Raven Black – Twinkle Twinkle Little Scars: A Video Breakdown

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The spiritual successor to “Row Row Row Your Boat (Of Death).”

Every band needs a gimmick. Sometimes it’s masks and jumpsuits. Other times it’s face paint and weird facial hair extensions that thankfully never caught on. Whether it’s dressing up like space monsters or secondary characters from cartoons, a good gimmick is a good gimmick. When it works it works.

Some of you might be thinking “Hey, all the bands I like don’t have gimmicks. They just wear t-shirts and jeans.” True, but that is kind of a gimmick too. Songs about war? Gimmick. Songs about death. Gimmick. Songs about freedom and America and liberty and the Constitution? Mega gimmick. You see what I mean?

All this gimmick talk brings us to Raven Black, a Los Angeles-based alternative/nu-metal band. They very much embrace their gimmick which is…um…being clowns? Hot Topic employees? Carnival cosplayers? Let’s take a look at their new video and try to figure it out.

0:02: Jason Voorhees’s younger brother Jeyden Voorhees on guitar.
0:07: Stranger danger!
0:12: SOMEONE really likes Harley Quinn.
0:14: SOMEONE really likes having bad hair.
0:19: We already have the Manic Pixie Girl trope so we might as well go with Murderous Clown Girl too.
0:22: This is just a typical night staying at a Motel 6.
0:25: Holy shit, is that Papa Shango on bass?!
0:30: Day One of Trumpcare.
0:34: I call him Hackeysack The Clown.
0:41: It’s like an evil hoe-down and an evil carnival got together and had an evil hoe-car baby.
0:47: Worst. Ambien. Commercial. Ever.
0:52: Someone uses one of those voodoo dolls on me whenever I have White Castle.
0:58: It IS Papa Shango. So glad to see he’s still getting work after leaving the WWF.
1:02: Top hats and metal never work. It’s like oil and water.
1:08: Now is a good time to mention that Juggalo porn is a real thing.
1:12: Someone’s got fruit punch mouth.
1:19: Loving the Kool-Aid Man is dirty business.
1:28: Appropriate reaction to everything that’s been going on so far.
1:32: M’lady.
1:39: This could easily be an ad campaign for a new dating app.
1:43: What did that doll ever do to you?
1:50: Man, you can buy anything off Etsy.
1:58: Collection agencies don’t mess around, do they?
2:05: She’s going to twist up your junk like a little balloon doggie.
2:11: That’s how you spread lice.
2:20: “We’re here to collect your co-pay!”
2:24: She was filled with blackberries this entire time.
2:29: “I’m coming for you, Ultimate Warrior!”
2:36: These guys would be perfect opening up for a band like Mushroomhead.
2:40: So perfect that it actually happened already.
2:46: The Ham Slice Removal procedure is a delicate one.
2:54: Welcome to Pizza Hut!
3:02: Now she just looks like your average Burlington Coat Factory shopper.

Raven Black’s EP Seven Sins is available now via WURM Group.

  • Howard Dean
  • Rob M

    Saw the words alternative/nu-metal…started to say nope, but figured “Hey… how bad could it be?”

    Now I know how bad it could be

  • JWG79

    – Raven Banner is an excellent distributor of Canadian horror and genre films for the International market, and vice versa releases international titles for the Canadian market (often things that in the States are part of Scream Factory’s deal with IFC Midnight).

    – Ravens Brewing is a decent craft-beer brewery from Abbotsford, BC, which you might recognize as the hometown of Old Graves: https://oldgraves.bandcamp.com/

    These are the only two “Raven” things you really need to know, unless you’re also a foosball fan. It’s still hockey season though, so you can wait your turn…

    • CONAN Ayatollah of Jack & Cola

      The wrestler Raven was one of the best if a person cares about such things.

      • Óðinn

        I don’t like wrestling (with the exception of proper Catch Wrestling), but I kinda remember the guy. He was the grunge wrestler guy. He still alive?

        • JWG79

          That’s the gimmick.
          Dunno the last answer.

        • CONAN Ayatollah of Jack & Cola

          yea he’s alive, he was good in ECW, he was used poorly in WCW and i don’t know if he ever wrestled for WWF. I haven’t watched wrestling since about 2000.

          • KJM, Drug Honkey

            He wrestled for WWF briefly.

        • Sid Vicious Promos

          He is.

      • Sid Vicious Promos

        Agreed.

        • CONAN Ayatollah of Jack & Cola

          did he go under the name scotty the body way back in the late 80’s ? I can’t remember for sure.

          • KJM, Drug Honkey

            Yep.

          • Sid Vicious Promos

            He did. He also went under Scotty Flamingo and Johnny Polo.

    • Rob M

      Raven, the band, would beg to differ

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8TfQ8nIIVo

      • Óðinn

        I almost killed John Gallagher with a pizza many years ago. Luckily he survived.

        • KJM, Drug Honkey

          I caught a Judas Priest wristband that Mark threw into the audience, still have it.

      • JWG79

        In my defense of the oversight, FWLIW, I was only thinking of “raven + b[something]” things.

        • Óðinn

          Who knows? Do they even still have football? Is it still a thing? If so, how retro.

      • Sid Vicious Promos

        Theyre so good.

  • Waynecro

    Hey, spooky, gothic carnival-clown lady! I just saw your video on this new dating app. It looks like we’re a match! I’d love to meet up sometime, as long as it’s not at one of your band’s shows. Maybe we can have drinks or Build-A-Bear. Hit me up if you’re interested!

    • or Suicide Squad at the drive-in movie theater! (sneak a few bottles of Faygo underneath the spare tire for bonus points)

      • KJM, Drug Honkey

        WHOOP WHOOP

    • more beer

      Way to get back out there.

  • Grvm Spectre ov Derth

    Something I’ve learned: any time a drummer has Ahead drum sticks in a video it’s usually a warning that the music is gonna suck.

  • Jacks Smirking Revenge

    Having the ability to actually sing should be a requirement for being in a band.

    • Megadead™

      Tell that to (insert a shitty band).

  • JWG79

    Also, I’m still not going to view the video but I totally just realized why “murderous clown girl” sounded familiar even excluding the Harley Quinn connotation…

    http://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/wvxu/files/201606/funhouse_massacre_poster.jpg

    (this is worth exactly one watch, btw)

  • Megadead™

    I thought that chick they were torturing would turn into the singer by the end of the video. Would’ve been a much better concept imho.

  • Óðinn

    “Tell me, why Dick Cheney underneath my bed? Hell no, that ain’t cool!”
    Neil Fallon

  • Rizzle01

    These guys are actually really cool. They came through my littel town of ~ 10,000 people and played recently. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4e61961fde527aa061a3f116b49b8d705bf3d0beef3cb04ed2e53671a5fdf605.jpg

  • Hans Copronym

    I was expecting something far worse than just a very very half-arsed (quarter-arsed?), low-budget Diablo Swing Orchestra. Not too horrible, but a palate cleanser seems in order.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pvL4X_llwk

  • SomeGuyDude

    It’s campy and fun. I can’t hate on this one. Seems like they have a good sense of humor.