Riff Of The Week: Big Dumb Bird Edition



Before we see what you have all squeezed out of your respective cloacae for this week’s bird themed riff-off, let’s take a gander at who yee’d the hawdest in last week’s Texan themed shoot-out.

Sheeit! In what appears to have been a hard-fought late-week duel, Ted’s butthole riff came out sitting just on top of Yarnhawk’s wand riff. Shame I can’t think of a way to derive humour from that, I usually make a dumb joke about the results.

For this week’s competition we asked for bird/bird-related riffs, and you laid a paltry offering of four potential poultry. Here’s an angry rawk to show our disappointment. RRRRRRRAAAWWWKKKKKK.

Positronic Brain

Down – “Stone The Crow”

Yeah, an Anselmo-related RotW again, because a search through my music library for bird-related words turned this one up fairly quick. “Stone the Crow” is known for its sepia-toned music video featuring a be-plaided Anselmo performing with the band in a dusty-ass bar while Pepper and Pepper alone gets to shred a guitar solo while standin’ on the dock of the bay, and for being the catchiest tune on the whole goddamn killer album. It has a neat little guitar lick repeated in various ways throughout, culminating in a fucktastic iteration at 3:20 that may not be as Earth-shatteringly heavy as, say, Kirk Windstein, but more than earns your vote for Riff of the Week with its proto-Mastodon doodly-doodly flourishes and general air guitar awesomeness.


Amon Amarth – “Blood Eagle”

I found this surprisingly difficult–the answer always seemed to be “Eagle,” at least in my collection.  So if I was stuck with that, I had to go with Amon Amarth.  A little tired and formulaic?  Maybe, but tell me this entire song, the best off of Deceiver of the Gods, isn’t a brutal angry headbanging good time.  Base riff starting at 0:40 is great throughout, but the complete switchup at 1:42 is my pick for the riff. Technically, the song is about a brutal method of execution used by the vikings, but hey, it’s named after a bird!

Ted Nu-Djent

Corrosion Of Conformity – “Albatross”

So I almost completely spaced on submitting this week until this morning while after listening to a bunch of Gorguts, Mgla and Marduk to ready myself to see them on the Friday night I decided I needed a change of pace. Enter Corrosion of Conformity’s Deliverance and the second track on the album ‘Albatross’ which reminded me of this weeks theme and that I’d better get my arse into gear and submit. The riff starts at the beginning and is the main riff of the song. My submission this week might have been discovered by accident but for mine it’s a worthy submission nonetheless. Cheers


Grand Magus – “Ravens Guide Our Way”

Only posers use GPS. True metal brethren use Ravens to figure out which exit to take. The base of this riff kicks in at 1:05, and the real slaying begins with the verse variations at 1:29. Ride to victory!


Gorod – “Birds Of Sulphur”

Even though this was the first thing that came to mind and I’d usually investigate other options for a theme, I knew I would end up coming back to this beast of an album opener. Riff @ 2:23 will do. “REDEMPTION, ALWAYS COMES FROM THE SKY!”

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 17-03-2017 20:22:33
end_date 24-03-2017 23:59:59
Poll Results:

Next week we’re going to get doomy. Send your doomiest riffs to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com by Friday. Include a YouTube link, your screen-name, and a short description/blurb with a time-stamp of your riff.

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  • Señor Jefe El Rossover


    • When you point one finger at others you point…um…like…several back at yourself.

      • Señor Jefe El Rossover


    • Doom Scientist

      I’m not a poser. I voted for CoC.

      • Señor Jefe El Rossover


        • Doom Scientist

          Sorry, my friend, but I like Butthole Surfers. I saw them at Lollapalooza 1991.

          • Sid Vicious Promos

            My dad saw them in the 80s and filmed the concert for them

          • Doom Scientist

            Wow, that’s pretty cool.

          • Señor Jefe El Rossover

            Hahaha, I like them too! Never seen them live though.

          • Doom Scientist

            OT: This one’s almost as good as their new album.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          He voted for the best one. Obviously

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        My man!

    • GoatForest

      Sorry man. I reaaaaalllly like me some Down.

