Riff Of The Week: Green Edition

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*suspicious water gurgling sound*

Last week we received a shitload of entries for our Sci-Fi Edition, but only one riff could take home the top prize. And that riff belonged to none other than the Toilet ov Hell’s quintessential Good Guy© Jimmy McNulty, whose Mithras joint narrowly edged-out Artificial Brain.

This week we asked for GREEN riffs. Evidently, some of you put on your thinking caps and got a bit creative, some of you ate a few gold caps and got a bit sedated, and some of you suck. Remember to use the PROMO CODE RUBISCO after voting to receive your free trial pack of Dr. E. Dundant’s Chlorophyll tablets, guaranteed to improve the conversion of malate in your chloroplasts by up to 420%.


Special Agent Dale Cooper

R.E.M – “Orange Crush” (Riff @ 0:00)

This spectacular riff from Georgia death metaller’s, Revolutionary Evisceration Machine’s punishing song ‘Orange Crush’, shows just how much of an excellent metal guitarist Peter Buck is. While his playing may not be as fast as other death metal guitarists, he more than makes up for it with excellent riff crafting, a vicious tone and a brutal rhythm section to back him up (Especially Bill Berry, seriously, he could do blast beats as good as anyone). Being mixed with Michael Stipe’s wonderful death growls (he was one of the best growlers in the business) and some savage lyricism also helps. Whilst the album this is from, ‘Green’, was Revolutionary Evisceration Machine’s first on Warner. Bros Records (the band being one of the few extreme metal band’s to sign for a major label), which caused many a fan to worry when it was first release, the band more than proved that they could still melt faces on a major with this wonderful track.


EggBeater

Atheist – “Green” (Riff @ 2:34)

Why wouldn’t this be the first thing that came to mind? The riff at 2:34 isnt played enough, so it makes those few bars much more precious.


GoatForest

Soilent Green – “Sewn Mouth Secrets” (Riff @ 2:11)

This week I bring you a masterful riff from my Louisiana brethren. Come, listen to the sounds of NOLA with me.


Taz

Kreator – “Some Pain Will Last” (Riff @ 0:35)

RIFF START AT 00.35 BUT NEED INTRO FROM 00.00 FOR EFFECT. TAZ CHOOSE ‘COS OF ‘GREEN’ LYRICS MORE THAN RIFF. TAZ HATE STUPID AND ARROGANT HUMANS THAT DESTROY LIFE AND NATURE. TAZ DESTROY HUMANS EXCEPT ENVIERO… ENVYR… INVEROMETAL… GREEN-FRIENDLY HUMANS AND CAVEMEN. BBBLLLEEEAARARGGGUP!!!!!!!

…AND TAZ ALSO CHOOSE ‘COS TITLE OF ALBUM IN GREEN!!!!


Hashtown

Acid Witch – “Metal Movie Marijuana Massacre Meltdown” (Riff @ 0:00)

Everything about this is green; Acid can be portrayed as green, the witch on the cover is green, the album is called Stoned and the song is about a marijuana massacre. I DARE you to find more green in another song 😉 hit the bong, smoke the pipe, pass the joint and turn green with the opening riff of this crushingly heavy Acid Witch song


HD

Kyuss – “Green Machine ” (Riff @ 0:21)

Not a whole lotta splainin’ needed here. A little gift from our ol’ desert friends. The main riff is adrenaline on cocaine. This song fucks.


vanNeun

Overkill – “The Green and Black” (Riff @1:30)

Back in 2011, after getting quite pleasantly mauled by Heathen and then Destruction – it was time for Overkill. They started with this sweet piece which has quite a few good riffs but the one at 1:30 got the place into full swing and sealed that gig as one of the best I’ve ever seen.

It might have helped that they played it like 25% faster.


Lacertilian

Appalachian Terror Unit – “Greenwashing” (Riff @ 0:15)

Anarcho-environmentalist crusty thrash/crossover shit. Green the fuck out from 0:15 onwards.


This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 27-10-2017 20:22:33
end_date 03-11-2017 23:59:59
Poll Results:
Who?

Next week will be the final Riff of the Week. And by that I mean we’ll be taking riffs from songs featuring the word “Final” in their title. Send your entries to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com by Friday, with a screen-name and a short description including a time-stamp of when the riff you’ve chosen starts.


 

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  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Orange Crush is my pick. Such a good song.

  • KJM, Blood Farmer

    So, anybody care to guess who’ll be doing the perp walk come Monday morning?

    • BobLoblaw

      Whoever it is, it will be fun had for all.

      • more beer

        Almost everyone. I don’t think it will be a lot of fun for those charged.

        • GoatForest

          But, it will be fun for me.

          • more beer

            That’s because you won’t be getting charged with anything.

          • GoatForest

            Yep. I’m not a traitor, though.

          • more beer

            Nah, But it is going to be interesting to see how this plays out.

          • GoatForest

            Absolutely.

          • Pierre Generic

            Those Nazi shitbags ruined my birthday(Nov. 9th) last year so you know I’m going to enjoy the fuck out of this.

          • Óðinn

            Yeah, ideally Trump would spend some time in prison getting to know some Crips and Bloods. I won’t hold my breath though.

          • more beer

            Anyone who spends time in prison for any of this is going to a club fed. Not a state prison with the common criminals.

          • Óðinn

            You’re right. Probably not. Most likely a federal prison. That’s just me wishing it was so.

            Although Muller has been teaming up with certain State authorities, that’s just a backup to stop Trump from issuing pardons because Trump can only pardon federal (not state) offenses if I’m correct.

