Pure Fucking Armageddon Part 3

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Your least favorite TOH article is back and it has not gotten any less evil or filthy.

Here is some bullshit before we get into the metal insanity. The past couple of weeks now I’ve been trying to live a little healthier which means running 5 days a week, eating better, and drinking less booze. It’s been a bit of a struggle, but I’m really enjoying not waking up feeling like complete shit and having to deal with a hangover for a better part of the day. Now I find waking up early a luxury; I can now make a good breakfast, get work done, and listen to metal in the morning at my own leisure for hours before going into work at 9:00. This lifestyle has something to do with me writing these articles again as well. I’m just glad it has not destroyed my taste in filthy and deranged blackened metal madness. Keep it Satan always!


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ThromosTranslunare Transzendenz (2015)
Self Mutilation Services

Hailing from Germany, this two piece deliver us their sixth full-length album in 7 years. Thromos don’t fuck around when it comes to writing new quality material. This is raw black metal with a whole lot of melancholy. A lot of this melancholy comes from the brilliant riffs that just take you on a 1 hour journey into complete despair. This is a great black metal album to just close your eyes to and kind of get lost in a depressing trance and ride the dismal riffs into a freezing abyss. Production is fitting, allowing the raw and gritty feel, but also allowing for instrument clarity. Everything is prominent; even the bass guitar can be heard. Lyrics are all in German, so you can’t understand the grief that is being spewed out, but we get an idea. For an album that is over an hour long, it really flies by in a hurry because like I said, you just get lost in it and before you know it, it’s dead silent and the thought of suicide hits you. This is an album that you definitely need to listen to with out any interruptions, so grab a beer, lock yourself in a dark room, and sit back and slowly descend into utter anguish that you can’t help but accept.


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AltarageDemo (2015)
Independent

Altarage from Spain pretty much came out of fucking nowhere and dropped this massively crushing demo on our laps, crushing all dicks into pulp with its shear heaviness. Altarage play a blackened style of death metal with elements of grindcore and war metal. This demo reminds me of a much more polished Pissgrave; the songs are filthy, crushing, evil, and menacing as all fuck. Guitars are down tuned, playing mostly tremolo style while drums are a fury of blastbeats and double kick. Vocals may take a while for some to get used to, but I immediately found a filthy love for the disgustingness. There are only two songs on this demo, but they get the point out there. This point being that Altarage give no fucks and all they want to do is decimate all with their crushing brand of ferocious sounding death metal. Be prepared for complete dick crushing.


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NachashConjuring The Red Death Eclipse (2015)
Barbarian Wrath

Here is another band that came out of nowhere and released their first ever album this year. There really is no information at all that I can find about this band online. The only information I could dig up was that Nachash hail out of Oslo, Norway and feature 3 members, one of whom has played drums in Celestial Bloodshed, which features two members from black metal powerhouse One Tail, One Head; I recommend checking both of these bands out. Conjuring The Red Death Eclipse is a mid-paced album with some groovier sections. This EP is pretty much completely deprived of blast beats of any kind. Production is very much grandiose and compliments the very triumphant songs on the EP extremely well. This release can hardly be called an EP; I honestly think it passes for a full-length album from its 30 minute running time. This is a monstrous debut album, and it’s hard to believe that Nachash will ever be able to top this. Nachash have written an album that is hard to describe in such few words because of how good it is. Certainly don’t miss out on this instant Norwegian classic.


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PhrenelithDemo (2015)
Extremely Rotten Records

Do you like your death metal filthy, deranged, sludgy, and down tuned? Well I have just the band for you. Phrenelith, featuring filth freak David Torturdød from such bands as Undergang, Wormridden, and Trepanation (Live) brings us the nasty grime. David Torturdød is no stranger to the filthy ways; christ, he just put out the new Undergang album Døden læger alle sår this July, which is pure swamp infested death metal madness. Phrenelith take things to a much more extreme level on their first demo by providing a much dirtier and deeper guitar tone and just an overall grittier product. This is a mid tempo death metal extravaganza that just is mean and nasty. Be ready to submerge slowly into the corpse infested swamps of Denmark. Showers may be necessary after listening.


