Riff of the Week: fucken dad rock

We’re all dads this week, baby.

Gather ’round and listen to these positively paternal riffs.

Last week, 10 savvy voters picked a pretty good Morbid Angel riff and thus bequeathed the win to mighty Joe. Long may he reign.

Let’s pick a word for next week. What’s a word used in a lot of metal songs? Uh… let’s go with “war.” Your riff must come from a song with the word “war” in its title. Try to pick something other than “War” by Bathory, “War” by Burzum, or “War” by Bolt Thrower. Mail me your war riffs at toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your name, a very brief description of your riff, the timestamp of the riff, and a youtube link for the song.

Okay, let’s hurry and jam out like lame dads because I have to put my obnoxious kid to bed like a lame dad.

 

Masterlord

Still managed to get a dragon on the cover AND in the lyrics so suck it dorks. 1:20ish.

 

Joe

It doesn’t get much more dad rock than Austin-native and actual crazy person Roky Erickson, Hit 1:18 for that tasty, tasty riffage.

 

frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

Hey Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?

 

Special Agent Dale Cooper

Because Top Gun. And Archer. And cheesy 80’s hard rock. And Volleyball. And Lana. And DAYYNNNGEERRRR ZOOUUUUNNNEEE!

 

Zeke

Guns n’ roses are definitely my favorite dad rock band. Anything off Appetite would be low hanging fruit so I’ll go with this buried gem. 6:25 until the end.

 

Tertius Decimus

You know, often acknowledged pioneers get all the attention and the glory. Swedish band Trettioåriga Kriget is pretty well-known among those, who likes to put hands onto 70’s records, however those few rarely try to throw those gems at public. Here’s my shy attempt. Experimental at its best.

 

McNulty

By the time this goes live, Pops will be defrosting some frozen hamburgers and heating up the grill; boasting a huge grin because deep down he knows he done raised a good future dad. Skip to 0:54 to simultaneously make the hairs on your arm stand up and your father proud.

 

Tigeraid

My dads not big into music. One of those guys who just wants it on the background while he drinks beer and tells the same ten stories over and over to his friends. But some tunes do stand out for him, and ZZ Top never fails to make his ears perk up. Baseline riff starting right at zero is classic. Who doesn’t love ZZ Top?

 

Janitor Jim

Since this is the Dad Rock Riff Of The Week, I already won. I could submit Paul McCartney sharting and I’d still win. I’m not going to do that so I shall pick my favorite of the Phil Collins era Genesis songs: One For The Vine. The riff starts at 0:00 and goes until 0:13. It’s repeated in the middle of the song as well.

 

Ted Nü-Djent

Let there be (dad) rock! Riff at 0.00, 1.47 and 3.33. Bonus lols seeing Bon eat shit jumping off the altar at the 4.15 mark. Legend has it, he fucked his ankle when he took that tumble. He was probably as pissed as a fart when they made this video.

 

KJU

Tom Petty, George Harrison, Roy Orbison, Bob Dylan……….. need I say more? One of the true supergroups of the 80’s.

 

Eliza

At first, I wanted to submit a 70’s prog rock song in the vein of Yes, but I had a change of heart. If there’s going to be a dad rock edition, let’s make it a hard rockin’ one! (Sorry) The riff is the opening one. You know it. I’m sure you do.

 

Coprolytic

This is Coprolytic, and since I am an old piece of shit the dad rock challenge is the right time to submit my first riff. Starting at 0:13, this riff reminds dad of when he almost rebelled a little bit that one time, and tempts him to do it again.

 

Stanley

It wasn’t dad rock at the time, but it certainly is now. I remember my old man banging on the bedroom door yelling, “TURN THAT DOWN!”. Now, he wanders around the house whistling Wind of Change. Riff at 1:01.

 

Boss the Ross

Bask in the glory.

 

Waynecro

The bass riff that kicks in at 0:20 (and plays throughout the song) is pretty awesome—I dig that distortion. My dad thinks this song rocks, and I have to agree with him.

 

 

________________________

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 17-06-2016 20:22:33
end_date 24-06-2016 20:22:33
Poll Results:
Who's ur daddy?
  • Lacertilian

    During the week I will be putting a case forth to the Bowligarchy to also decline riffs from Slayer’s “War Ensemble” for next week’s comp.
    As much as that song rules, y’all can do better.
    And I’m a prick.
    http://www.toiletovhell.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Slayer-laugh.gif

    • Stanley

      And no War Pigs!

