Riff Of The Week: Doomed Edition

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You know those people who say trite shit like “life’s not all doom & gloom” whenever someone complains about literally anything? Well you’ll find none of them here. Also, we may or may not have killed them. So I guess for them, life kinda turned out all doomy and/or gloomy. Funny how things work out, huh?

Last week for our bird themed riff of the week, there was an intense week-long battle between the avian adversaries Positronic Brain and Ted Nu-Djent. Claws clashed and feathers flew until only one ornery ornis outlasted the other, with Down’s “Stone The Crow” pipping Corrosion Of Conformity’s “Albatross” by the slimmest of margins (seriously, just a single vote split them). Congratulations are in order. Go and grab yourself an egg of your choice from your fridge, you’ve earned it!

We asked for DOOM riffs this week, and most of you seemed to know what that meant. At least one of you doesn’t seem to get it, and is hereby commanded to listen to Bongripper’s “Satan Worshipping Doom” on repeat, until their very existence is reduced to a few whisps of smoke emanating from a fetid 70’s-style porcelain pipe vaporously coalescing to spell the words “HAIL SATAN WORSHIP DOOM”. Alternatively, if they’re some kind of straight-edge freak who can somehow enjoy doom without its life-long companion plant – the infamous Devil’s Lettuce, they must endure an entire 24 hour period under the weight of Thergothon’s classic “Stream From The Heavens” until they are compressed into stone, which will somewhat ironically be erected as their own funerary stele, a kind of obstinate monument to absurdity and perhaps most poignantly, their flagrant poserdom.

Anyway, there’s a tonne of riffs here so let’s get into it…


Vladimir Poutine

Tyranny – “A Voice Given Unto Ruin”

Little need be said. Give your voice unto ruin, your spirit unto despair, your essence unto the void, all that once was light unto Stygian gloom. For unto what doth man truly aspire, but to the charnel-house? Riff @ 5:35.


CT-12

Goya – “The Sun”

Since I knew heading into this that KJM probably got a Blood Farmers riff submitted (and you should vote for that riff immediately), I eased back and assessed my few other hundred options. Thankfully, clarity presented itself in the form of a concert I saw a few days ago that featured my very chosen band. Goya is meat-and-potatoes doom to the core, with just enough spices in the mix to keep their stew interesting. Case in point, the tasty bridge featured at 2:09 into this song. Bon Appetit doomheads!


Anesthesiac

Agoraphobic Nosebleed – “No Daughter”

I submit to you a groovy masterpiece, provided by a non-doom band. The entire 7 minute epic is full of tastey riffs, but my choice is the outro riff that begins at 4:38 with the bass leading into it. It continues with variation to the end. If this doesn’t get your neck craned forward and your hair flopping around in front of your eyes, then you need to get your ears checked!


Scott Towel

Fórn – “Dweller On The Threshold”

After considering many well-known names in doom, I remembered about this riff by the mighty pain conjurors in Fórn, and then all competition got obliterated away. This riff drops you in the void of space and crushes you in the slowest way possible. Riff starts at 1:28. HAIL!


tigeraid

Doomsword – “In The Battlefield”

I’m relatively new to Doom, and I’m one of those guys that likes it a bit more triumphant and epic, rather than the super slow stuff.  To wit, hear the call of the war horn to battle!  The main crushing, gritty riff beginning at 0:20 and continuing to crash in and out between the vocals gets you in the mood to grab your spear and shield, and then it picks up from 1:40 to 2:37 as you and the rest of the Great Viking Army begin the seige of Eoforwic in AD 866!


Positronic Brain

Pallbearer – “The Ghost I Used To Be”

I don’t know about you, but I listen to a lot of metal as complete albums, not for “hit singles,” so a lot of it kinda blends together when I’m listening in my car, at the gym, while doing yardwork, or whatever, but not in a bad way. But there’s something to be said for how the A-listers of metal are able to write excellent albums full of individually memorable songs, and I put Pallbearer in that category, personally. The opening riff at 0:00 and its accompanying lead melody stuck in my brain from the first time I heard this song, and the emotion in the notes and chords, and the way they reprise this section halfway through the song, are Pure Metal Gold.


Ted Nu-Djent

King Goat – “Revenants”

King Goat’s 2016 album Conduit was an album that seems for the most part to have gone unnoticed around these parts and if you’re one of the ones who hasn’t, you could do no worse than to not check this album out. To help you make a decision as whether to check them or not, take a gander at the riff from about 20 seconds in until about 1.40. My only complaint about this riff is how Under used it is in the rest of the song. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do. Cheers


Berit Dogg

Electric Wizard – “Funeralopolis”

Well this is the most low-hanging fruit of them all, but why does it hang so god damn low? Because it’s heavier than lemmium, that’s why. Riff @ 2:14.


