Riff Beef of the Week: Make Masterlord Great Again

This morning I awoke to a message from esteemed editor-in-chief/big daddy Papa Joe Thrashnkill asking, “What’s up with Riff of the Week?” Thrice-curse that cape-besotted Masterlord! This time I shan’t spare the rod or spoil the child! So obviously there isn’t an official riff competition today, but we can still party. The Theme: Great Metallica Riffs!

Do you remember when Metallica wrote riffs like the ones in “Whiplash?” Trump remembers.

Do you remember when Metallica wrote riffs like the main one in “Master of Puppets?” Trump remembers.

To help make Metallica great again, let’s remind them of all the good stuff they’ve done. I bet you could even find some quality riffs they wrote on their, uh, more controversial albums. Share those too! Metallica, like the US, can still be great. Sometimes they just need a reminder.

So put your hand on your heart and rise to show your allegiance to the riff. Maybe by reminding Metallica what makes them great, we’ll remind the Masterlord what made him great and thereby kill two ailing birds with one ungainly stone.

Written by:

Published on: September 3, 2016

Filled Under: Lolbuttz, Metal

Views: 956

Tags: , ,

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Make JJD Great Again

    • more beer

      You need to do that on your own.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I sure do.

        • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

          On the top bunk.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            My bed has no top bunk.

          • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

            The top bunk is where the heart is.

          • more beer

            And I thought it was just where the hand took a firm grip on the penis.

          • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

            My heart and my dick are the same thing, so close enough!

          • JWEG

            The mediator between the Wang and the Hands must be the Heart.

          • more beer

            Once he gets stated. There is no mediating!

  • Abradolf Lincler

    more like . . . make saturdays great again

    • Eliza

      I was so ready for the RotW today…

  • more beer

    Doesn’t something or someone, need to be great once in order to, make them great again?

  • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds
  • MYSTERIOUS CAVEMAN GORAK™

    MAKE DONG GREAT AGAIN!!!!!!!
    http://i.imgur.com/0zxZ9hX.jpg

    • Abradolf Lincler

      ME DIDNT NO U NEW SUCH BIG WORD LIKE MYSTRIUS, CAVEMAN!!

      • MYSTERIOUS CAVEMAN GORAK™

        DE MYSTERIIS DOM GORAK!!!!!!!

    • Sir Tapir The Based

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    Dear Metallica,
    Please write another song like this.
    Sincerely,
    Boss the Ross
    https://youtu.be/v6kb5fvv6_A

    • more beer

      I am going to go pick up your beer and the the packaging materials in a little while.

      • Abradolf Lincler

        cant deicide what i wanna drink tonight. we are going to play pool

        • more beer

          I never know until I am in the liquor store. Even then there are so many choices. It is hard to decide.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            This is a fact.

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        I should send your’s out Tuesday

        • Abradolf Lincler

          Toilet Beer Traders Union

          • more beer

            Yes. There are so many beers that can only be had in certain regions or microbreweries. It make sense.

          • The Tetrachord of Archytas

            Best thing here, second only to the Riff Traders Union

        • more beer

          I will shoot for the same. I am going to get myself one as well. I think you will like this one more than the last.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Righteous!

          • more beer

            I got you this and one for myself. They are very good drinking mine now.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            I’m not seeing any pictures, my man

          • more beer

            Doing this on my phone and don’t really know what i am doing. Give me a minute.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Haha, right on.

          • more beer

            I will send you a picture from my laptop. I don’t have the patience to figure it out on my phone.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            No problem. Shoot me an email if it is easier

    • tigeraid

      As always, Dyer’s Eve is the correct answer.

      • Revocation does a mean cover of it

        • Randall’s Sweaty Space Pants

          Revocation did it so well that I instantly forgot it.

          • Judithwbelisle2

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ie646t:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !ie646t:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash756DigitalChampGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ie646t:….,……..

        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          Hey, that is pretty good

    • Eliza

      I wish that would happen, but I don’t think it will. Unfortunately.

  • MYSTERIOUS CAVEMAN GORAK™

    GORAK SEND RIFF OUT TO MISSING MASTERLORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    https://youtu.be/ILUvzL8L_Lg

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff
    • tigeraid

      Not sure if trolling, but I will upvote anyway because I fucking like this tune.

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        Thanks for the up vote. The GIMME FEE GIMME FO..

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Was just jamming on my guitar. I should have recorded it as it was good.

    • Eliza

      Now that possibly brilliant piece of music is lost forever.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      I call bullshit

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Ted plz!

  • tigeraid

    Oh for fuck’s sake, Masterlord. Isn’t there a point where we just start calling Mediocrelord?

  • Abradolf Lincler

    Hard to fuck wit this song, blast it every time
    https://youtu.be/V6Dfo4zDduI

  • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds
  • EsusMoose

    Make the MasterLoaf rise again!

  • Eliza

    The main riff of this is fast and heavy and perfect.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjlgUx7_aN0

    • more beer

      But it was also 1984. Since then nothing but shit from them!

      • Eliza

        The shit started with Load.

  • The Tetrachord of Archytas

    Poser alert: never got into Metallica

    • Max

      Number of songs I like on the first Metallica album: None.
      On the second: Four.
      On the third: Two.
      On the fourth: Three.
      On the fifth: Two.
      On any album thereafter: None.

      Enough for a pretty rollicking “Greatest Hits” package. Other than that…

      • Dubbbz

        You don’t like anything on Kill Em All?

        • Max

          Not really. I’ve never actually listened to the whole record so it’s a pretty stupid statement; but I’ve heard “Seek and Destroy”, “Anasthesia”, “Whiplash”, and that other one, and none of ’em lit my fire.

  • Masterlord is great. He’s dead.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      THE MASTERLORD WILL FOREVER LIVE ON!!!

    • more beer

      Human garbage is on my top 10 of 2016! Man your album kills!

      • Max

        Is there a link for that? I’m curious….

        • more beer
          • more beer

            There you go max. Tyrees band rules.

          • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

            Goatdayum, this is awesome!

          • more beer

            TYREE!!!!!!

        • more beer

          I am listening to this right now. Not metal not punk. But one killer band!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jm8jsTXGAU

          • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

            Great band, as was their band before (The Didjits). Some of their stuff, to me at least, sounds like a less weirded out Meat Puppets a bit.

          • more beer

            I saw them a couple of months ago doing their country music thing, Man they are good at what ever they do.

          • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds
    • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

      Checking out the “Human Garbage” stuff and this is fucking SICK!!!!!!! m/

      • more beer

        Fuck yea o my top ten of 20161

        • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

          Lol, as expected, the songs are really really short.

          • more beer

            Grind!!

          • more beer

            But his album kills. I gave him 10 bucks on name your price.money well spent!

          • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

            I might toss over a bit, after I see what my budget’s like after the usual necessities.

          • more beer

            I think even if you throw Tyree a buck he would be cool with it. He just wants his music out there. I have turned a lot of my friends on to his band. They have all liked them.

  • Tom Warriors Beanie

    I had a really good riff this week too 🙁

    • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

      Same. I’m beginning to think there’s no point in any of us submitting riffs or even having ROTW anymore. This is, what, the 12th time this has happened? Perhaps time for a whole new Saturday article.

      • Dubbbz

        Nah, Joe is taking it over next week.

        • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds

          Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet! Any criteria for the next one, or will it be the riffs we submitted for this week?

  • Count_Breznak

    Clearly MustardLord has failed us, you must not.

  • Commodus, Flusher Of Worlds