Reviewed: Resident Evil HD Remaster


If you had told me that another re-release/remake of the original Resident Evil game would be one of the early contenders for my 2015 game of the year I would have called you crazy and laughed you all the way to the interrogation room. Alas, here I am writing a review about this game because it is so far my favorite game that has been released this year. I should point out that I had never actually played any of the Resident Evil games that came before RE4 so your mileage on this game may vary depending on how many times you have already played it.

The game starts you off with you and your partners being chased by some very bad dogs who probably want to eat you. In typical survival horror fashion the group decides to take shelter in the creepy ass mansion that looks foreboding as fuck. Once inside, the group realizes that one of the members is missing and they decide to investigate. Depending on whether you play as Jill Valentine or Chris Redfield, the person who is missing will vary. I played as Jill so this review will be from her perspective. After realizing Chris is missing, Jill and Barry are told by their commander Albert Wesker to go investigate while he waits there. Jill and Barry eventually run into a zombie that Barry shoots to sleep with his Magnum and return to the main hall to find that Wesker is now missing as well. So Jill and Barry decide to split up because that makes complete sense in the head of a Resident Evil character.

Look, if you go into Resident Evil expecting some a brilliant story with phenomenal voice acting, you’re going to be disappointed. This is not a Bioware game. RE games always have awful voice acting and an awful story. To be honest that’s one of the things I find so endearing about the series. Skip to 7:23 in this video to see a shining example of the exact thing I’m talking about courtesy of Resident Evil 5:

“Well yeah but…” we can see what Chris is really interested in, he doesn’t care about saving the world.

Silly cliche-ridden story aside, this is a fantastic game. The gameplay involves Jill (or Chris if you choose him instead but you really shouldn’t) running around the mansion and exploring various rooms to find clues as to the situation while fighting off zombies and dogs along the way. The thing about these zombies is that if you don’t headshot them or burn them with the provided lighter and flask of oil they will come back as even stronger super asshole zombies called Crimson Heads. Crimson Heads are faster and do much more damage than your average zombie, as this guy learned the hard way:

This really wouldn’t be such a huge issue if it wasn’t for the extremely limited inventory space the games provides. Two slots of said inventory need to be used in order to carry the flask and the lighter. This results in a lot of backtracking to save rooms so that you can manage your inventory because you will be picking up all manner of keys and emblems and what not in order to gain access to the various locked doors around the mansion. Again, this wouldn’t be too bad if you didn’t only have 8 inventory slots (six, if you play as Chris). As annoying as the inventory system was, I liked that the game wasn’t holding my hand and allowing me to carry a rocket launcher, 3 pistols, some shotguns, and a few sniper rifles at once. The inventory system is a big reason why the game can get extremely intense at times. It will lead you to really debate whether or not you should use that health item to free up a space or if you should save it for later when you may really need it.

There are a few areas to explore (like the Cabin with a bunch of secrets and an underground laboratory), but the majority of the game takes place in the mansion. The mansion is massive and there are plenty of secrets to find if you go looking. The other locations I mentioned also come with some their own special enemies (like a giant man eating shark and giant spiders). There’s also a part with giant wasps that take great pleasure in stinging the fuck out of you:

I won’t mention much else gameplay-wise because it would involve spoilers and I don’t want to be that guy who ruins it for someone who hasn’t played the game. One of the most enjoyable things about the game is the challenge of figuring out various puzzles and what you’re supposed to do next on your own. Too many games these days tell you exactly what to do and exactly how to do it. Like Dark Souls, this game does it right. I will, however, mention that because this is a remake of an old classic, the gameplay uses fixed cameras instead of the third person, behind-the-back view that many of us are used to. While it’s disorienting at first, it’s pretty easy to get used to and I found myself not even caring due to how engrossed I was with the game.

I beat this game about 5 times in a 2 week period, because it’s just that fun to play. There are also various bonuses you get for playing through the game multiple times and on various difficulties; things like 3 round burst pistols and rocket launchers with infinite ammo. Resident Evil HD Remake is a very rewarding game that you should play if you haven’t played the originals, or if you’ve played the originals but want a more modern experience, visually. If it was any other game, I would probably dock it for the silly story, but it’s Resident Evil, so I feel like a good story would just feel out of place and wrong. I’m clearly not the only one that feels this way, because this game is Capcom’s fastest selling digital game to date. And it’s pretty fucking metal!


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  • Psh. Can we talk about REAL survival horror please?

  • Spear

    God dammit. *gets out wallet*

  • Rho Stone

    Meanwhile, I’m sitting here waiting for Splatoon

    • Spear

      I keep forgetting about that game, and then I get really excited again when someone mentions it. Have they given a release date for it yet?

      • Rho Stone

        There’s box art already, which I guess it means they’re getting ready to ship it. I hope it develops a competitive community.

    • That game seems to be very fun!! 😀 I would like to play it

  • Since I’ve built my new gaming PC, I get anxiety just thinking about all the PS4 and PC games I have yet to play/beat and half the time I just end up watching Netflix instead.
    That’s a fucking first world problem if I’ve ever heard of one.

    • Don’t sweat it lol, I still have a massive backlog on steam.