      • Ever.

        • CAVEMAN GORAK™

          GORAK WANT KNOW IF WARLORD, WARFARE & WARRIOR ACCEPTABLE!!!!!!!

          • JWEG

            I assumed. Also words that should be hyphenated, but were instead just combined as one in a way that’s not at all typical.

            Otherwise my submission of a few minutes ago will be nixed.

          • Ernest Goes To The Toilet

            Most likely acceptable. Masterlord was pretty fair and loose during the “fire” ROTW, even going so far as to allow words in other languages that mean “fire”. So I’m guessing he’d do the same with this one.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          GTFO

    • Hans Müller

      Seconded.

    • CAVEMAN GORAK™

      ALSO HOLY WARS!!!!!
      https://youtu.be/hcjN5BNU9CY

      • Hans Müller

        Dang, I was considering that one. That’s only, like, fruit from the second-lowest branch.

        • CAVEMAN GORAK™

          THIS FRUIT MIGHT EVEN HANG LOWER THAN WAR ENSEMBLE!!!!!!!

          • Hans Müller

            I AM SHAMED!!!!

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        diggidit diggidit diggidit diggidit diggidow
        diggidit diggidit diggidit diggidit diggiduh

      • Ernest Goes To The Toilet
  • Dubbbz

    I forgot to submit a dad rock riff this week, but I would have submat the Amberlamps. Also, I predict JJD will clinch this victory just as he clinched the Nu Metal ROTW trophy.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0OFF3q4Pxk

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Damnit, there’s so many good ones! I voted for McNulty though.

  • Abradolf Lincler

    Just another week where we all lose

  • Sir Tapir The Based

    Congrats to Tertius for being the only one with something good to offer.

    • tertius_decimus

      Thank you!

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Tapir plz! They’re all good!

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    Stan the Manley.

    • more beer

      Yep he got my vote too.

  • Hans Müller

    Strictly “war” or would, say, “warfare” be okay? What about “warrior”?
    Though it’s not like sticking to “war” doesn’t give you enough options… good topic there.

    • Ernest Goes To The Toilet

      Now this I’d have to wonder.

  • Rob M

    Okay, I’ll give this one to Eliza, only because that opening riff to Sweet Child of Mine is pretty stellar

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      If I went the rest of my life without hearing Sweet Child again I’d die a happy man. Appetite is still one of my all time favourite albums too

  • ZZ Top FTW!

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      It was hard not choosing them… i almost regret my decision.

      • RJA

        I chose your riff ever so slightly over zz top

    • Abradolf Lincler

      I have a feeling you and I are going to want to pick the same thing for next week if you decide to submit

    • tigeraid

      Indeed, though Mcnulty CAME in HARD with a Boston riff too. My dad would also love that.

      MORE THAN A FEEELEEEEEEEEEEN

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Tom Scholz is an asshole. I can attest to that. Geoff Downes is really nice though. Met him at the record store once.

      • you bet i did, man. but i’m probably not going to win because Boston automatically wins everything, therefore is disqualified

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          I thought about More Than A Feeling after I submitted mine. I mainly chose my riff so I could open up my blurb with “Let there Be (dad) Rock

  • EsusMoose

    It was between Special agent Dale Cooper and the Mastercoral, but the masterlord had a time so he won

  • CAVEMAN GORAK™

    GORAKS FORGOTTEN RIFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    https://youtu.be/eV-5iNu6Sd8

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      RUSH IS NOT DAD ROCK.
      RUSH IS LIFE.

      • CAVEMAN GORAK™

        GORAK DAD LIKE RUSH!!!!!!!!!!

  • tigeraid

    Tough choice with that Collective Soul, too. My parents rock that fucking tune at EVERY party. And growing up in the early 90s I will admit to abusing it a bit too.

    To this day it’s the first tune that comes to mind when people say “summer songs.” Blasting it at 11 in the pickup on the way to the beach.