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Mion’s HillTorture (2015)
Dying Victims Productions

Sabbat anyone? Mion’s Hill got their name from the Sabbat song “Mion’s Hill”, so you may get an early clue to what this band is aiming to sound like. Mion’s Hill, featuring two members from the Repulsionworshiping project Gouge, bring us another old school-worshipping product. Torture consists of four new songs and four older songs from their 2012 demo Festering Curses. The first four newer tracks are much cleaner than the demo songs but that doesn’t mean the songs are any less good. Torture provides us with some quality blackened thrash with some doomy sections that give the band its unique sound. This is some serious old school worship that goes fucking hard. Nothing here is groundbreaking by any means, but if you want some quality old school metal madness to bang your head to, then look no further. Oldschool metal or die!!!!


  • Dubzlinger, Malandro Slayer

    This Altarage EP is tight.

    • Guacamole Jim

      Yup, solid dig.

      • Dubzlinger, Malandro Slayer

        It sort of reminds me of a murkier/blastier Amenta.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Man I miss those guys already.

  • IronLawnmower

    The Mion’s Hill EP crushed my dick 1000 times.

  • Sir Tapir The Based :]

    Mmmmm, Thromos is tasty as fuck.

  • tyree, i’m on the fence about your decrease in booze consumption; but if it leads to more articles then I GUESS…

    • Malted Hate

      Booze is bad, señor.

        • Macñulti, drop that! That’s gasoline, not booze!

          • Sir Tapir The Based :]

            *lights a match*

          • more beer

            You`re a Tapir. You don`t have thumbs. You need thumbs to light a match!

          • Sir Tapir The Based :]

            I’m a special Tapir with thumbs.

          • more beer

            Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh you`re special! I must say for a Tapir who hates everyone and everything you have a great sense of humor.

          • Bunk Moreland

            Pretty sure he’d light that match near a gasoline-filled Jimmy…

          • Sir Tapir The Based :]

            Wow there! Are you sugesting that I would try to burn my beloved friend alive? I would neeeeever do that.

          • more beer

            Looks like Jameson to me.

          • KJM

            That’s some good party liquor right cheah!!

          • more beer

            Especially while at work like our friend there!

      • more beer

        I`m sure there is some SXE free range vegan site. That would appreciate that attitude.

        • Malted Hate

          Booze is bad for Jimmy, not for me. Beer is MY LIFE, punk.

          • more beer

            I was playing with you. You really felt the need to call me a punk?

          • Malted Hate

            Yeah thats right, you are a punk.
            Deal with it, Punk.

          • Sir Tapir The Based :]

            Guac Jim is punk

          • more beer

            You`re tough behind a computer screen. How old are you? Old enough to even drink a beer? Take that shit back to Metal Sucks.

          • Sir Tapir The Based :]

            I don’t think he’s being serious. I’m not even sure if you are being serious.
            Stop fighting, frens.

          • more beer

            Some what. Whats he 15? If someones gonna talk shit that’s fine. At least be creative about it.

          • Malted Hate

            Come to my town, I will fuck you up punk.

          • more beer

            Still trying to act tough? If I come to your town it will be to make you my bitch little boy.

          • Malted Hate

            Say that to MY FACE punk. I dare you, I double dare you.

          • more beer

            And then what? You gonna run to your mommy and daddy to protect you little boy.

          • Sir Tapir The Based :]

            #GetPunk’d

          • more beer

            Yea because this guy is such a badass.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      He’s out there loving life.

      • Tyree

        He has risen.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          It is so…

      • I thought you were dead. For real.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Sorry to let you down.

  • Malted Hate

    Between Nachash, Misthyrming and others stuff, its a great year for Black Metal!

    • Tyree
      • Howard Dean

        There’s all kinds of good Finnish black metal being released. Good shit!

        • Tyree

          It’s pretty ridiculous.

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        Glad to see this getting around. Shit’s nice.

      • Malted Hate

        Damn, this is pretty great!

    • Howard Dean

      This year has been for black metal what 2014 was for death metal.

  • Howard Dean

    Barbarian Wrath is an underrated label putting out some great stuff recently. The comeback album from Megiddo they released two months ago, The Holocaust Messiah, is one of my favorite black metal records of 2015. Just pure old school death worshipping blackness.

    The Altarage and Phrenelith demos are solid as fuck. Good picks.

    • New Megiddo??? I dunno how I missed that.

      • You’re getting old, C.

      • Tyree

        I haven’t listened to it either.

        https://bandcamp.com/search?q=Megiddo+&from=fanbar

        • Howard Dean

          Just bare bones, trance-y black metal. A couple of riffs per song. Nothing flashy or fancy. But it gets me nodding along quite easily.