    • Dagon

      Sounds like an awesome problem to have.

    • Spear

      If you really want to hate yourself, you could use It lays out all your wasteful game spending in one big chart!

      • That site sounds evil and I will avoid it for the sake of my sanity.

    • I would like that kind of problems jajajaja.

  • Dagon

    I was talking to my best bud the other day about the original RE and all the good scares we got out of it back in the day.

    The biggest conclusion was that the fixed camera is an integral part of the experience, and it only adds to the fear element present in the game. Not being able to move the camera takes a huge element out of player’s control, which helps build tension whenever you walk into a new room. If you never played this game, you will agree with me as soon as you hit the first few corridors.

    • It’s even scarier now because people are used to the gears of war/gta style cameras.

      • Dagon

        Exactly, I can imagine the amount of kids who are going to have trouble sleeping after playing this. I was 5 when the first one dropped.

    • (I’ve only ever played RE1 and I played it waaaaay back when it was a fairly new game) – The fixed camera was OK. The controls were horrifying and awful tho.

      • Rho Stone

        >Oh no zombies are coming at me better spin in place

      • Dagon

        They truly are awful. It’s like controlling someone with terrible gait issues.

        • Unfortunately, it ruins those games for me now. The first couple were ok because we didn’t know any better at the time. Same with Silent Hill.

          Poor controls doesn’t equal terror to me; it equals frustration.

      • Oops I forgot to mention that in the review. Controls are fixed. However, if you want to be a crazy person and play with tank controls, the option is still there.

        • Scrimm

          Tank controls>>>>>>

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          JB I am finally getting caught up on yesterday’s stories. Good shit here. I have barely played any RE but this write up makes me want to play this reissue.

          • Thanks man. Dude if you haven’t yet, play resident evil 4. It’s one of the greatest games of all time. You can get it on the cheap now too


    Bloodborne is likely gonna take my GOTY prize. Also the new dks2, of course.

    I like dis series, but the genre as a whole is kinda Meh

    • What about witcher or batman? Shit there is a ton of good games dropping this year.


        Actually new Witcher will be good, have no interest in batman.

        • When fallout 4 or doom 4 gets announced at e3 the entire internet will vibrate with anticipation.

          • Dagon

            There is going to be a whole lot more vibrating for Fallout 4. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


            Those are both great franchises

          • The site will probably shut down for a few weeks when FO4 drops.

          • Dude…we should totally have a TOH live stream for fallout 4…

          • Just going to set up a camera stream of me pantsless and bleary-eyed in front of the television, surrounded by beer cans.

          • Lol i remember in fallout 3 I would be so tired I could bareley keep my eyes open, but I would push past it in order to finish a quest or something and end up being wide awake once again and playing for 4 more hours.

          • I never got into Fallout 3. I could play for a couple hours and then I would always get stuck where I would get destroyed by enemies over and over and just gave up. I feel like I’m missing out on so much.

          • Try it again on pc because mods. If it gets sooo bad you can always turn on god mode in the console.

          • you’re missing out, Ann. that game started SO many fights betwixt my girlfriend (at that time) and me.

          • Herr Schmitty


          • I hope I’m not alone in doing like the worst possible things in these games (ahem Megaton), and immediately reverting to a previous save state.

          • Herr Schmitty

            You’re definitely not. I’ll usually do a ‘gut instinct decisions’ build as my first character, and then a wanton moral-less savage for my second to see how else it can turn out!

            Poor Megaton. At least Moira Brown made it out alive!

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Almost, I always end up doing the bad stuff. But I never load an older save.

          • jesvs chrvst, this is the funniest thing i’ve ever heard

          • Those fights could have been prevented if Fallout had co-op.

          • I don’t know if I raised in consoles or what. But I CAN’T get into those Bioware games where the HUD occupy 50 % of the screen. Name it, I have played but couldn’t played more than 30 mins: dungeons and dragons stuff, fallout…

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I have to rebut Fallout 3 as my copy is lost. I’ll probably buy the GOTY edition for Xbox 360 as my old copy was on Xbox.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Actually, that’s fucking brilliant. There are folks out there that ‘swat’ live streamers, but I don’t think the type of asshole who ‘swats’ game streamers will stick around long enough to hack/swat pantsless drunken Joe.


            I do this in dks2 on occasion

          • Let’s be real, when FO4 drops we’re all going to be secluded.

          • Scrimm

            No one will notice, we’ll all be doing the dame thing.

          • Lacertilian

            I begged my parents for a 32X when they came out so I could play Doom on console.
            I feel old now.

    • Dagon

      Lots of weak games in the genre, I agree. I’m excited for this, though, because PT was KRAZY:

      • I haven’t finished PT yet. Scared the fuck out of me lol.

        • Scrimm

          Still can’t play it on Xbone 🙁

    • I still don’t know what Bloodborne is.


        It’s a From Software game (a la dark souls fame), definitely youtube some of the previews

        • It looks almost exactly like Dark Souls.


            It’s a little unknown whether or not it’s actually set in the souls universe

          • It’s definitely going for a similar vibe.

    • mine’s gonna be Soma.