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    My head tells me vote Ted NuDjent and my heart says vote McNulty with the excellent Boston B side track nobody remembers. But hey aren’t we ALL winners when sharing Dad Rock?!!! Shout out to Masterlord with the tasty Asia cut as well. You guys don’t play!

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Does the song have to have war in the title?

    • Dubbbz

      “Your riff must come from a song with the word “war” in its title.”

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    How did I get 4 votes? I can’t fathom anyone voting for my riff.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      i voted for you because, if anyone deserves to win this, its you

    • Stanley

      Nor me. That riff is wetter than a drowned cat. It must have been the power of suggestion.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Time to tune my guitar to A, use a nuclear reactor as a distortion pedal and spend my entire monthly income on army surplus

    • Abradolf Lincler

      i love the army surplus store

      • Waynecro

        I buy 95 percent of my clothing at military-surplus stores.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      ist krieg

  • Abradolf Lincler

    oh shiiiiiiiiiit new Baptism record this year! hold on to your dick, aoty list!

  • brokensnow

    Asia and Nazareth had such great album art.

  • JWEG

    A CanCon classic Dad Rock riff, also motivated by the news of Gord Downie’s brain cancer diagnosis late last month:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPJ2rcYQC88

    • Óðinn

      This is a great song, even if they stole the riff from Dokken.

      https://youtu.be/Q-t8W4X8Obo

    • Óðinn
      • JWEG

        I was looking at that one, but didn’t think it quite met “riff” criteria.

        My first choice was going to be “New Orleans is Sinking”, but I decided that might be too obvious.

        • Óðinn

          I’ve always thought Locked in the Trunk of a Car had a Metal attitude, if not a Metal sound.

          And yes, New Orleans is Sinking would have been the most obvious choice.

    • Óðinn

      Yeah, it sucks that Gord Downie has brain cancer. The Hip are one of only a few straight up rock bands that I like.

      https://youtu.be/e8Fi46BFAF0

  • Óðinn

    “Military intelligence, two words combined that can’t make sense.”

    Even though Mustaine has gone crazy and probably no longer agrees with his own lyrics from the 1990s, it’s still one of the best lyrics he ever wrote.

    • CAVEMAN GORAK™

      DAVE ALWAYS BEEN CRAZY!!!!!!! HE JUST NOT FUN CRAZY ANYMORE!!!!!!!

      • Óðinn

        Yeah, that’s true, GORAK.

        • CAVEMAN GORAK™

          USED TO WRITE GOOD LYRIC BACK THEN!!!!! NOW THEY WORST PART OV MEGADETH!!!!!!!!

  • Óðinn

    No Van Halen? They are the greatest ambiguously gay dad rock band of all time. Plus, no bass player can strum a single note continuously better than Michael Anthony.

    https://youtu.be/8c6X1fcDRwM

    • Abradolf Lincler

      i promise you that i SERIOUSLY considered submitting Hot For Teacher and decided against it.

      • CAVEMAN GORAK™

        DIDN’T HAVE IT BAD ENUFF?????

        • Abradolf Lincler

          ive been with a couple teachers in my day, gorak. not hot for them anymore.

        • Óðinn

          LOL.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        I GOT MY PEN-SUUUUUUUHL

        GIMME SOMETHING TO WRITE ON MAN

    • JWEG

      It’s not the Granddad Rock ROTW though.

      • Óðinn

        Haha. Good point, JWEG.

        • JWEG

          To be fair, my own father’s musical interests seemed to stop accepting new content in the mid-60s, defining even earlier a Granddad Rock era.

          If I had kids, that would be even more literal.

  • Ernest Goes To The Toilet

    I was about to go with Oingo Boingo, but wasn’t sure if they count as actual dad rock, and I went with Traveling Wilburys since I figure it’d clench the vote. Apparently I was wrong, and am losing to Heat Of The Rectum. :-p

  • Stanley

    Ross, Master or Tigger? My brain says Tigger, but my heart says Master.

    • your ears tell you McNulty

      • Abradolf Lincler

        thats what my ears tell me every night while i touch myself

        • this is what we call “telepathy”, not coincidence.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            my dangly bits dont care

            i voted with soul this week

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      G-L-O-R-I-A

    • Óðinn

      This is Cock Rock, Stanley. Listen to your cock.