  • BobLoblaw

    Im not going to space on this next week. Heres an unofficial entry.

  • Yarnhawk

    The first thing I thought after reading the theme was “Birds of Sulphur” as well, but once I remembered the Grand Magus tune, I just couldn’t say no!

    • tigeraid


  • Howard Dean
    • Howard Dean

      The person who downvoted this is a coward who can’t tolerate the awesomeness of the Butthole Surfers. Accordingly, he or she should be culled from the herd.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        A butthole riff winning 2 weeks in a row would have been wild. You should have submitted

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-y53CRSF9Q

    But in other news, thank you Lizardbro. Gorod is always appropriate.

  • Doom Scientist

    Hmm, which Blood Farmers riff will I submit next week?

    • CT-12

      Better just submit all of them haha! Also, would you like a free download of Goya’s new album? I got a free download code with the album I bought, so it’s yours if you want it.

      • Doom Scientist

        Send to kmcbride62 at comcast.net if you’d be so kind… ^_^

        • CT-12

          Will do homie

          • Doom Scientist


          • Doom Scientist

            Mail received, thanks again!

  • Pentagram Sam

    I really don’t know where to put this, this prob doesn’t fit too well but fuck it, it’s a Sat, and I feels the needs to gets this out.

    Basically a mini show review of the Brut show last nite.

    Shiiit, first walked over to the venue round 6.30 and kicked it for a bit. Ended up shooting the shit with a few people in line too. It was kinda interesting to see the lay of the land in terms of crowd goers. One dude had a Ghost shirt from the Back To The Future tour and we were some of the only out and out metal shirted dudes there.

    While everyone in line was obviously a fan of synthwave, some commented that they didn’t know how the crowd would react to Brut. Cos of the strong metal leanings, there had been reportings of moshing at electronic shows. Plus the dude to chick ratio was like 60/40 which was way different than any metal show I’d been to. When the doors opened there were about 100-112 people

    Got in the doors and hauled ass to merch mania and well, being one of the last stops on this tour run they were picked dry. Of the three shirt designs only two shirts (as in two single shirts, not two designs) were in XL, the rest XXL and XXXL. GosT had shirts in size L only, I ended up with a XXL Brut tour shirt and two GosT cds. I’ll get the backpatch and pay outrageous shipping next month.

    Outside we found out that Le Matos cancelled due to family emergency and Computer Magic cancelled last minute too. Because of this lineup shift, the bands for the nite were laid out in a very interesting way.

    Opening with a cpu electronic guy, go into a 3 piece rock band, electronic cpu guy, another 3 piece rock / drone band, then Brut.

    First dude was a guy named Street Method or something. He had some cool sounds but he really did just turn knobs. I had to take a massive shit and the last couple songs I booked it to my apt and let loose.

    King Buffalo were from NY, and they def had the whole retro chic vibe going. Semi holly body glittery single cut guitars through fuzz n wah pedals. Cos it’s Austin, I got some Swordish vibes and overall dug em.

    Oh man, next was motherfucking Mr GosT man. When he came on, I was worried cos the venue still seemed a little empty. But man, as his set went on the place got packed. This was when I realized the DJ is the new rock star. GosT man was writhing in crazy contortions, he was playing the midi controller and keyboards too, he was headbanging and it was fun as fuck. What was crazy to me was seeing all these hot chicks dancing to fuckin GosT! I mean, to me this is like serial killer music and these chicks are going wild, ahhaha. Last song of his set, GosT man got a mosh pit going. It was a very polite pit but it was there.

    The next band was Dead Meadow and while I didn’t particular get blown away by the band, the drummer intrigued me. The band themselves played a type of ambient drone where the vocals are more of a noise themselves rather than a lyric delivery method. They had a backdrop screen playing weird shit you prob would enjoy on acid. The drummer though. At first, I’ll be honest, he seemed like he might be a prima donna. He had a difficult sound check and when the show started he drummed in a very, I called it prissy, a guy next to me said robotic way. But. As the show went on and he got his moments to let loose and he did in a big fuckin way. After a few songs it became very apparent that he was prob the leader of the band, I got more vibe from him than from the singer. The dude next to me even said the drummer was like a conducter and maybe his exaggerated motions were to help the other guys keep track of where they were in the song.

