Photo Chop: 7th Edition

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Congratulations to Papa Joe for winning the 6th Edition with his brvtally honest look at the life of animated deer!

6thEditionWINNER

Nicely done! Unfortunately, the prize for last week was nothing, so you get nothing. Such is life. But since the prize, had there been one, would have come from your own vast stock of promos & albums anyway, feel free to treat yo’ self to anything that you already currently own. Anything at all. Like your couch! Or a sandwich! Even your own car! Huzzah!

In the meantime, I’m keeping the chit chat to a minimum this week because I’m doing boring shit going on tour buying an island setting up a craft shop on Etsy going to Mars Iceland Hell somewhere dull tomorrow and time is of the essence. Here’s this week’s image:

:P

Stab to embiggen (via)

The rules:

  • Keep it clean & safe for work
  • Be creative & use whatever tools you want; “talent” or “skill” is not required
  • Post your entry in a new Disqus comment below
  • Entries will be judged on the number of upvotes they receive
  • The winner will be announced in the following week’s edition and might win… something!

Chop away, flushketeers.

  • Dagon

    STAB

    • Shrimp in a Pizza Box
      • CyberneticOrganism

        Stabbed hard

        • more beer

          I`m not sure stabbing is enough in this case. I think the stabbing needs to be made complete with some decapitation!

          • Lacertilian

            of cattle?

          • more beer

            no the dude in the picture.

      • Stockhausen

        Every time I have a show I check my mic by growling STAAAAAAAAAABWOOOOOOOOOUND.

      • Stockhausen

        Every time I have a show I check my mic by growling STAAAAAAAAAABWOOOOOOOOOUND.

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    M Shadows disapproves of this idiot.

    • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

      M. Shadows

      • CyberneticOrganism

        M SHMADOWS

        • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

          T-101

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Cyber-M-ic Shadownism

    • more beer

      I think everyone disapproves of this idiot.

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    Does this count as doxxing? If so I apologise

  • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

    Simple, but I couldn’t think of anything else.

  • Dr. Dubz

    Caaaaaaable Guuuuuuyyyy!!!!

  • nsfW.

    • Dr. Dubz

      Watch out, bearded guy!

    • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

      He looks like I used to back when I used to torture real metalheads, only with a manly beard replacing most of my girly face.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Gandalf, we could pass through the mines of Moria…

      • Inducing… The Sheeple

        Troll…

        No seriously, there’s a troll.

  • The Beargod

    Does every free Photo editor suck as hard as Pixlr?

    • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

      Gimp is pretty good as far as i’ve seen.

    • How dare you impugn the name of Pixlr

      • The Beargod

        It won’t obey my godly command! The wretched fool!

      • Dr. Dubz

        He wouldn’t know what to do with a real photo editing tool if he ever got the chance.

        • The Beargod

          Possibly very true. I’m just bitter because I couldn’t find a simple slashing tool I would have liked to use.

        • The Beargod

          Is there a simple cutting tool there, or am I not as blind as I seem?

          • Dr. Dubz

            Use the lasso, bear man.

          • The Beargod

            *All embarassed and everything*
            Can’t find it on the web app.
            EDIT: It’s because it’s not on the web app, I’ll need to download the porper for next time.

          • Dr. Dubz

            Here, you helpless deity. Use this tool to outline what you want to cut out. Then hit ctr x. Then ctr v. It will make a new layer out of the object you just cut. You can then deselect the old layer on the right side to remove it from the picture.

          • The Beargod

            Yeah I edited mine too. I was using the web app version, which for some reason lacks the lasso.

          • Dr. Dubz

            This is the web app. Were you using the express version?

          • The Beargod

            Jah Jamal!

          • Dr. Dubz

            Don’t use the express version

          • The Beargod

            I have learned my lesson for next time, although there seemed to be some skullfuckery going around as I originally tried to start the proper version. I shall look into this. Verily.