          • Tyree

            Excellent. This will give me something to listen to tomorrow. Looking forward to it, thanks!

          • Stanley

            This is pretty good. I’m getting an Immortal vibe (obviously the slower Immortal songs) especially from Walpurgisnacht and the title track.

      • Howard Dean

        Yep. It flew way under the radar, which is funny, since it’s been expected/anticipated for about a decade now.

        It’s solid. On par with The Atavism of Evil for me, but not as good as The Devil and the Whore.

  • Mion’s Hill is great, Tairí. Plenty of (un)healthy riffage. Props for naming Undergang, that’s some disgusting death merol over there.

    Also, very happy for ya to enjoying the runs!

    Stay crusty.

    Note: I would really love to see a Pure Fucking Armageddon crust d-beat edition 😉 😉 😉

  • Good to see you are taking better care of yourself Tyree. It’s much easier to eat/drink like total shit than it is to be healthy. If you want to take it to the next level, you need The Life Regenerator!!!!
    http://youtu.be/SW6Ua_JHEHU

    • Tyree

      Still beer to be drank. Keeping it to a two beer limit during the week nights (except fridays). I used to drink from the time I got home from work to 2 or 3 in the morning and then go to work at 9am. It was like 8-9 hours of binge drinking. Just got tired of feeling like ass all the time. Plus I’m getting older and hangovers are only getting worse.

      • Definitely helps to cut back. I used to do Red Bull and vodka following by a 6 pack and it got to a point where I felt like absolute shit. I’m good with a 6 of some quality brew on a Friday now.

        • more beer

          Red Bull and Vodka equals wide awake drunk.

          • and worst hangover — well, tied with aderol

          • Guacamole Jim

            I love Jagerbombs. When I discovered the rockstar vodka, I started making Jagerbombs with them.

            That is a recipe for an insane hangover.

          • more beer

            Well at least you know the recipe by heart.

          • more beer

            I`ll bet! But just vodka gives me a horrible hangover. This is why I stick with beer and on occasion bourbon.

          • Felt great during consumption but the next morning was an awful hangover that I can live with never experiencing again.

          • more beer

            It is always good during consumption. All the sugar in the Red Bull is a huge factor in that hangover.

      • I’m glad to hear that, man. Your liver is probably real happy about that decision, too.

        • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

          Mine probably looks like a can of pineapples or a bag of trail mix nowadays.

      • more beer

        There’s always beer to be drank. Getting old and not bouncing back the way you used to sucks. I`ve been on the same plan for a while on work days. Unless I go to a show on a work night. Then I tend to throw quite a few back. I am about to break my during the week rule with this. Since I`m off early and have a light week. 10.2% abv. I don`t usually mess with Sam Adams beers but it was a gift.

        • Tyree

          Nice. The two beers I do drink on the weekdays tend to be 10% or more though. So they last and give me a good buzz.

          • more beer

            You sir are like me when it comes to beer. Only the best will do.. Plus grind!

          • Tyree

            Fuck yes!

          • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

            Me too! I buy the finest Milwaukee’s Best, Schlitz, Bush Flats, and Icehouse that money can buy!

          • more beer

            Thanks for playing. That answer is incorrect!

          • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers
          • more beer

            I wasn`t trying to make you cry.

          • more beer

            You should try this!

          • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

            If I could find it around here. The ABC store might have it, but that’s a pain in my ass.

          • more beer

            I forget they have all those screwy alcohol laws in Virginia.

          • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

            Yeah, it’s not the drinker’s haven that Chicago is. Not a dry state by any means though.

          • more beer

            Can you still only buy alcohol until 8 pm and never on Sunday? Unless you go to a bar that closes at like 1am.

          • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

            Not sure what time the ABC store closes. I can buy it at the grocery, Walgreens or 7-11 until midnight though. Limited selection, though. Hard liquor you gotta get over at the ABC store, as well as a good deal of the specialty wines and beers.

          • more beer

            When I lived there I think you could only buy any alcohol until 8 pm and only at the abc store. But that was 30 years ago. At least you can get it more places now. Here you can`t buy anything but 3.5 beer in the grocery store and not at 7/11. New Mexico is an alcoholics dream state. You can buy liquor almost everywhere. Gas stations, 7/11 and quit possibly at AA meetings.

          • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

            Nah, the ABC store is just for the hard shit mostly. Everywhere else is until midnight. Not sure about the bars, since I’ve never stayed that late at one. Plus it’s been a long long while since I’ve been at one.

