Riff of the Week: 8-6-16



My humblest apologies for whiffing on riffing last week. I don’t know how much you heard, but there was a fire and a Russian super-villain situation and I’m a hero.

The week before last, however, was taken by Waynecro. His guilty pleasure was either the guiltiest, the most pleasurable, or perhaps both.

Next week, we’re using a fresh idea sent in by you. Next week, we honor our fallen. What I mean by this is that your riffs must have been penned by a deceased guitarist. Their spirits shall live on through the pow’r of their mighty riffs.

Until then, we can jam this week’s riffs.



I’ve been trying to find a way to plagiarize this riff for years, but I can’t do it. It’s perfect, and any variation on it would be like giving the Mona Lisa a fucking unibrow or something.



strayRiff @ 0:10. Album out August 19th


Tertius Decimus

Kasta in några Svenska musik. Riff är ganska enkel men slående. Vintersorg inte göra denna typ av saker längre. Starta vid 00:25.

Ted Nü-Djent

The intro riff which goes for about 1 minute is pretty damn ominous. I’m looking forward to hearing the rest of the album when it drops on September 23rd.






Ever wish that a riff would go on and on forever but the riff gods think otherwise? Well, here’s one for you. When you have a riff this good, it should be milked within an inch of its life. Not the two measly run throughs that you get here. Riff @ 3:00.



Sick and brutal, yet melodic death metal from Turkmenistan. Plus almost grindcore-grade short length. Nuff said, and riff starts at 2:00.


Tom Warrior’s Beanie

TomWarriorsBeanie here again with the riff that has been stuck in my head for the past week. Begin headbanging at 1:05.


Nordling Rites ov Karhu

Last time I submitted I would have won, but then some Lizzardwizzard conjured up a band to share his choice and bam, some 238 additional votes appeared out of nowhere.
It’s like nothing’s ever good enough for you fellers, so whatever. There’s a riff at 2:00 that’s a riff by some band that has some riffs, you might have riffed them.



Surpisingly, the demo in this one sounds better than the original album, so I will nominate the ’92 version of this kickingass material. Eucharist sorrowful melodic elements plagued their compositions and the cathartic geometrical melodies on 4:05 goes to a simple razor attack that explodes after the previous intense minutes of melancholic blasting. This song is part of my list of quintessencial melodic death metal historic pieces!



A sweet riff starts after the drumroll at 0:55. The riff sounds particularly awesome when the drums change at 1:07. You might as well listen to the whole song, though. It rips, and it’s only 1:21 long.

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 05-08-2016 20:22:33
end_date 12-08-2016 20:22:33
Poll Results:
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  • Nice one Link!

  • Abradolf Lincler


  • Maik Beninton™

    I might send a riff, for Dime.

  • High on Vallenfyre

    The lizard has my vote.
    How is everyone this morning?

    • Teresabmacek2

      <<u:u. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::::!!bx1314a:….,….

    • Although it is now evening time, my morning was great!

      Thanks for asking!


    • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

      Slept through all of it, so good.

  • tertius_decimus

    Voted for Beargod.

  • Elegant Gazing Globe

    If a Dissection riff does not win on August 13th you’re all assholes

    • tertius_decimus

      That’ll be Valfar, ein Windir.

      • Elegant Gazing Globe

        But did he die 10 yrs ago to the day of next weeks RotW?

        • tertius_decimus

          Not sure why it’s important. If we could go deeper in the guessing game… someone will offer this song:


          • Elegant Gazing Globe


          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            And he died in the most black metal way possible.

          • tertius_decimus

            How that’s something to celebrate?

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            It isn’t, but it’s totally black metal.

    • BobLoblaw

      Foiled my plans! I expect to see lots of Pantera, Death and Dissection.

      • Abradolf Lincler

        i expect some Death submits and some Bathory

        • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

          I submitted Sentenced. Kinda sorta not low hanging fruit?

      • ME GORAK!!!™


        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          That is extremely low hanging fruit.

          • ME GORAK!!!™

            JUST LIKE DEATH & BATHORY!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      There’s a good chance Dissection would win, even if the riff submitted would suck ass.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™


        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          It’s funny, because it’s true.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Only Dissection is real.

  • Abradolf Lincler

    can we just say Suiçmez is dead and submit a necrophagist track?

    • tertius_decimus
      • Sy-Klone

        2009?!? He says 2009 “for sure”?!?

        He sits upon the tallest throne of lies!

        • tertius_decimus

          Maybe he was just seized by a band of dwarves and was tortured to death, we can’t know for sure.

    • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

      Not until Time 2 comes out, or Keith Richards dies from a stubbed toenail.

  • Rob M

    Good call Stanley

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Masterlord, just on the quote alone.

    • Stanley

      I’d just about got this riff out of my head but here we go again. I’ll drive the Mrs mad whistling this around the house today.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Only Metal Church wins.

    • Ruthscustard4

      <<h:u. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::::!!bz232a:….,….

  • 365ChaosRiddenDays

    My vote goes to Stanley but the picks by Link and Karhu are good too!

  • Lacertilian

    ‘Twas the TovH article link that got Ripper to share the post Bear. I can’t conjure shit.

  • tigeraid

    aww man, but the only dead riff-ppl I know are Cliff Burton and Dimebag. One is low-hanging fruit and the other is GETCHA PULL. What to do. 🙁

    • tertius_decimus

      Did you forget Chuck Schuldiner?

  • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

    Damnit, even after Masterlord’s many many debacles, he still gets more votes than me! (secretly voting for him anyway, since I’m a sucker for Summoning. That said, I shall shake my tiny fists and beat up the lawn)

  • Hey Link. I dropped my vote in the mud. You want it?

  • I’m between Masterlord and Beargod.

    I vote Masterlord. Great picks, guys.

  • Waynecro

    So far, I’ve only been able to win Riff ov the Week for rap and guilty pleasures. I’m beginning to think I have good taste in only bad music.