Howard Dean

Electric Wizard – “Return Trip”

This may surprise some of ya’ll whippersnappers, but at one point Electric Wizard was the heaviest band in the world.The OG trio of Jus Oborn, Mark Greening, and Tim Bagshaw created some of the most megalithic doom riffs known to man (or wizard). Sporting a bass and guitar tone that can only be described as tectonic, this trio destroyed doom hounds and drug fiends with a series of albums in the mid-to-late 90’s and early 00’s. The current band is only a shell of its former self, but we will always have those first four albums (Witchcult Today ain’t too bad, either). Come My Fanatics was the first EW album I fell in love with, and to this day it is tied with Dopethrone as my favorite doom ever put to record. On the album opener “Return Trip” EW is in their element–and my fuck is it heavy. Press play at 2:40 to hear EW marry a magical lead guitar line with the massive bass-heavy riff that underpins the entire song. Bonus: Stick around until the riff at 3:42 to hear EW hit the brown note. Turn the bass up and grab a wash cloth.


Richter

Maudlin Of The Well – “The Curve That To An Angle Turn’d”

Earth: “Stop submitting maudlin of the Well riffs. Also: stop name-dropping maudlin of the Well. No one cares.”

Richter: “Okay. Wait. No.”

Riff: “1:27


Lacertilian

Doom – Doom II OST

You can’t out-doom Doom, you fool, you moron, you fucking imbecile. The ominous portal to hell opens around 1:25:00 and the demons follow shortly after.


This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 24-03-2017 20:22:33
end_date 31-03-2017 23:59:59
Poll Results:
Whoom?

Next week we’ve got something special planned for you. Due to the continued generosity of our community we’ve got some sweet prizes to give away. Long-time TovH reader RJA has kindly offered to donate a few awesome early 90’s death metal albums on CD for us to use how we see fit. So the winner of next week’s contest will get first choice of the pack (provided they don’t live somewhere where postage will be prohibitive). As we reach the end of the first quarter of the year, we’re only going to be taking submissions from albums released in 2017 so far, with a small catch – your riff must come from an album featured on the bowl. Send your favourite 2017 riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com, along with your screen-name and a short description including a time-stamp of when the riff starts and a link to the Toilet ov Hell article where the review/write-up/coverage can be found.


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  • Señor Jefe El Rossover

    I don’t want to listen to Thergothon.

  • Señor Jefe El Rossover

    Sunufabeech this one is tough.

    • Doom Scientist

      Agreed, this will take some time. Good choices here.

      • Señor Jefe El Rossover

        The first 100% Doom Scientist approved RotW, haha!

        • Doom Scientist

          This will require careful study(loads bowl).

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            Follow the smoke, KJM

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            The lack of Sleep riffs is a tad unsettling, but I can only blame myself.

    • more beer

      This isn’t that hard. Agoraphobic Nosebleed. For a non-doom band. Doom better than most actual doom bands.

      • Señor Jefe El Rossover

        Haha! Classic more beer. I’m actually tempted to vote their way because that EP is crushing

        • more beer

          I listened to it last night actually. It just rips from beginning to end.

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            I’m going to have to do the same thing soon. Power Trip for now though

          • more beer

            Listened to that last night also.

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            I know its still early, but its a serious contender for AotY

          • more beer

            We have a long way to go this year. But that record is certainly a banger. I am looking forward to seeing them on Tuesday.

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            Gonna slay! Who’s playing with them?

          • more beer

            Destruction Unit, Primal Rite, and Call of the Void. Hopefully I make it in time for Call of the Void. I have a busy day at work and it is an early show.

    • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ
  • Butts4Gutts

    That sneaky lizard is up to some tricks!

  • Doom Scientist

    KJM is lame and has been studying all week. As such, odd as it is, I have not submitted a riff. I suck.

    • Señor Jefe El Rossover

      Studying?

      • Doom Scientist

        I have to take a cert exam tomorrow(Network+).

        • Señor Jefe El Rossover

          Ah! Best of luck to you, my man. Though I’m sure you’ll be fine

        • more beer

          Exam on a Sunday? Why not on a weekday?

          • Doom Scientist

            It’s not part of a class. I have to take it so I’ll know how to get other people ready for it. Regardless I’ll only be at work for a couple hours.
            (BTW, work & school = same place. I work at a training center)

          • more beer

            I see. At least it is only s couple of hours. Personally I try to do nothing work related on Sundays ever. I typically go to the brewery throw back a few pints and smoke a bunch of herb. With a bunch of my friends.

        • Spear

          Net+ is easy. You’ll crush it.

          • Doom Scientist

            I’ve already passed the older version. This one is much tougher I’m told.

    • Eliza

      This comment is relatable on so many levels, it’s almost unreal

      • Doom Scientist

        Fortunately 1/2 of the material is stuff I’m already familiar with. I just have to get gud at things like wireless standards & mobile security.