          • KJM, Blood Farmer

            They’ll still end up doing their time in relative comfort.

          • Óðinn

            Yeah, most likely. If history repeats itself, even if Trump gets charged, the next Republican in line will pardon him.

            I’d like to see real punishments, but I know how these things usually play out.

          • more beer

            Yea he can only pardon people on federal charges. But I think this is going to affect people in both parties. I don’t think either sides hands are clean in any of this. But maybe it will be a wake up call to people and maybe they will realize, none of our politicians are really working for us.

          • Óðinn

            To be safe, all political should be investigated.

          • more beer

            I agree! investigate all of them!

        • BobLoblaw

          The masses joy trumps their stunted emotions.

    • more beer

      If we are really lucky it will be people from both sides.

      • Óðinn

        We can’t forget the sex ring in the basement of that pizza pizza parlor.

        • more beer

          That will only matter if they were Russian kids.

    • not a guess, but can i ask about what are you talking?

      • more beer

        Charges were filed in the Russian election tampering investigation yesterday.

        • Cool! Thxman

          • more beer

            No problem.

    • GoatForest
    • Óðinn

      Hard to say for sure, but I’d guess maybe Paul Manafort.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I don’t know. Who?

      • KJM, Blood Farmer

        I don’t know. We’ll have to see.

        • rubber dinghy rapids bro

          I think we’ll be disappointed. guaranteed It will be some low level clerk or somebody, like Jarvanka’s maid or some shit – someone that will give up the heavy hitters for a plea deal.

          • KJM, Blood Farmer

            This is just the beginning of a long process and yeah, Mueller will go after small fry at first.

          • Óðinn

            Carter Page?

      • Óðinn

        Well you’d better get to know Who, JJD.

        https://media.giphy.com/media/yoJC2q1xts8DXKcEiA/giphy.gif

        • KJM, Blood Farmer

          Is it sad that I can tell you EXACTLY where this gif came from?(The Invasion Of Time part 6)

          • Óðinn

            Haha! I think that’s awesome! You’re talking to a guy who likes classic Doctor Who. Over the past few months I’ve been periodically watching Jon Pertwee’s entire run. I’m almost done.

          • tigeraid

            Venusian aikido!

          • Óðinn

            Yes! Haha!

          • KJM, Blood Farmer

            Pertwee was the 1st Doctor I watched. I’ve been a Doctor Who fan since I was grade school age.

          • Óðinn

            I was pretty young when I discovered Doctor Who too. It was different from anything I’d seen before. I guess part of it was the fact that it was British that made it different.

        • tigeraid

          Peter Davison or gtfo.

          Tom Baker as pretty wicked too tho.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Doctor Who?

          • KJM, Blood Farmer

            Exactly.

  • GoatForest

    Goddamn. Every one of these riffs is a winner in my book. Except that REM shit. Fuck that garbage. (Sorry Dale. ) I guess I’ll go with Acid Witch. Everyone else should pick Soilent Green, though. 🙂

    • Lone Biker…

      That Soilent Green riff should be the winner…hands down. Probably my favorite riff of theirs – and I totally love dozens of their riffs. I picked up that “String of Lies” ep in the late ’90’s, and even with the rough production, it totally floored me. Still does.

      Great pick!

      • GoatForest

        Thanks!

    • FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper

      Not gonna lie, despite the jokey nature of the submission, I super dig R.E.M.
      Sometimes the popular consensus is right, R.E.M. didn’t break windows, but they did cause them to non-violently shake.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    MOTHAFOCKINNNNNNNN KYUSSSSSSSS

  • Yarnhawk

    Should have submitted this gem.
    https://youtu.be/nE7pz87rASo

  • tigeraid

    Resist the urge to submit Europe’s The Final Countdown
    Resist the urge to submit Europe’s The Final Countdown
    Resist the urge to submit Europe’s The Final Countdown

    Resist the urge to submit Europe’s The Final Countdown

    Resist the urge to submit Europe’s The Final Countdown

    (Can riffs be done with trumpets?)

    • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ

      DO NOT RESIST!!!!!!! SUBMIT!!!!! SUBMIT!!!!!!!!
      https://media.giphy.com/media/XnpCSHmqeMWJi/giphy.gif

    • KJM, Blood Farmer

      DO IT

    • Synth trumpets? Yes.

    • Depechemodeisgangsta

      That was the 1st thing that came to my mind, and it would get all the votes.

    • The Mighty Thorange

      As soon as I saw the theme for next week I suddenly got that synth riff stuck in my head.

  • Señor Jefe El Rossover

    Kyuss crushes all those who oppose.

  • Howard Dean

    So I’m pretty proud of (almost) everyone this week. These are all really solid riffs apart from the R.E.M. one. What’s the frequency, Dale Cooper?

    • KJM, Blood Farmer

      One-one-nine!! Call for help!

    • Óðinn

      What’s the word on the street, Sporty James?

    • FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper

      I pretty much submitted that for shits and giggles, as you could probably tell. I was surprised it even made it through tbh.

  • CT-12
  • Óðinn
  • KJM, Blood Farmer
  • FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper

    Kyuss, plz. Stoner and doom is my jam.

    • loved your submission!

      • FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper

        Thnx Bae. <3
        #GeorgiaCollegeRockDeathMetalFTW

      • Lacertilian

        *shakes clenched fist claws*

  • drug_genosh

    its gotta be Obituary’s final thoughts. id send it in but im lazy

  • NDG

    Super late to the party but I would have submitted this…to groove on:

    “https://www.youtube.com/embed/FLDdAeihZJs”