Photo Chop: 9th Edition

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A lifetime employment to Skynet has allowed me access to some particularly awful pictures lately, and you flushers have not disappointed in your choppings. Prepare for more awkward awfulness in entries to come, but right now let’s all congratulate MoshOff for his winning entry in our last edition.

8thEditionWinner

Nicely done MoshOff, get in touch with Papa Joe to see if you’ve won anything. It’s hard to tell week-to-week if P.J. Thrashnkill’s Glorious Frostbittentacular Slamtabulous Skronk-O-Matic Blackened Prize Desk Ov Hell will bear fruit. It’s been a long winter.

Next week on To Catch A Goth: Chris Hansen pays a visit to a local IHOP at 3AM in order to catch notorious platform boot-wearer and ball chain necklace aficionado SoLiTaS AeTuRnAs as he unsuccessfully hits on young girls spilling out of the under-21 club at the strip mall (the one between the abandoned Burger King and the derelict State Farm agency, not the one across the street from the Piggly Wiggly where that 64 yr-old guy was caught having sex with a shopping cart behind the grease dumpster).

In the meantime, let’s take a look at the rest of this slightly deformed family tree and check in on these girls’ parents, no doubt a hard-working, respectable couple who, despite many hardships in this economic downturn, managed to raise two headstrong and intelligOH GOD NO

9thEditionimage_700

Stab to embiggen (via)

The rules:

  • Keep it safe for work
  • Be creative & use whatever tools you want; “talent” or “skill” is not required
  • Post your entry in a new Disqus comment below
  • Entries will be judged on the number of upvotes they receive
  • The winner will be announced in the following week’s edition and might win… something!

Have fun with that one. Huzzah?

  • Dr. W.’s Tentacles

    What is that thing on the cover photo?

    • CyberneticOrganism

      A slice of pizza

      • Guacamole Jim

        The dragon/llama (I’m just guessing here)?

        • Dr. W.’s Tentacles

          Yes, that.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            The Eragon dragon I think, something from Google images

          • Yah. Saphira. Loved that book as a kid.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            How utterly brilliant/dumb of the author to basically move a single letter to the right: DRAGON > ERAGON

      • Guppusmaximus

        It’s turned sideways & the toppings haven’t fallen off this entire time. That’s pizza perfection. It must be Red Baron…

      • Guppusmaximus

        It’s turned sideways & the toppings haven’t fallen off this entire time. That’s pizza perfection. It must be Red Baron…

    • Looks like he’s fapping it to Manowar.

      • Dr. W.’s Tentacles

        Don’t you judge him, Deucey!

  • KJM
    • Guppusmaximus

      “Llamas are larger than Frogs”

      This is true.

      • KJM

        Monty Python will never steer you wrong.

  • Call the Slambulance

    I’m currently reading this on the toilet and in a state of utter misery. My poo habits have been off lately, and I believe it’s due to the antibiotics I am on. I have major diarrhea right now. The “I suddenly got the flu while in the grocery store and nearly painted the cereal aisle” kind. The half-assed smoothie made by that fucker fifteen year old working at Jamba Juice on a Tuesday is thicker than what I am experiencing.

    • U sure it’s not withdrawal from the multiple things u are quitting cold turkey at once?

      • KJM

        Nah, that didn’t happen to me when I was quitting nicotine. The antibiotics are probably what’s doing it.

        • It’s not just nicotine that he’s quitting though

          • Vladimir Poutine

            Methinks Mister Punch-Terrorism-In-The-Dick Bauer here may be onto something.

          • KJM

            Caffeine too. Antibiotics make you shit like crazy.

      • Call the Slambulance

        I think you’re right; part of it may be due to caffeine withdrawal. I was reading about how you can get the squirts if you drink excessive amounts of caffeine and choose to detox.

    • Oli Fucking Sykes, Son.

      Thats a disgusting way to put it, but it does sound like a really shitty situation, hope you pull through mate.

    • Taylor Jong Un
    • Guppusmaximus

      Sympathies man…I’ve been dealing with a stomach virus for about a month now. I’m still waiting on the results from the “fecal” sample I sent in about 4 days ago. I think my bladder has stopped doing it’s job because I’ve gotten so used to pissing out my ass. FUCK YOU CHIPOTLE!!

    • Óðhinn
  • Oli Fucking Sykes, Son.

    That time I was filming with Rivers Cuomo for the Raditude movie. God that was a terrible idea.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Please tell me this was not a real thing

      • Oli Fucking Sykes, Son.

        It wasn’t, it was what Rivers sent me as a design doc.
        If it was made, I would have been his baby, and he would have been my daddy.
        You can see why I didn’t take up the role.

  • Slit your goats

    ..

    • Oli Fucking Sykes, Son.