  • Óðinn
  • “Tom Petty, George Harrison, Roy Orbison, Bob Dylan……….. need I say more? One of the true supergroups of the 80’s.”

    KJU what in the F**K is wrong with you? leaving out JEFF LYNNE?!?! he’s the FIRST person you should have mentioned. (JJD got my back here?)

  • JWEG

    Also: some Mom Rock (because it’s from my mother’s LP collection).

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6LciaCoDEY

    This is not really an album for selecting just one riff from, though. It’s meant to be experienced (preferably in its original vinyl form, obviously).

    …Though I am kind of partial to the main riff to Ferdia’s Song (15:58)

  • i’m a 34 year old male who grew up with Collective Soul.
    welp, time to have kids! see you all in nine months…

    • Abradolf Lincler

      i have old school memories of collective soul too.

    • Ernest Goes To The Toilet

      I still like collective Soul, and fondly remember their first two CDs from back in the day. One of the very few bands on the radio I liked back in the day.

      • MachoMadness5000

        Same here – I still listen to them every once in awhile.

    • Owlswald

      Collective Soul’s neighbor wants to the join the party. https://youtu.be/FNrQOUtXYOo

  • anybody want to know one of the worst songs of all time? Guns ‘n Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine”. but i still love @eliza01:disqus .
    Queen’s “We Are the Champions” is a close runner up too

    • JWEG

      As I was a kid raised in a small town with only one rock radio station and only one record store, I think I should be totally excused for my 80’s musical interests derived at the time and not retrospectively (except Bryan Adams, no regrets).

      But I still have to look back and cringe at how much of a Bon Jovi fan I was when I didn’t know better.

      • we’re allowed to like them at the time. but NOW, “Living On a Prayer”* destroys my ears. and i don’t liek it when bachelorette parties do it on karaoke 🙁

        *or that “Dead or Alive” song. both r bad.

        • JWEG

          When I was 7 I took everything literally, so I seriously thought that was about some kind of Robot Cowboy on a Steel Horse.

          A few years later a friend told me it was actually about a motorcycle.

          He was wrong too, though. Apparently it’s a tour bus. Terrible.

        • BobLoblaw

          Pour Some Sugar On Me and Cherry Pie are atrocious as well.

          • Owlswald

            I’m pretty sick of Don’t Stop Believing as well.

    • Owlswald

      I’ll take Champions over We Will Rock You any day. Sometimes I wonder if Queen wrote those songs knowing they would become arena rock gold.

      • Ernest Goes To The Toilet

        And you almost never hear one without the other on the radio. It’s an unwritten law for pretty much any classic rock station.

    • tigeraid

      And yet Civil War is one of the greatest. FIGHT ME.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      I LOVE Appetite for Destruction but I can’t listen to Sweet Child anymore

  • hrm……looks like Tigeraid is tied with McNulty for best pick. i vote Tigeraid ’cause honest abe here

  • Stanley

    This brazen beast just stopped in for ROTW. Biggest one I’ve seen. And in broad daylight. No wonder my lawn looks like shit.

    • BobLoblaw

      Those dudes are pretty awesome.

  • Ernest Goes To The Toilet
    • CyberneticOrganism

      GAH

      • Ernest Goes To The Toilet

        Oddly enough, they’re still together and still have fans. *scratches my head*

  • Ernest Goes To The Toilet

    Came very close to submitting this one, but changed my mind and ditched the email. One of the classic romance/love making ballads of the 80’s, and hot lerv riff starts at 2:46.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LXQpIpo28g

  • Waynecro

    Masterlord, I can never not vote for that Asia song. Goddamnit.

  • Óðinn
  • OldMetalHead

    I don’t care what anyone says. This still slays.
    https://youtu.be/dV1v6FmB4P0

  • tigeraid

    Dammit. JJD is wiping the floor with me. As expected.

  • Also, voted for Stanley. That riff is so mean!

  • Guppusmaximus

    At this point, Genesis might be considered the stuff of Legends, so, Stanley should pull the win because Scorpions is sooo Dad Rock. Also, epic fail for overlooking Judas Priest. That’s a well full of Dad Rock riffs..

    https://youtu.be/_sblknbU6L4?list=PLdCiKCksZJh4KyP_EsA1kIB2rwsXFPZTt