        • Eliza

          That’s gud. Gud luck.

          • Doom Scientist

            ^_^

  • Doom Scientist

    The recurring riff throughout this song reminds me of Summer, all sweltering and hot concrete. Don’t ask me why, it won’t make sense, not even to me.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhPZU97JkLo

    • CT-12

      Aww man, you just opened up the can of worms haha. :026 for me is one of the best doom riffs ever wrote. Dave Depaved has the most evil vibrato known to man. By the way, what’d you think of Headless Eyes? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqEQG-KT3Vo

      • Doom Scientist

        Headless Eyes rocks, not as great as the S/T but still awesome. I’m teaching myself the title track.

        • CT-12

          Yeah, I dug it as well, but was fairly disappointed. Gut Shot, Headless Eyes, and Thousand Yard Stare are all stone-cold classic tracks, but the rest of the songs really didn’t do much for me. Also, it was easily their weakest production. If you check out their live playing of T.Y.S., it shows just how much of a disservice the production did to that song. Regardless, Blood Farmers are still one of the best.

          • Doom Scientist

            Those are the tracks I listen to the most also.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Electric Wizard? Even more Electric Wizard? Maudlin of the Well? Pallbearer? Tyranny?
    It’s like doom Christmas up in this bitch!

    I had to give my vote to Return Trip though.

    https://cdn.meme.am/instances/36261988.jpg

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Too bad I forgot to submit my pick.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCKjkmjDGGk

    • Señor Jefe El Rossover

      Good pick!

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        Of course, I mean, it’s fucking YOB!

    • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ
  • Scott Towel

    Had never heard Maudlin of the Well, so I guess I have some catching up to do cause this riff crushes!

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      MotW basically is the greatest avant-garde metal band to have ever existed.
      Listen to this tasty little riff at 6:17

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_IVoDltRac

      • Scott Towel

        Sounds killer!

      • I was gonna submit that one. Then I didn’t.

    • Doom Scientist

      Very sludgy.

  • The Mighty Thorange

    I have never given doom metal a proper try but after this I have some bands to check out. And I want to take a moment to appreciate that Doomsword is one of the best fucking names for a band I have heard in a long time.

  • The Mighty Thorange

    And do The Sword count as Doom metal or Stoner metal? If they count then 1:29 does it for me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0UbdjIYNU8

    • Señor Jefe El Rossover

      That’s from one of their doom albums, so you’re good!

      • more beer

        Personally I would like to see the whole band impale themselves on swords.

        • Señor Jefe El Rossover

          Gotdaaaaaaaang!

          • more beer

            I told you before I have seen them. I really can’t stand them.

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            They’ve grown a little lackluster live over the years.

          • more beer

            I found them lackluster in 2008 or 2009 when I saw them. To say the least.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Godsmack was more entertaining live than The Sword was when I saw them…

          • more beer

            Damn that is harsh! I will say my buddy and I had more fun goofing on them. Than watching them.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            At least Godsmack had that dumb, juvenile meathead jock thing going on – especially in the crowd. As stale as their music is, at least it kinda nostalgically brings me back to my mental mindset when I was 15.
            The Sword came across like a bunch of geeks seemingly getting bored at playing their own music.

          • more beer

            I find their music boring. So they probably find it really boring. There were a bunch of geeks in the crowd. Who thought they were the best thing since sliced bread.

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            I can tell!

          • Doom Scientist

            Nah, seen them in 2012 and 2016, great both times.

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            It must’ve been just my show then, because they looked pretty bored on stage last year.

          • Doom Scientist

            That’s not the kind of thing I typically notice, mostly because I’m way in the back during shows. However, many bands have commented that they get sick of their own music because they play it so often. Maybe that was the case here. Then again, people used to say that about Rush too.

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            Rush was energetic as hell on the R40 tour!

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        > The Sword
        > Good

        Can’t have both.

    • Doom Scientist

      Either/ or, really. They’re more on the Stoner front imo.

      • Señor Jefe El Rossover

        I gotta give first two albums the Doom moniker, myself.

        • Doom Scientist

          Agreed.

  • Count_Breznak

    Only the Doom (2) is real.
    .
    ..this isn’t bad, either
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX1TVZQTtjo

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Best doom metal song by a thrash metal band?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8xIkRz6bMY

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    Man, I had forgotten how awesome HAIL SATAN WORSHIP DOOM can be.
    Vote, what vote?

  • Doom Scientist

    So, Goya or Electric Wizard…

  • Eliza

    I’m familiar with most of the bands here, but I feel I should give Goya and Maudlin of the Well a serious listen.

    • Doom Scientist

      Goya definitely, dunno about the other band so much.

      • Eliza

        They sound interesting to me. The song here made me curious to know what their other material sounds like.

    • If I could take one album into outer space with me, it would be one by maudlin of the Well.