      I’m guessing Varg thinks they don’t look european enough.

      • BLOODBEARDE

        Nope, not blonde

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Huh, wow

  • Dr. W.’s Tentacles

    Near… Far… Wherever you are!

  • Robby Agony and Vicky Vicious:

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Fits perfectly

  • Taylor Jong Un

    ….

    • Vladimir Poutine

      This.

    • old_man_doom

      That fuckin’ thing is terrifying

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Pew pew pew

  • Ditch the zero and get with the hero baby!

    • KJM

      ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU

      • I had no idea this was a movie or that the pic was of Sean Connery until just now.

        • KJM
          • Guppusmaximus

            It really was the Bond flicks that gave him a platform. Wow, those directors and script writers really carried this hack,huh?

          • KJM

            Zardoz was the movie that scared Sean Connery away from sci -fi for years. I’m still not sure how they got him to do Outland.

      • Dagon

        YOU KNOW IT

        PENIS IS EVIL BRAH

        • KJM

          Perfect movie to smoke up to.

    • Dagon

      The simple gift of visualizing Sean Connery’s glorious Zardoz attire is enough for me to consider you a winner.

      Expect some açaí berries in your doorstep soon.

      • Love me some acai berries. Wish I could get a hold of them so I can put them in my smoothies. I need a victory in the Photo Chop category as I’m trying to achieve the TovH triple crown and that’s the only one missing. Appears I locked down my 1st ROTW yesterday.

        • Dagon

          That Suffo riff was bomb.

          We consume acai very differently. You would probably get stabbed by an elderly local if you said you were throwing it in a smoothie haha n

    • CyberneticOrganism

      THE PENIS IS EVIL

  • Guppusmaximus

    Jesus Christ is this heavy…

    • CyberneticOrganism

      I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you bro

  • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

    These people have half the brain that Sid Vicious does!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      THIGHS OF MEAT

    • Sir Tapir the Based™

      That guy looks nothing like the Sid Vicious I remember.

    • KJM

      I was watching live when Sid broke his leg doing the top rope jump. It was horrible. I think I actually screamed.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      *did

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        His hair looks like Ramen for some odd reason.

      • Virgil the Ghost Poet

        He’s not dead, is he?

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          Yes, of a heroin overdose while awaiting trial for the murder of Nancy Spungen

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Wrong Side Vicious.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Hehehe

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            What side was it meant to be? And don’t call me vicious

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            The right side you ass. Fuckin autocorrect.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            xxoo

  • J.R.

    im excited to see how the Photochop image changes for the next time! Just noticed that each one progressively altered. I wonder how long until it is an entirely new image all together? What will that mean for Photochop? What will that mean for the Toilet?

    • CyberneticOrganism

      It will keep going until we can’t fit in anymore dragon stuff. So, like… ten years.

  • Guest

    A new side to Jack and Meg?

  • OldMetalHead

    A New Side to Jack and Meg?

    • CyberneticOrganism

      GAH

  • JWG

    I’m spending far too much time trying to manipulate the lasso tool just right.
    This is not how I envisioned using my Sunday. I give up.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      I know the feeling man. No probz.

  • J.R.

    Please love it as much as I love all things that are not Tapirs

    • OldMetalHead
      • J.R.

        Ze Frank is something I do love! Especially since he calls the Tapir out as the freakish amalgamation of bestial parts that it is!

        • Dr. W.’s Tentacles

          Ze Frank is a name I haven’t seen in a long time. Good show, lad.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Love that one. The owl & cuttlefish videos are my lolz jams.

    • Sir Tapir the Based™

      Not loving tapirs, that’s not a paddlin’

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Awww so cute

    • Taylor Jong Un

      “Oh, Masterlord, I qish I could quit you!”
      “It’s alright, my Little China Girl! You just shut your mouth!”
      “Man, I feel like a woman!”

  • The Bourbon Is Mine… Alone

  • Óðhinn

  • Óðhinn

    Here’s mine:

  • Taylor Jong Un
    • JamesGrimm

      jesus tap dancing christ

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      Is that the national pet of Best Korea?

      • Taylor Jong Un

        Yep!

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          So do you ride it while your servents feed it the blood of your enemies?

          • Taylor Jong Un

            I feed it tapirs and American tanks as I ride into battle.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    “someday all women’s lib philosphy will be outlawed–and women will be required to sign ceritficates of servitude–to their ‘master male”—and required to obey –by law—all males–by full penalty of law”

    from the song “imagine” by john lennon (basement demos)


    be careful of the liars who you idolize!!
    all 3 at once – full vol

    https://youtu.be/F4IH-EqoHws

    https://youtu.be/1Zzg3UP-x8k

    https://youtu.be/zo6caNX1e84