          • more beer

            So it seems like they eased up a little there since I lived there at least. I totally remember not being able to get beer after 8pm at a store.

          • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

            Dark times indeed!

          • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

            Going to sleep, but I shall leave you with these treasures (which I’ll end up using again tomorrow, no doubt!)!

            http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/25/17/59f9f5291d689424748ae7c9ed6db24b.gif

            http://new4.fjcdn.com/gifs/Wtf+japan+not+this+shit+again_048b9a_5045874.gif

          • more beer

            Nothing like going out on a high note! Later

        • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers
      • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

        At the end of Saturday night, I noticed I flew through almost 24 beers in under 5 hours (on top of some weed). I just sat there like “how the fuck did I do that, how am I still standing, and did I leave some somewhere?!?”. Oddly enough, wasn’t hung over though since I ate well.

        • more beer

          Dam dude. I gotta give you props on that. That is some pretty impresive bing drinking! Cheers.

          • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

            I’ve discussed how much I drank back in the day. Trust me that was NOTHING in comparison!

          • more beer

            Still thats throwin em back. But yea nothing compared to drinking liquor like you did.

    • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

      I propose we get him and Guac a copy of Brazil Butt Lift!

      • more beer

        Then have the tryout for Miss Bum Bum.

        • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

          Hell yeah!

  • 365chaosriddendays

    Altarage and Thromos are good!

    • Dubzlinger, Malandro Slayer

      New here?

      • 365chaosriddendays

        Yes, I knew about this site few days ago!

        • Welcome aboard, mysterious hooded figure.

        • Dubzlinger, Malandro Slayer

          Ayyy, welcome.

        • Guacamole Jim

          But what happens on the 366th day?

          (cool to have you here, dude!)

          • Sir Tapir The Based :]

            We don’t talk about the 366th day. Not after what happened last time.

          • 365chaosriddendays

            Thanks mate, the 366th day in Nazgul calendar is blasphemous like a cross for a Satanist.

          • I knew your avatar was familiar 🙂

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDxGtnrl0GY

          • 365chaosriddendays

            I thought my avatar was more easy to recognize but the picture is too small and dark, those sound effects are cool by the way!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I’m making custom sound effects for a Halloween costume this year. They give me goosebumps. I hope to scare many a child and unsuspecting lady.

          • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

            You should put some copies of Pissgrave’s demo (complete with cover art of course) in the trick or treater’s baskets.

        • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

          I actually thought you were 365 Days Of Horror for a second. Welcome to the Toilet, though, Home Of The Plopper!

          • 365chaosriddendays

            Thank you, I’m glad to be a guest in the home of the plopper but I want to clarify that 365 Days Of Horror is a Zombie and I’m a Nazgûl and about my sexual identity, well, I’m entirely invisible to mortal eyes and I don’t have sexual organs because I’m a spectre.

          • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

            And I am the Supreme Leader of Best Korea, and international playboy spy/sex symbol/world’s strongest man.

    • Tyree

      Glad you dig, you hooded menace.

      • 365chaosriddendays

        I’m glad about your reviews too Tyree, I enjoyed a lot the part 2 of “Pure Fucking Armageddon” especially Aegrus and Serpentrance, you have very good tastes in Black Metal, keep it up!

        • Tyree

          Killer! I’ll do my best to keep this post going.

          • 365chaosriddendays

            Yes please, most of the times the best music lies in the underground and your posts are the concrete proof!

    • welcome, sir and/or madam!

      • 365chaosriddendays

        Thank you and I’m a sir, sir McNulty!

      • Why not both?

  • Brock Samson

    The toilet always makes me change what I have on my year end list. Damn you you spectacular bastards.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    Nachash and Thromos are pretty great but Mion’s Hill just makes me want to go listen to the original.

    • Tyree

      Yeah, Sabbat all the way.

  • Dubzlinger, Malandro Slayer

    I think Altarage will go on my list of best EPs with Gutter Instinct.

    • Tyree

      It goes hard. Wish there was more then just 2 songs.

    • Lacertilinger

      some quality EPs this year, a few rival some of the albums I have in my running list

  • Waynecro

    Totally digging Thromos, and the opening riff of “Alters” by Altarage is equal parts groovy and dick crushing.

    • New here too?

      • Waynecro

        No, sir, but thanks! I’ve been reading for a long time but only started commenting recently. I’m not very good at the internet.