          • Dr. Dubz

            I’m glad I could set you on the straight and narrow

          • Stockhausen

            You triggered my Tom Waits reflex, in which he instructs you to take a left off the straight and the narrow.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHn_Kb4Dz40

          • Dr. Dubz

            refresh my comment for picture.

        • The Beargod

          Is there a simple cutting tool there, or am I not as blind as I seem?

      • Scrimm

        I’m too stupid to figure it out at all. Gave up trying.

  • MoshOff

    Yep.

  • Inducing… The Sheeple

    From my new range of motivational posters…

    • CyberneticOrganism

      One… uh, um… Satan

    • Inducing… The Sheeple

      And another…

  • Inducing… The Sheeple

    From my new range of motivational posters…

  • Guest
    • Tyree

      POOP

  • JamesGrimm
    • Tyree

      POOP.

  • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

    The top 5 black metal albums of the last 5 years:

    5. Aosoth – An Arrow in Heart
    4. Svartidaudi – Flesh Cathedral
    3. Mgla – With Hearts Toward None
    2. Nokturnal Mortum – The Voice of Steel
    1. Deathspell Omega – Paracletus

    Discuss.

    • Tyree

      WOAH!

    • Hubert, Goat Among Insects

      Paracletus is more Death Metal than Black Metal isn’t it?

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        It’s heavy on the death metal, sure, but I always consider DsO black metal at its core. There’s still a decent amount of tremolo and shrieks in that album, and I think we can safely call Paracletus dissonant black/death metal. Feel free to include black/death metal albums if you wish.

        • Hubert, Goat Among Insects

          Fair enough. I tried Paracletus and Drought, but I was very put off by the extremely loud production job.

    • Can’t argue with that list.

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        Negative Plane were definitely a close contender on my list, as were Sinmara and Avichi’s The Devil’s Fractal (a criminally underrated album).

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        Also: It was probably announced somewhere and I just missed it, but no RotW this week?

        • Hubert, Goat Among Insects

          Tomorrow, photo chop and Rotw were switched

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Ah, I see. I missed that (probably was posted in the FB group or a post earlier this week?)

          • Dr. Dubz

            We ran a post from the main FB page earlier this morning, but it was after the fact.

        • It’s running on Sunday because I completely forgot about it.

    • Hubert, Goat Among Insects

      I can argue with this list, but I haven’t listened much to any of these so I won’t.

      • The Beargod

        MGWAH! Now, Then AOSOTH! GO! SAVE YORSELF!

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        What would your list look like?

        • Hubert, Goat Among Insects

          I don’t know exactly, but it would definitely include Teethed Glory and Injury by Altar of Plagues.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            I am a definite Teethed Glory… detractor, as I didn’t like it that much and didn’t think it was nearly as good as everyone said it was (and not nearly as good as White Tomb or Mammal, for that matter), but I can’t argue that it wasn’t an influential album. Apart from Sunbather, that album was probably the one that sent the Pitchfork/ Brooklyn Vegan/Needle Drop crowd the must aflutter. That was a huge album for the “post-“/hipster underground.

    • The Beargod

      Are we going to argue about Black/Thrash or more importnatly the more post- or artsy stuff?

      Or just pure BM.

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        Include whatever you consider “black metal,” I suppose. This is my list when I consider the “best” black metal albums of the last 5 years-with criteria including importance, influence, and my personal enjoyment.

        As you can tell from my list, I’m more of a “pure” guy. But I do love me some black/thrash, and I think we can safely consider Paracletus to be a borderline “post/art” album (albeit much better executed).

    • Dagon

      NOMSUNBATHERNUSUCK

    • Stockhausen

      I was jamming that Aosoth album yesterday, it’s great. I probably wouldn’t have put it in this list though.

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        I really like it. A lot. The guitar tone is so frigging heavy/thick and… hellish. That record sounds like it is suffocatingly hot. Made great use of samples, too (something which I usually am not a fan).