      • Lacertilian

        Are you assuming the album’s consent?

        • No. It’s a Bill Cosby type situation.

          • Sid Vicious Promos

            I’m going to Hell for laughing at that joke.

          • Lacertilian

            Are…the roles inversed, so that the album drugs you, leaving you to be manipulated to its will?

  • Scrimm

    Tyranny, hands down.

  • CT-12

    Posted in the comments last week, and I’m gonna post this in the comments this week. Riff at 0:00. Think BtR will appreciate the “OH!!” in this one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-azixMyNU4g

    • Señor Jefe El Rossover

      If I had a seal to approve things with, this would earn it.

  • Doom Scientist

    Went for “Return Trip”, would’ve gone for Goya if I’d known the vote count was that low.

  • Rob M

    Stupid Electric Wizard…come on people Doomsword. Not only is it an awesome band, but it sounds like a weapon straight out of Lord of the Rings…Thats metal as fuck!

    • Señor Jefe El Rossover

      Low hanging fruit, my dude.

      • Howard Dean

        EW may be low hanging fruit, but there is a reason why they became popular. They’ve written some of the best doom riffs (particularly on their early albums). This is after all a doom riff of the week contest, not a “submit sub par riff from obscure avant-garde band to show how kvlt you are to the rest of the Toilet” contest. Good riffs are good riffs and anyone with an ear for riffs can tell if they are good almost immediately. I’ve always picked riffs based on the theme for the week and the quality of the riff. Those are my two parameters. Obscurity doesn’t automatically = better when it comes to riffs.

        • Señor Jefe El Rossover

          And I’m not denying you at all! Perhaps I should’ve chose different wording. EW are phenomenal. That album is monumental, I will never state otherwise.

      • tigeraid

        My first choice was from The Sword’s second album. But I thought it was low-hanging fruit. :/

        • Doom Scientist

          Apparently it isn’t with this crowd, sheesh. : (

          • more beer

            No we recognize shit when we see it.

          • Doom Scientist

            That’s nice.

          • Doom Scientist

            In my opinion, 95% of what gets covered here is shit.

          • more beer

            I don’t know that my percentage is that high.

          • Doom Scientist

            Shit is perhaps too strong a word. Let’s just say I don’t care for it.

          • more beer

            I don’t think it is too strong a word. If that is your opinion.

        • Señor Jefe El Rossover

          It was. You done good.

          • more beer

            Nope. Still garbage!

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            Hating on Doomsword?!

        • more beer

          No that is rotting fruit!

    • tigeraid

      I guess the”non-doom” comment was referring to me, since my entries seem to get those comments. I’ll admit they’re not traditional, but they’re fucking called “Doomsword” and Wikipedia refers to them as “epic Doom metal.” I guess I have failed once again.

      • Doom Scientist

        Nah, it’s a good riff.

      • Lacertilian

        There’s also a chance he was referencing the idiot who submitted something from a video game, but I guess there’s no way to know for sure either way.

        • tigeraid

          wtf, speaking to yourself? What is this madness!

          • Lacertilian

            We’ll never know.

  • @Lacertilian:disqus , dat riff at 54:00!

    • Lacertilian

      Yesss!
      These two OSTs essentially served as my introduction to metal as a 9y/o. Hearing 1:38:40 for the first time made me pick up a guitar to try and work out the Sabbath riff it’s based on. Nostalgia boners>>>

  • tigeraid

    Well, shit, I mean, Doom II has arguably meant more to my life than Doom metal. The lizard wins again.

  • tigeraid

    Can we get clarification on “Album featured on the bowl?” Is this full reviews only, or mini-reviews, or interviews with the artist, or…. ?

    • ÿëš

      • tigeraid

        hmmm.

        • Lacertilian

          Riff must come from an album released in 2017 that has been featured on the website in some way, i.e. – reviews, interviews, premieres/streams, etc.

    • more beer

      What does it matter? There isn’ta single power metal riff that will ever win!

      • tigeraid

        You’re playing with fire here son!

        • more beer

          No I am not son. Telling the truth. Power metal is horrible it is as bad a genre nu metal or hair metal.

          • tigeraid

            Leave the hall.

          • more beer

            Not a chance of that happening.

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    Damn you Positronic.

    • Lacertilian

      After checking how it was going mid-week, I had a plan drafted for your unheralded 3rd straight victory. Alas, you got got.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        The hat trick was always going to be difficult. This week however, I’ve coming crashing right back down.

  • Sid Vicious Promos

    Listening to one of my favorite revenge songs. I discovered Annihilator from this song and a friend who recommended it and the Crimson Idol to me back in 11th grade.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omXot8Ii3Ro

  • Óðinn
  • The God Emperor of Mankind

    What heretical monsters you are to make me decide between Doomsword and Electric Wizard.