what I’d end up doing.

          • This is my bike…

            http://i.imgur.com/O8BRb8w.jpg

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            Nice. If you don’t mind, how much did it cost?

          • It wasn’t cheap. But it’s a sturdy bike that will last a long time. This was about 3 grand brand new. Salsa “Vaya”.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            Ha, well, i think i might start with something a tad cheaper.

          • A decent Specialized will only run you about $500 or so. I have 4 different bike sellers within 5 minutes walk of my house so I can find good deals. Even the fancy schmancy bike shop has a clearance rack.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            I’m definitely going to look into it

          • Stanley

            My advice is to buy the best bike that you can afford – USED.

            You will get a much better bike for the money and if you have a good bike you are more likely to stick with it. Heavy bikes with sub-par componentary are quite good for collecting dust.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            I will keep that in mind, thank you for the advice.

          • Óðinn

            Yeah. I’ve found that cheap components generally perform too poorly for anyone who wants to ride regularly. However, an inexpensive steel frame, with the right components, can provide a decent daily rider. But, more expensive frames can perform and feel better, depending on what type of riding you want to do. I agree that just buying the least expensive, Walmart or Sears, bicycle is probably a waste of money for anyone who wants to ride regularly. You’ll end up upgrading components and spending more money withing a few weeks/months anyway.

          • Óðinn

            Double butted Salsa steel frames have a nice feel.

          • My whip:

          • Wicked! Single speed? I have one too, but it needs some serious work done.

          • Yep! Super easy for getting around the city quickly.

          • Somerville has too many hills. I need something with gear selection.

          • Óðinn

            Good city bike. The B15 saddle is a nice touch.

          • Óðinn

            Nice Salsa touring bike. *whistles* They make a Ti version of that bike too.

          • Stanley

            Unless you have a a good trail network close to where you live, I’d go with a road bike. Riding MTBs on the road ain’t no fun. At all.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            Good to know.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Damn, haven’t heard this in ages! I had a compilation with this song on there back in ’96.

        • My Specialized Hard Rock has not seen nearly enough use in recent months. Hopefully that will change in a few weeks.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            Do tell…

        • Óðinn
    • ME GORAK B.C.™

      SABBATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      https://youtu.be/Oq3V4tVvU2Y

      • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

        GORAK KNOW BEST!!!!

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Here’s my Riff: You can never have enough Deep Purple, especially when Shane Douglas of ECW used it as his theme.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZ_kez7WVUU

  • Pretty much any riff in this song. Just pick one. https://willowtip.bandcamp.com/track/klendathu

  • I present the Planet Caravan-esque ‘Suicide Journey’ from the latest Church Of Misery album. It’s the same riff through the whole 2 minutes with some great atmospheric touch-ups. Enjoy!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0vrhyD66uQ

    • Akerskronks ov Steele

      OMG

    • CT-12

      Dave Depraved>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    Can we fire Masterlord now?

    • Once Donald Trump takes over, yes.

    • Stanley

      Masterlord is kind. Masterlord wants us to go outside and play.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY
  • CyberneticOrganism
    • Dubs

      Did you dig this album? I remember it getting a lot of hype, then nothing.

      • DVRKBEVRD

        typical supergroup hype

        • more beer

          The term supergroup gets thrown around way to often. Blogs need to start calling it what it really is again. A side project.

    • Óðinn

      It’s a good album.

  • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

    Tapir and Tigeraid tied last week, in case anyone wanted to know.

    Mercyful Fate and Annhilator for the win.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Also, why the fuck does Deep Purple not play Child In Time anymore? Until that’s back in their setlist I will not see them.

    • Because they are collectively older than the age of the earth (6000 years)

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Its just wrong. That’s their best epic and they just don’t play it live.

        • They CAN’T play it live. Gillan is incapable of doing it.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Damnit.

    • Gillan could barely pull it off when I saw them in 1985. He’d kill himself trying to do it now.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Lucky. I haven’t seen them and I don’t plan on it if they don’t put it back in the setlist. Hopefully they play Woman From Tokyo or Burn at the very least

        • Welp, guess you’re not seeing them then.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Wait, they don’t play Woman From Tokyo or Burn? What do they play? Hopefully Highway Star and Speed King as well as Smoke On The Water.

          • In what reality would Gillan still be able to sing ‘Speed King’, Bizarro World?

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            Shallow Yellow is playing next week.

            Rfi

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I forgot how badly his voice was shot. For reasons beyond my understanding they play Hush though. I thought ever since Rod Evans toured with a fake Deep Purple that they would have not played his songs live.

          • ‘Hush’ is a cover tune anyway.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            That makes more sense.

          • Eliza

            But it’s one good cover.

          • Yep.