    • Tyree

      5. Aosoth – An Arrow in Heart
      4. Orcultus – Black Rust
      3. Sinmara – Aphotic Womb
      2. Vemod – Venter på stormene
      1. Mgla – With Hearts Toward None

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        Nice. I actually considered that Sinmara for my 5th spot, as it has had a huge impact on me since I picked it up. Definitely would’ve places high on my 2014 top 10 had I received it before I made my list.

        • Tyree

          Man I love that album.

          Aosoth is great man, seeing them live sold me though. Flawless!

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Nice! I would love to see them live. I really like the duality of Aosoth and Antaeus, two bands with a lot in common and a lot of mutual ties, but they exist as like two sides of the same coin–Aosoth brings the atmosphere, and Antaeus is just unrelentingly punishing and brutal.

      • Mother Shabubu III

        I YouTubed Mgla, and the top comment was some dude with a Pokemon avatar. I’m sure that’s what the original black metal people envisioned as the target audience of their anti-Christian sonic manifestos, lol.

    • The Beargod

      I try tried to argue, but it seems no matter what releases I include too many worthy are left out. I could not find consent with any list.

      But I’d probably change at least that Svartidaudi even though it is marvelous.

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        I left out about 50 releases that could have made it. But I feel pretty confident with my list.

        Honestly, that’s the trick to list making. Be confident in your picks.

    • God ov All

      the voice of steel. Holy shit I’m surprised that disk hasn’t broken from the repeated plays in my car. Probably one of my favorite albums of all time.

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        Seriously amazing and very underrated and ignored (which I understand to a degree, since NM is pseudo-NS/racist). But goddamn, that album deserves more love than it gets.

        • God ov All

          That album artwork is absolutely gorgeous too. I’m a sucker for album art. And if there is one thing I can compliment iTunes on, it’s giving me an album view where I can see all album artworks in all their glory.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Agreed. One of the best covers ever. Stunning.

        • Sacritastic

          NM is for sure more than just “pseudo-NS/racist”.Maybe their new music`s lyrics are not inspired by racists or NS, some band members are still deep in national socialism.
          NM, Drudkh and other bands from Ukraine support this ideology because they see it as a part of their national identity.
          Before WW II, Ukraine was part of the soviet republic. As Nazi Germany expanded on their territory, many Ukrainian nationalists hoped that they will become an independent state side by side with the Wehrmacht.
          Ukrainian NS today is a counter movement to the russian separatism of eastern Ukraine. The recent events in the Ukraine fuel these movements as well in the population as in these bands.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Well said!

    • Scrimm

      Won’t support DSO so I can’t speak on it, But I would definitely have Blood of Kingu and Hacavitz on there. Need to really give some of those another listen though. Thanks for recommending them!

      • The Beargod

        Why won’t you support DsO? No Habla Deine Kieli?

        • Scrimm

          Some of the members side projects deal with a subject I refuse to have anything to deal with. It’s the one thing guaranteed to make sure I never support anything you do.

          • The Beargod

            Aspa’s Nicole-12?

          • Scrimm

            Bingo.

          • The Beargod

            Other than that project (which is musically very dull) I am actually somewhat of a fan. But I can basically see why people would avoid it.

          • Scrimm

            I like some of the DSO stuff I’ve heard but as someone who worked with kids for over 11 years, incuding some that were abused I can’t look past that.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            What’s the controversy? I googled it and couldn’t find anything.

          • The Beargod

            Nicole-12’s themes are based on paedophilia.

          • Dumptruck Full Of Nose Hair

            Damn, I can definitely see the controversy then! Definitely skipping that one.

    • Dr. Dubz

      I’m adding that Nokturnal Mortum to my list of albums to jam immediately.

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        You won’t be disappointed. It’s one of my all-time favorites. Lots of variety, and it does it all on a massive, grandiose scale. Ripping black metal jams, soaring melodies, a little synth, folk instruments, and even some psychedelic/ jam band type moments (seriously, the third track has this moment part way in where the whirling black metal drops away, and this bassy groove and jam band like guitar solo takes over). It’s crazy! And I love every minute of it.

        • Dr. Dubz

          I’m excited. Since black metal was really the last subgenre I started to explore, I don’t feel I have a substantially comprehensive knowledge to compile a list like yours.