  • Someone link the old RE1 opening with live action please!!!

    I want to hear again the godzilla screaming dogs!!

  • Tyree

    Rain on me! I don’t wanna live, I don’t wanna breathe, no.

  • Tyree

    Do I need a Memory Card to play it?

  • Scrimm

    Why can’t they do this with Silent HIll? I’d probably cry. RE holds up remarkably well, can confirm.

    • a 23-year old McNulty couldn’t play the first SH alone. #ToiletConfessions

      • I used to play SH to scare my nephew and so I could play the PSone without bothering #ToiletConfessions

        • Scrimm

          Good plan.

      • Scrimm

        I was 20 I believe when in came out and same thing. Bought it and some booze and locked myself in my room. Didn’t last long.

      • Mcnulty likes to leave when the scariest part of the game is coming up lol.


          Hey now, mcnutty is a brave and trve warrior

        • i have no idea what you’re talking about.

          • lol I didnt even get any further after you left. Nerves got to me. Maybe tonight…

      • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

        Yeah, it was a very strange ass game. Definitely alot of Lovecraftian feel to it.

      • Dead Space is great for the creeps as well. Play at night with no other noises in the house and with the lights off.

  • I’m playing GTA V now and I’m being the biggest nerd trying get Gold on every mission. I should have this game beat by 2017 at this rate.


      Are they still having problems or has it been patched?

      • Playing on PS3 no issues that I’ve seen, online or with the game itself.

  • I’ve been thinking about that DA:I review I said I would write and I’m wondering if there’s a point. Bioware hasn’t said whether or not they’ll release a single player expansion like Awakening, only that they’d continue to support the multiplayer, which I have no interest in.


      Coworker was just telling me earlier how much he liked the multiplayer

      • Ehhhh. I tried it a few times, couldn’t get into it.
        Maybe it will get more fun when they release expansions, or when you unlock different characters, like in Mass Effect 3.
        ME3’s multiplayer got fun when they started releasing crazy content packs (all for free) with Geth, Krogan, N7, and a bunch of others as playable characters.

    • I tried writing one but IMO there’s just too much to cover.

      • It’d require a lot of condensing, for sure.

  • Hey, bros and sis: any oldschool chit chat disqus?

    I’m planning to play some old school Castlevania tonight again, because I had a terrible nightmare of a weird Nosferatu like creature boss fight (I could defeat it!!) and it was very weird and scary.

    • Scrimm

      I’m playing Symphony of the Night again.

      • Awesome! I remember the old times passing that game. And trying to beat that Galamoth boss.

        I think I will go with Super Castlevania IV, again.

        +Unsheath the Whip+

        • Scrimm

          That is a good one also.

          • The ability to crack the whip in different positions is awesome. Gave it an entire different feeling to the formula.

            Also, the soundtrack and the brownish textures of the background set the mood perfectly.

          • Scrimm

            Indeed. I also have the ones for the NES

          • CV III is my fav despite I never could finish it. It’s very hard game.

            I could finish the first and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life.

          • CV III is my fav despite I never could finish it. It’s very hard game.

            I could finish the first and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life.

          • Scrimm

            Yes that game is a bastard. I beat the first 2, not 3.

          • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

            Completely the opposite for me. I’ve beat 2 and 3, but couldn’t get past the Grim Reaper on part 1.

          • Count_Breznak

            Beat every “Metroidvania” part, except for some of the DS titles. Using the mouse to emulate the pen is akward.

          • Scrimm

            Was always my favorite boss

  • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

    Classic game, shame the new ones are shite.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    spirits of toilets—since the beginning of time–and the very first sacred toilets
    and kings

    everytime he says–“glory days”—replace it with the phrase “glory hole”
    (all 3 at once full vol)

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    Speaking of nostalgia one of the bands that I loved to listen to when I played this is coming near me. I must go because it’s Drowning Pool performing Sinner in its entirety as well as Full Devil Jacket and Adrenaline Mob. I love all three of those bands.

    • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

      Drowning Pool = maximum lolbuttz!

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        They’re onto their fourth singer but I’m excited to see them.

    • king of segues!

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        I sure am.


    So, on a super side note: Is the “NX FLXSH” rating only for reviews? I feel that this could be applied to almost anything.

    • I guess the sentiment is the same for anything you don’t dislike.


        I’m gonna wxrk this in somehow….


        I’m gonna wxrk this in somehow….

  • pïgchop™

    I’ve been listening to a few Megadeth albums all day. Would it not be so freaking cool if this band were to rise up and begin to rage and thrash again? Hell yes!

    • Lacertilian

      I don’t like your chances.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    heres a dedication for the new megadeth…
    (all 3 at once-full vol)

  • FeelTheDarkness


  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    Don’t know when I’ll get round to buying and playing this, but I will some day. Played the original ps1 version countless times, really looking forward to the enhanced experience.

    Additional note: If they give RE2 the same treatement, the world just might implode.

  • the GC remake was incredible and imo, made the original obsolete. Zero is awesome too. i love the classic style, 4 + are fun but theyre completely different games

  • Sadistikexekution

    No Mila no Resident Evil.

    ** flushes toilet **