          • Well, they’ll play ‘Smoke’ cos that’s not hard for him to sing.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            That and the fact people would riot if they didn’t

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            No one would go.to see DP if they didn’t play Smoke On The Water

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Good. They also do play Highway Star still.

          • He can fudge the high notes on that one. They probably tune down as well.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            Could you imagine Purple in C#?
            HEAVY

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            C# >>>>>>>>>>>>

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            Oh yes.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            I don’t know why it is that I love C and C# tuning so much.

          • For me it’s two words; Black Sabbath.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Gorguts, My Dying Bride, Autopsy… But then, a lot of my favourite albums are in Eb, and for some reason playing that tuning doesn’t appeal to me as much as C does.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            Because it is HEAVY

          • Eliza

            Even I can sorta sing that.

          • And, with a little practice, damned near anybody can play the main riff on guitar.

          • Eliza

            I remember downloading a instructional app for guitar once and the two riffs that they had there for beginners were Smoke on the Water and Come as You Are. It’s really easy.

          • Also, Gillan sez he doesn’t think ‘Woman From Tokyo’ comes off well live.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I wouldn’t have known.

          • They played a piece of it when I saw them as part of a medley.

        • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

          I’m pretty sure those two songs would definitely be played.

        • Gillan’s not gonna sing a Coverdale song.

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        That must’ve been the last year they even tried doing it.

    • Dubs

      Mostly to spite you.

      • He’s such a prick, that Ian Gillan.

        • Dubs

          “There’s this kid in Poughkeepsie that would love if we played this. Let’s never do it.”

          • Zeke

            I love how a tiny shithole like Poughkeepsie has become so well known around this toilet on account of good ol vic

    • Eliza

      A shame that they’re not playing one of their best songs, but maybe those high notes can’t be hit anymore as they used to.

      • There’s no ‘maybe’ about it.

        • Eliza

          I think I’m trying to convince myself that there may be a “maybe”. I guess everyone gets old eventually…

          • I saw RJD about 9 months before he passed and he still had at least 80-85% of his range.

          • Eliza

            It’s a matter of how much you still practice as well, probably.

  • Akerskronks ov Steele
    • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

      Did you get The Haverchucks 7 inch with your Spirits vinyl?

      • I did. Still haven’t listened though.

        • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

          Nice, I wasn’t sure how many they sent out. Give it a spin when you get the chance, it’s fun.

  • Failure >>>>>>>>>>>

  • brokensnow

    One of my favorites,
    https://youtu.be/8lSpD7cd9Hg

  • Cold riffs. This song is full of them.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoZEWcZh5rE

    • Eliza

      I wish it wouldn’t be so sunny outside so that I could enjoy these cold riffs better.

      • I just got finished running 3 miles in strong cold winds. This album is hitting the spot right now.

        • Eliza

          Do you run because you like it or something?

          • I don’t think anyone really enjoys running. But if you want to stay in shape you have to do something. Running certainly works.

          • Eliza

            That’s true. I was thinking about starting to do swimming regularly as it is the only sport I can practice.

          • That’s a good one, many different muscles get used.

          • Eliza

            And I don’t completely suck at it like with any other sports related thing.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            A well kept secret is that when I was younger (about 6 years old) I was a regional junior swimming champion. Won a few prizes, but for some reason I gave up on the sport quite early.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            Very intense workout. The only problem is that you can’t jam the metal simultaneously. Haha!

          • Eliza

            That never crossed my mind before, interestingly enough.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            I just thought about it myself.

          • That’s what makes stepper routines bearable. I can just slap on ‘Surrounded By Thieves'(one of my go-to stepper albums) and go.

          • Eliza

            I have a stepper too. I don’t know where it is though.

          • 30 minutes a day, 3-4 days a week.

          • Eliza

            50 minutes, whenever I feel like it.

          • As long as you do it at least a couple times a week.

          • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

            Hell yes! Jamming.

          • I certainly don’t enjoy using the stepper, but I think I would enjoy Diabetes and heart disease even less.

          • Scrimm

            I dunno man, I’ve known some people that were almost addicted to running. I really miss being able to do it, actually had just got back into it when I got hurt.

          • Zeke

            I think people are more addicted to the feeling of finishing a run; the run itself usually isn’t fun. but it’s not awful if the weather is nice and you have music that you’re I the mood to listen to

          • Scrimm

            There’s a lot of truth to that. I always ran so it was almost therapeutic in a way. Gave me a lot of time to think.

          • I’m sort of the same way. It still fucking hurts though. Guess, I’m addicted to pain.

          • Scrimm

            It’s a good hurt, and it’s pretty empowering when you push through that agony and keep going.

          • It’s the challenge of it that I get a rise out of. Push the limits.

          • Scrimm

            Used to do so much. Different terrain, especially stuff like mountain bike trails. When I was in the army few of us were trying to go for special forces selection and got into it hardcore. Strap a weight vest or heavy pack on the next time you go.