        • Dr. Dubz

          By the way, you heard that new Drudkh song that got released a few weeks ago, right?

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            I have. Tasty. Can’t wait for the album to drop!

        • Dr. Dubz

          Listening to Bamy Nawii again atm, but will report back soon.

        • Scrimm

          I’m checking that one out as well.

        • Dr. Dubz

          Update. Pretty rad!

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Byah!

          • Dr. Dubz

            That Bamy Nawii album I mentioned apparently features some guitar appearances by the guitarist of Nokturnal Mortum. Also, Arachnophobia records ships for free worldwide.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            I’ll have to check out Arachnophobia. I’m not real familiar with their roster.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus

        I can confirm that you are in fact listening to this one, through Spotify stalking. Lol.

        • Dagon

          I do it daily.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Stalk people on Spotify? Oh yeah.

    • The Beargod

      Oh yah, Finally after multiple cancellations gonna see Nokturnal Mortum this summer.

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        Fuck, that’s awesome. Jealous of you, my F(r)i(e)nn(d).

    • Mother Shabubu III

      1. Deathspell Omega – Paracletus
      2. Deathspell Omega – Paracletus
      3. Deathspell Omega – Paracletus
      4. Deathspell Omega – Paracletus
      5. RapeGoat – Man Cannot Be Saved…wait no, I mean Deathspell Omega – Paracletus.

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        This is a list about which I will say “this is a great list.”

  • Stockhausen

    BEHOLD

  • KJM
  • I’m going with this one, I was gonna add more but I gave up.

  • KJM

    I’m just not feeling the new singer for Witch Mountain at all. She’s super fine but she doesn’t have the same range Uta does at all. Maybe when they record new material with her I’ll change my mind.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIettkE_T7o

    • The Beargod

      The guitarmang used to vox before Uta… Maybe they ought to have gone back instead of taking another woman because they have to take a woman ’cause they had a woman. Don’t recall if he was any good though, nor do I mind this new chick. Very similar to Uta, live sound compliments bass nicely, much heavier.

      • KJM

        Unless the guitarist is a castrati, I don’t see him doing Uta’s material well at all.
        Kayla’s just fine singing the regular parts and growling but when she tries to hit the highs she just can’t make it all the way. Hopefully newer songs will play to her strengths rather than trying to replicate Uta.

        • The Beargod

          I think they could have gone without much of Uta’s material in their set after they release a new album. A song from maybe each and little re-arranging. Each member ought to shape a band, but not define.

  • I wish I could think of something that didn’t involve semen. On a different note, I haven’t been posting much as my body decided to finally get sick after a ten year healthy streak. It did so with a vengeance. Started out with a nice runny nose/sore throat combo. The bacteria from my throat got in my ear and gave me an ear infection. To quell the pain, I took oxycodone and because I hadn’t eaten anything or ever had experience with narcotics, caused me to vomit which led to my eardrum rupturing. I’ve only now gotten to the state where I can look at a computer screen without the vertigo causing me to want to go into a state of severe nausea.

    • God ov All

      Dude I feel ya. I was bedridden all day yesterday. On the bright side, played bloodborne for 6 hours straight!

    • Maik Beninton

      Damn. Can you hear things fine?

      • I’m nearly deaf in my right ear. Went to an ear specialist and she said that it is healing fine. I have a followup appointment on Wednesday to make sure. My hearing should return to normal within three months. The annoying thing right now is the bloody drainage leaking out of my ear. Got some antibiotics to kill off the last of the infection.

  • Rho Stone

    too hungover man, too much booze

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      This should have got more love

  • Guest

    WINRAR

  • Call the Slambulance

    Repost and edit because I don’t know how to use fucking Disqus

    • Dr. Dubz

      This is terrible. You know it. I know. Yet it’s also beautiful.

      • Call the Slambulance

        It is horrendous. I adore it.

    • KJM

      This is some Human Centipede type shit, right here.

  • OldMetalHead

    Miley Ramone