        • Welcome, then!

          You say ‘dick crushing’, so you’re doing something good. Like… Uh.. Crushing dicks and stuff.

          • Waynecro

            Dick crushing seems to be a common theme ’round these parts. Indeed, My dick is so frequently crushed these days that I no longer pester my girlfriend for sex. She asked me to thank the proprietors of this website for that.

          • We have experience giving filth to the romantic life of our readers.

          • Waynecro

            “No worries, dear. You can watch HGTV in peace tonight. The Toilet ov Hell crushed my dick and punched my balls off.” All the money I would have spent on condoms now goes to Bandcamp. Thanks, Toilet ov Hell!

          • more beer

            It probably makes her life easier not having to fake headaches. Yours not so much.

          • Waynecro

            Her headaches are totally real. That’s why she has to go get a massage three or four times a month…. Goddamnit.

          • more beer

            That sucks!

          • Waynecro

            At least she always comes home in a great mood!

          • more beer

            Everyone is in a great mood after a massage.

          • Waynecro

            I’ve never been a fan.

          • more beer

            I`m not a fan of paying someone to do what ever the girl I`m dating at the moment can do.

          • Waynecro

            Very good point. I’ve never asked my girlfriend for a massage, but I like it when she bakes for me. Weekend cake!

          • more beer

            That is much better than a massage!

          • Waynecro

            The road to my heart is paved with funfetti.

          • more beer

            That`s a pretty good path. Mine is they can at least cook as well as I can. Everyone in my family thinks I missed my calling by not becoming a chef. But to me that`s the same as being locked in a room all day.

          • Waynecro

            My brother’s a chef. That’s a hard fucking life. His food is amazing, though. Whenever he visits, he gives me shit for overcooking all the chicken breast I eat.

          • more beer

            I work in the trades which isn`t easy either. But it pays well. Plus I`m outside which I really like. I would probably eat like shit if I did it for a living. Who wants to come home and do their job? Just tell your brother you`re not a chef.

          • Waynecro

            I’m too pale for outdoor work. I mowed the lawn last weekend and nearly combusted. You know the little white tip on strike-anywhere matches? That’s me.

          • more beer

            That`s mad funny. I have the best farmers tan ever. The rest of me white as a ghost.

          • Waynecro

            Nice, dude. Now that I have to mow the yard regularly (weeds grow even though the lack of water has killed 90 percent of the grass), I might be able to achieve a farmer’s tan–if I can just get past the burn-victim stage.

          • more beer

            I don`t even think I get that stage anymore. But I`m in Denver so it`s kind of warm during the day a good part of the winter so I`m not wearing a coat. It`s certainly not always cold like where I grew up in New York. Getting past the burn stage is rough. I don`t expose any more of my skin to the sun. That would burn up really badly.

          • Waynecro

            I grew up in Southern California and got into the habit of covering up to prevent burns. Great excuse for buying lots of long-sleeve metal shirts.

          • more beer

            As if you needed a reason!

          • Waynecro

            Damn right!

      • Maik Beninton™

        Man we are getting a lot of new guys today, yay.

  • Tyree
  • Waking up early is so underrated. Nothing I hate more than waking at 10 or 11 and feeling like half of my day has been wasted sleeping. Also that Alterage is nastyyyyyyyy. Thank you based Tyree.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Toilet Ov Productivity

  • I am not worthy for such filth to be bestowed upon my ears.

  • Rob M

    Speaking of Mions Hill…the same members who are in Gouge are also in the thrash band Condor

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xf0Lq8cztrA&list=PLqytfNFx9GhzVkiwHMgw1VFrOsiymd2iR

  • JW(E)G
  • DCLXVI

    Hail Satan

  • DCLXVI

    Nachash guitar tone/10

  • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

    Good to hear on the cutting down drinking part, been in that same boat for quite some time. Jogging, though? Fuck no, not happening with me! I get my walking done when I go to the grocery and am carrying back at least 4 full bags of groceries, which altogether is about a 5 mile walk, usually 3-4 times a week.

    Checking out the filth and sickness after this Kilafina playlist is done.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwquipMpsiQ

  • Angry Ghosts In My Boogers

    Also been jamming these bad boys earlier today. Had to toss in a little slam with my J-pop and Japanese garage rock playlist!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQQ5h3bh-LI

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ8WH_6X5Gk

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ilUkf4ihU8