          • tigeraid

            I can’t do more than 10 minutes or so of sustained jogging because my knees give out. The pain is too much. I guess 12 years or so of carrying around almost 300 lbs did that to them. Even though I’m down to 195 now, they just can’t take it. I’m hopeful that will eventually get better.

          • Pentagram Sam

            Another good thing is do the elliptical machine at a gym and jack up the resistance an assload or do high intensity interval spurts. I’ve got big and flat ass feet and when I go full sprint, it sounds like you’re about to be …. AMBUSHED (geddit geddit) by something large and unstoppable. Used to scare the shit outta an old PE coach when I’d round the corner and come at him.

          • Scrimm

            Yeah machines can be great for interval training.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Running is awfully boring. I used to do it when I got to my yearly “cutting phase”. Now I substituted long distance runs for HIIT workouts. Less time consuming, less boring.

          • It’s not as boring when you have a good spot to run with good views. That’s why I like cycling more.

          • Scrimm

            Where you run is huge. I never could run on a treadmill for more than a couple miles, drove me nuts. I had to be outside

          • Treadmills and stationary bikes are boring as FUUUUCK!!!!!!

          • Scrimm

            Yeah fuck all that.

          • I thought running was boring but then I made the decision to listen to podcasts while I do it and it just makes the time pass a lot easier.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I’ve tried that too, but still the “when will this end” feeling remains.

          • tigeraid

            This. I don’t do much running, but my 90 lb weight loss came from 1-1.5hr walks with 10 minute spurts of jogging here and there, and Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History podcasts. That shit makes the time fly.

          • Yeah for whatever reason when I’m exerting myself physically I find that listening to music doesn’t often give me the focus or stimulation I need, no matter what playlist or album I put on.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Eh, I just stick with long walks. It’s about 2 miles to the grocery store, so lifting 4-5 bags worth of groceries another 2 miles back to the house twice a week is plenty of exercise for me. I’ve thought about getting back into jogging, but the 95-100 degree days are just around the corner over here.

          • I lost around 30 lbs just from brisk walking.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            It’s pretty much the one thing that keeps me in shape. That and a relatively healthy diet, which offsets my bad habits, kinda sorta.

          • Óðinn

            That’s too hot. Where are you living now?

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Southeast VA, just outside of Hampton and Williamsburg.

          • That why I bought the stepper, so I could get exercise no matter what the weather’s like.

          • Rob M

            No one should ever run unless somethings actually chasing them

          • Eliza

            I love this logic.

          • Haha, yeah. But I’ll be able to out run you fucker.

          • Rob M

            Dude…thats not friendship

          • Hahaha!

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        Speaking as someone who hasn’t seen sunlight for days, you don’t.

    • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

      I broke down and ordered Inverloch last weekend, mailmanbro delivered it yesterday. Heavy shit.

      • Goddamn, good for you man. That album is so bleak.

      • Eliza

        That one is fantastic, I just got around to listening to it recently as well.

    • What about some COLD BEERS BROSKI

    • DVRKBEVRD

      (i picked up a copy of that Flamen EP from HH)

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse
    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Oh yes, this album really tickles my pickle.

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        Paints some remarkable worlds does Vindsval. Love his sense of melody. Oddly, almost romantic at times.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          I love how on this album he succeeded in creating bleak, nightmarish as well as majestically beautiful sounds and moods, at times all within the course of one song, while still creating an actual black metal record instead of a bunch of ambient noises thrown together.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            He has the all important knack of actually being able to write good songs. Some “avant garde” black metal just seems like directionless creepiness to me, and doesn’t make it past a couple of listens.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Same here.

    • DVRKBEVRD

      excellent pick, i recent got this in my vinyl collection too

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        Nice!

        • DVRKBEVRD

          ill half most of their vinyl before long

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I’m a CD man myself, though I fancy getting a record player some day.

          • DVRKBEVRD

            so long as youre listening to BAN, Tapir and i have no problem

  • Rob M

    Productions cleaner than I usually like, but this rips pretty hard

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_z4lMRI4x4Y

  • Eliza

    I just discovered this band a few days ago and they have some interesting music
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Blku7HNOeiw

    • brokensnow

      groovy

    • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

      This crossed my path last week or so, thanks for the reminder.

      KJM get in on this.

      • Eliza

        I listened to this while folding laundry. It was the best laundry folding in recent memory.

        • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

          Haha! I hate folding laundry.

          • Eliza

            It’s a mind numbing activity. Thankfully, we have great music to make it tolerable.

  • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

    I know I’m a little late to the party, but Hyperion’s Seraphical Euphony is jamming. Anyone that has not listened to this album yet needs to do so.
    https://hyperionsweden.bandcamp.com/album/seraphical-euphony

  • DVRKBEVRD

    https://youtu.be/mRlFdgJKg24

    opening riff, these big ol racists do it right

    • *deafening fart noises*

      • DVRKBEVRD

        cant help it man, album is nonstop catchy riffy BM

        • I was told similar things about Arghoslent. They were misleading.

          • DVRKBEVRD

            srsly? some of the most riffiest DM out there

          • Melodeath, done to death.

          • DVRKBEVRD

            mmm, yeah i could see that sentiment. NOT
            https://youtu.be/AsECgXyPaow

          • Oh yes, it was this very album. There’s nothing unique going on here that I can’t get anywhere else, or find done better by at least 12 other bands. If they didn’t have this taboo appeal of being white supremacists who can play nominally better than the usual Nazi buttmunch outfit then they wouldn’t have much of a profile.

          • DVRKBEVRD

            i donno man, theres some good riffs in there.

            but fineeee, pick one outta here instead
            https://youtu.be/YnISJvoCBbI

          • Rob M

            Gotta agree with Blackbeard here, while Arghoslent are pretty unapologetic shitheads, I dont think many bands rock a riff like they do…The only ones I think that really play in the same ballpark, stylistically, are Sacriphyx and House of Atreus

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P39rLg8akFI

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Can’t much agree with you on that. Sure you just want them to be shit because of that exact sentiment? Because these absolutely horrible human pieces of garbage waste have made some of the riffiest (melodic) death metal out there.

          • I gave it an honest chance going in, I didn’t set out to hate it. But nothing stood out. It was just death metal played in a higher key than usual. Burzum has music with jumping a few hurdles for. Arghoslent does not.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            I’ve no difficulties seeing why people wouldn’t like it at all,
            But the done to death-thing and implications at generic I don’t really get.
            Apart from the aforementioned House of Atreus, I’ve never really got those vibes from any other band.

          • I say that because their music didn’t leave any sort of impression beyond feeling like my time was wasted. I’d heard melodeath and death metal and everything in between and nothing I heard on that record stood out in terms of technique or aesthetic or even memorable riffcraft.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            LMFAO, they’re on the same label as T.O.Y!!!!!!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKYMCak_k6g

    • Dubs

      I genuinely don’t think there’s anything good about GBK’s music, divorced of all the controversy or otherwise.

      • DVRKBEVRD

        =/

        • Dubs

          Just listen to Aosoth.

          • DVRKBEVRD

            ive heard Aosoth, i dont own any of it tho

          • Dubs

            An Arrow in Heart is very highly regarded, and their split with Order of Orias is rad.

          • Rob M

            I dont know if youre familiar with Antaeus, but its the same group of guys in both bands

          • Zeke

            Which Antaeus album should I check out?

          • Rob M

            Id give “De Principii Evangelikum” a try, its a bit more refined than the debut, but still a real nasty bit of black metal

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          Gotta agree with Dubz, I like Arghoslent but I never really saw the charm in GBK, it just doesn’t work the same.

      • Óðinn

        Yeah. To be honest, they’re actual music is mediocre. They may be just invoking a lot of passion due to their racist views, whether you love or hate racism. Racist Metal fans tend to love these guys, and progressive/educated Metal fans tend to dislike them.

  • Stanley

    One of my favorite phrases: Out For Delivery.

    • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

      The best.

  • JWEG

    Retro stoner bluesy rock riffs with a bit of a punk edge.
    RIYL Psychedelic Witchcraft, Blues Pills:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRIEo5zxOO4

  • *****Riff Idea Alert:

    Riffs from songs that are literally about SATAN .

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    And new Metal Church track (sadly, it’s a lyric video. GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr75lFA9Mg4

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      They’re coming near me. I might go.

  • 365ChaosRiddenDays
    • DVRKBEVRD

      song is way too long but whoever is playing drums is a beast!

    • Maik Beninton™

      That was good.
      Nice work Tyree.

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Learning this now so fuck it

    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=emQABNieZuE

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Such a great song

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        Leviathan is a really weird song when compared to the rest of the album, it sounds fairly upbeat and melodic but there’s a certain sadness underlying it that I can’t really describe.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Like discovering a tome of ancient unknowns in a Victorian pub

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Still, what an album. The scream at the end of Scapegoat is probably the most brutal thing I’ve ever heard.

  • Max

    My Riff ov th’ Week goes like this: It starts off chugging for a bit, and then has a pretty long pinch harmonic, and then has a sort of squiggly, semi-melodic line on one string, and then back to some power chords in a classic “da-nah-nah-na-nah-NAH!” kinda way.

    Pretty rad, huh? Vote for my Riff!

    • Boss the “Hoss” Ross

      The squiggly takes the cake. You have my vote

  • Count_Breznak

    Screw riffs lad, have one chord.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ0SqUUtpRo