    After Dead Meadow I ran into Mr. Gost man and told him I thought he was king dingaling and dug his shit. He was very appreciative and genuinely humble. He said after the show he’d be around to sign cds and hang out and I’m glad to support his music.

    Yee to the haw, here comes Brut. He, along with a drummer on an elec kit and a dude on guitar, came out and played an hour and fifteen minutes of amazing music. Nary a word was spoken the entire set. But man, the energy was ramped up to tits and the whole floor was jumping. Again, very surprised to see so many people dancing to this music. One thing I did notice was that I think some people got offended at some of the videos Brut was playing behind him. Cos alot of the songs are based on old ass horror movies and stuff, he’d have clips from em playing along with the song. Well, some clips had naked chicks tied up and stabbed, chainsawed, stuff like that and I think it upset like 3 or four cos they left looking like they were afraid they were gonna get descended upon by a sex murder cult.

    Anyway, the band was tight, the drummer was a fucking beast he as pounding away all night. No new songs, everything was off Trilogy except for the final song, a cover of Maniac from Flashdance. So to me it was basically a glorious greatest hits set hahaha.

    After the show I basically stumbled home and passed the fuck out. It was a great show, had alot of fun and even though it wasn’t a metal show, the communal vibe was there. Again, I dunno if it’s just cos it’s Austin but the diversity of the crowd there really makes think this type of music can bring a wide audience from all over and not limited to BO stankified metal dudes. Seriously can’t get over how many people were dancing to this crazy serial killer, b movie, 80s shit. I fuckin love it!

    • Howard Dean

      This paragraph is awesome. We’ve all been there.

      “First dude was a guy named Street Method or something. He had some cool sounds but he really did just turn knobs. I had to take a massive shit and the last couple songs I booked it to my apt and let loose.”

    • Señor Jefe El Rossover

      Next time, contact Joe! We’re always looking for guest articles and this would’ve been perfect

      • RJA

        Delete post immediately- run as article next week- I’ll pretend I never read it!

    • Le Matos >>>>>

  • TrundleTheGreat

    Albatross dye, though Blood Eagle and Stone the Crow make it tough.

  • Elegant Gazing Globe


    • Ted Nü-Djent ™


  • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ
  • CT-12

    Please, somebody, submit this riff next week (I already submitted a different one). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-azixMyNU4g

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    Well this definitely is going to be either Stone the Crow or Albatross.
    NOLA is love.

    • Señor Jefe El Rossover

      Pepper Keenan is the man.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        He truly is. I kinda wish Metallica him instead of Rob sometimes. His addition could have really brought some really cool ideas to the table.

        • Señor Jefe El Rossover

          I’m torn there because that would’ve caused him to move away from Down and CoC, you know? Maybe for an album together but then back to being Pepper

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            That’s why I just kinda wish it had happened. I reckon if he joined Metallica he would have probably ended up performing some vocal duties. At the very least, the backing vocals would be pretty sweet

          • NDG

            I think if it was him who joined Metallica he would no longer be there. I imagine, like Jason, that he would get tired of their bullshit.

            This is based on nothing else other than watching SKOM repeatedly.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            But would he get tired of the paycheque?

          • NDG

            Yeah, that is the multi-gillion dollar question.

            Personally I could tolerate the bullshit for that sort of money.

    • GoatForest

      Hell yes.

  • tigeraid

    I am extremely pleased that someone other than me posted Grand Magus. HAIL!

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    I’m on a roll baby

  • Sid Vicious Promos

    Chuck Berry died. The true king of rock
    and roll is gone.

  • Freedom Jew

    Ya’ll need moar Jesus.

  • Doom Scientist

    Tonight, in honor of Chuck Berry, play with your dingaling. It’s only right.

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    I like COC.

  • Óðinn

    Thought about sending this in mid-week, but figured it was so obvious that it would have already been submitted. Oh well, next time.